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(io9)   Thirteen of the most pointless action figures ever made. Come for Grandpa and Grandma Walton, stay for Roseanne Roseannadanna   (io9.com) divider line 69
    More: Fail, April O'Neil, Gilda Radner, Jake Sully, toy stores, John Goodman, TMNT  
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4833 clicks; posted to Geek » on 18 Aug 2014 at 9:28 PM (45 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



69 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-18 08:23:36 PM  
I can definitely understand the Jake Sully figure. Perhaps something for disabled consumers, who previously probably only had Professor X. Also quite possibly to avoid bad press from disability organizations on why they didn't.

Also this

0.media.dorkly.cvcdn.com
 
2014-08-18 08:41:42 PM  
Doing a Grandma and Grandpa Walton sexual positions photo shoot would be fun.

\if you're into that sort of thing
 
2014-08-18 09:28:28 PM  
I would enjoy having a slave Cordelia

Oh it's just a doll?
Um, errr oh who am I kidding I'm still in
 
2014-08-18 09:33:22 PM  

NuttierThanEver: I would enjoy having a slave Cordelia

Oh it's just a doll?
Um, errr oh who am I kidding I'm still in


And now we know Kwame's alt
 
2014-08-18 09:45:02 PM  
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-18 09:52:12 PM  
Done in one.

There are some threads we don't even need to have.
 
2014-08-18 10:02:08 PM  
Many of these were clearly released as fan collectibles instead of child toys. Shouldn't even be in a list like this.

And the ones that actually were child toys still had their place... never underestimate the imagination of a child. I was too old for TMNT toys, but I could see April's boss being a kidnapping victim for Shredder/rescue mission for the Turtles.

And I actually wanted an Imperial Dignitary figure. Mainly because I used to "reassign" various Star Wars, G.I.Joe, and other assorted 3-3/4" figures into my own universes... I used to get a lot of mileage out of the original Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Emperor figures as various political leaders. (also, putting Squid Head's cape on the AT-ST driver made for an awesome general)
 
2014-08-18 10:15:10 PM  

fisker: [31.media.tumblr.com image 374x400]


Are those the official Pride Parade action figures?
 
2014-08-18 10:16:16 PM  
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2014-08-18 10:16:41 PM  

ArkAngel: I can definitely understand the Jake Sully figure. Perhaps something for disabled consumers, who previously probably only had Professor X. Also quite possibly to avoid bad press from disability organizations on why they didn't.

Also this

[0.media.dorkly.cvcdn.com image 600x465]


Those are quite possibly the funniest things I've ever seen. They would do no good without the Moisture Farm playset...
 
2014-08-18 10:17:00 PM  
I must be in the Twillight Zone because i've just heard about Roseanne Roseannadanna for the first time in my life, today, and it was twice, 2 separate incidents....

Earlier today i was wikipeding Gilda Radner (don't even remember why, but there was a reason for it).
 
2014-08-18 10:21:22 PM  

NeoCortex42: [ecx.images-amazon.com image 500x376]


That wasn't pointless, it was awesome. For one, it was made purely for the fans. Second, it's origin makes an awesome story.

And I'd buy a Rosanne Rosannadanna doll if it didn't look like a young Keith Richards being fed into a wood chipper while watching Twilight.

I'd also buy an Ernestine the Telephone Operator doll if they put a chip in it that said "One, ringy dingy. Two, ringy dingy.".
 
2014-08-18 10:21:22 PM  
comiccoverage.typepad.com

I mean, out of all the characters that they could've showed using it, they picked Supes.

/the concept of that just makes me giggle every time I see it.
 
2014-08-18 10:23:27 PM  
I'll admit, the Rocky sides-of-beef "action figure" did get a guffaw from me.
 
2014-08-18 10:25:31 PM  
My wife wanted to start collecting action figures. I think I know just the one to get her started.

media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2014-08-18 10:25:46 PM  

calbert: [comiccoverage.typepad.com image 412x400]

I mean, out of all the characters that they could've showed using it, they picked Supes.

/the concept of that just makes me giggle every time I see it.


Heh, but would it be any less ridiculous with Lantern? Batman? Flash? I'm pretty sure the only superhero from any publisher who could benefit from that is Professor X...
 
2014-08-18 10:32:10 PM  

clkeagle: calbert: [comiccoverage.typepad.com image 412x400]

I mean, out of all the characters that they could've showed using it, they picked Supes.

/the concept of that just makes me giggle every time I see it.

Heh, but would it be any less ridiculous with Lantern? Batman? Flash? I'm pretty sure the only superhero from any publisher who could benefit from that is Professor X...


Oracle?
 
2014-08-18 10:32:17 PM  
I have one.


Here is my Invisible Man action figure.
 
2014-08-18 10:32:59 PM  

calbert: [comiccoverage.typepad.com image 412x400]

I mean, out of all the characters that they could've showed using it, they picked Supes.

/the concept of that just makes me giggle every time I see it.


And here, kids, is where childhood obesity started!
 
2014-08-18 10:33:18 PM  

ArkAngel: Also this

[0.media.dorkly.cvcdn.com image 600x465]


Glad to see this was the very Boobies.
 
2014-08-18 10:37:43 PM  

clkeagle: calbert: [comiccoverage.typepad.com image 412x400]

I mean, out of all the characters that they could've showed using it, they picked Supes.

/the concept of that just makes me giggle every time I see it.

Heh, but would it be any less ridiculous with Lantern? Batman? Flash? I'm pretty sure the only superhero from any publisher who could benefit from that is Professor X...


If they can fly as a part of their superpower? It's pretty ridiculous. Hell, I bet even Flash's feet get sore sometimes, but Superman can farking fly! It would actually be MORE ridiculous for Lantern though, since he  not only can fly, but he could MAKE something that did exactly this. So I'd say Lantern takes the top spot, followed by Superman.
 
2014-08-18 10:42:46 PM  
i309.photobucket.com i309.photobucket.com i309.photobucket.com


onceuponageek.com
 
2014-08-18 10:43:03 PM  

NeoCortex42: clkeagle: calbert: [comiccoverage.typepad.com image 412x400]
I mean, out of all the characters that they could've showed using it, they picked Supes.
/the concept of that just makes me giggle every time I see it.
Heh, but would it be any less ridiculous with Lantern? Batman? Flash? I'm pretty sure the only superhero from any publisher who could benefit from that is Professor X...

Oracle?


Nope. Barbara was still Batgirl when those toys were released. :)

Mikey1969: If they can fly as a part of their superpower? It's pretty ridiculous. Hell, I bet even Flash's feet get sore sometimes, but Superman can farking fly! It would actually be MORE ridiculous for Lantern though, since he  not only can fly, but he could MAKE something that did exactly this. So I'd say Lantern takes the top spot, followed by Superman.


You might be onto something there. Imaginext loves to re-use their vehicle tools... they should release translucent green versions of some of their cars and walkers and aircraft to be Lantern creations.
 
2014-08-18 10:52:51 PM  

clkeagle: NeoCortex42: clkeagle: calbert: [comiccoverage.typepad.com image 412x400]
I mean, out of all the characters that they could've showed using it, they picked Supes.
/the concept of that just makes me giggle every time I see it.
Heh, but would it be any less ridiculous with Lantern? Batman? Flash? I'm pretty sure the only superhero from any publisher who could benefit from that is Professor X...

Oracle?


Nope. Barbara was still Batgirl when those toys were released. :)


Since when has DC cared about continuity?  Another anachronistic option, how about Jason Todd circa 1990?

After a brief search online for disabled superheros, I'm pretty sure "blind" is covered pretty well at this point.  Damn, there's a lot of blind superheroes.
 
2014-08-18 10:53:57 PM  
www.collectiondx.com
So very pointless.  The head turned, and the "ankle wings" could move.  It also couldn't stand up on its own.

While it has more "action" than the monolith toy, at least the monolith could be something useful, such as a stand-in for a table, unlike Maximillian here.
 
2014-08-18 10:57:39 PM  

TheOther: [i309.photobucket.com image 300x169] [i309.photobucket.com image 300x169] [i309.photobucket.com image 300x169]


[onceuponageek.com image 850x420]


Can't. Stop. Watching. Gorillas...

clkeagle: Imaginext loves to re-use their vehicle tools... they should release translucent green versions of some of their cars and walkers and aircraft to be Lantern creations.


I should get a royalty though...
 
2014-08-18 10:59:27 PM  

clkeagle: calbert: [comiccoverage.typepad.com image 412x400]

I mean, out of all the characters that they could've showed using it, they picked Supes.

/the concept of that just makes me giggle every time I see it.

Heh, but would it be any less ridiculous with Lantern? Batman? Flash? I'm pretty sure the only superhero from any publisher who could benefit from that is Professor X...


The Question?
 
2014-08-18 11:04:24 PM  

T.rex: Earlier today i was wikipeding Gilda Radner (don't even remember why, but there was a reason for it).


She was married to Gene Wilder, co-star of one of the greatest comedies of all time:

electronmagazine.com

"A man drinks like that and he don't eat, he will die!"

"When?"


/"You got to remember that these are simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new west. You know... morons."
 
2014-08-18 11:40:26 PM  
I assume the Gonk droid made the first list.

Nothing wrong with making figures of the bosses and ancillary characters.

Surprised to see no He-man characters on this list.
 
2014-08-19 12:00:19 AM  
How about a talking Rosie O'donnell doll?
flavorwire.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-19 12:00:43 AM  
Don't make me defend the Sugar Man action figure. Because I will. And I'll hate myself for it.
 
2014-08-19 12:01:56 AM  

Bareefer Obonghit: Don't make me defend the Sugar Man action figure. Because I will. And I'll hate myself for it.


Doooo  eeetttt.
 
2014-08-19 12:36:10 AM  
List fails without  My Dinner With Andre.
 
2014-08-19 12:53:04 AM  
ts1.mm.bing.net

This is the only thing close to an action figure I ever had.
Churchy La Femme, straight outta motherfarkin' Pogo!
(I think I still have it somewhere.)
 
2014-08-19 01:40:14 AM  
If I had these grwoing up, I would have made jake sully battle grandma walton. Chopper would battle Imperial Dignitary.
 
2014-08-19 02:30:23 AM  

TheOther: [i309.photobucket.com image 300x169] [i309.photobucket.com image 300x169] [i309.photobucket.com image 300x169]


[onceuponageek.com image 850x420]


WTF
 
2014-08-19 02:40:43 AM  

NuttierThanEver: I would enjoy having a slave Cordelia

Oh it's just a doll?
Um, errr oh who am I kidding I'm still in


Did they make a Pylean Princess Cordy figure?

I'm asking for...a friend.

/will now go do the dance of shame
 
2014-08-19 03:36:36 AM  
I have two of those. MINT. ON. CARD.
 
2014-08-19 03:48:18 AM  
Anti-virus Batman might be from the Contagion storyline, i dont remember exactly how it ended, if he went around spraying everybody with the clench cure, but i also dont feel like digging through books right now. Contagion did take place between one of the worst and one of the best Batman storylines...
 
mhd
2014-08-19 04:49:26 AM  
i.imgur.com

I think I just blue myself.
 
2014-08-19 06:11:00 AM  
Why do I get the feeling lists like this will overlap quite significantly with "rarest and most expensive action figures" in 50+ years because almost no one bought them?
 
2014-08-19 06:28:26 AM  

mhd: [i.imgur.com image 400x501]

I think I just blue myself.


Cool, it's 'Roidy Smurf!
 
2014-08-19 06:58:14 AM  

fisker: [31.media.tumblr.com image 374x400]


img.fark.net

That's what I imagine Skeletor would look like with skin on.
 
2014-08-19 08:21:51 AM  
survivalistgearhead.com
 
2014-08-19 08:29:31 AM  

Fano: I assume the Gonk droid made the first list.


Oh, please. The Gonk droid was surprisingly useful as a mini battle tank, slapstick character or Generic Droid Stand-in, and the ratchet mechanism for the legs had a really cool sound.
 
2014-08-19 08:36:27 AM  
Of all the simple childhood pleasures ruined by the refusal of the Baby Boom generation to step aside, the
ruining of the action figure market is possibly the most heinous.
 
2014-08-19 09:05:48 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-19 10:26:46 AM  

clkeagle: Many of these were clearly released as fan collectibles instead of child toys. Shouldn't even be in a list like this.

And the ones that actually were child toys still had their place... never underestimate the imagination of a child. I was too old for TMNT toys, but I could see April's boss being a kidnapping victim for Shredder/rescue mission for the Turtles.


I had the figure and that is precisely what I used it for, well that and for setting up the story before getting to throwing my figures at each other to make them fight.

NeoCortex42: clkeagle: calbert: [comiccoverage.typepad.com image 412x400]

clkeagle: calbert: [comiccoverage.typepad.com image 412x400]

I mean, out of all the characters that they could've showed using it, they picked Supes.

/the concept of that just makes me giggle every time I see it.

Heh, but would it be any less ridiculous with Lantern? Batman? Flash? I'm pretty sure the only superhero from any publisher who could benefit from that is Professor X...



They should have used Fat Flash.

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-19 10:34:28 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: Of all the simple childhood pleasures ruined by the refusal of the Baby Boom generation to step aside, the
ruining of the action figure market is possibly the most heinous.


Ruining how?

/shiatloads of figures
 
2014-08-19 10:36:03 AM  

Psylence: DjangoStonereaver: Of all the simple childhood pleasures ruined by the refusal of the Baby Boom generation to step aside, the
ruining of the action figure market is possibly the most heinous.

Ruining how?

/shiatloads of figures


There is nothing more depressing to me than seeing an unopened toy that will never, ever be played
with.

But that's just my opinion.
 
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