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(Canoe)   Masturbators not allowed: Erections Ontario   (cnews.canoe.ca) divider line 51
    More: Amusing, Elections Ontario, The Balanced Budget Party, Masturbators Political Party, Ontario Neoliberal Party, Occupy Ontario Party  
•       •       •

2724 clicks; posted to Politics » on 17 Aug 2014 at 2:19 AM (28 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



51 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-17 12:14:19 AM  
Masturbation Party? Sounds like someone wants to go Manhood Camping.
 
2014-08-17 12:58:04 AM  
Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys
 
2014-08-17 03:10:37 AM  

themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys


WTF was that? And I am pretty sure the comments were mostly the author, but just wow...
 
2014-08-17 04:12:49 AM  

themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys


That was more crazy than I was prepared to handle.
 
2014-08-17 04:12:58 AM  

farkbot42: themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys

WTF was that? And I am pretty sure the comments were mostly the author, but just wow...


Not to mention all the research that says it helps regulate hormone levels and prevents prostate cancer.
/Turns out having it constantly working keeps it working.
//And for women it helps relieve menstrual cramps, tented cervix, and helps regulate hormones as well.
/// IE everyone should rub one out to be healthy.
 
2014-08-17 04:30:32 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-17 04:37:51 AM  

themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys


Has Anyone Really Been Far Even as Decided to Use Even Go Want to do Look More Like?
 
2014-08-17 04:43:10 AM  
That's it, I'm voting for Alice Cooper, he says he want to get elected and he's a member of the Wild Party.
 
2014-08-17 04:44:04 AM  

farkbot42: themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys

WTF was that? And I am pretty sure the comments were mostly the author, but just wow...


My favorite was the "I used to masturbate when I was young and now I'm facing marriage problems" comment.
 
2014-08-17 04:57:22 AM  

themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys

4.       Masturbation addicts you even if you taste it for one time. Controlling it is a very big menace.


I still haven't mastered this one

5.       Masturbation creates drowsiness; you will be sleeping most of the time after ejaculation of your sperm. You will experience a damn tired

This one is a flat out lie.

8.        Getting red hot while masturbating will give a bad name in your surroundings and it is indecent too.

What does that even mean? Does this guy not use lube, or something? He could spit in his hand, use some lotion, hop in the shower and use some conditioner.

12.   Masturbation is the main reason for speedy sperm release during sexual intercourse. It will create dissatisfaction to you and to your wife.

I do just fine, and my wife will concur.

13.   Over masturbation reduces your sperm count. Couples who desire to get pregnant should not masturbate.

My sperm count is just fine. My wife got pregnant with our daughter while she was on 'transitional' birth control after her IUD was removed. We were gonna wait another 6 weeks or so. It lasted 2 days.

16.   Masturbation wastes your time and makes you useless.

Wow...

17.   The pleasure of masturbation never lasts for a long time.

Wow, Pt II

18.   Masturbation creates more problems as you lose your memory and thought provoking ability.

How does this even...?

20.   It is not needed in any way to your sexual life that it has to be practiced without fail.

Who "practices it without fail"? Where do you get these statistics?

21.   Guys who masturbate will lose interest in sex with their wife very soon. They can't feel pleasurable for a long time.

Only if your wife was a cold fish in the sack to begin with.

22.   Masturbation induces homosexuals in schools, colleges and hostels. Many times the latter creates sexually transmitted diseases like VD, syphilis, AIDS etc.,

I don't even KNOW where the guy is coming from here. Is he trying to imply that only The Folk masturbate? Is it supposed to fill the 10:30 slot on the Gay Agenda? How are they masturbating to spread disease?
 
2014-08-17 05:03:40 AM  

Mikey1969: 22.   Masturbation induces homosexuals in schools, colleges and hostels. Many times the latter creates sexually transmitted diseases like VD, syphilis, AIDS etc.,

I don't even KNOW where the guy is coming f ...


The real lesson here is that a hostel is pretty much the grossest place ever to have sex.
 
2014-08-17 05:11:59 AM  

themindiswatching: Mikey1969: 22.   Masturbation induces homosexuals in schools, colleges and hostels. Many times the latter creates sexually transmitted diseases like VD, syphilis, AIDS etc.,

I don't even KNOW where the guy is coming f ...

The real lesson here is that a hostel is pretty much the grossest place ever to have sex.


But I only go there to masturbate.
 
2014-08-17 05:39:58 AM  
The story is odd.. this thread is surreal.
 
2014-08-17 05:48:54 AM  

fusillade762: Masturbation Party? Sounds like someone wants to go Manhood Camping.


In total honesty, I could probably handle the JO circle, especially since it's NOT GAY. But the Nickelback would be a deal-breaker.
 
2014-08-17 05:56:01 AM  

themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys


That article has that semi-literate, vaguely schizophrenic writing style that one frequently encounters in conservative blogs.
 
2014-08-17 06:04:33 AM  

markfara: fusillade762: Masturbation Party? Sounds like someone wants to go Manhood Camping.

In total honesty, I could probably handle the JO circle, especially since it's NOT GAY. But the Nickelback would be a deal-breaker.


You have some good Ed Hardy gear I assume?
 
2014-08-17 06:13:29 AM  
Speaking of elections and politics. I go to the politics tab to masturbate. It's either that or read the comments. BRB.
 
2014-08-17 06:13:37 AM  

fusillade762: markfara: fusillade762: Masturbation Party? Sounds like someone wants to go Manhood Camping.

In total honesty, I could probably handle the JO circle, especially since it's NOT GAY. But the Nickelback would be a deal-breaker.

You have some good Ed Hardy gear I assume?


Don't judge me, but I had to look that up. Here's what the Urban Dictionary has to say:

Ed Hardy consists of ridiculously low quality garments at a hideously jacked up price.

It's the brand of choice for people who spend so much money on crystal that they can't afford iPods, apparently.
 
2014-08-17 07:14:42 AM  

themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys


Given the site is called scholarlyanswers, I assume it is neither scholarly nor provides answers.
 
2014-08-17 07:16:58 AM  
A one-eye popping request?
 
2014-08-17 07:36:34 AM  

themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys

Masturbation makes you week, it spends more energy and burns your calorie

ejaculation often will create you to be lean and distracts your metabolism of muscle building


So I guess what he's saying is only fatties can masturbate.

/bring on the junk food and soda!
 
2014-08-17 08:40:30 AM  

Mikey1969: 5.       Masturbation creates drowsiness; you will be sleeping most of the time after ejaculation of your sperm. You will experience a damn tired

This one is a flat out lie.


Other than the implication that doing it yourself is different, that's true.  Your heart rate will go down after you ejaculate.  The stereotype of the guy rolling over and falling asleep right after sex didn't come from nowhere.  It's not uncommon for someone to rub one out just to help get to sleep.
 
2014-08-17 08:42:14 AM  

BMFPitt: Mikey1969: 5.       Masturbation creates drowsiness; you will be sleeping most of the time after ejaculation of your sperm. You will experience a damn tired

This one is a flat out lie.

Other than the implication that doing it yourself is different, that's true.  Your heart rate will go down after you ejaculate.  The stereotype of the guy rolling over and falling asleep right after sex didn't come from nowhere.  It's not uncommon for someone to rub one out just to help get to sleep.


How do you think I've lasted this long with a 3rd shift job?  I need to get to sleep in the afternoon somehow..
 
2014-08-17 08:56:07 AM  
"In Ontario Election News....the Masturbators were able to beat off a challenge in some ridings...."
 
2014-08-17 09:02:53 AM  

BMFPitt: Mikey1969: 5.       Masturbation creates drowsiness; you will be sleeping most of the time after ejaculation of your sperm. You will experience a damn tired

This one is a flat out lie.

Other than the implication that doing it yourself is different, that's true.  Your heart rate will go down after you ejaculate.  The stereotype of the guy rolling over and falling asleep right after sex didn't come from nowhere.  It's not uncommon for someone to rub one out just to help get to sleep.


Cracked had an article about it. Pretty much why most guys pretty much pass out afterwards is the chemical and hormone levels change plus the effort from the sex itself. Combine that with the fact most sex happens at night and you might as well tranq a man.
/So the guy is right for the wrong reasons. It does make you drowse but a little sleep and/or coffee and no effects whatsoever.
 
2014-08-17 09:05:40 AM  

Tyrone Slothrop: themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys

Given the site is called scholarlyanswers, I assume it is neither scholarly nor provides answers.


From the Blog:
1.       Masturbation makes you week, it spends more energy and burns your calorie

0-media-cdn.foolz.us
 
2014-08-17 09:43:43 AM  
Gary-L:

From the Blog:
1.       Masturbation makes your week. . . .


Fixed.
 
2014-08-17 09:50:33 AM  
Elections Ontario has an open mind when it comes to registering names for new political parties, but "it drew the line at one eye-popping request.

One eye?

Popping?

Tell me that was wasn't deliberate.

So the Masturbation Party isn't allowed to call themselves that according to the prudes at Elections Canada?

Afraid of the stiff competition are they?

ZZ None of the Above (Anarchist/Feminist) made it through the required vetting process

Why not AA None of the Above? Top of the ballot is better than dead last on it.

The Priorities, Opportunities and Tolerance Party got the green light but its abbreviation -- POT -- did not.

Have you ever come up with a cunning plan...   ...on weed?!
 
2014-08-17 09:59:20 AM  
Eye popping.

That is all.
 
2014-08-17 09:59:37 AM  

themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys


TL;DR because I am experiencing a damn tired
 
2014-08-17 10:00:23 AM  

quatchi: ZZ None of the Above (Anarchist/Feminist) made it through the required vetting process

Why not AA None of the Above? Top of the ballot is better than dead last on it.


Because "none of the above" wouldn't make any sense at the top of the list.  But seriously, it can have a more solid impact to look down an unpalatable list and see "and if you don't like ANY of these farkers..." at the end.  Doesn't work as well if people don't bother reading the whole list, but I can see it working for a few people.
 
2014-08-17 10:04:03 AM  
Now I have that song from Hair stuck in my head.
 
2014-08-17 10:05:59 AM  

Gary-L: Tyrone Slothrop: themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys

Given the site is called scholarlyanswers, I assume it is neither scholarly nor provides answers.

From the Blog:
1.       Masturbation makes you week, it spends more energy and burns your calorie

[0-media-cdn.foolz.us image 250x272]


You try and type something smarter than that using just one hand.
 
2014-08-17 10:13:17 AM  
I don't mind if my guy plays the lone hand sometimes.
 
2014-08-17 10:15:00 AM  

mrshowrules: Gary-L: Tyrone Slothrop: themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys

Given the site is called scholarlyanswers, I assume it is neither scholarly nor provides answers.

From the Blog:
1.       Masturbation makes you week, it spends more energy and burns your calorie

[0-media-cdn.foolz.us image 250x272]

You try and type something smarter than that using just one hand.


Meow is against Masturbation?
 
2014-08-17 10:36:13 AM  

gilatrout: mrshowrules: Gary-L: Tyrone Slothrop: themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys

Given the site is called scholarlyanswers, I assume it is neither scholarly nor provides answers.

From the Blog:
1.       Masturbation makes you week, it spends more energy and burns your calorie

[0-media-cdn.foolz.us image 250x272]

You try and type something smarter than that using just one hand.

Meow is against Masturbation?


Ceiling Cat's political party. M.A.M.
 
2014-08-17 10:54:43 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-17 10:55:40 AM  
Damn, that wasn't very readable... :-/
 
2014-08-17 10:56:43 AM  
Some people are literally too stupid to masturbate. But enough about me, and politicians.
 
2014-08-17 11:07:49 AM  
Is the Lemon Party allowed?
 
2014-08-17 11:11:47 AM  

BMFPitt: Mikey1969: 5.       Masturbation creates drowsiness; you will be sleeping most of the time after ejaculation of your sperm. You will experience a damn tired

This one is a flat out lie.

Other than the implication that doing it yourself is different, that's true.  Your heart rate will go down after you ejaculate.  The stereotype of the guy rolling over and falling asleep right after sex didn't come from nowhere.  It's not uncommon for someone to rub one out just to help get to sleep.


Whether I go and punch the clown or have sex with my wife, I'm on a nice adrenaline rush afterwards and sleep isn't happening for awhile.
 
2014-08-17 11:27:07 AM  

Mikey1969: BMFPitt: Mikey1969: 5.       Masturbation creates drowsiness; you will be sleeping most of the time after ejaculation of your sperm. You will experience a damn tired

This one is a flat out lie.

Other than the implication that doing it yourself is different, that's true.  Your heart rate will go down after you ejaculate.  The stereotype of the guy rolling over and falling asleep right after sex didn't come from nowhere.  It's not uncommon for someone to rub one out just to help get to sleep.

Whether I go and punch the clown or have sex with my wife, I'm on a nice adrenaline rush afterwards and sleep isn't happening for awhile.


That's extremely unusual, then.  Most guys are drained right afterward.  Unless you're already extremely tired, it will pass in a minute or two, but it can be slightly sleepy-making.  That said, it's not like that's a problem.  It's more of an argument against road head than masturbation.  Long as you don't take matters into your own hand while operating heavy machinery, it's perfectly fine.
 
2014-08-17 11:43:00 AM  

Last Man on Earth: Mikey1969: BMFPitt: Mikey1969: 5.       Masturbation creates drowsiness; you will be sleeping most of the time after ejaculation of your sperm. You will experience a damn tired

This one is a flat out lie.

Other than the implication that doing it yourself is different, that's true.  Your heart rate will go down after you ejaculate.  The stereotype of the guy rolling over and falling asleep right after sex didn't come from nowhere.  It's not uncommon for someone to rub one out just to help get to sleep.

Whether I go and punch the clown or have sex with my wife, I'm on a nice adrenaline rush afterwards and sleep isn't happening for awhile.

That's extremely unusual, then.  Most guys are drained right afterward.  Unless you're already extremely tired, it will pass in a minute or two, but it can be slightly sleepy-making.  That said, it's not like that's a problem.  It's more of an argument against road head than masturbation.  Long as you don't take matters into your own hand while operating heavy machinery, it's perfectly fine.


For some of us, taking matters into our own hands IS operating heavy machinery!

/in my imagination
 
2014-08-17 12:16:07 PM  
And yet they let the CPC pretend to be the PC party. fark that noise.
 
2014-08-17 12:27:55 PM  

skinink: Is the Lemon Party allowed?


More subtle is the way to go to try to get one through.

I would try Sausage Party.
 
2014-08-17 03:29:10 PM  
When they came for the masturbators, I said nothing. . .
 
2014-08-17 05:09:53 PM  

markfara: themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys

That article has that semi-literate, vaguely schizophrenic writing style that one frequently encounters in conservative blogs.


I tried looking if it was a translation or something, because the odd word-choices reminded me of a Quebeqois person I used to interact with, but all of the articles have that weird writing style, and I can't find an "about" page. I'm not even sure this guy isn't trolling.
 
2014-08-17 05:30:20 PM  

HighOnCraic: When they came for the masturbators, I said nothing. . .


And when they came for me, I said "Just a minute!"
 
2014-08-17 06:49:50 PM  
 
2014-08-17 10:00:13 PM  

themindiswatching: Want to read something insane?  Masturbation is unhealthy for guys


"1.       Masturbation makes you week, "

www.blankcalendar.org
 
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