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(Contact Music)   Uh, this was voted the funniest joke at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Really   (contactmusic.com) divider line 71
    More: Amusing  
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6272 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 19 Aug 2014 at 2:27 PM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-08-19 10:25:51 AM  
www.morethings.com
 
2014-08-19 10:39:10 AM  
"I decided to sell my Hoover... well it was just collecting dust."

Well, that sucks.
 
2014-08-19 10:50:03 AM  
Damn that's good.
 
2014-08-19 11:07:19 AM  
Well Brits don't actually tell jokes that you laugh at, you just say "Well that's clever. I guess. Bravo, then."
 
2014-08-19 11:44:08 AM  
My fav:

The Irish invented whisky and gave it to the Scots, who took it and brought it to perfection.
The Irish invented the kilt and gave it to the Scots, who took it and made it a national symbol.
The Irish invented the bagpipes and and gave it to the Scots, who still didn't get the joke.
 
2014-08-19 11:45:46 AM  
It's a dry humor.
 
2014-08-19 12:00:12 PM  

brap: It's a dry humor.


I prefer my humor vitreous.
 
2014-08-19 12:00:22 PM  
iwanticewater.files.wordpress.com

The jokes probably seemed funnier while on acid.
 
2014-08-19 12:55:35 PM  
Can't. Stop. Laughing.

Might as well go home. Not getting any work done today.
 
2014-08-19 01:01:07 PM  
well, it was funny
 
2014-08-19 02:32:45 PM  
img4.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-08-19 02:33:30 PM  
not even a smirk.
 
2014-08-19 02:34:48 PM  
Performing live at the Fringe Festival

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-19 02:35:09 PM  

RexTalionis: brap: It's a dry humor.

I prefer my humor vitreous.


People who live in glass houses shouldn't tell jokes.
 
2014-08-19 02:35:36 PM  
Oh... I get it...
 
2014-08-19 02:37:21 PM  

Mikey1969: Performing live at the Fringe Festival

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 344x581]


that's a bit funnier than the hoover joke, too bad they don't accept jpegs.

/gorram metric system
 
2014-08-19 02:44:15 PM  
According to Freud, what comes between fear and sex?

Funf.
 
2014-08-19 02:45:39 PM  
"Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief" - Mark Watson.

I lol'd.
 
2014-08-19 02:51:48 PM  
Carry on then.
 
2014-08-19 02:53:59 PM  

Sybarite: [www.morethings.com image 698x480]


Terrible.
 
2014-08-19 02:56:27 PM  
In other news, the Edinburgh Fringe Festival is almost entirely unfunny.
 
2014-08-19 03:01:06 PM  

Billy Liar: According to Freud, what comes between fear and sex?

Funf.


Won't lie - I chorttled.
 
2014-08-19 03:03:20 PM  

RexTalionis: brap: It's a dry humor.

I prefer my humor vitreous.


Eye see what you did there.
 
2014-08-19 03:06:02 PM  
These are horrible every year.
 
2014-08-19 03:09:15 PM  

MrBallou: My fav:

The Irish invented whisky and gave it to the Scots, who took it and brought it to perfection.
The Irish invented the kilt and gave it to the Scots, who took it and made it a national symbol.
The Irish invented the bagpipes and and gave it to the Scots, who still didn't get the joke.


img.fark.net

Got to use this TWICE today!
 
2014-08-19 03:13:55 PM  

And I've just finished my milk: "Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief" - Mark Watson.

I lol'd.


I liked that one. There were 5 or 6 others that were kinda funny, and almost the whole list was better than the farking winner.
 
2014-08-19 03:25:56 PM  

Sybarite: [www.morethings.com image 698x480]


My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Awful.
 
2014-08-19 03:27:43 PM  
 
2014-08-19 03:30:32 PM  
how do you get a octopus to laugh?

sǝlʞɔᴉʇ uǝʇ


/sorry for both the joke & the horrible text.
 
2014-08-19 03:31:32 PM  

laughin: Sybarite: [www.morethings.com image 698x480]

My dog has no nose.
How does he smell?
Awful.


You know why humans can't hear a Dog Whistle?


cuz dogs can't whistle.
 
2014-08-19 03:38:23 PM  

Billy Liar: According to Freud, what comes between fear and sex?

Funf.


That there is a heil class joke
 
IP
2014-08-19 03:45:04 PM  
He'll be here all week...
 
2014-08-19 03:51:48 PM  

LewDux: "Are you a sardine?"
Link Link


I came in to point out that the "uncle lost his job as" joke was ripped off from Comedy Vehicle. He'll get some mileage out of that.
 
2014-08-19 04:24:06 PM  
I'm dying over here
 
2014-08-19 04:35:57 PM  
Knock knock.

Who's there?

To.

To who?

No, to whom.
 
2014-08-19 04:36:53 PM  
What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
 
2014-08-19 04:43:39 PM  

bingo the psych-o: What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?


Someone's posting from the bathroom...
 
2014-08-19 04:49:10 PM  
I still get mileage out of the interuptting cow knock knock joke.

Classic.
 
2014-08-19 04:52:11 PM  

Billy Liar: According to Freud, what comes between fear and sex?

Funf.


I... like that a lot.
 
2014-08-19 05:07:45 PM  
You better watch out when you start a joke - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=donGdHfbl4A
 
2014-08-19 05:26:46 PM  
Heard this from Norm Macdonald:

Kid finds a welding mask in a dumpster, puts it on, runs around his neighborhood wearing it. A pedophile pulls up to him and says "Hey kid, how 'bout giving me a blowjob?" Kid says "No way!". Pedophile says, "well how 'bout I give you a blowjob?" Kid says "Hell, no!!". Pedophile says, "Alright, well, should I just bang you in the  ass or vice versa or what?" Kid says, "oh, wait--I get it, I see the problem. Ha ha, I'm sorry sir, but I'm not actually a welder."

Tee hee!
 
2014-08-19 06:12:13 PM  
Then I said "DIE HERETIC!" and pushed him off the bridge.
 
2014-08-19 06:13:30 PM  
OK, but I'm almost out of arrows...
 
2014-08-19 06:14:30 PM  
There is a silence, then a gunshot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
 
2014-08-19 07:01:40 PM  

bingo the psych-o: Knock knock.

Who's there?

To.

To who?

No, to whom.


Instead of Grammar Nazi joke, how about a Nazi Nazi joke?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Poland.

Not for long.
 
2014-08-19 07:02:04 PM  
Better not, that dog will bite you.
 
2014-08-19 07:03:55 PM  
A skeleton walks into a bar. "Bartender," he says, "give me a beer. And a mop."
 
2014-08-19 07:18:13 PM  
"An Irishman walks out of a bar."
 
2014-08-19 07:36:29 PM  

Billy Liar: According to Freud, what comes between fear and sex?

Funf.


I don't get it. :-(
 
2014-08-19 07:42:18 PM  
eins zwei drei vier funf sechs sieben acht neun zehn.
 
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