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(The Motley Fool)   How Burger King's low-fat Satisfries turned into the company's saddest fries   (fool.com ) divider line
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3949 clicks; posted to Business » on 17 Aug 2014 at 2:50 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-17 12:58:02 PM  
I was at a Burger King yesterday that still had them on the menu, so I tried some. They really didn't taste that different, particularly when covered in salt and ketchup.

Burger King never had good fries, anyway.
 
2014-08-17 01:18:49 PM  
I tried them when they came out.  They were OK, but nothing special.  I'm not a fan of crinkle cut fries anyway, so maybe that was part of it.  Wendy's still has the best mass market fast food fries.
 
2014-08-17 02:18:00 PM  
I liked them, and usually they were fresh because no one else ordered them so they had to cook them when you asked for them.
 
2014-08-17 02:40:14 PM  
I never bought any because I refused to say "Satisfries" out loud.

/Also never ordered Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity
 
2014-08-17 02:58:30 PM  
$1.89 for a small order of fries?  No thanks.
 
2014-08-17 03:01:48 PM  
They tasted awful, and had a horrible aftertaste. They were *very* mildly palatable after a dose of salt and a mountain of ketchup.

Saddest fries indeed.
 
2014-08-17 03:13:38 PM  
I see a big handful of sugar when I look at those fries.

Fat isn't killing people like sugar is.
 
2014-08-17 03:13:48 PM  
Now I want something called "Fatisfries." Can you do that for me? Fat cut fries so they soak up everything, deep fried only in pigfat. From pigs that have never eaten anything but other pigs.

Other pigs that died from heart attacks. That died from heart attacks because they were fed exclusively on full-calorie Pepsi?

Can you do that for me?
 
2014-08-17 03:16:45 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: I tried them when they came out.  They were OK, but nothing special.  I'm not a fan of crinkle cut fries anyway, so maybe that was part of it.  Wendy's still has the best mass market fast food fries.


I also like salt.
 
2014-08-17 03:21:03 PM  
BY COVERING POTATOES WITH STARCH. FRIES DO NOT NEED COATINGS.  NO STARCH, NO BATTER, NO SEASONED SALT.

CUT THEM.  FRY THEM. ***THEN***  DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO THEM.

WHOEVER DECIDED FRENCH FRIES NEED BATTER IS A MORE EVIL AND VILE HUMAN BEING THAN THE PERSON WHO THOUGHT LETTING CHILDREN SING IN RADIO ADS WAS A GOOD IDEA.
 
2014-08-17 03:24:12 PM  

Fark like a Barsoomian: Now I want something called "Fatisfries." Can you do that for me? Fat cut fries so they soak up everything, deep fried only in pigfat. From pigs that have never eaten anything but other pigs.

Other pigs that died from heart attacks. That died from heart attacks because they were fed exclusively on full-calorie Pepsi?

Can you do that for me?


Newsletter?
 
2014-08-17 03:33:13 PM  
They just needed a cover to change the original fry recipe. Nobody notices the old fries are now made with hcfs.
 
2014-08-17 03:37:10 PM  
media.twirlit.com
 
2014-08-17 03:41:23 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: I tried them when they came out.  They were OK, but nothing special.  I'm not a fan of crinkle cut fries anyway, so maybe that was part of it.   Wendy's still has the best mass market fast food fries.


Yeah, no.  In fact, since the "sea salt" change, I consider them the worst mass market fast food fries.
 
2014-08-17 03:50:47 PM  
years ago when the motley fool column was in the cheesy sunday paper in this small city i usually said what the hell i'll read the fluff/padding story about someone who bought too soon/too late or wasn't informed.
god it is instant avoid now. avoid like the relative who thinks fake news stories are real.
 
2014-08-17 03:52:35 PM  

IlGreven: TuteTibiImperes: I tried them when they came out.  They were OK, but nothing special.  I'm not a fan of crinkle cut fries anyway, so maybe that was part of it.   Wendy's still has the best mass market fast food fries.

Yeah, no.  In fact, since the "sea salt" change, I consider them the worst mass market fast food fries.


This. This. So much this!
 
2014-08-17 04:07:37 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: I tried them when they came out.  They were OK, but nothing special.  I'm not a fan of crinkle cut fries anyway, so maybe that was part of it.   Wendy's still has the best mass market fast food fries.


www.everythingaction.com
 
2014-08-17 04:18:19 PM  
Say what you will about McD's, but when they're fresh out of the fryer they're a starchy wet dream.
 
2014-08-17 04:18:41 PM  

lepton68: I never bought any because I refused to say "Satisfries" out loud.

/Also never ordered Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity


How do you feel about Moons Over My Hammy?
 
2014-08-17 04:20:13 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: I tried them when they came out.  They were OK, but nothing special.  I'm not a fan of crinkle cut fries anyway, so maybe that was part of it.  Wendy's still has the best mass market fast food fries.


I live near what I guarantee is the worst restaurant in the Wendy's chain. I can't think of any time in my life that they've given crisp, hot fries.

Every other Wendy's I can recall had GREAT food. If Dave were alive, I'd honestly call him to say "come out here and fix this sh*t!"
 
2014-08-17 04:33:13 PM  
I actually prefer the fatter Krinkle fries over the scrawny pencil-stick fries.
 
2014-08-17 04:47:13 PM  
Since it looks like about a third of the places still carry them, I wouldn't call it a total failure.

Or, even an epic one.
 
2014-08-17 04:47:39 PM  
Chick Fil A's waffle fries are the best fries.   Unfortunately, the other stuff they sell are sad chicken sandwiches and sad nuggets with a variety of lousy sauces.  There is no sauce in existence crappier than their Polynesian sauce.
 
2014-08-17 05:08:44 PM  

IlGreven: TuteTibiImperes: I tried them when they came out.  They were OK, but nothing special.  I'm not a fan of crinkle cut fries anyway, so maybe that was part of it.   Wendy's still has the best mass market fast food fries.

Yeah, no.  In fact, since the "sea salt" change, I consider them the worst mass market fast food fries.


See, that's the point where I thought they jumped into the lead.  Arby's curly fries are a close second, KFC Potato Wedges in third.
 
2014-08-17 05:22:41 PM  
So a poorer quality, higher priced answer to a question nobody asked turned out badly? Well, I may need my fainting couch.
 
2014-08-17 05:24:48 PM  
Of chains, Guys numbering Five has the best fries.

I've had better fries at small mom and pop places, but not that much better.
 
2014-08-17 05:28:06 PM  

IlGreven: TuteTibiImperes: I tried them when they came out.  They were OK, but nothing special.  I'm not a fan of crinkle cut fries anyway, so maybe that was part of it.   Wendy's still has the best mass market fast food fries.

Yeah, no.  In fact, since the "sea salt" change, I consider them the worst mass market fast food fries.


I guess I didn't realize that Rally's/Checkers stopped selling fries.
 
2014-08-17 05:29:43 PM  
On its current path combined with America's foodie "revolution", I dont see Burger King lasting another 10 years
 
2014-08-17 05:47:15 PM  

Dilvias: Of chains, Guys numbering Five has the best fries.

I've had better fries at small mom and pop places, but not that much better.


Fries aren't difficult to do really well, it's just that a lot of places cut corners to save time and/or money.

The key is managing the moisture content - if there's too much water content in the fry as you're cooking it, you'll never get the crisp exterior.

Beyond selecting the right potato the key to getting that crisp exterior is to cook them twice - first at a slightly lower temperature to par-cook them and drive out the excess moisture, and then again at a higher temperature to crisp them up and brown them.

What Five Guys does well is use peanut oil, which a lot of the big chains are afraid of due to peanut allergies.  Five Guys lacks consistency though - some places cool them very well, others don't cook them long enough and the fries are limp and soggy as a result.  If you ask for them 'well done' though, you typically get great results.
 
2014-08-17 05:48:26 PM  
how are the sadist fries coming along?
 
2014-08-17 06:03:26 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: Dilvias: Of chains, Guys numbering Five has the best fries.

I've had better fries at small mom and pop places, but not that much better.

Fries aren't difficult to do really well, it's just that a lot of places cut corners to save time and/or money.

The key is managing the moisture content - if there's too much water content in the fry as you're cooking it, you'll never get the crisp exterior.

Beyond selecting the right potato the key to getting that crisp exterior is to cook them twice - first at a slightly lower temperature to par-cook them and drive out the excess moisture, and then again at a higher temperature to crisp them up and brown them.

What Five Guys does well is use peanut oil, which a lot of the big chains are afraid of due to peanut allergies.  Five Guys lacks consistency though - some places cool them very well, others don't cook them long enough and the fries are limp and soggy as a result.  If you ask for them 'well done' though, you typically get great results.


I was always confused about this... The allergens in peanuts are not in the oil, especially after it's been refined and processed into cooking oil.
 
2014-08-17 06:22:55 PM  

Fark like a Barsoomian: Now I want something called "Fatisfries." Can you do that for me? Fat cut fries so they soak up everything, deep fried only in pigfat. From pigs that have never eaten anything but other pigs.

Other pigs that died from heart attacks. That died from heart attacks because they were fed exclusively on full-calorie Pepsi?

Can you do that for me?


Can't do that, but I can point you toward the best mass-produced potato chips ever, cooked in 100% lard. Grandma Utz's.
 
2014-08-17 07:16:40 PM  
...Maybe it was just the particular BK we go to, but a Big King and Satisfries was a gift from a benevolent deity.  best damn fast food ever.
 
2014-08-17 07:40:08 PM  

tgambitg: I was always confused about this... The allergens in peanuts are not in the oil, especially after it's been refined and processed into cooking oil.


I don't think there's any way to distilled every last protein out of it, which is what you would need for someone with a bad peanut allergy. Also I doubt cheap fryer oil is even distilled.
 
2014-08-17 07:58:09 PM  

basscomm: IlGreven: TuteTibiImperes: I tried them when they came out.  They were OK, but nothing special.  I'm not a fan of crinkle cut fries anyway, so maybe that was part of it.   Wendy's still has the best mass market fast food fries.

Yeah, no.  In fact, since the "sea salt" change, I consider them the worst mass market fast food fries.

I guess I didn't realize that Rally's/Checkers stopped selling fries.


They sell food there now? Huh.
 
2014-08-17 08:04:31 PM  

bionicjoe: lepton68: I never bought any because I refused to say "Satisfries" out loud.

/Also never ordered Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity

How do you feel about Moons Over My Hammy?


I order it at every restaurant just because it's fun to say. The people at Thais Spice don't think it's anywhere near as funny as I do.
 
2014-08-17 08:20:35 PM  

tgambitg: I was always confused about this... The allergens in peanuts are not in the oil, especially after it's been refined and processed into cooking oil.


Well, in the 5 guys in my area, that's rendered sort of moot by having baskets of shell on peanuts out to munch on in the sitting area.  I expect peanut dust all over.
 
2014-08-17 08:24:21 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: I tried them when they came out.  They were OK, but nothing special.  I'm not a fan of crinkle cut fries anyway, so maybe that was part of it.  Wendy's still has the best mass market fast food fries.


You know, I tried Wendy's new fries when they came out and didn't think they were good at all.  There wasn't any crunch, they were too thick, otherwise ok, sea salt is good I guess I'd rate them a 6.  I also tried the Satisfries when they came out, and they were pretty un-offensive.  Good ketchup adhesion, crunchy on the outside, and soft on the inside.  I'd rate those an 8.
 
2014-08-17 08:50:56 PM  
Burger King's philosophy has always been to imitate McDonald's, pure and simple. That's why they almost always build a Burger King right next to a McDonald's. Any attempt to deviate from this philosophy has almost always been a failure.
 
2014-08-17 08:52:32 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: Beyond selecting the right potato the key to getting that crisp exterior is to cook them twice - first at a slightly lower temperature to par-cook them and drive out the excess moisture, and then again at a higher temperature to crisp them up and brown them.


I'm pretty sure it's the other way around.  We used to go to a little Belgian Frites place in Santa Monica that did this- they had all the cooking details out front. It was something like 1 minute in 475F oil followed by 3 in 350F (don't quote me)   They used thick cut, solid potato with no coatings, cooked them fresh for each order and had a bunch of sauces available.

Fries done this way are so much better it's not even funny.  McD's aren't bad when fresh, BK's are just awful and Wendy's are too often way undercooked.
 
2014-08-17 09:02:48 PM  
1. In 'n' Out

2. Mc'Ds

3. Everyone else (as far as chains go)

/need time travel device for beef tallow mcd fries
 
2014-08-17 09:08:33 PM  

Thanks for the Meme-ries: 1. In 'n' Out

2. Mc'Ds

3. Everyone else (as far as chains go)

/need time travel device for beef tallow mcd fries


Came here to mention those. ( and i really miss them!)
 
2014-08-17 09:27:36 PM  

Dilvias: Of chains, Guys numbering Five has the best fries.


The cooking process of single-cooking fresh potatoes in insufficiently hot oil may result in a subpar frency fry, but at least they give you way too many of them!
 
2014-08-17 09:42:23 PM  
Can't do that, but I can point you toward the best mass-produced potato chips ever, cooked in 100% lard. Grandma Utz's.

Agreed 100%! The greatest chips of all time!
 
2014-08-17 10:55:43 PM  
What's wrong with sea salt?
 
2014-08-17 11:50:32 PM  
"Burger King claimed that Satisfries were healthier than regular fries, because they used a less porous type of batter that prevented more oil from being absorbed during frying."

Since when are french fries battered? You cut the potatoes and cook them, no batter is required.
 
2014-08-17 11:59:55 PM  
5 guys
Smash burger
McDonalds ( when fresh)
In n out
Steak and Shake
 
2014-08-18 12:25:13 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Chick Fil A's waffle fries are the best fries.   Unfortunately, the other stuff they sell are sad chicken sandwiches and sad nuggets with a variety of lousy sauces.  There is no sauce in existence crappier than their Polynesian sauce.


You shut your whore mouth.

Other than funding hate (which they've mostly stopped), Chik-Fil-A only has two problems: long drive thru lines and moderately high prices.
 
2014-08-18 01:01:34 AM  
Best fast food fries are Del Taco's crinkle cut fries.  Everything else is a pale comparison.
 
2014-08-18 01:06:31 AM  
I don't eat at BK, ever, so your argument is invalid.

I do like Wendy's new sea salt fries, though. I think they're actually better than McD's current fries.

/Burger King? I've never heard of it either, but they have 2,000 locations in this state alone.
 
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