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(Huffington Post)   Avoiding sex until marriage? Umm, yeah, no. Avoiding masturbation until marriage? I'M OUT   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 156
    More: Unlikely, HuffPost Live, religious values  
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8970 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Aug 2014 at 5:56 PM (46 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



156 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-15 03:07:03 PM  
just one more reason that i'm an atheist.
 
2014-08-15 03:24:36 PM  
Worst honeymoon ever!
 
2014-08-15 03:37:07 PM  
If they're waiting for their new husbands to give them their first orgasm, at least 2 people are likely to end up frustrated.
 
2014-08-15 03:45:26 PM  
So much disappoint in their future.
 
2014-08-15 03:45:34 PM  
What would be the point? Once you're married, you can have sex whenever you want, so there's no point in ever masturbating.
 
2014-08-15 03:48:48 PM  
So they know absolutely nothing about sexual pleasure...sounds like a lot of fun.  NOT.
 
2014-08-15 03:48:48 PM  
Oh my God. I would sooner die than go without masturbating until I'm married again.
 
2014-08-15 04:06:30 PM  

FlashHarry: just one more reason that i'm an atheist.


truth

"I don't condone masturbation.  "
get back to me after you learn about your husband's masturbation.

"sex with me once a month should be more than enough"
 
2014-08-15 04:08:11 PM  

alaric3: Worst honeymoon ever!


shudder
"honey, why are you just lying there like a dead starfish"
 
2014-08-15 04:13:09 PM  
avoiding masturbation is fine as long as you're having enough sex that it doesn't matter.
 
2014-08-15 04:24:05 PM  

JerseyTim: What would be the point? Once you're married, you can have sex whenever you want, so there's no point in ever masturbating.


You laugh, but this is how I was brought up. :/
 
2014-08-15 04:25:55 PM  
It's the same thing as cheating.

serial_crusher: avoiding masturbation is fine as long as you're having enough sex that it doesn't matter.


Eh, but sometimes you just WANT to masturbate.
I mean, a four course meal at a five star restaurant is the best, but every now and then you'd rather just sit on the couch eating Taco Bell.
 
2014-08-15 04:27:32 PM  

Rev. Skarekroe: It's the same thing as cheating.

serial_crusher: avoiding masturbation is fine as long as you're having enough sex that it doesn't matter.

Eh, but sometimes you just WANT to masturbate.
I mean, a four course meal at a five star restaurant is the best, but every now and then you'd rather just sit on the couch eating Taco Bell.


also depending on available partners, that analogy might go the other way
 
2014-08-15 04:28:04 PM  

MrBallou: If they're waiting for their new husbands to give them their first orgasm, at least 2 people are likely to end up frustrated.


A man really shouldn't expect a threesome on his wedding night.
 
2014-08-15 04:36:46 PM  
Did she masturbate as a child?
One of the strangest things that I have learned is that little kids can masturbate.
Did she have it beaten out of her by strict parents?

/what a waste of life.
 
2014-08-15 04:48:42 PM  
"For me, and I think what the Bible shows us

i340.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-15 05:03:56 PM  

namatad: One of the strangest things that I have learned is that little kids can masturbate.


Kids have their hands in their pants (and sometimes their nips too) constantly.
 
2014-08-15 05:13:25 PM  

namatad: One of the strangest things that I have learned is that little kids can masturbate.


My one-year-old son recently discovered that he is, in fact, male.

Diaper changes are now a constant battle, but trying to do so in a way without potentially stunting his emotional development is pretty challenging.

So, it's not, "No, don't do that! It's nasty!" but rather, "There will be plenty of time for that when you're older, kid. Right now, I need your hands out of the way so I can get your clothes back on."
 
2014-08-15 05:15:44 PM  

JerseyTim: Once you're married, you can have sex whenever you want, so there's no point in ever masturbating.



i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-15 05:34:35 PM  
But who would marry someone who has so clearly got mental health issues?
 
2014-08-15 05:42:23 PM  

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: But who would marry someone who has so clearly got mental health issues?


Other crazy people?
 
2014-08-15 05:54:56 PM  

cameroncrazy1984: Angela Lansbury's Merkin: But who would marry someone who has so clearly got mental health issues?

Other crazy people?


These fundy/evangelical sects are just horrible. My aunt (and therefore her descendants, and all her friends) all belong to one. Time and again, I hear stories from my aunt, "Oh, John and Jane's daughter is having a rough time in her marriage. Pray for her!"

Yeah, you know why she's having a rough time in her marriage? BECAUSE YOUR F*CKING CHURCH PUSHED HER AND ANOTHER 18-YEAR-OLD INTO SOMETHING THEY WEREN'T F*CKING PREPARED FOR!!! You keep teenagers so spun up that by the time they're legal to marry, they'll jump headlong at the first boy/girl who smiles at them and gives them warm fuzzies down south. They think it's a Godly blessing, that it's real love, and then two years later they realize that all they had in common was 1) parents who shared a religion, and 2) a natural desire to get laid.

Horrifying shiat.
 
2014-08-15 05:57:37 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-15 05:59:17 PM  
What book are these folks reading as no where in the bible does it say masturbation is a sin.
 
2014-08-15 06:00:28 PM  
I know an "ex-masturbator".

He's a weird guy.
 
2014-08-15 06:02:48 PM  

Ned Stark: I know an "ex-masturbator".

He's a weird guy.


that is weird

he masturbates his exes?
 
2014-08-15 06:04:26 PM  

Somacandra: namatad: One of the strangest things that I have learned is that little kids can masturbate.

Kids have their hands in their pants (and sometimes their nips too) constantly.


How do they get their nips in their pants?
 
2014-08-15 06:05:00 PM  

minoridiot: What book are these folks reading as no where in the bible does it say masturbation is a sin.


The Bible speaks of lust as a sin, and masturbation is automatically assigned to lust, especially among evangelical/protestant churches. They consider it their mission to unhealthily fark with developing teenagers minds and sexual development.
 
2014-08-15 06:06:58 PM  
ican'tfaptothis.jpg
 
2014-08-15 06:07:43 PM  

Snarfangel: MrBallou: If they're waiting for their new husbands to give them their first orgasm, at least 2 people are likely to end up frustrated.

A man really shouldn't expect a threesome on his wedding night.


The best man however, should expect a threesome on his buddy's wedding night.
 
2014-08-15 06:08:36 PM  

Rip_Rufus: Somacandra: namatad: One of the strangest things that I have learned is that little kids can masturbate.

Kids have their hands in their pants (and sometimes their nips too) constantly.

How do they get their nips in their pants?



I'm not sure, but this one looks full of angst.
tokyofashion.com
Please don't hate me for my puns.
 
2014-08-15 06:09:16 PM  

Somacandra: JerseyTim: Once you're married, you can have sex whenever you want, so there's no point in ever masturbating.


[i.imgur.com image 359x400]


Not sure if awesome or abomination.
 
2014-08-15 06:09:16 PM  

Somacandra: namatad: One of the strangest things that I have learned is that little kids can masturbate.

Kids have their hands in their pants (and sometimes their nips too) constantly.


How long are the nips on those kids?
 
2014-08-15 06:11:10 PM  

Snarfangel: Rip_Rufus: Somacandra: namatad: One of the strangest things that I have learned is that little kids can masturbate.

Kids have their hands in their pants (and sometimes their nips too) constantly.

How do they get their nips in their pants?


I'm not sure, but this one looks full of angst.
[tokyofashion.com image 600x925]
Please don't hate me for my puns.


i've got angst in my pants and i've got to dance
 
2014-08-15 06:12:07 PM  

ugc-01.cafemomstatic.comRip_Rufus: Somacandra: namatad: One of the strangest things that I have learned is that little kids can masturbate.

Kids have their hands in their pants (and sometimes their nips too) constantly.

How do they get their nips in their pants?

 
2014-08-15 06:12:10 PM  
Yes the Muslim religion is horrible when it oppresses women. But it is ok to insist that women be "pure" for their husband??

Same shiat different magic book.
 
2014-08-15 06:14:27 PM  
Washing machines don't count!
 
2014-08-15 06:14:32 PM  
The headline makes no sense--unless he's marrying Rosy Palm...
 
2014-08-15 06:15:35 PM  
most people wait until after marriage to start avoiding sex
 
2014-08-15 06:16:32 PM  
You know what happens f you wait until arriage for sex? You lose out on some of your peak sexing years.
 
2014-08-15 06:17:31 PM  
Christ, what an asshole.
 
2014-08-15 06:17:43 PM  
shiat I cant avoid it until lunch....sheesh
 
2014-08-15 06:19:02 PM  
Hell I will be lucky if I avoid masturbation till bedtime
 
2014-08-15 06:19:23 PM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: Washing machines don't count!


Neither does anal.
 
2014-08-15 06:19:25 PM  
And for all three, that vow of virginity includes masturbation

I won't even DATE a girl that doesn't masturbate.
 
2014-08-15 06:19:58 PM  
My wife doesn't care if I rub one out, as long as she's getting what she needs/wants.

And of course, the feeling is mutual.


Purity is overrated.
 
2014-08-15 06:20:59 PM  

serial_crusher: avoiding masturbation is fine as long as you're having enough sex that it doesn't matter.


Who exactly are you trying to kid here?
 
2014-08-15 06:22:14 PM  

Ned Stark: I know an "ex-masturbator".

He's a weird guy.


Why? I have a couple of exes I would mind giving a hand every now and then.
 
2014-08-15 06:22:29 PM  

EvilEgg: [ugc-01.cafemomstatic.com image 500x374]Rip_Rufus: Somacandra: namatad: One of the strangest things that I have learned is that little kids can masturbate.

Kids have their hands in their pants (and sometimes their nips too) constantly.

How do they get their nips in their pants?


There are circles in hell reserved for people that post pics as disturbing as that so ask yourself if you want to spend eternity chained to 4channers and somethingrotten spammers?
 
2014-08-15 06:23:04 PM  
*Wouldn't. Goddammit
 
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