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(LA Times)   ♪ Grandma thought her grandson was a burglar... Shot him with a gun kept by her side... We don't know if she'll face any jail time... But damn she's really lucky no one died... ♪   (latimes.com) divider line 63
    More: Dumbass, Hillsborough County Sheriff's Office, wood flooring, grandmother  
•       •       •

2542 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Aug 2014 at 11:01 PM (40 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



63 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-08-19 08:16:51 PM  
second amendment Boobies
 
2014-08-19 08:20:46 PM  
She just shot? At the door? In the dark? With no warning?
Guilty.  She doesn't have a leg to stand on.


drop.ndtv.com
\And like Oscar, will probably never step foot in prison.
 
2014-08-19 08:45:16 PM  
When it doubt, fire blindly in the dark

/feel safer with every round
 
2014-08-19 09:49:51 PM  
Florida tag?
 
2014-08-19 10:22:07 PM  
And this, people, is what happens when you let the gays marry.
 
2014-08-19 10:32:06 PM  

nickdaisy: And this, people, is what happens when you let the gays marry.



i65.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-19 11:03:58 PM  
Hillsboraq
 
2014-08-19 11:05:02 PM  
It's his own fault for walking around in his own house at night with the grandmother his parents left him with to keep him safe. A reasonable child would know that when Nana keeps a loaded gun by the bed, you're supposed to cower under the covers all night long, even to wetting the bed, because that way you're SAFE.

Doesn't anyone tell kids anything these days?
 
2014-08-19 11:06:12 PM  
How the hell is your first thought "burglar" and not "bladder"? She shouldn't be allowed near the children. Or any children. Or guns.
 
2014-08-19 11:06:45 PM  
We have an epidemic of scared old white folk. I wonder how that came to be?
 
2014-08-19 11:14:27 PM  
If he'd had a gun too, everything would have been okay.
 
2014-08-19 11:15:11 PM  
No Florida tag, subby? Seems like one of the more obvious examples.

/also, f*ck you for getting that in my head
 
2014-08-19 11:15:17 PM  
Mugshot:
img2.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-08-19 11:15:19 PM  

Gyrfalcon: It's his own fault for walking around in his own house at night with the grandmother his parents left him with to keep him safe. A reasonable child would know that when Nana keeps a loaded gun by the bed, you're supposed to cower under the covers all night long, even to wetting the bed, because that way you're SAFE.

Doesn't anyone tell kids anything these days?


Haven't seen the 'guns are used to threaten children in to not sneaking out at night' line for awhile. I still remember the first time I saw that particular type of absolute insanity, I thought it was just some random kook but it comes up often enough that I began to realize...

Wow, people really believe this.
 
2014-08-19 11:16:05 PM  
At least there are no illusions as to which twin is her favorite.
 
2014-08-19 11:16:59 PM  

humanshrapnel: We have an epidemic of scared old white folk. I wonder how that came to be?


Accident: Tyler Maddox (left) and his twin brother (right) were staying with their grandmother, Linda Maddox (center), on Monday night when she mistook him for an intruder and shot him once

i.dailymail.co.uk

/if they're twins, why do you have to blur one of their faces?
 
2014-08-19 11:17:02 PM  

Gyrfalcon: It's his own fault for walking around in his own house at night with the grandmother his parents left him with to keep him safe. A reasonable child would know that when Nana keeps a loaded gun by the bed, you're supposed to cower under the covers all night long, even to wetting the bed, because that way you're SAFE.

Doesn't anyone tell kids anything these days?


Probably eating crackers.
 
2014-08-19 11:18:22 PM  
Golden Girls did it.
 
2014-08-19 11:19:28 PM  

calbert: humanshrapnel: We have an epidemic of scared old white folk. I wonder how that came to be?

Accident: Tyler Maddox (left) and his twin brother (right) were staying with their grandmother, Linda Maddox (center), on Monday night when she mistook him for an intruder and shot him once

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x612]

/if they're twins, why do you have to blur one of their faces?


They didn't. Don't make fun of his birth defect. He's really sensitive about it.
 
2014-08-19 11:20:34 PM  
Important gun safety tip, you never sleep with your gun readily accessible, next to the bed.  You know how you sometimes wake up, and it takes a few seconds to figure out what the hell is going on around you?  You ever do that while being frightened by something your brain is trying to process?  Now add a gun that is in your hand, before your brain is fully alert and thinking clearly, and you have disaster.  You can have it in the bedroom, or in the adjacent closet, or in a gun safe in your room, but never arms reach from where you are asleep.  You need to force yourself to get up and move over to it, in order to buy you time for your head to clear.
 
2014-08-19 11:23:25 PM  

untaken_name: calbert: humanshrapnel: We have an epidemic of scared old white folk. I wonder how that came to be?

Accident: Tyler Maddox (left) and his twin brother (right) were staying with their grandmother, Linda Maddox (center), on Monday night when she mistook him for an intruder and shot him once

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x612]

/if they're twins, why do you have to blur one of their faces?

They didn't. Don't make fun of his birth defect. He's really sensitive about it.


god damn it all.

I laughed.
 
2014-08-19 11:23:47 PM  
And to think. She was a responsible gun owner.

Until now.
 
2014-08-19 11:24:23 PM  

Some Coke Drinking Guy: Important gun safety tip, you never sleep with your gun readily accessible, next to the bed.  You know how you sometimes wake up, and it takes a few seconds to figure out what the hell is going on around you?  You ever do that while being frightened by something your brain is trying to process?  Now add a gun that is in your hand, before your brain is fully alert and thinking clearly, and you have disaster.  You can have it in the bedroom, or in the adjacent closet, or in a gun safe in your room, but never arms reach from where you are asleep.  You need to force yourself to get up and move over to it, in order to buy you time for your head to clear.


Also, don't put it on the nightstand next to your phone. If you get a call in the middle of the night, you might wake up dead.

/it's actually happened
//not to me, of course
///too bad about my wife, though
////she'd have been ok if they hadn't of called back
 
2014-08-19 11:25:09 PM  

calbert: humanshrapnel: We have an epidemic of scared old white folk. I wonder how that came to be?

Accident: Tyler Maddox (left) and his twin brother (right) were staying with their grandmother, Linda Maddox (center), on Monday night when she mistook him for an intruder and shot him once

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x612]

/if they're twins, why do you have to blur one of their faces?


My, she's quite tan for a white person.
 
2014-08-19 11:29:54 PM  
A black kid getting shot by a black person is a nice change of pace.

Refreshing, I must say.
 
2014-08-19 11:31:40 PM  

calbert: humanshrapnel: We have an epidemic of scared old white folk. I wonder how that came to be?

Accident: Tyler Maddox (left) and his twin brother (right) were staying with their grandmother, Linda Maddox (center), on Monday night when she mistook him for an intruder and shot him once

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x612]

/if they're twins, why do you have to blur one of their faces?


img.fark.net
 
2014-08-19 11:46:00 PM  

Guilty_plea_bargain: A black kid getting shot by a black person is a nice change of pace.

Refreshing, I must say.


The odd part is shooting her own family. That's more of a white guy thing.

Even when they go shoot up their workplace or a school, they usually shoot at least a couple of family members first.
 
2014-08-19 11:50:17 PM  

calbert: humanshrapnel: We have an epidemic of scared old white folk. I wonder how that came to be?

Accident: Tyler Maddox (left) and his twin brother (right) were staying with their grandmother, Linda Maddox (center), on Monday night when she mistook him for an intruder and shot him once

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x612]

/if they're twins, why do you have to blur one of their faces?


Are all twins identical?
 
2014-08-19 11:50:45 PM  
Farking old people. How did it even fire. Old black people have guns from the 40's.
/My grandfather use to a have a rusty .38,and use to talk about shooting our friends if they kept talking about his prunes and grapes.
 
2014-08-19 11:53:19 PM  
Headline wins, subby. And if this wasn't the plot to a Madea movie, Tyler Perry better get on with buying the rights.
 
2014-08-19 11:54:37 PM  
NRA is silent.....
 
2014-08-19 11:59:25 PM  
7 yro: Grandma, there's a monster in my closet.

grandma: (bang) Well, if he's there, he ain't happy.

7 yro: That was me, grandma.

FrankandJesse_James: Headline wins, subby. And if this wasn't the plot to a Madea movie, Tyler Perry better get on with buying the rights.


You don't have to buy the rights if you're doing a parody.  Besides, Madea only used a gun on adults, she used belts on the kids.
 
2014-08-20 12:02:10 AM  

cookereh: NRA is silent.....


Wait till there next newsletter when they print her story titled, The Night of the Terrible Toddler: The Midnight Nightmare.

/Of course 7 isn't toddler, but you gotta make the title work.
 
2014-08-20 12:35:04 AM  
What key is that headline in?
 
2014-08-20 12:53:14 AM  
Everyone learned a valuable lesson. And that lesson is...

Guns are educational!
 
2014-08-20 12:57:06 AM  
Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel alright
Got an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night
There's no feeling any greter
Than to shoot first and ask questions later
Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

Well, you can't take my guns away, I got a constitutional right
Yeah, I gotta be ready if the Commies attack us tonight
I'll blow their brains out with my Smith and Wesson
That ought to teach them all a darn good lesson
Now I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

(Oh yeah, I'm)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh baby, I'm)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh I'm so)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away

Oh, I accidently shot daddy last night in the den
I mistook him in the dark for a drug-crazed Nazi again
Now why'd you have to get so mad?
It was just a lousy flesh wound, Dad
You know, I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

Oh, I still haven't figured out the safety on my rifle yet
Little Fluffy took a round, better take him to the vet
I filled that kitty cat so full of lead
We'll have to use him for a pencil instead
Well, I'm so trigger happy, trigger happy every day

(Oh yeah, I'm)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh baby, I'm)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh I'm so)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away

Come on and grab your ammo
What have you got to lose?
We'll all get liquored up
And shoot at anything that moves

Got a brand new semi-automatic weapon with a laser sight
Oh, I'm prayin' somebody tries to break in here tonight
I always keep a Magnum in my trunk
You better ask yourself, do you feel lucky, punk?
Because I'm trigger happy, trigger happy every day

(Oh yeah, I'm)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh baby, I'm)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
(Oh I'm so)trigger, trigger happy
Yes I'm trigger, trigger happy
Better watch out, punk, or I'm gonna have to blow you away
 
2014-08-20 01:00:59 AM  
First thing I thought of after reading the article was "White people problems." But then, firing a gun, in the dark, and you're black..Before Tyler Perry can "steal" the idea, claiming it inspired him, I feel this begs for a Robot Chicken skit.
 
2014-08-20 01:09:49 AM  
Just wondering if he had died, if his grandpa was a carpenter and built houses stores and banks....
 
2014-08-20 01:24:26 AM  

humanshrapnel: We have an epidemic of scared old white folk. I wonder how that came to be?


Curiously, it started off with scared people who were middle aged--hence the invention of the SUV. These scared middle-aged people originated in scared teenagers, the ones who thought the hippies were frightening. Remember, with the Boomers it always comes back to the hippies one way or another and their unresolved teenage angst regarding bared boobies.
 
2014-08-20 01:26:00 AM  

Yaw String: nickdaisy: And this, people, is what happens when you let the gays marry.


[Link][i65.photobucket.com image 400x300]


Did you hear a sound when that went over your head?
 
2014-08-20 01:42:27 AM  

addy2: Yaw String: nickdaisy: And this, people, is what happens when you let the gays marry.


[Link][i65.photobucket.com image 400x300]

Did you hear a sound when that went over your head?


Nope. But if you speak troll or stupid, please feel free to enlighten me.
 
2014-08-20 01:49:37 AM  
I read that Fark headline to the tune of "Gandma got run over by a reindeer". That catchy earworm is present torturing us every Christmas season.
 
2014-08-20 01:54:53 AM  

Yaw String: addy2: Yaw String: nickdaisy: And this, people, is what happens when you let the gays marry.


[Link][i65.photobucket.com image 400x300]

Did you hear a sound when that went over your head?

Nope. But if you speak troll or stupid, please feel free to enlighten me.


Dude; seriously. How could you flat out miss that? Maybe something needs adjusting.
 
2014-08-20 01:55:55 AM  

humanshrapnel: We have an epidemic of scared old white folk. I wonder how that came to be?


Don't look at me, I have a very large penis. (Wanna see? EIP!)


rekabis: I read that Fark headline to the tune of "Gandma got run over by a reindeer".


I was thinking of "Sunshine on my Shoulder" by John Denver.

/No I don't always think of "my penis" and "John Denver" together.
 
2014-08-20 01:56:53 AM  

worlddan: unresolved teenage angst regarding bared boobies.


As shown in my Profile!!
 
2014-08-20 01:58:42 AM  

Dadoody: Got an AK-47, well you know it makes me feel alright
Got an Uzi by my pillow, helps me sleep a little better at night


Too expensive. Hi Point makes great carbines too.
 
2014-08-20 01:59:20 AM  

addy2: Yaw String: addy2: Yaw String: nickdaisy: And this, people, is what happens when you let the gays marry.


[Link][i65.photobucket.com image 400x300]

Did you hear a sound when that went over your head?

Nope. But if you speak troll or stupid, please feel free to enlighten me.

Dude; seriously. How could you flat out miss that? Maybe something needs adjusting.


Seriously,  if I missed some obscure reference, or a good play on words, point me in the right direction.
 
2014-08-20 02:03:47 AM  

Yaw String: addy2: Yaw String: addy2: Yaw String: nickdaisy: And this, people, is what happens when you let the gays marry.


[Link][i65.photobucket.com image 400x300]

Did you hear a sound when that went over your head?

Nope. But if you speak troll or stupid, please feel free to enlighten me.

Dude; seriously. How could you flat out miss that? Maybe something needs adjusting.

Seriously,  if I missed some obscure reference, or a good play on words, point me in the right direction.


It wouldn't be funny if I had to explain it. Just trust me. It's not a new line. It's older than Don Rickles.
 
2014-08-20 02:06:07 AM  

Gyrfalcon: calbert: humanshrapnel: We have an epidemic of scared old white folk. I wonder how that came to be?

Accident: Tyler Maddox (left) and his twin brother (right) were staying with their grandmother, Linda Maddox (center), on Monday night when she mistook him for an intruder and shot him once

[i.dailymail.co.uk image 634x612]

/if they're twins, why do you have to blur one of their faces?

My, she's quite tan for a white person.



Guilty_plea_bargain: A black kid getting shot by a black person is a nice change of pace.

Refreshing, I must say.


Wait, you mean non-whites are allowed to own firearms these days? Or was Granny a "gang-banger?"


/ See? You can be a snarky asshole without rape jokes.
 
2014-08-20 02:09:18 AM  

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: Everyone learned a valuable lesson. And that lesson is...

Guns are educational!


The ex's dog is named Nina. Short for The Goddess.
 
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