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(Huffington Post)   "11 Alcoholism warning signs" Do you often wake up in bed next to a goat? Warning. Do you come home from work and your cat says to you "the shiat you said to me last night" BINGO. Do you often find yourself on Fark? MAYDAY   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 87
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4348 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Aug 2014 at 11:08 AM (5 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-14 08:53:59 AM
Is this going to be a beer snob thread, or one of those best scotch threads?
 
2014-08-14 08:57:23 AM
This should go to the main page immediately after the "we drink less alcohol now than we did then" headline.
 
2014-08-14 08:57:46 AM
11 ish too many. 1 ish not enough
 
2014-08-14 09:17:06 AM
37.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-14 09:20:47 AM
I have to admit that I have posted on Fark while drunk many, many times, and been a little embarrassed about it the next day.
 
2014-08-14 09:21:30 AM
If a college sophomore isn't qualified to write this article, I don't know who is.

Hopefully we'll have some follow-up stories about sustaining life-long marriages (penned by newlyweds) and a few virgins' accounts on what they believe constitutes real sexiness.
 
2014-08-14 09:39:02 AM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-14 10:10:30 AM
I had to give up drinking so much

/giving up Fark is going to be a choice
//and between people getting pissy about contests and an increasing number of trolls, that choice may come soon
 
2014-08-14 10:48:18 AM
In my first dew (sic) weeks of treatment, I learned that hangovers were actually withdrawals.

Sounds like this woman is arguing from a real informed position.
 
2014-08-14 11:10:20 AM
izquotes.com
 
2014-08-14 11:10:24 AM
12. You're drunk while reading this on a Thursday morning...

...oddly missing.
 
2014-08-14 11:10:51 AM
images.picturesdepot.com
 
2014-08-14 11:11:41 AM
Patient; Some nights I come home and blow chunks.
Doc; many people who drink too much throw up
Patient; Chunks is my dog
 
2014-08-14 11:12:00 AM
Ask anyone who works at a jail or ER how many problems alcohol leads to.
 
2014-08-14 11:12:35 AM
My favourite drinking game is "take a shot every time you take a shot".
 
2014-08-14 11:14:39 AM
10.  Your physical appearance is changing, and not for the better

My ass.  That nasty chick across the bar is getting a lot prettier after my sixth scotch.
 
2014-08-14 11:15:18 AM
As a recovered alcoholic (4 years as of August, in AA) most of that list just sounds like 'I was in college'. Just because you drink a lot doesn't mean you're an alcoholic, or that you need a recovery program.
 
2014-08-14 11:15:41 AM

Buttknuckle: Ask anyone who works at a jail or ER how many problems people who can't handle their alcohol lead to.



FTFClarity

/Me? oh hell yes I'm a drunk.
//I know it, though.
 
2014-08-14 11:16:29 AM

baconbeard: My favourite drinking game is "take a shot every time you take a shot".


This sounds like a very fun game. May I play?
 
2014-08-14 11:16:47 AM
Homebrew thread!  I'll be firing up the burner this Saturday after a too long hiatus and I've also got part of the supplies I need for a little cider experiment.  Going to be making 3 batches of cider, two with base ingredients and different yeasts, and a third from a kit with one of the yeast.  Mmmmm cider.  I also need to finish my keezer collar.  That project has been near complete for way too long.
 
2014-08-14 11:16:49 AM
Wake up with goats, you say?

img.fark.net
 
2014-08-14 11:18:19 AM

baconbeard: My favourite drinking game is "take a shot every time you take a shot".


Void loop
{
Takeshot: add 0.02 BAC
}
 
2014-08-14 11:21:31 AM
www.drunkard.com
 
2014-08-14 11:23:10 AM
My mom was convinced I was an alcoholic. She was always mentioning it in some way. Then my dad drank me under the table and I haven't heard a word about it since.
 
2014-08-14 11:23:21 AM
jacqwashburn.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-14 11:24:24 AM
They're only warning signs if you think alcoholism is a problem. Otherwise, they're just life.
 
2014-08-14 11:26:07 AM
You're sitting in the basement of a church drinking bad coffee listening to other alcoholics talk about recovery because the courts said you had to go.
 
2014-08-14 11:26:36 AM
31.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-14 11:35:22 AM
"Really? I took a dump in your tuba?"
 
2014-08-14 11:37:54 AM
In my house, the goat wakes up next to ME.
 
2014-08-14 11:39:05 AM
The ONLY time I ever considered giving up alcohol was like 25 years ago. The last thing I remember from that night was the sight of the Captain Morgan's bottle going *glug*glug*glug*, little happy bubbles making their merry way upward from my lips.

I woke with a near legendary hangover, in the outside dog house with my friend's dog, whom I'd apparently spray painted orange, looking rather pissed off and perhaps a bit forlorn.

Oh, and I had a traffic cone, a pen from the local Holiday Inn, and no underpants. NONE of my friends would tell me about what happened for several days, and at one point had me convinced that the dog and I had shared a conjugal evening. Thankfully I later found that was not the case, that I had only decided I wanted to go swimming in said Holiday Inn, stripped part way before they could stop me, and was thrown out by staff.

I did slow down, though. Until I got married.....

/still don't know where I got the traffic cone
 
2014-08-14 11:39:20 AM

BATMANATEE: "Really? I took a dump in your tuba?"


no, it was a sousaphone, but that's not what's important right now
 
2014-08-14 11:43:24 AM
I don't drink anymore
.
I don't drink any less either.
 
2014-08-14 11:49:59 AM
media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com
 
2014-08-14 11:52:38 AM
If the cat says anything to you but "meow," drinking is the least of your problems...
 
2014-08-14 11:55:55 AM

sigdiamond2000: In my first dew (sic) weeks of treatment, I learned that hangovers were actually withdrawals.

Sounds like this woman is arguing from a real informed position.



stoppedreadingthere.jpeg
 
2014-08-14 11:59:36 AM

Buttknuckle: Ask anyone who works at a jail or ER how many problems alcohol leads to.


Ask any fireman how many problems electricity leads to, while you're at it.
...sheesh!
 
2014-08-14 12:03:58 PM
Danny Bonaduce said it best.  You can really tell you are an alcoholic when you are trying to hide it from other people. Litterally hiding little airplane bottles of vodka, in plants and stuff.  Then you forget you put them there at all, and find them later.

As soon as that exact thing was happening to me, I knew I had more of a problem than I thought.
 
2014-08-14 12:08:23 PM
I have a dish towel that says "I like my water with barley and hops".  Just like God intended.
 
2014-08-14 12:13:25 PM
"Do you often wake up up in bed next to a goat?"

Only when I go to bed with one. And by the way, how often is often?


/But you build ONE bridge...
 
2014-08-14 12:17:34 PM
And as my sister's friends from when I was 12 in 1975 would tell you, I was a "sexual deviant" long before I even considered drinking alcohol. They are two separate issues.

So anybody who stops blowing goats when they quit drinking was only posing as a pervert. Damn hipsters.
 
2014-08-14 12:18:34 PM

BATMANATEE: "Really? I took a dump in your tuba?"


Goddamn, do I love that entire bit

"I went to rehab in wine country, just to keep my options open"
 
2014-08-14 12:19:23 PM

Schmerd1948: In my house, the goat wakes up next to ME.


What kind of parties do you go to where anybody sleeps?  That's testicles and taints on your face with pictures to prove it at the parties I go to
 
2014-08-14 12:20:39 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Schmerd1948: In my house, the goat wakes up next to ME.

What kind of parties do you go to where anybody sleeps?  That's testicles and taints on your face with pictures to prove it at the parties I go to


Can you send me the address of where these parties are?

So I can avoid them.  Yeah.
 
2014-08-14 12:27:37 PM
As an alcoholic, I've nothing to say to this.
 
2014-08-14 12:30:06 PM
Robin Williams is barely in the grave and you're stealing his material, subby?
 
2014-08-14 12:31:32 PM

durbnpoisn: Danny Bonaduce said it best.  You can really tell you are an alcoholic when you are trying to hide it from other people. Litterally hiding little airplane bottles of vodka, in plants and stuff.  Then you forget you put them there at all, and find them later.

As soon as that exact thing was happening to me, I knew I had more of a problem than I thought.


if you live with someone you're hiding it from,buy a giant bottle of the fizzy drink they hate most then fill it with your favourite spirit. Then realise you definitely have a problem when you're destroying good Russian standard by mixing it with tescos own cola.
 
2014-08-14 12:37:45 PM

dstanley: Robin Williams is barely in the grave and you're stealing his material, subby?


or honoring him? I could see both
 
2014-08-14 01:02:05 PM

sigdiamond2000: In my first dew (sic) weeks of treatment, I learned that hangovers were actually withdrawals.

Sounds like this woman is arguing from a real informed position.


"That it me hard "
 
2014-08-14 01:03:00 PM

kroonermanblack: As a recovered alcoholic (4 years as of August, in AA) most of that list just sounds like 'I was in college'. Just because you drink a lot doesn't mean you're an alcoholic, or that you need a recovery program.

Oh no, come on. You're an alcoholic, that means that everyone who drinks a little too much, ever, is probably an alcoholic too, and you should lecture them about the path they need to take to recovery. You should throw in some "God" stuff too, because you know we can't attend even one AA meeting without being completely brainwashed and forced to turn our lives over to GOD. And then we pathologically spread the word about that too. It's like we're addicted or something.

HST's Dead Carcass: You're sitting in the basement of a church drinking bad coffee listening to other alcoholics talk about recovery because the courts said you had to go.

there was a lawsuit. They can't do that anymore.
The courts, that is. AA never had anything to do with it.
 
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