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(The Indy Channel)   "No, no, occifer, I haven't been drinking. You see, I have a condition"   ( theindychannel.com) divider line
    More: Scary  
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5480 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Aug 2014 at 6:48 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-14 04:55:10 PM  
What seems to be the officer problem?
 
2014-08-14 05:06:33 PM  
Could be worse better.
Could be Auto-Distillery syndrome.
 
2014-08-14 05:24:29 PM  
So did the DUI charge stick??
 
2014-08-14 05:46:30 PM  
You'd think that since the condition came with stomach pains the FIRST thing you'd try would be a change of diet.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-08-14 06:47:23 PM  
On one hand, there is no intent requirement for the crime of DUI so the charge should stick.

On the other hand, he has a potential involuntary intoxication defense. If you willingly drink, what happens next is your problem. If you get drunk through no fault of your own, you can plead intoxication as a defense.  But that one beer earlier could sink him.
 
2014-08-14 06:52:44 PM  
What's his Fark handle?
 
2014-08-14 06:55:17 PM  
Just eat a few campden tablets. That usually works to kill off the wild yeast when I'm making wine.

//not a doctor
 
2014-08-14 06:56:47 PM  

TheHighlandHowler: So did the DUI charge stick??


Just to make sure, the cops beat him anyway.
 
2014-08-14 06:58:18 PM  
This strikes me as a particarly creative effort to get out of a DUI.
 
2014-08-14 06:59:15 PM  
I was thinking something like this....not the issue per the article.

http://www.reviewjournal.com/news/crime-courts/video-shows-officers- be ating-motorist-diabetic-shock
 
2014-08-14 06:59:21 PM  
Best not to drive when you have a condition.

i2.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-14 07:02:19 PM  
"I felt at university things were starting to get really out of control. During these episodes, I'd get so drunk, that I was completely wasted after only a few drinks."

Sounds like a typical day at college
 
2014-08-14 07:02:44 PM  
I once got a DUI when someone slammed into the back of my car, pushing it into the truck in front of me.  I bit my tongue and could not really speak coherently.  I did beat it since my BAC was 0.0, but the judge still ordered me to go to drug counseling for some reason or other.  Also of note, the judge's name was Frank Burns (he did not look at all like the guy from M*A*S*H).
/csb
 
2014-08-14 07:03:06 PM  
That's awesome. Can they induce it?
 
2014-08-14 07:03:36 PM  
Heard of this at least a couple of times before over the years.  I'm no doctor, but there should be some literature out there on it.  The body basically makes its own alcohol from sugars and starches you eat.
 
2014-08-14 07:09:21 PM  
One of the few things I'm very proud of about myself is my very high tolerance to alcohol.
Some day I'll be pulled over for a DUI and I'll just the officer "Don't bother, I'm drunk.  And I wouldn't want to break your Breathalyzer."
And then they'll find the last parts of that dead hooker in my trunk that I keep forgetting to drop off the bridge.
 
2014-08-14 07:15:12 PM  
I aM am brewery...your agrument is invalard.
 
2014-08-14 07:20:17 PM  

Combustion: TheHighlandHowler: So did the DUI charge stick??

Just to make sure, the cops beat him anyway.


And shot his dog.
 
2014-08-14 07:20:48 PM  
These hipsters and their micro-breweries are getting a bit out of hand.
 
2014-08-14 07:36:55 PM  
This seems like it would be pretty easy to fix.  Vagisil doesn't taste too awful.
 
2014-08-14 07:37:14 PM  

JonnyBGoode: These hipsters and their micro-breweries are getting a bit out of hand.


+1
 
2014-08-14 07:39:33 PM  

berylman: This seems like it would be pretty easy to fix.  Vagisil doesn't taste too awful.


I don't want to think about how you learned that.
 
2014-08-14 07:47:11 PM  

berylman: This seems like it would be pretty easy to fix.  Vagisil doesn't taste too awful.

 
2014-08-14 07:56:33 PM  
Maybe he just needs some of that yogurt that helps you poop.
 
2014-08-14 07:57:51 PM  
Guy gets drunk on sandwiches and he's complaining.
 
2014-08-14 08:00:58 PM  

berylman: This seems like it would be pretty easy to fix.  Vagisil doesn't taste too awful.


I can think of two ways you could have found that out. Both are disgusting.
 
2014-08-14 08:03:33 PM  

felching pen: berylman: This seems like it would be pretty easy to fix.  Vagisil doesn't taste too awful.

I can think of two ways you could have found that out. Both are disgusting.


Let's hope it was this one:

images.static-bluray.com
 
2014-08-14 08:06:08 PM  

JesseL: berylman: This seems like it would be pretty easy to fix.  Vagisil doesn't taste too awful.

I don't want to think about how you learned that.


A friend of mine once accidentally brushed his teeth with it. That'll teach him to pay attention instead of just grabbing a random tube.
 
2014-08-14 08:09:01 PM  

felching pen: Both are disgusting.


Says a guy named felching pen. Huzzah!
 
2014-08-14 08:17:02 PM  
Eat carbs, get drunk. Works for me.
 
2014-08-14 08:19:04 PM  

mod3072: JesseL: berylman: This seems like it would be pretty easy to fix.  Vagisil doesn't taste too awful.

I don't want to think about how you learned that.

A friend of mine once accidentally brushed his teeth with it. That'll teach him to pay attention instead of just grabbing a random tube.


The CVS brand hydrocortisone early in the morning pre-contacts looks one hell of a lot like a tube of Colgate, just fyi.

No similarities in taste.
 
2014-08-14 08:30:50 PM  
I may be ever so slightly jealous, ifI could diet control it.
 
2014-08-14 08:35:31 PM  

caddisfly: Guy gets drunk on sandwiches and he's complaining.


I actually lol'd.

/read it in Greg Giraldo's voice.
 
2014-08-14 09:04:09 PM  

fusillade762: You'd think that since the condition came with stomach pains the FIRST thing you'd try would be a change of diet.


You would think...but even doctors get it wrong, when they develop a theory.

I have a book called "How Doctors Think", which relates several cases where doctors refused to change a diagnosis once they were convinced of one. In one, a woman with celiac disease suffered for a couple decades because her doctors decided she had an eating disorder and her constant vomiting and weight fluctuations were self-induced.

So, same thing here. The doctors figured the stomach pain and high BAC were caused by alcoholism--so you can bet they were never going to tell him, "Maybe it's not! Let's try changing your diet!"
 
2014-08-14 09:04:22 PM  

Billy Liar: Heard of this at least a couple of times before over the years.  I'm no doctor, but there should be some literature out there on it.  The body basically makes its own alcohol from sugars and starches you eat.


The literature is thin, only 6 articles on pubmed that I saw. These case studies are mostly on infants with messed up intestines. Seems they call for diet change (low carb) and antifungal treatment.

Of note, one article was for Med Sci Law:

"With reliable gas chromatographic methods of analysis, the concentrations of endogenous ethanol in peripheral venous blood of healthy individuals, as well as those suffering from various metabolic disorders (diabetes, hepatitis, cirrhosis) ranged from 0-0.08 mg/dl. These concentrations are far too low to have any forensic or medical significance. The notion that a motorist's state of intoxication was caused by endogenously produced ethanol lacks merit." (emphasis mine)

citation: Med Sci Law2000 Jul;40(3):206-15.

Doesn't rule out the possibility, but until new stuff is published you aren't going to get away with that one.
 
2014-08-14 09:07:56 PM  
Some guys have all the luck.
 
2014-08-14 09:53:14 PM  
Massive intestinal yeast infection? *checks article* Well whaddya know. Dude's a walking brewery!
 
2014-08-14 11:02:23 PM  

AlHarris31: Billy Liar: Heard of this at least a couple of times before over the years.  I'm no doctor, but there should be some literature out there on it.  The body basically makes its own alcohol from sugars and starches you eat.

The literature is thin, only 6 articles on pubmed that I saw. These case studies are mostly on infants with messed up intestines. Seems they call for diet change (low carb) and antifungal treatment.

Of note, one article was for Med Sci Law:

"With reliable gas chromatographic methods of analysis, the concentrations of endogenous ethanol in peripheral venous blood of healthy individuals, as well as those suffering from various metabolic disorders (diabetes, hepatitis, cirrhosis) ranged from 0-0.08 mg/dl. These concentrations are far too low to have any forensic or medical significance. The notion that a motorist's state of intoxication was caused by endogenously produced ethanol lacks merit." (emphasis mine)

citation: Med Sci Law2000 Jul;40(3):206-15.

Doesn't rule out the possibility, but until new stuff is published you aren't going to get away with that one.


No studies have been really been done, but authentic cases have been documented and aren't hard to prove. In one case the locked the guy in a cell for a couple of days with no access to alcohol, yet his BAC continued to rise.
 
2014-08-15 12:55:01 AM  

Ryker's Peninsula: Some day I'll be pulled over for a DUI and I'll just the officer "Don't bother, I'm drunk."


I said that!!

/I only needed one DUI to learn my lesson
//I also thanked that occifer for possibly saving my life that night
 
2014-08-15 01:33:34 AM  
They had this on "Royal Pains" a few weeks ago. Episode 6 from this season: "Everybody Loves Ray, Man".
 
2014-08-15 12:02:03 PM  
Starkle starkle little twink
Who was I the hell you think
No occifer I am not
Under the alcofluence of incahol
Thought some thinkle peep I are


(true story)
 
2014-08-16 06:26:29 AM  

ElLoco: mod3072: JesseL: berylman: This seems like it would be pretty easy to fix.  Vagisil doesn't taste too awful.

I don't want to think about how you learned that.

A friend of mine once accidentally brushed his teeth with it. That'll teach him to pay attention instead of just grabbing a random tube.

The CVS brand hydrocortisone early in the morning pre-contacts looks one hell of a lot like a tube of Colgate, just fyi.

No similarities in taste.


Colgate is gross. That's gross. Aquafresh, man, that's the grail.
 
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