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(Daily Mail)   Oh yeah, you know those cute little bracelets your kids are making? Ring the cancer alarm   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 59
    More: Scary  
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12388 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 Aug 2014 at 2:11 AM (14 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



59 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-14 10:05:39 PM  
DINGDINGDINGDING.....
How about we just ring the fear alarm instead.
 
2014-08-14 10:33:03 PM  
This just in: Everything gives you cancer. EVERY. THING.
 
2014-08-14 11:45:11 PM  
its use is strictly controlled - particularly in toys that could go in the mouth.

So don't chew on the damn things.
 
2014-08-14 11:53:19 PM  
WARNING: This planet contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm.
 
2014-08-15 12:02:06 AM  
Seeing as this is from the Daily Mail, I am going to safely assume that the bracelets are all made out of dietary fiber and vitamins.
 
2014-08-15 12:55:03 AM  
Phthey're after me lucky charms!
 
2014-08-15 01:16:21 AM  
I can't even count how many friends I've lost to Slap Bracelets. RIP.
 
2014-08-15 01:22:26 AM  
Daily Mail warning as consignments of 'news' are found to contain massive levels of bullshiat
 
2014-08-15 02:15:39 AM  

fusillade762: its use is strictly controlled - particularly in toys that could go in the mouth.

So don't chew on the damn things.


Yeah, this. If your child is old enough to be using Loom Bands, they should be old enough not to be sucking on the little charms all day long--and if they are, you have more immediate problems than whether she might get cancer some day.
 
2014-08-15 02:18:44 AM  

fusillade762: its use is strictly controlled - particularly in toys that could go in the mouth.

So don't chew on the damn things.


In other words, feed your damned kids so they don't try to eat everything else.
 
2014-08-15 02:31:42 AM  
Can we just get a list of things that don't cause cancer? It would make life much simpler.
 
2014-08-15 02:33:41 AM  
So Livestrong bracelets cause cancer?

I knew it!
 
2014-08-15 02:33:57 AM  
Ah phthalates. I once told an anti-vaxxer about them. She stopped using her computer.
 
2014-08-15 02:42:25 AM  
Hurray! Another technology that will put even more people out of work! Keep it up, and how will the common man be able to afford a meal at McDonald's or any other restaurant? The answer is that they won't, which will end up putting the McDonald's and all other restaurants out of business, eliminating even more jobs. These corporations are short-sighted and will end up f*cking over the economy and the entire population.
 
2014-08-15 02:45:50 AM  

jimbelina: Hurray! Another technology that will put even more people out of work! Keep it up, and how will the common man be able to afford a meal at McDonald's or any other restaurant? The answer is that they won't, which will end up putting the McDonald's and all other restaurants out of business, eliminating even more jobs. These corporations are short-sighted and will end up f*cking over the economy and the entire population.


Ignore, wrong thread. Damn, the internet is hard.
 
2014-08-15 02:47:06 AM  

ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha: Daily Mail warning as consignments of 'news' are found to contain massive levels of bullshiat


Yeah. They needed another shtick when it became politically incorrect to blame everything on the "Pakies."
 
2014-08-15 02:53:10 AM  
The fact we let them ship toxic shiat here as marketable goods is as depressing as it is hilarious.
 
2014-08-15 02:55:18 AM  

jimbelina: Can we just get a list of things that don't cause cancer? It would make life much simpler.


The only thing that doesn't cause cancer is total cell death.
 
2014-08-15 02:56:32 AM  

Gyrfalcon: fusillade762: its use is strictly controlled - particularly in toys that could go in the mouth.

So don't chew on the damn things.

Yeah, this. If your child is old enough to be using Loom Bands, they should be old enough not to be sucking on the little charms all day long--and if they are, you have more immediate problems than whether she might get cancer some day.


True, but their younger siblings might still be in that "oral fixation" stage.

/let's see who's first to spike that set
//got your seat right over there
///threesies
 
2014-08-15 03:01:30 AM  
FTA: Officials urging public to only buy genuine products

So what is this "Trading Standards" group that did the testing and issued this advice? A government agency? The British "Underwriters' Laboratories?" Or is this going to turn into another of those "buy domestic, Mexicans piss in Corona" deals?
 
2014-08-15 03:03:14 AM  
Let's blame China. And then let's find out who is importing this stuff.
 
2014-08-15 03:05:39 AM  
 
2014-08-15 03:05:48 AM  
I refuse to believe this nonsense. China would NEVER ship dangerous products to the US.
 
2014-08-15 03:11:36 AM  

jimbelina: Can we just get a list of things that don't cause cancer? It would make life much simpler.


Sex
Water
Oxygen

/ok, water and oxygen probably cause cancer
 
2014-08-15 03:16:54 AM  

SquiggsIN: jimbelina: Can we just get a list of things that don't cause cancer? It would make life much simpler.

Everything but pot causes cancer.  Smoke up!


I'm pretty sure pot causes cancer, insanity and all things evil. It will also make you kill your family, your loved ones, and your pets. My parents told me so!
 
2014-08-15 03:23:59 AM  

Shazam999: Ah phthalates. I once told an anti-vaxxer about them. She stopped using her computer.


Can we begin telling them oxygen causes cancer? Be worth it.
 
2014-08-15 03:26:22 AM  
www.savedbythebellreviewed.com
 
2014-08-15 03:30:52 AM  

brimed03: FTA: Officials urging public to only buy genuine products

So what is this "Trading Standards" group that did the testing and issued this advice? A government agency? The British "Underwriters' Laboratories?" Or is this going to turn into another of those "buy domestic, Mexicans piss in Corona" deals?


They're the relevant uk government agency.

/ Don't eat rubber bands, folks. They're fattening.
 
2014-08-15 03:53:11 AM  
Phthalates are farking everywhere. We should probably avoid too many in children's bracelets, but it's waaay too late to avoid contact with them altogether. And they're really not that dangerous unless you slather creams made of them all over yourself daily.
 
2014-08-15 03:53:26 AM  
The safer, more trendy alternative:

www.duniamagazine.com

i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-15 03:57:03 AM  

kling_klang_bed: The safer, more trendy alternative:

[www.duniamagazine.com image 480x384]

[i.imgur.com image 576x1023]


Well, the second image is fake and even the firs tan extreme example, but sure.
 
2014-08-15 03:58:17 AM  

NobleHam: Well, the second image is fake and even the firs tan first is an extreme example, but sure.


FTFM. Weird glitch.
 
2014-08-15 04:05:09 AM  

kling_klang_bed: The safer, more trendy alternative:

[www.duniamagazine.com image 480x384]

[i.imgur.com image 576x1023]


If it's wrong, I don't want to be right.
 
2014-08-15 04:06:36 AM  

red5ish: kling_klang_bed: The safer, more trendy alternative:

[www.duniamagazine.com image 480x384]

[i.imgur.com image 576x1023]

If it's wrong, I don't want to be right.


I should have said if loving you is wrong, I don't want to be right.
And it probably is wrong.
But that was magnificent.
 
2014-08-15 04:20:55 AM  

New Farkin User Name: jimbelina: Can we just get a list of things that don't cause cancer? It would make life much simpler.

Sex
Water
Oxygen

/ok, water and oxygen probably cause cancer


You know sex can lead to some kinds of cancer, right?
 
2014-08-15 05:11:41 AM  
POUND THE ALARM???
nativetongueonline.com
OMG, Wrong thread, sorry.
 
2014-08-15 05:15:22 AM  

70Ford: POUND THE ALARM???
[nativetongueonline.com image 600x450]
OMG, Wrong thread, sorry.


This post just gave me cancer.
 
2014-08-15 06:00:49 AM  

jimbelina: Can we just get a list of things that don't cause cancer? It would make life much simpler.


Here's the official list:
 
2014-08-15 06:09:27 AM  

cygnusx13: jimbelina: Can we just get a list of things that don't cause cancer? It would make life much simpler.

Here's the official list:


Now now, not everything causes cancer.

Some things cause strokes and heart attacks, but not cancer.
 
2014-08-15 06:34:54 AM  
Since this is the Daily Mail, I assume that the damn things actually cure cancer.
 
2014-08-15 07:11:24 AM  

kling_klang_bed: The safer, more trendy alternative:

[www.duniamagazine.com image 480x384]

[i.imgur.com image 576x1023]



img.fark.net

www.primagames.com

Now it makes sense.


Jebus, tell me someone photoshopped that. That ain't right. I wonder if you took the rings off of her head would flop all around.
 
2014-08-15 07:34:11 AM  
Can I still dirty dance while doing jenkum at rainbow parties?
 
2014-08-15 07:52:05 AM  

MythDragon: kling_klang_bed: The safer, more trendy alternative:

[www.duniamagazine.com image 480x384]

[i.imgur.com image 576x1023]


[img.fark.net image 576x1023]

[www.primagames.com image 537x1124]

Now it makes sense.


Jebus, tell me someone photoshopped that. That ain't right. I wonder if you took the rings off of her head would flop all around.


Someone photoshopped that.
 
2014-08-15 08:00:08 AM  

cc_rider: It's absolutely true, because I read it in the Daily Fail


Dammit,  I wanted to post that.
 
2014-08-15 08:08:39 AM  

SquiggsIN: jimbelina: Can we just get a list of things that don't cause cancer? It would make life much simpler.

Everything but pot causes cancer.  Smoke up!


Pot smoke is carcinogenic. Better plan - drink or eat products made from it.
 
2014-08-15 08:13:09 AM  
Tests revealed some loom band 'charms' contained high levels of phthalates

Phthufferin' phthuccotash, not phthalates!
 
2014-08-15 08:28:28 AM  

jimbelina: jimbelina: Hurray! Another technology that will put even more people out of work! Keep it up, and how will the common man be able to afford a meal at McDonald's or any other restaurant? The answer is that they won't, which will end up putting the McDonald's and all other restaurants out of business, eliminating even more jobs. These corporations are short-sighted and will end up f*cking over the economy and the entire population.

Ignore, wrong thread. Damn, the internet is hard.


Sounds like you could use an automatic poster to avoid mistakes like this.
 
2014-08-15 08:29:12 AM  
Spit.


Spit causes the cancer.
 
2014-08-15 08:53:26 AM  

red5ish: kling_klang_bed: The safer, more trendy alternative:

[www.duniamagazine.com image 480x384]

[i.imgur.com image 576x1023]

If it's wrong, I don't want to be right.


If its Wong, I don't want to be right.
 
2014-08-15 08:53:26 AM  
I don't get you guys. The daily mail is a real English tabloid and it covers the same new as the sun, star, telegraph, i,mirror, independent, and even the guardian. If you disbelieve the news in the daily mail, which is about as legit as all American tabloids and news sites, how do you know exactly WHAT is real anymore?
/takes the blue pill.

PS, those wretched loom bands are mad popular over here, and I've seen loads of people, not just kids, busily weaving away. And the loom it's self is crap, people seem to make the most amazing bands just using their fingers, pencils, and yes, frighteningly, their teeth to snag and loop those tiny little rubber bands.
 
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