If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(WPTV)   Man who worked in morgue admits to having sex with up to 100 corpses   (wptv.com) divider line 180
    More: Sick  
•       •       •

11948 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Aug 2014 at 2:56 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



180 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-08-16 12:09:30 PM  
Why is it when a man has sex with 100 corpses he's a hero but if a woman were to she would be a slut ?
 
2014-08-16 12:11:08 PM  

One Bad Apple: Why is it when a man has sex with 100 corpses he's a hero but if a woman were to she would be a slut ?


goddamnit i got coffee everywhere
 
2014-08-16 01:52:37 PM  

Doktor_Zhivago: One Bad Apple: Why is it when a man has sex with 100 corpses he's a hero but if a woman were to she would be a slut ?

goddamnit i got coffee everywhere


Why is it when a man gets coffee everywhere, he's a slob, but when a woman gets coffee everywhere she's on the rag?
 
2014-08-16 02:57:29 PM  
Well, they were asking for it.
 
2014-08-16 02:58:09 PM  
What's his Fark handle?


😁
 
2014-08-16 02:59:11 PM  
Has anyone used the "crack open a cold one" line yet?
 
2014-08-16 02:59:23 PM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-16 02:59:48 PM  
Before autopsy? So the cutter subsequently missed the fresh semen in the birth canal 100 times?
 
2014-08-16 02:59:50 PM  

GRCooper: Has anyone used the "crack open a cold one" line yet?


Yeah - you.
 
2014-08-16 02:59:52 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-16 02:59:52 PM  
That's a cold hearted thing to do.
 
2014-08-16 03:00:47 PM  
Somebody needs to have a little chat with this guy, but get a couple beers to calm him down. Just relax, and crack open a cold one.
 
2014-08-16 03:01:41 PM  

jso2897: GRCooper: Has anyone used the "crack open a cold one" line yet?

Yeah - you.


Grr... again, didn't bother hiring refresh.
 
2014-08-16 03:02:32 PM  
He wouldn't let them turn a cold shoulder to him.

An eye for an aye, a stiff for a stiff.

He had 'em dead to rights.

Everybody just chill.
 
2014-08-16 03:05:14 PM  
Additional generic necrophilia joke.
 
2014-08-16 03:05:17 PM  
These two wanted for questioning...

media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2014-08-16 03:05:55 PM  
*yawn*... Call me when he does it in front of a daycare.
 
2014-08-16 03:07:12 PM  
i.ytimg.com
 
2014-08-16 03:08:09 PM  
It's good to find hard help these days.
 
2014-08-16 03:08:36 PM  

Lonewolf45100: That's a cold hearted thing to do.


That wasn't the only think that was cold
 
2014-08-16 03:09:36 PM  
How do you "reek of sex" with a corpse?
 
2014-08-16 03:10:42 PM  

Nadie_AZ: Why is it when a man gets coffee everywhere, he's a slob, but when a woman gets coffee everywhere she's on the rag cleans it up, instead of just waiting for it to dry?

 
2014-08-16 03:11:01 PM  
Cock of 100 corpses?
 
2014-08-16 03:12:08 PM  
i1046.photobucket.com

You bang the dead bodies? I imagine stuff like that goes on all the time. I mean I don't give a shiat. If I was dead you could bang me all you want. I mean who cares? A dead body is like a piece of trash. I mean shove as much shiat in there as you want. Fill me up with cream,make a stew out of my ass. What's the big deal? Bang me, eat me, grind me up into little pieces, throw me in the river. Who gives a shiat? You're dead, you're dead! Oh shiat! Is my mike on?
 
2014-08-16 03:13:20 PM  
Necrophilia: It's always better the second time around.
 
2014-08-16 03:13:45 PM  
Did this man have sex with my wife 100x's? You could mistake her for a corpse in the bed. She just lays there and expects everything from you and nothing from her.
 
2014-08-16 03:16:20 PM  
They're corpses, not panda bears.

/[whothehellcares.jpg]
 
2014-08-16 03:17:15 PM  
What gets better with age?
Necrophilia.

/Try your waitress.
//Oh, wait...
///Slashie 3
 
2014-08-16 03:17:15 PM  

slotz: How do you "reek of sex" with a corpse?


Oh, don't pretend that you don't know. The whole neighborhood knows why you wear so much Axe.
 
2014-08-16 03:19:32 PM  

cryinoutloud: slotz: How do you "reek of sex" with a corpse?

Oh, don't pretend that you don't know. The whole neighborhood knows why you wear so much Axe.


"Having had sex" is amongst the last of the reasons that I would suspect for someone wearing Axe.
 
2014-08-16 03:22:23 PM  

GATORinaZ28: [img.fark.net image 259x194]


Came for Sam Kinison, leaving with "You mean Life keeps farking me in the ass even after I'm dead!?!?.  It never ends, it never ends..OH OHHHHHH!"
 
2014-08-16 03:24:13 PM  
Six Feet Under fan non-fiction?
 
2014-08-16 03:24:55 PM  
How embarrassing for southwest Ohio. This guy and Boehner are almost neighbors. One is orange in a black suit and doesn't work. The other is black in an orange suit and works it to death. It's Ohio, so both are fueled by alcohol.
 
2014-08-16 03:25:27 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-16 03:26:08 PM  
a1.img.mobypicture.com
...in a row?
 
2014-08-16 03:26:38 PM  
What a deadbeat.
 
2014-08-16 03:26:57 PM  
Really got into his work, eh?
 
2014-08-16 03:29:01 PM  
FTA -"Had he been stopped, these women would not have been abused."

Are they still technically women at that point? I mean there is a difference between claiming to have sex with 100 women and claiming to have sex with 100 corpses of female bodies in my book.
 
2014-08-16 03:30:07 PM  

Coming on a Bicycle: Before autopsy? So the cutter subsequently missed the fresh semen in the birth canal 100 times?


Maybe he used a condom because he wouldn't want to get them pregnant.

Douglas' wife said she called the morgue supervisor about her husband smelling like sex and alcohol after work.

But the thing that really got him in trouble was having sex with live women while on the clock.
 
2014-08-16 03:30:45 PM  
I realize they were 'cold' but were they 'hot'?


/gross...but was any real harm done?
 
2014-08-16 03:31:19 PM  
i61.tinypic.com
 
2014-08-16 03:32:01 PM  
Yeah ooh oh one thing I miss is cold Ethyl and her skeleton kiss
We met last night making love by the refrigerator light
Ethyl Ethyl let me squeeze you in my arms
Ethyl Ethyl come and freeze me with your charms
Ah one thing no lie Ethyl's frigid as an Eskimo pie
She's cool in bed she's gotta be 'cause Ethyl's dead
Ethyl Ethyl let me squeeze you in my arms
Ethyl Ethyl come and freeze me with your charms
Come on cold Ethyl freeze me baby that's cool that's nice
One thing it's true cold Ethyl I am stuck on you
And everything is my way ethyl don't have much to say
Ethyl Ethyl let me squeeze you in my arms
Ethyl Ethyl come and freeze me with your charms
Come here cold Ethyl what makes you so cold ooh so cold ooh ooh
Cold Ethyl cold cold Ethyl cold Ethyl cold cold Ethyl
Cold Ethyl cold cold Ethyl cold Ethyl cold cold Ethyl
If I live 'til ninety seven you'll still be waiting in refrigerator heaven
'cause you're cool you're ice cold Ethyl you're my paradise aah

Too obscure?
 
2014-08-16 03:32:19 PM  
I wonder if it carries a stiff sentence.

Also, not much of a headline but something like this should automatically make FARK,
 
2014-08-16 03:32:56 PM  
It would have been OK if he worked at the creamatorium.

Or if the undertaker undertook her.

He always was the life of the party.

I hope he'll serve his sentence with a stiff upper lip.
 
2014-08-16 03:32:59 PM  
i62.tinypic.com
 
2014-08-16 03:34:02 PM  
www.impawards.com
Ok subbs, I'll finally get around to watching this tonight.
 
2014-08-16 03:35:05 PM  
i59.tinypic.com
 
2014-08-16 03:35:10 PM  
He just couldn't say no -- and neither could they.
 
2014-08-16 03:36:57 PM  
Well, if he's not getting it at home, he's getting it at the morgue.
 
2014-08-16 03:37:06 PM  

lilfry14: FTA -"Had he been stopped, these women would not have been abused."

Are they still technically women at that point? I mean there is a difference between claiming to have sex with 100 women and claiming to have sex with 100 corpses of female bodies in my book.


Well, isn't this technically rape? I mean, they couldn't very well give consent.
"    " means no.
 
Displayed 50 of 180 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report