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(The News Nerd)   Former NBA star Allen Iverson has one question for you, "Brother, can you spare a dime?"   (thenewsnerd.com) divider line 94
    More: Satire  
•       •       •

4377 clicks; posted to Sports » on 19 Aug 2014 at 2:43 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



94 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-19 12:08:04 PM  
Maybe he's just practicing his technique.
 
2014-08-19 12:11:20 PM  
I guess it was his money to spend how he wanted.
 
2014-08-19 01:05:03 PM  
Please amend Satire tag.  Thanks.
 
2014-08-19 01:57:05 PM  
Practice.....we're talking about practice
 
2014-08-19 02:55:08 PM  
"He hopes to one day re-join the 76ers with an office position."  Good luck with that.
 
2014-08-19 02:55:27 PM  
I don't even know what to say.  Am I supposed to feel sorry for him?  Upset at society?  Am I supposed to be glad that he got what he deserved for blowing through his money?  I don't even know....

If this is as true as it appears, it should be on every locker room bulletin board.
 
2014-08-19 02:56:01 PM  
He should go hit up Aaron McKie, Iverson made that cat about 30% more money during the '00-01 season than he would have made otherwise.
 
2014-08-19 02:57:09 PM  
"...he does have a $30 million trust with Reebok, which he cannot access until he is 55-years-old."

♪  Call JG Wentworth ♪
 
2014-08-19 02:57:27 PM  
Fark, please don't help perpetuate internet stupidity.  Label satire as satire.

http://thedailybanter.com/2014/04/this-website-tricked-dumb-people-w it h-fake-news-and-is-making-money-doing-it/
 
2014-08-19 02:57:50 PM  
Well, there's this.

http://www.inquisitr.com/1420954/was-allen-iverson-really-spotted-be gg ing-for-change-outside-an-atlanta-mall/

Not that anyone's interested in finding out he's not broke.
 
2014-08-19 02:58:32 PM  
I wish I had the opportunity to piss away $154 million.
 
2014-08-19 02:58:58 PM  
200 million spent in what a decade........
 
2014-08-19 03:00:23 PM  

IAmRight: Well, there's this.

http://www.inquisitr.com/1420954/was-allen-iverson-really-spotted-be gg ing-for-change-outside-an-atlanta-mall/

Not that anyone's interested in finding out he's not broke.


Hey, can I retract my post? Huh, can I, can I?
 
2014-08-19 03:01:00 PM  
, Iverson told an Atlanta judge, "I don't even have money for a cheeseburger," while turning his pockets inside out.


img.fark.net
 
2014-08-19 03:05:22 PM  

IAmRight: Well, there's this.

http://www.inquisitr.com/1420954/was-allen-iverson-really-spotted-be gg ing-for-change-outside-an-atlanta-mall/

Not that anyone's interested in finding out he's not broke.


Wow, we're really burring the line between satire and libel these days.
 
2014-08-19 03:06:07 PM  
He hopes to one day re-join the 76ers with an office position

We're sitting here, and I'm supposed to be the Assistant to the Travelling Secretary, and we're talking about TPS Reports?  Not the itinerary that I go out there and scour Expedia for and google map shiat like it's my last, but we're talking about TPS Reports?
 
2014-08-19 03:08:14 PM  
Plenty of jobs out there, you just have to lower your standards.

Go apply at Foot Locker, you can probably get a discount on some sweet kicks once you're hired.
 
2014-08-19 03:19:30 PM  

relaxitsjustme: "...he does have a $30 million trust with Reebok, which he cannot access until he is 55-years-old."

♪  Call JG Wentworth ♪


Why....WHY?  Why did you have to go and do that......now that farking jingle is going to be with me for the rest of the day....dammit
 
2014-08-19 03:25:00 PM  
And the lesson from this is : When you're told to start off the bench, YOU FARKING START OFF THE BENCH. Don't talk about your all-star appearances or MVPs. Start. Off. The. Bench.
 
2014-08-19 03:27:15 PM  
O.K.....is this story real or a hoax?
 
2014-08-19 03:35:23 PM  
please subby, why would Iverson ask anyone to spare him a dime, he was such a ball-hog, assist was no in his vocabulary (just like practice)
 
2014-08-19 03:37:05 PM  
Hoax.
 
2014-08-19 03:40:10 PM  

relaxitsjustme: "...he does have a $30 million trust with Reebok, which he cannot access until he is 55-years-old."

♪  Call JG Wentworth ♪


Need ear bleach to kill this worm. Also, I hate you and your feet stink.
 
2014-08-19 03:40:40 PM  

Hyjamon: he was such a ball-hog, assist was no in his vocabulary (just like practice)


a) top 50 all-time in assists
b) who did you want him to pass to?
c) practice sure seemed to be in his vocabulary; he used the word a lot.
 
2014-08-19 03:43:23 PM  
Crewmannumber6:Wow, we're really burring the line between satire and libel these days.

Seriously. Where's the social commentary? What's the joke? my favorite website lies are not satire.

/ Neither is PFM, but for a different reason.
 
IP
2014-08-19 03:43:25 PM  
Shenanigans.
 
2014-08-19 03:47:42 PM  
Very funny Drew.

/ "the thing you do with a mouse button" bait filters to "my favorite website".
 
2014-08-19 03:48:11 PM  
The article is obviously fake, but I wonder how many lines of credit he has with that trust as collateral.
 
2014-08-19 03:48:39 PM  
Couple things: 

1.  I thought satire was supposed to be funny.
2.  Totally would have bought it as true, because this stuff happens to athletes all the time.  If you haven't yet, watch ESPN 30 for 30 - Broke.  It's fascinating and very sad.
3.  As other commenters have alluded to, there seems like there should be some barrier between satire and blatantly making up shiat about another person without qualifying your statements as fictional or something.  Where is that line?
 
2014-08-19 03:48:59 PM  
He needed tree-fitty.

Tree-fitty.
 
2014-08-19 03:58:22 PM  
The "entertainment purposes only" line at the very bottom of the website is ridiculously small and hard to see. Nobody ever reads the copyright at the bottom of websites.
 
2014-08-19 04:00:11 PM  
Totally bought that. Never even heard of that site before.
 
2014-08-19 04:02:55 PM  
GleeUnit:

1.  I thought satire was supposed to be funny.

Nope - you're thinking of parody. "Animal Farm" and "A Modest Proposal" are classic examples of satire, but nobody ever considered them to be a laugh riot.
 
2014-08-19 04:04:46 PM  

puckrock2000: GleeUnit:

1.  I thought satire was supposed to be funny.

Nope - you're thinking of parody. "Animal Farm" and "A Modest Proposal" are classic examples of satire, but nobody ever considered them to be a laugh riot.


Well, it's also supposed to make a point, but there's none of that in here. Except that people LOVE hearing about flashy black people losing all their money.
 
2014-08-19 04:05:05 PM  
Seeing how Iverson was well known in Detroit (when he played there) for cashing his paychecks at the Motor City Casino and dropping tens of thousands on the roulette wheel, this story would not surprise me one bit if it had a shred of truth in it.

He should be a case study in NBA rookie classes for how NOT to manage your career. i've never seen a player go from relatively well liked and respected to complete pariah as quickly as you can say "practice."
 
2014-08-19 04:06:05 PM  

puckrock2000: GleeUnit:1. I thought satire was supposed to be funny.Nope - you're thinking of parody. "Animal Farm" and "A Modest Proposal" are classic examples of satire, but nobody ever considered them to be a laugh riot


No parody is what allows all the teams to compete on the same level.  You are thinking of a farce.
 
2014-08-19 04:07:04 PM  

www.thenewsnerd.com


"I don't even have money for a cheeseburger," said Iverson.


img.fark.net

 
2014-08-19 04:12:33 PM  

IAmRight: Hyjamon: he was such a ball-hog, assist was no in his vocabulary (just like practice)

a) top 50 all-time in assists
b) who did you want him to pass to?
c) practice sure seemed to be in his vocabulary; he used the word a lot.


not sure where I am going with this, but I have you farkied as "no stats matter/good fans are suckers"...I am sure it came from the finals or semi-finals threads but it makes your #1 point kinda funny.

also, according to career per game ranking, he is surrounded by some awesome names

44  Fat Lever          6.24   4,696   11   752
45  Allen Iverson     6.15   5,624  14   914
46  Nate McMillan   6.15   4,893   12   796
47  Brevin Knight   6.15    4,481   12   729
48  Slick Watts       6.13    2,678   6     437

I was more working off of my memories of him at G-Town, he would drop 50 but they would still lose, but as long as he got his, f' it.

Maybe he could get on the And1 tour for some work.
 
2014-08-19 04:14:34 PM  

Zik-Zak: relaxitsjustme: "...he does have a $30 million trust with Reebok, which he cannot access until he is 55-years-old."

♪  Call JG Wentworth ♪

Need ear bleach to kill this worm. Also, I hate you and your feet stink.


Please. Best Jingle on TV. Love that opera ad.

/almost makes up for being a scummy company
 
2014-08-19 04:15:27 PM  
also, didn't they make him a statue in China or some other Asian country/league?
 
2014-08-19 04:18:37 PM  

Hyjamon: IAmRight: Hyjamon: he was such a ball-hog, assist was no in his vocabulary (just like practice)

a) top 50 all-time in assists
b) who did you want him to pass to?
c) practice sure seemed to be in his vocabulary; he used the word a lot.

not sure where I am going with this, but I have you farkied as "no stats matter/good fans are suckers"...I am sure it came from the finals or semi-finals threads but it makes your #1 point kinda funny.

also, according to career per game ranking, he is surrounded by some awesome names

44  Fat Lever          6.24   4,696   11   752
45  Allen Iverson     6.15   5,624  14   914
46  Nate McMillan   6.15   4,893   12   796
47  Brevin Knight   6.15    4,481   12   729
48  Slick Watts       6.13    2,678   6     437

I was more working off of my memories of him at G-Town, he would drop 50 but they would still lose, but as long as he got his, f' it.

Maybe he could get on the And1 tour for some work.


Just because you've never heard of Fat Lever, Nate McMillan and Slick Watts doesn't mean they weren't good. People of my generation know them well.
 
2014-08-19 04:24:09 PM  
OK, once again, all together for AI haters:

The day of his "practice" quote his friend had just died and he had no idea what the press conference was about. He was talking about missing practice to mourn his friend. As the MVP of the league, is it the worst thing in the world that he take a day off from practice to mourn the death of a close friend?
 
2014-08-19 04:30:18 PM  

Super Chronic: Just because you've never heard of Fat Lever, Nate McMillan and Slick Watts doesn't mean they weren't good. People of my generation know them well.


I will admit I am not familiar with their careers and never watched them play (McMillan sounds familiar) but they are still awesome names, wasn't commenting on their skills.
 
2014-08-19 04:31:40 PM  

aintnuttintofarkwith: OK, once again, all together for AI haters:

The day of his "practice" quote his friend had just died and he had no idea what the press conference was about. He was talking about missing practice to mourn his friend. As the MVP of the league, is it the worst thing in the world that he take a day off from practice to mourn the death of a close friend?


according to some bosses/teachers I have had...yes.
 
2014-08-19 04:31:50 PM  

Super Chronic: Hyjamon:  he is surrounded by some awesome names

44  Fat Lever          6.24   4,696   11   752
45  Allen Iverson     6.15   5,624  14   914
46  Nate McMillan   6.15   4,893   12   796
47  Brevin Knight   6.15    4,481   12   729
48  Slick Watts       6.13    2,678   6     437

Just because you've never heard of Fat Lever, Nate McMillan and Slick Watts doesn't mean they weren't good. People of my generation know them well.


I took him to mean that Brevin Knight, Slick Wats, and Fat Lever are awesome names. Which they are. Not unlike Chauncey Billups or Mo Cheeks. The goodness of the player attached to that name is irrelevant, the names themselves are awesome.
 
2014-08-19 04:31:56 PM  

puckrock2000: GleeUnit:

1.  I thought satire was supposed to be funny.

Nope - you're thinking of parody. "Animal Farm" and "A Modest Proposal" are classic examples of satire, but nobody ever considered them to be a laugh riot.


A Modest Proposal? Yes. Animal Farm? That was an allegory of the early part of Soviet history. George Orwell meant every word he wrote.
 
2014-08-19 04:32:25 PM  
Cheeseburgers?

37.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-19 04:34:54 PM  

dallylamma: Cheeseburgers?

[37.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]


JR's fallen on some hard times.

/BAH GAWD OFFICER, A MAN'S GOT TO EAT
 
2014-08-19 04:36:35 PM  

robertus: dallylamma: Cheeseburgers?

[37.media.tumblr.com image 500x375]

JR's fallen on some hard times.

/BAH GAWD OFFICER, A MAN'S GOT TO EAT


AS GOD AS MY WITNESS, I HAVE BEEN TORN IN HALF!
 
2014-08-19 04:39:08 PM  

Hyjamon: Super Chronic: Just because you've never heard of Fat Lever, Nate McMillan and Slick Watts doesn't mean they weren't good. People of my generation know them well.

I will admit I am not familiar with their careers and never watched them play (McMillan sounds familiar) but they are still awesome names, wasn't commenting on their skills.


Oh. I thought you were being sarcastic (pointing out that Iverson was in the middle of a bunch of unknowns, ergo he couldn't have been that good). My bad.

As a Seattle SuperChronics fan, McMillan and Watts were near and dear to my heart. McMillan later became the head coach of Seattle and Portland.

Lever was a bit of a flash in the pan but was fantastic for Denver for a couple of years. From 1986 through 1989, he was probably one of the very best roto players in the entire NBA, along with Jordan, Malone, Barkley, Bird and maybe a couple of others (that is, for those unusual folks who were playing roto basketball back then). I can't think of too many players who have been in the top ten in the league in both assists and rebounds (and also scored close to 20 ppg), but Lever did it.
 
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