If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(WWLTV New Orleans)   Heroin-using couple arrested after passing out in car after shooting up. Overheard muttering, "I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling kids. In the back seat"   (wwltv.com) divider line 28
    More: Dumbass  
•       •       •

2869 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Aug 2014 at 1:23 PM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-18 11:24:11 AM  
What exactly was the heroin using the couple for?

/yes that's a dangling preposition
//get the f over it
 
2014-08-18 12:24:00 PM  
How much is a feet feet?
 
2014-08-18 12:25:48 PM  
The couple was found passed out in their car with their kids just a feet feet away.

Does anyone even bother to glance over these articles before they're published?
 
2014-08-18 01:15:05 PM  
She never made it past the bedroom door
What was she aiming for
Gone shootin'
She's gone
Gone gone gone

Gone shootin'
My baby's gone shootin'
 
2014-08-18 01:27:13 PM  
I never understood opiate abuse. You spend a lot of money and then most people invariably misjudge the quantity/quality and wind up sleeping through the whole thing. That's why I am glad I have a script for medical meth.
 
2014-08-18 01:28:28 PM  
Well, at least it was their own car. I hope.
 
2014-08-18 01:29:24 PM  
Good gods, what a horribly-written news story. So many proofreading and grammar fails, it makes my head hurt.
 
2014-08-18 01:30:25 PM  
Personality, I mean that's what counts, right? That's what keeps a relationship going through the years. Like heroin, I mean heroin's got a great farking personality.
 
2014-08-18 01:31:22 PM  
How the hell does a pair of nodders come up with $200 every day?  That's over 70 grand a year after taxes just for drugs.  I know the standard answer is, "They steal."  But they'd have to be pretty damn good at stealing to get away with it for a long time.  What does one get from robbing the Kwik-E-Mart?  A hundie?  Or rob a house but then you need to have a vehicle capable of hauling away a decent amount of stuff then you need to convert the loot to cash.  So either you have to find a fence and get maybe 5% of the value or you spend a ton of time on craigslist.  But then you need space to store the loot until it's sold.  And you'd have to be doing this pretty much constantly to keep the money flowing.  Doing it without getting caught.  It just doesn't seem like a pair like this would be capable of pulling it off.
 
2014-08-18 01:33:52 PM  

jtown: How the hell does a pair of nodders come up with $200 every day?  That's over 70 grand a year after taxes just for drugs.  I know the standard answer is, "They steal."  But they'd have to be pretty damn good at stealing to get away with it for a long time.  What does one get from robbing the Kwik-E-Mart?  A hundie?  Or rob a house but then you need to have a vehicle capable of hauling away a decent amount of stuff then you need to convert the loot to cash.  So either you have to find a fence and get maybe 5% of the value or you spend a ton of time on craigslist.  But then you need space to store the loot until it's sold.  And you'd have to be doing this pretty much constantly to keep the money flowing.  Doing it without getting caught.  It just doesn't seem like a pair like this would be capable of pulling it off.


Cop math, maybe?

I heard H was much cheaper these days.
 
2014-08-18 01:34:40 PM  

jtown: How the hell does a pair of nodders come up with $200 every day?  That's over 70 grand a year after taxes just for drugs.  I know the standard answer is, "They steal."  But they'd have to be pretty damn good at stealing to get away with it for a long time.  What does one get from robbing the Kwik-E-Mart?  A hundie?  Or rob a house but then you need to have a vehicle capable of hauling away a decent amount of stuff then you need to convert the loot to cash.  So either you have to find a fence and get maybe 5% of the value or you spend a ton of time on craigslist.  But then you need space to store the loot until it's sold.  And you'd have to be doing this pretty much constantly to keep the money flowing.  Doing it without getting caught.  It just doesn't seem like a pair like this would be capable of pulling it off.


I think a lot of people do "favors" for drugs.
 
2014-08-18 01:35:00 PM  

jtown: How the hell does a pair of nodders come up with $200 every day?  That's over 70 grand a year after taxes just for drugs.  I know the standard answer is, "They steal."  But they'd have to be pretty damn good at stealing to get away with it for a long time.  What does one get from robbing the Kwik-E-Mart?  A hundie?  Or rob a house but then you need to have a vehicle capable of hauling away a decent amount of stuff then you need to convert the loot to cash.  So either you have to find a fence and get maybe 5% of the value or you spend a ton of time on craigslist.  But then you need space to store the loot until it's sold.  And you'd have to be doing this pretty much constantly to keep the money flowing.  Doing it without getting caught.  It just doesn't seem like a pair like this would be capable of pulling it off.


Maybe they sell paintings...
mytvfez.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-18 01:38:19 PM  

jtown: How the hell does a pair of nodders come up with $200 every day?  That's over 70 grand a year after taxes just for drugs.  I know the standard answer is, "They steal."  But they'd have to be pretty damn good at stealing to get away with it for a long time.  What does one get from robbing the Kwik-E-Mart?  A hundie?  Or rob a house but then you need to have a vehicle capable of hauling away a decent amount of stuff then you need to convert the loot to cash.  So either you have to find a fence and get maybe 5% of the value or you spend a ton of time on craigslist.  But then you need space to store the loot until it's sold.  And you'd have to be doing this pretty much constantly to keep the money flowing.  Doing it without getting caught.  It just doesn't seem like a pair like this would be capable of pulling it off.


A more likely explanation is that one or both of them are doing something to get their drugs.  I think the term "prostitution" would probably fit here.
 
2014-08-18 01:44:13 PM  
You know that thread just down the page where some Farkers were saying how everybody ought to have kids?...
 
2014-08-18 01:46:18 PM  

durbnpoisn: A more likely explanation is that one or both of them are doing something to get their drugs. I think the term "prostitution" would probably fit here.


Why is it "prostitution" when you trade drugs for sex, but if you trade dinner and a movie for sex it's called "dating"?
 
2014-08-18 01:51:59 PM  
I think heroin could find something far better to use than a family that just got passed out and got arrested. Isn't there a better tool heroin could use for the job?
 
2014-08-18 01:53:46 PM  
noiselesschatter.com
 
2014-08-18 01:55:11 PM  

jtown: How the hell does a pair of nodders come up with $200 every day?  That's over 70 grand a year after taxes just for drugs.  I know the standard answer is, "They steal."  But they'd have to be pretty damn good at stealing to get away with it for a long time.  What does one get from robbing the Kwik-E-Mart?  A hundie?  Or rob a house but then you need to have a vehicle capable of hauling away a decent amount of stuff then you need to convert the loot to cash.  So either you have to find a fence and get maybe 5% of the value or you spend a ton of time on craigslist.  But then you need space to store the loot until it's sold.  And you'd have to be doing this pretty much constantly to keep the money flowing.  Doing it without getting caught.  It just doesn't seem like a pair like this would be capable of pulling it off.


That looks like a newer model Toyota.  Maybe one of them is a trust fund kid?
 
2014-08-18 01:55:53 PM  
FTA: "Hand-cuffed and stumbling, deputies arrested a married couple after they admitted to a $200 a day heroin habit. "

The article doesn't explain why the deputies were in handcuffs nor why they were stumbling.
 
2014-08-18 01:58:26 PM  
Kill the parents and put the kids up for adoption.  Outside of a slavery ring, any situation would be better for them than staying with the two pieces of shiat that are their "parents".....
 
2014-08-18 01:59:40 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: durbnpoisn: A more likely explanation is that one or both of them are doing something to get their drugs. I think the term "prostitution" would probably fit here.

Why is it "prostitution" when you trade drugs for sex, but if you trade dinner and a movie for sex it's called "dating"?


Agreed.  We should be able to exchange cash value for the dinner and a movie.  It would probably come to about the same cost anyway.
 
2014-08-18 02:01:13 PM  

jtown: How the hell does a pair of nodders come up with $200 every day?  That's over 70 grand a year after taxes just for drugs.  I know the standard answer is, "They steal."  But they'd have to be pretty damn good at stealing to get away with it for a long time.  What does one get from robbing the Kwik-E-Mart?  A hundie?  Or rob a house but then you need to have a vehicle capable of hauling away a decent amount of stuff then you need to convert the loot to cash.  So either you have to find a fence and get maybe 5% of the value or you spend a ton of time on craigslist.  But then you need space to store the loot until it's sold.  And you'd have to be doing this pretty much constantly to keep the money flowing.  Doing it without getting caught.  It just doesn't seem like a pair like this would be capable of pulling it off.


Lots of time they will buy a large quantity at a reduced price then sell enough so they basically get theirs free.
 
2014-08-18 02:02:13 PM  
"deputies arrested a married couple after they admitted to a $200 a day heroin habit"

Throw the book at these farking idiots.  Everyone knows you are only allowed to use $150 in heroin each day.
 
2014-08-18 02:05:57 PM  
"Heroin use would have high-jacked portions of their brain, basically, so their priorities complete change...."

*rapid left eye blink*
 
2014-08-18 02:26:55 PM  

JusticeandIndependence: jtown: How the hell does a pair of nodders come up with $200 every day?  That's over 70 grand a year after taxes just for drugs.  I know the standard answer is, "They steal."  But they'd have to be pretty damn good at stealing to get away with it for a long time.  What does one get from robbing the Kwik-E-Mart?  A hundie?  Or rob a house but then you need to have a vehicle capable of hauling away a decent amount of stuff then you need to convert the loot to cash.  So either you have to find a fence and get maybe 5% of the value or you spend a ton of time on craigslist.  But then you need space to store the loot until it's sold.  And you'd have to be doing this pretty much constantly to keep the money flowing.  Doing it without getting caught.  It just doesn't seem like a pair like this would be capable of pulling it off.

That looks like a newer model Toyota.  Maybe one of them is a trust fund kid?


Am I being a dick when I ask that question? I see douchebags driving really nice cars and think to myself "what the fark am I doing wrong?" I understand car companies pretty much give anyone a loan these days, but at some point, sooner rather than later, you can't make the payments and get it repoed. Fark this "responsible fiscal living" BS!

/oh, and kill the parents too
//are grammy and pop pop any better, considering how their kids turned out?
 
2014-08-18 02:50:33 PM  
I count 8 cops for a couple of junkies.  These poor understaffed departments.
 
2014-08-18 05:24:01 PM  
6 cops for a couple of junkies, why do you think "court costs" are so high?
 
2014-08-19 12:18:47 AM  
Best headline ever.  gg
 
Displayed 28 of 28 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report