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(CBS Miami)   Man dies after clinging to spoiler trying to prevent his drunk friend from driving. Hero tag trumps Florida, Dumbass tags   (miami.cbslocal.com) divider line 91
    More: Hero, Barbara Ianzano  
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7212 clicks; posted to Main » on 20 Aug 2014 at 5:44 PM (27 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



91 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-08-20 02:31:38 PM  
Way to ruin the story by telling us he died. You could have included a "spoiler alert," subby.
 
2014-08-20 03:04:39 PM  
Not entirely sure it trumps dumbass.
 
2014-08-20 03:10:12 PM  
He may still be alive today if he had just been a defender.

/a wha...
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-08-20 03:10:54 PM  
Sounds mainstream Florida to me.

Police said the driver sped off with Joey still grabbing onto the back of his car. About half-a-block away, the car slammed into a tree near the 5300 block of Flamingo Place.

Wouldn't it be ironic if the guy hanging onto the spoiler caused the car to crash?
 
2014-08-20 03:12:16 PM  

Relatively Obscure: Not entirely sure it trumps dumbass.


HERO is the top tag.  FLORIDA trumps all others, typically with DUMBASS, FAIL, and OBVIOUS implied.
 
2014-08-20 03:23:48 PM  
Kevin Ward Jr?

/too soon?
 
2014-08-20 05:45:45 PM  

kbronsito: "spoiler alert," subby.


i'd see what you did there if i wasn't blind drunk

and i'm not
 
2014-08-20 05:45:47 PM  
SPOILER ALERT
 
2014-08-20 05:46:40 PM  

kbronsito: Way to ruin the story by telling us he died. You could have included a "spoiler alert," subby.


Aaaand I didn't even read the Weeners.
 
2014-08-20 05:47:15 PM  
The word HERO should be reserved for one who saves a human life or drives in the winning run.
 
2014-08-20 05:47:16 PM  

Dragonflew: kbronsito: Way to ruin the story by telling us he died. You could have included a "spoiler alert," subby.

Aaaand I didn't even read the Weeners.


TIP: Can't fool the filter using "initial" and "reply".
 
2014-08-20 05:47:18 PM  
it gave him wings.
 
2014-08-20 05:48:28 PM  

kbronsito: Way to ruin the story by telling us he died. You could have included a "spoiler alert," subby.


omg.. im going straight to hell for laughing at this
 
2014-08-20 05:48:56 PM  
darWinning!
 
2014-08-20 05:50:43 PM  
Was the car's spolier damaged? How is it supposed to generate downforce now? Who's paying for it?
 
2014-08-20 05:52:42 PM  

ZAZ: Sounds mainstream Florida to me.

Police said the driver sped off with Joey still grabbing onto the back of his car. About half-a-block away, the car slammed into a tree near the 5300 block of Flamingo Place.

Wouldn't it be ironic if the guy hanging onto the spoiler caused the car to crash?


I'm guessing he was a factor.
 
2014-08-20 05:57:06 PM  
And we all learn an important lesson,  never help anyone.
 
2014-08-20 05:57:09 PM  
I don't know what tag is best, but the dude certainly had a helluva good grip
 
2014-08-20 05:57:23 PM  
I hope the drunk driving "friend" is charged with something.
 
2014-08-20 05:57:59 PM  

SquiggsIN: can i criticize drunks or did fark add something to the TOS about that too?


I was going to criticize the guy who thought he could stop someone else from driving drunk by grabbing part of his car.

Then I read where it slammed into a tree and had to conclude that he was right in believing his friend was too drunk to drive.

Fark criticizes drunk drivers all the time and rightfully so.  I think it's okay to drive after one or two drinks but some people would like me to be executed for that.

Driving after 8 or 9 drinks is definitely wrong though.  Even 3 or 4 drinks might be stretching it a bit.  I'm trying not to get arrested.  If I have a couple of beers at a bar and drive home, my biggest fear isn't that I'm going to slam into a tree or run a red light and crash into a huge fireball.  No, my biggest fear is that one of my brake lights just burnt out and some cop is going to ask me to step out of the car and do some field sobriety tests.

Driving is really simple - you do the speed limit, you stay in your lane and you stop when required to do so.  Something tells me the guy who slammed into the tree wasn't doing any of those things.
 
2014-08-20 06:00:42 PM  
Its hard enough to drive drunk. He shouldn't have been distracting the guy.
 
2014-08-20 06:02:10 PM  
30.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-20 06:03:02 PM  
I always figured being a hero required some amount of success in your attempt.
 
2014-08-20 06:03:40 PM  

trappedspirit: darWinning!


I think he kind of missed his mark on this one. The good kid died and the drunk is still alive. That kid is going to have to live with this. Maybe, if he never drinks again and dedicates his life to doing the right thing, something may be gained by this.
 
2014-08-20 06:05:53 PM  
Victim's heart was in the right place, but as for his rational thought?  A pedestrian attacking a motor vehicle never ends well (see Tony Stewart thread).  This is just SAD tag, getting buttfarked by FLORIDA tag.
 
2014-08-20 06:08:12 PM  
Something tells me he didn't think his cunning plan all the way through.

I would have let go of the spoiler.
 
2014-08-20 06:08:21 PM  
So the guy that held onto the spoiler was the drunk idiot?
 
GBB
2014-08-20 06:09:21 PM  

ZAZ: Sounds mainstream Florida to me.

Police said the driver sped off with Joey still grabbing onto the back of his car. About half-a-block away, the car slammed into a tree near the 5300 block of Flamingo Place.

Wouldn't it be ironic if the guy hanging onto the spoiler caused the car to crash?


Essentially turning the car into a Penny Racer?
 
GBB
2014-08-20 06:09:58 PM  
What's paved with good intentions?
 
2014-08-20 06:11:15 PM  
snape kills dumbledore
 
2014-08-20 06:11:26 PM  
If he didn't stop his friend from driving, not much of a hero.

/dnrtfa
 
2014-08-20 06:12:02 PM  
In my younger days we'd always send someone outside to steal a friend's spark plug wires to keep them from driving drunk.
 
2014-08-20 06:15:13 PM  

daffy: trappedspirit: darWinning!

I think he kind of missed his mark on this one. The good kid died and the drunk is still alive. That kid is going to have to live with this. Maybe, if he never drinks again and dedicates his life to doing the right thing, something may be gained by this.


Idiots that hang onto the back of cars we need less of.  He probably caused the wreck distracting the driver.  Chances are if he had done nothing that night he would still be alive and his friend would have gotten home ok.
 
2014-08-20 06:15:44 PM  
He was doing it wrong

img.fark.net

/the gun would have helped too.  Florida is a Stand your Autobody state.
 
2014-08-20 06:17:32 PM  
Pretty sure Dumbass trumps Hero in this article.
 
2014-08-20 06:19:17 PM  
This never would have happened to Teen Wolf.
 
2014-08-20 06:19:30 PM  
Jeez, no spoiler alert?
 
2014-08-20 06:21:03 PM  
iseekthegrail.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-20 06:21:12 PM  
Spoilers'll kill you.  Always knew it.
 
2014-08-20 06:22:11 PM  
Does Florida not have phones or 911?

Kids, I know you think you're special, but no matter how special you are, you're not going to be able to stop a car. Just take out your phone and call the cops when you see a dangerous asshole on the road.
 
2014-08-20 06:22:36 PM  

trappedspirit: daffy: trappedspirit: darWinning!

I think he kind of missed his mark on this one. The good kid died and the drunk is still alive. That kid is going to have to live with this. Maybe, if he never drinks again and dedicates his life to doing the right thing, something may be gained by this.

Idiots that hang onto the back of cars we need less of.  He probably caused the wreck distracting the driver.  Chances are if he had done nothing that night he would still be alive and his friend would have gotten home ok.


Better than even odds that's true, sadly.
 
2014-08-20 06:23:18 PM  

Vlad_the_Inaner: He was doing it wrong

[img.fark.net image 400x299]

/the gun would have helped too.  Florida is a Stand your Autobody state.


Im going to vote that comment "Smart" just because TJ Hooker is always cool.
 
2014-08-20 06:23:22 PM  
The good 'uns die young and the stupid ones don't. I hate this world.
 
2014-08-20 06:29:26 PM  

GBB: What's paved with good intentions?


A phrase very similar to an AC/DC song title?
 
2014-08-20 06:29:47 PM  
My two questions:

1) How farking drunk do you have to be to think hanging onto the spoiler was a good idea?
2) What kind of car / brand of spoiler was that?  I would have thought most spoilers would tear off a car with the weight of a man pulling on them.
 
2014-08-20 06:32:45 PM  
Article says the kid was about to start firefighter school. Some sort of hero complex going on there. The driver probably saved Florida from a fire bug a few years from now.
 
2014-08-20 06:32:45 PM  
www.nextmovie.com
 
2014-08-20 06:32:47 PM  

JesseL: In my younger days we'd always send someone outside to steal a friend's spark plug wires to keep them from driving drunk.


That's actually a pretty good idea,  I'll have to remember that one.
 
2014-08-20 06:33:07 PM  
cdn.shopify.com
 
2014-08-20 06:40:01 PM  

Boo_Guy: JesseL: In my younger days we'd always send someone outside to steal a friend's spark plug wires to keep them from driving drunk.

That's actually a pretty good idea,  I'll have to remember that one.


I'm not so sure how well it works on someone who habitually locks the car.  Then you'd need the keys to get the hood open.  If you've got the keys, just keep them.

Now a jack and 4 cinderblocks.  THERE's a PLAN!
 
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