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(Chicago Trib)   Tipping thread: Midwest edition   (chicagotribune.com) divider line 39
    More: Silly, Republican Bruce Rauner, running mate, Illinois State Fair, Macomb  
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2114 clicks; posted to Politics » on 15 Aug 2014 at 7:54 PM (5 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-15 04:09:42 PM
TFA's author should be very grateful that the "smite" button on my keyboard is temporarily out of order, as its use was entirely called for by the opening paragraph.
 
2014-08-15 04:17:02 PM
I tip depending on the butterfat content.

/Jersey cows get the full 5%
 
2014-08-15 05:06:09 PM
Everyone South of 80 sexes their cousins, get over it.
 
2014-08-15 05:07:26 PM
Sanguinetti

Makes me think of pasta made of blood or something.
 
2014-08-15 06:15:08 PM

Pocket Ninja: TFA's author should be very grateful that the "smite" button on my keyboard is temporarily out of order, as its use was entirely called for by the opening paragraph.


Use the Spock button instead.
 
2014-08-15 07:25:51 PM
SPRINGFIELD --- Democratic Gov. Pat Quinn is milking an Upstate-Downstate kerfuffle with Republican Bruce Rauner's running mate over an udderly moooo-ving issue: Cow Tipping.

Is there any whey we could have fit any more bad puns into that sentence?
 
2014-08-15 07:55:48 PM

vernonFL: SPRINGFIELD --- Democratic Gov. Pat Quinn is milking an Upstate-Downstate kerfuffle with Republican Bruce Rauner's running mate over an udderly moooo-ving issue: Cow Tipping.

Is there any whey we could have fit any more bad puns into that sentence?


I bet they curd. Journalists may be full of bull, but they an also steer puns into a story with the best of them. Maybe the editor wouldn't leather make any more. If I were the author, heifer 3/4 of the piece would be puns!
 
2014-08-15 07:57:33 PM
I have never tipped a cow so here's a statue of the world's largest bull (no, not steer)

bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com
 
2014-08-15 08:05:43 PM
Illinois? On second thought...

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-15 08:10:02 PM
I usually try to tip 15%. If the service is REALLY REALLY shiatty( I'm talking about a combination of things like cold food, lousy service and shiatty attitude) I will literally leave my two cents. I'll call a manager over, tell them that's what I'm doing and why; usually followed by saying that I don't blame the restaurant.

/ as to cow tipping; don't do it, you could hurt yourself or the cow
 
2014-08-15 08:16:20 PM
She would have made an even worse cow joke, butter conscience wouldn't let her.
 
2014-08-15 08:19:34 PM
Obligatory.

/and I don't mean to sound like I'm trippin'
 
2014-08-15 08:24:18 PM
I tip:

Waiters
Bartenders
Cab drivers
Barbers
Valets
Etc.

Now we are expected to tip cows too?!?

/This is outta hand!!!!
 
2014-08-15 08:28:26 PM
Quinn: "She ought to say she's sorry to a bunch of cows,"

Me: No, Not "bunch", FFS, it's "herd".

Quinn: Herd of what?

Me: Herd of cows.

Quinn: Of course I heard of cows. Everyone has.

Me: No, no no! A cow herd.

Quinn: What do I care what a cow heard? I keep no secrets from cows!

Me: *sigh*

/Sorry, some jokes are inevitable.
 
2014-08-15 08:34:27 PM

iheartscotch: I usually try to tip 15%. If the service is REALLY REALLY shiatty( I'm talking about a combination of things like cold food, lousy service and shiatty attitude) I will literally leave my two cents. I'll call a manager over, tell them that's what I'm doing and why; usually followed by saying that I don't blame the restaurant.

/ as to cow tipping; don't do it, you could hurt yourself or the cow


There's a good chance that cold food is the restaurant's fault.
 
2014-08-15 08:38:48 PM
If ever there was a case of "this is why we can't have nice things"...

/really? This is what people pay attention to during a race for public office? Cow tipping stories?
 
2014-08-15 08:54:42 PM

wellreadneck: iheartscotch: I usually try to tip 15%. If the service is REALLY REALLY shiatty( I'm talking about a combination of things like cold food, lousy service and shiatty attitude) I will literally leave my two cents. I'll call a manager over, tell them that's what I'm doing and why; usually followed by saying that I don't blame the restaurant.

/ as to cow tipping; don't do it, you could hurt yourself or the cow

There's a good chance that cold food is the restaurant's fault.


So is lousy service and even shiatty attitude to a large extent. Those usually indicate being understaffed (or, in the latter case, a hostile work environment). Which either means someone didn't show, or management just under schedules the staff.
 
2014-08-15 08:58:07 PM
"They deserve to stand up right, and we're proud of our cows, and the Illinois cows are the best there ever was," Quinn said.

This bit of pandering word soup should offend you more as a constituent than the original cow-tipping comment.
 
2014-08-15 08:59:10 PM
You see, I understand you men were just playing around, but the mule cow, he just doesn't get it. Course, if you were to all apologize...
 
2014-08-15 09:04:03 PM

wellreadneck: iheartscotch: I usually try to tip 15%. If the service is REALLY REALLY shiatty( I'm talking about a combination of things like cold food, lousy service and shiatty attitude) I will literally leave my two cents. I'll call a manager over, tell them that's what I'm doing and why; usually followed by saying that I don't blame the restaurant.

/ as to cow tipping; don't do it, you could hurt yourself or the cow

There's a good chance that cold food is the restaurant's fault.


Indeed.

But, if you put it like that, people tend to remember it. Don't burn bridges in a town with only 6 restaurants.

/ you must remember; there really are towns in the Midwest with 1 or 2 restaurants in the whole town. When you get into Amish country; 1 restaurant is a big deal
 
2014-08-15 09:30:52 PM
Hey fly-over states!  This is why coastal folks make fun of you.
Seriously,  if you want grownups to treat you like big people, you need to step away from the cow-tipping stuff.
 
2014-08-15 09:33:39 PM
Pat Quinn and Bruce Rauner are horrible candidates.

I'm try to figure out if submitting tubgirl is a valid third party ballot entry.
 
2014-08-15 10:03:09 PM

quatchi: Quinn: "She ought to say she's sorry to a bunch of cows,"

Me: No, Not "bunch", FFS, it's "herd".

Quinn: Herd of what?

Me: Herd of cows.

Quinn: Of course I heard of cows. Everyone has.

Me: No, no no! A cow herd.

Quinn: What do I care what a cow heard? I keep no secrets from cows!

Me: *sigh*

/Sorry, some jokes are inevitable.


Who's on first and What's on second. Wait... who was on third again?


/This has GOT to be the biggest nonsense I have ever read on this tab.  Yes, I read the "hispanic cheese" article.
 
2014-08-15 10:06:48 PM

redmid17: Pat Quinn and Bruce Rauner are horrible candidates.

I'm try to figure out if submitting tubgirl is a valid third party ballot entry.


At least tubgirl is open about spewing shi---you know what, I'm not going to finish that thought...

/sometimes I wish Illinois had a "none of the above" option
//this is a clothespin election, like France in 2002
 
2014-08-15 10:09:13 PM

The Larch: You see, I understand you men were just playing around, but the mule cow,

She just doesn't get it. Course, if you were to all apologize...

Damm, son.  This aint California!
 
2014-08-15 10:19:07 PM

Needlessly Complicated: This has GOT to be the biggest nonsense I have ever read on this tab.  Yes, I read the "hispanic cheese" article.


It's threads like this that the term "nothingburger" was invented for, I think.

/Weird, now I'm hungry for a cheeseburger.
 
2014-08-15 10:20:31 PM
Thought it said "Tripping thread"

www.bannoy.com
 
2014-08-15 10:44:11 PM

Neeek: wellreadneck: iheartscotch: I usually try to tip 15%. If the service is REALLY REALLY shiatty( I'm talking about a combination of things like cold food, lousy service and shiatty attitude) I will literally leave my two cents. I'll call a manager over, tell them that's what I'm doing and why; usually followed by saying that I don't blame the restaurant.

/ as to cow tipping; don't do it, you could hurt yourself or the cow

There's a good chance that cold food is the restaurant's fault.

So is lousy service and even shiatty attitude to a large extent. Those usually indicate being understaffed (or, in the latter case, a hostile work environment). Which either means someone didn't show, or management just under schedules the staff.


I have been a waiter.

Hold it against your waitstaff if they have a crappy attitude.

Hold it against your waitstaff if the food is cold...... Your waiter/waitress should be able to handle the cooks. Some cooks suck...... but, your waiter/waitress should be able to make them work.

Lousy service is usually your waiter/waitress's fault...... not always though. Pay attention to what they're doing, and determine whether they are understaffed (sometimes the restaurant looks slow...... but, they may still be understaffed.) or your waitstaff is lazy.

DO NOT hold it against your waiter/waitress if you can tell they are working hard but didn't have enough time to get you everything that you thought they should be able to. That is something that was probably out of their control.

The cooks might suck, the Restaurant might suck, their scheduling might suck, but........ your waiter didn't do those things, so don't hold it against them. Just tip well, and pick a different Restaurant next time.
 
2014-08-15 11:13:34 PM

Laobaojun: Hey fly-over states!


Virginia?

This is what you need to do to escape your self loathing?
 
2014-08-16 01:13:44 AM
Haven't even gotten to the cow tipping part yet. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the idea of Republican Day.

/is that like when Disney holds Gay Day? Only with Republicans?
//nttawwt
///LGBTQR?
 
2014-08-16 01:41:23 AM
Why would she want someone to push her over?
 
2014-08-16 05:36:12 AM

Jack Lambert's Missing Teeth: If ever there was a case of "this is why we can't have nice things"...

/really? This is what people pay attention to during a race for public office? Cow tipping stories?


No, this is foreplay before they start detailing corruption on both sides that won't result in charges until someone forces their wife to participate in sex clubs or they involve an out-of-state VIP.
 
2014-08-16 10:11:51 AM
Instead of apologizing, Sanguinetti could have sung a verse:

A cat's meow and a cow's moo too, you know, I could recite them all
Just tell me where it hurts you, honey, and I'll tell you who to call
Nobody can get asleep, there's someone on everybody's toes
When Quinn the Governor gets here everybody's gonna want to doze
 
2014-08-16 11:22:27 AM

Ow! That was my feelings!: Illinois? On second thought...

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 320x176]


Well, if you're not going to Chicago and you're not from here, there's really not much to see here.

/except tornado damage here in Washington, but that's mostly been cleaned up. The rebuilding's going amazingly fast.
 
2014-08-16 11:46:40 AM
www.laweekly.com

Hey Beavis, what happens to a cow when you tip it?

What?

It falls over.

Huh-huh, huh-huh
 
2014-08-16 12:23:20 PM

DigitalCoffee: Haven't even gotten to the cow tipping part yet. I'm still trying to wrap my brain around the idea of Republican Day.

/is that like when Disney holds Gay Day? Only with Republicans?
//nttawwt
///LGBTQR?


The IL state fair is a political event, through and through. Wednesday is always Governor's Day, which also serves as the party day for the Governor's Party. The next day, the opposition gets their turn.

And yes, they are a lot like Disney's Gay Days: Lots of people in matching T-shirts trying to let you know their beliefs while eating fried food and riding rides.

And Aaron Schock. He is the common element between the two.

/first fair I didnt work since 1999
//actually got to take my kids
//REALLY miss having a gold cart
 
2014-08-16 12:36:22 PM
Democratic Gov. Pat Quinn is milking an Upstate-Downstate kerfuffle with Republican Bruce Rauner's running mate over an udderly moooo-ving issue: Cow Tipping.


wac.bc6c.edgecastcdn.net
 
2014-08-16 04:14:10 PM
img1.etsystatic.com
 
2014-08-16 04:51:36 PM

fusillade762: Sanguinetti

Makes me think of pasta made of blood or something.


It actually made me think of a prank from Penn & Teller's first book.  If you eat in a cafeteria or buffet with a pasta bar, you fill a plate with pasta except for a hollow in the center, fill that with marinara sauce, and cover that with more pasta---so the whole thing looks like a giant plate of sauceless pasta.

Then when you sit down with your friends, you pretend to stab your wrist with your fork, press it over the center of the plate, and GROAN  while rolling your eyes into the back of your head.
 
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