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(The Smoking Gun)   Rubbing one out while intoxicated on a neighbor's lawn chair is no way to go through life young lady   (thesmokinggun.com) divider line 94
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14196 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Aug 2014 at 9:15 AM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



94 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-15 12:44:53 AM  
How do you get intoxicated on a lawn chair?
 
2014-08-15 08:49:18 AM  
I want to party with...

*clicks link*

Uh, never mind.
 
2014-08-15 09:02:58 AM  
Speaking on behalf of horny but non-genitaled lawn chairs everywhere, I say let this woman succumb to the powerful, weight-bearing sexiness of the inanimate but powerfully masculine folding chairs, you killjoys.
 
2014-08-15 09:18:36 AM  
Did the cops have to chaise her?
 
2014-08-15 09:19:08 AM  
...or is it?
 
2014-08-15 09:19:22 AM  
She got her WHAT stuck between the slats?
 
2014-08-15 09:19:34 AM  
Pics of her rubbing one out or it didn't happen.
 
2014-08-15 09:19:38 AM  
www.thesmokinggun.com

I would have watched and probably not complained.
 
2014-08-15 09:20:05 AM  
Comments section is full of racism and xenophobia.

... and the words "squish taco"
 
2014-08-15 09:21:39 AM  
ugh subby, I would have to disagree.  It sounds like a great way to go through life
 
2014-08-15 09:22:34 AM  
33 with a 15 year old.  Now it makes sense.
 
2014-08-15 09:24:29 AM  
I love that it says she AND her kids watched...as if it never got to a point where the mom said, "Um....go in the other room, kids...."
 
2014-08-15 09:24:36 AM  
FTFA:  Sila Hans, 33, was arrested earlier this month by cops responding to a report of "an intoxicated female exposing herself and urinating on the lawn" of a Seattle residence.

So Hans was solo...?
 
2014-08-15 09:24:52 AM  

Peter von Nostrand: I want to party with...

*clicks link*

Uh, never mind.


Remember this when you turn 50, and reflect back on why you didn't get laid nearly enough.
 
2014-08-15 09:25:15 AM  
I dunno, that sounds about right.
 
2014-08-15 09:26:05 AM  
I'm ok with this.
 
2014-08-15 09:27:10 AM  
What a dawg.
 
2014-08-15 09:27:21 AM  
sort_of_want_Al_Bundy.jpg
 
2014-08-15 09:27:44 AM  

ElLoco: I'm ok with this.


Sounds like a fun girl to me.
 
2014-08-15 09:29:00 AM  
...I would.
 
2014-08-15 09:29:43 AM  
Talk about your victim-less crime, geez
 
2014-08-15 09:29:45 AM  
GIS for "Sila Hans" brings up some very interesting images
 
2014-08-15 09:30:54 AM  
 
2014-08-15 09:31:05 AM  
I thought "rubbing one out" meant rubbing with one's hand, or at most a hand tool. Was that guy who farked a hole in a picnic table "rubbing out," or just farking it?

See, these grammar questions are important. I'd rather the police reports say I was "rubbing" without mentioning the dog.
 
2014-08-15 09:31:14 AM  
I am praying to Vishnu to let me be reborn as a lawn chair.
 
2014-08-15 09:32:02 AM  
Based on the comments in the other thread about the cops in Ferguson, you'd think they'd have waited until the authorities did a full week-long investigation before releasing the name of the person.
 
2014-08-15 09:32:02 AM  
She smacked her taco? Was it being bad? Naughty, naughty taco!
 
2014-08-15 09:32:19 AM  
I'd have walked out and joined her and started beating it like it owed me money.
 
2014-08-15 09:33:29 AM  
Textbook MySpace photo angle. Will reserve judgement til further evidence proves hittability or not.
 
2014-08-15 09:33:41 AM  
www.ramblingjohn.com
Was it good for you?

freetomato: Did the cops have to chaise her?


You accusing them of lying down on the job?
 
2014-08-15 09:35:32 AM  
What a lawn chair might look like:


www.thesmokinggun.com
 
2014-08-15 09:35:54 AM  

gerbilpox: I thought "rubbing one out" meant rubbing with one's hand, or at most a hand tool. Was that guy who farked a hole in a picnic table "rubbing out," or just farking it?

See, these grammar questions are important. I'd rather the police reports say I was "rubbing" without mentioning the dog.


I agree, it should have been described as "rockin' the canoe"
 
2014-08-15 09:36:07 AM  

stuhayes2010: [www.thesmokinggun.com image 300x275]

I would have watched and probably not complained.


I was thinking of giving her a "mulligan" on this photo, and let's see if it's not possible for her to come up with one a bit more flattering... I think there could be some real potential here.  And possibly a good use for those old school lawn chairs that have been stuck up in the back of your garage all these years.
 
2014-08-15 09:42:08 AM  

jbrad47128: stuhayes2010: [www.thesmokinggun.com image 300x275]

I would have watched and probably not complained.

I was thinking of giving her a "mulligan" on this photo, and let's see if it's not possible for her to come up with one a bit more flattering... I think there could be some real potential here.  And possibly a good use for those old school lawn chairs that have been stuck up in the back of your garage all these years.


Ten bucks says she's fat
 
2014-08-15 09:43:59 AM  
www.iconsoffright.com
 
2014-08-15 09:44:41 AM  

abhorrent1: Sila Hans


What is up with all the action figure pictures?
 
2014-08-15 09:49:57 AM  
I clicked expecting the classic bad naked. But she is only about a 2 drink gal, mildly impressed. And I would have killed the batteries in the video recorder before i called the cops, or asked her for a "reason" not to call them.  winkwink, nudgenudge
 
2014-08-15 09:50:16 AM  
Google turns up the best "man, I'm tanked" mugshot in recent memory. Plus the best middle name in eternity.
 
2014-08-15 09:51:15 AM  
octomom?
 
2014-08-15 09:54:35 AM  
This was an episode on Seinfeld. Or maybe I'm thinking of this.
 
2014-08-15 09:59:00 AM  

Peter von Nostrand: I want to party with...

*clicks link*

Uh, never mind.


Subby had me at "young lady", then I clicked the link......
 
2014-08-15 09:59:39 AM  

stuhayes2010: [www.thesmokinggun.com image 300x275]

I would have watched and probably not complained.


I would have asked her to try some of the indoor furniture.
 
2014-08-15 10:00:56 AM  
Yes Cletus Jr., your mother was the Seattle Chair Humper.
 
2014-08-15 10:01:49 AM  

Lord-Fark-Wad: Comments section is full of racism and xenophobia.

... and the words "squish taco"


I prefer the "Humping the chairs that Americans won't... " but different strokes; different folks.
 
2014-08-15 10:05:38 AM  

stuhayes2010: [www.thesmokinggun.com image 300x275]

I would have watched and probably not complained.


Beware the Myspace angle.

www.thesmokinggun.com


manueve.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-15 10:07:36 AM  

BitwiseShift: This was an episode on Seinfeld. Or maybe I'm thinking of this.


Or This
 
2014-08-15 10:08:33 AM  
Did she get her slit caught in the slats?
 
2014-08-15 10:09:15 AM  
One lonely ballsack conundrum reference?

Disappoint.
 
2014-08-15 10:10:03 AM  

AngryDragon: 33 with a 15 year old.  Now it makes sense.


She seems like the type that makes such sound, positive decisions.
 
2014-08-15 10:15:50 AM  

stuhayes2010: [www.thesmokinggun.com image 300x275]

I would have watched and probably not complained.


I would have watched, and enjoyed, but from a safe distance, and wearing eye protection.
 
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