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(The New York Times)   "My 14-year-old son brought in the mail today & was quite disturbed & fascinated by a 'gift' Lands' End sent us"   (nytimes.com) divider line 84
    More: Amusing, Lands' End, Conde Nast Traveler, Edgar Huber, HGTV  
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6904 clicks; posted to Business » on 14 Aug 2014 at 7:11 AM (9 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



84 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-13 11:08:59 PM  
Meh, prudes.
 
2014-08-13 11:19:09 PM  
So how long did the son disturbingly masturbate to the cover photo i ask?
 
2014-08-13 11:21:10 PM  
My kid had a subscription to EGM, which stopped publishing when he was about fifteen.  They fulfilled the remainder of his subscription term with Maxim.  He was pretty OK with that.

"Oh, boy!"
 
2014-08-13 11:32:37 PM  
I doubt he was disturbed... But I guess we don't want our boys to be attracted to naked girls anymore...it destroys the Liberal dream of having a gay kid.
 
2014-08-13 11:37:33 PM  

voltOhm: I doubt he was disturbed... But I guess we don't want our boys to be attracted to naked girls anymore...it destroys the Liberal dream of having a gay kid.


The Mother was disturbed, the boy either has the ghey or he made a beeline to his bunk with the magazine.
 
2014-08-14 12:01:36 AM  
Open butt, insert hurt.
 
2014-08-14 12:06:24 AM  
g1rm.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-14 12:12:12 AM  
None of you guys tell her about the internet. She'll really freak.
 
2014-08-14 12:19:25 AM  

voltOhm: Liberal


http://www.gop.com/2012-republican-platform_home/

Current  laws on all  forms of pornography and obscenity need to be vigorously enforced.


http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anti-pornography_movement_in_the_United _S tates

President Ronald Reagan announced his intention to set up a commission to study pornography.[13] The result was the appointment by Attorney General Edwin Meese in the spring of 1985 of a panel of 11 members, the majority of whom had established records as anti-pornography crusaders.[14]

...

According to Surgeon General Koop, "Although the evidence may be slim, we nevertheless know enough to conclude that pornography does present a clear and present danger to American public health"[15]


http://jezebel.com/5893274/rick-santorums-official-stance-on-porn-is -h ilarious

America is suffering a pandemic of harm from pornography. A wealth of research is now available demonstrating that pornography causes profound brain changes in both children and adults, resulting in widespread negative consequences. Addiction to pornography is now common for adults and even for some children. - Rick SantorumRAND PAUL

http://www.drjudithreisman.com/archives/2011/08/all_pornography.html

Pornography is "homo" sex-that is it's sex made by men to arouse men and boys. Pornography causes boys to have sex with themselves, psychopharmacologically conditioning them early to male sexual touch. Pornography claims our sisters, daughters, even our moms are non-human animals. Although human women, unlike dogs or monkeys, never go into "heat" ("estrus"), women and girls are posed by pornographers soliciting sex from everyone, everywhere, eye pupils dilated, intimate body parts and lips reddened, often bent over, rump up, to imitate primate females in "heat." Normal boys are unconsciously made anxious, angry, ashamed, fearful of these airbrushed, naked women "in rut/heat." Everywhere they wink, open their mouths, sigh, moan for penetration. Smiling paper and celluloid dolls promise everything and deliver nothing more than a man or boy can do for himself-thanks to the men who provide the sex images.
 
2014-08-14 12:38:24 AM  
OBSCENE

pornography

soft porn


Upon viewing the uncropped cover I must assume that Land's End customers are a bunch of uptight ninnies.
 
2014-08-14 12:41:52 AM  
The mother was going to have a look at the rest of the magazine but the pages were disturbingly and fascinatingly stuck together.
 
2014-08-14 12:45:19 AM  

fusillade762: OBSCENE

pornography

soft porn

Upon viewing the uncropped cover I must assume that Land's End customers are a bunch of uptight ninnies.


Look at that slut, staring out at the reader with those "come hither, stick your head between these two mounds of soft, pliant flesh and enjoy my titties, and let's get lei'd" looks.  And she's also got her thumb starting to work on the bikini bottom just inches above where a 14-year-old might foolishly want to explore.
 
2014-08-14 01:20:13 AM  
Huh.

And I just gave my son advice today how to download pr0n without getting viruses or malware.

Different goals on parenting, I guess...
 
2014-08-14 01:35:55 AM  
He's 14?  Don't worry, he's already fapped to Emily Ratajkowski in the unedited version of "Blurred Lines" at least a dozen times.
 
2014-08-14 01:57:35 AM  
Lands' End is free from Sears?  Lamds' End still sends out paper catalogs?
 
2014-08-14 02:00:37 AM  

teto85: Lands' End is free from Sears?  Lamnds' End still sends out paper catalogs?


FTFM
 
2014-08-14 03:14:50 AM  
i306.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-14 03:31:42 AM  
The list of things hausfraus decide to be outraged about is ridiculous. It's not like these people fell off a turnip truck from the 1950s. They choose to be outraged because they have nothing else. If they focused those energies on important things, we might be able to fix some shiat around here.
 
2014-08-14 05:45:32 AM  

TuteTibiImperes: He's 14?  Don't worry, he's already fapped to Emily Ratajkowski in the unedited version of "Blurred Lines" at least a dozen times.


A dozen? More like a score.

/His first score?
 
2014-08-14 06:21:04 AM  
This kinda reminds me of a CSB, so here goes:

My teenage self once discovered a charred Playboy in our fireplace. Marie, the woman who had helped raise me, a friend of my mom's, had bought me a copy of Playboy, thinking I was old enough to handle it. My mother thought otherwise and had decided to burn it.

Of course the only reason I recognized what had been burned was because I already had that issue.  It was a good one, too.
 
2014-08-14 07:28:24 AM  

fusillade762: OBSCENE

pornography

soft porn

Upon viewing the uncropped cover I must assume that Land's End customers are a bunch of uptight ninnies.


When I was 14, that would have disturbed me enough I'd have had to go to my room straight away...
 
2014-08-14 07:37:40 AM  

voltOhm: I doubt he was disturbed... But I guess we don't want our boys to be attracted to naked girls anymore...it destroys the Liberal dream of having a gay kid.


Hmmm. That's funny, it seems to be the right who has a problem with any type of female nudity.
 
2014-08-14 07:44:27 AM  
So now the euphemism for the tumor in the front of the boy's trousers is "disturbed"?

Boy gets wood.  Pearl clutching, Southern Belle, Christian woman, mommy has a thrombosis.
She needs to get laid.  She needs some quality time with her vibrator, since her hubby is off with his totally-not-gay pals doing totally-not-gay stuff and ignoring her needs until they express themselves as outrage that someone else might be enjoying something.
 
2014-08-14 07:52:51 AM  
I hope you're knocking on his door before you enter his room, otherwise you might be in for a, well, let's call it an education...
 
2014-08-14 08:01:21 AM  
I had to buy some uniform stuff from Land's End last week. At checkout they said 'we're giving you a subscription to Self magazine. If you don't want it, fill out this cancel form and Conde Nast will send you $12.'
 
2014-08-14 08:06:31 AM  
"I am appalled that Lands' End - which I have always thought of as a 'wholesome,' family-oriented company - would be the one to expose my son to pornography!"


www.lolwut.com
 
2014-08-14 08:10:29 AM  
The horror!
 
2014-08-14 08:14:13 AM  
14 years old in the age of the internet.

Sorry, Mom, but that kid is already burned out on seeing Albanian midgets give a Peruvian Axe Handle to a transsexual Gil Gerard impersonator while a live-action Trevi Fountain of horse urine rains down upon them and everyone else at that Denny's, he doesn't have the time to take out a jeweler's loupe and go over a GQ cover like it's the Zapruder film in search of a hint of areola
 
2014-08-14 08:15:15 AM  
If this kid hasn't seen more hardcore nudity on someone's computer by now, I'd be surprised that he's that sheltered/obedient.
 
2014-08-14 08:33:34 AM  
Hey, buttpained Mom, you do wash you son's sheets and underwear, don't you?
"Lord, how many times must I tell that boy, No eating custard in bed!"
 
2014-08-14 08:38:26 AM  

teto85: Lands' End is free from Sears?  Lamds' End still sends out paper catalogs?


Yeah, lots of places do.  Eddie Bauer, LL Bean, Pottery Barn, Pier One, Restoration Hardware, every women's clothing company on the planet...
 
2014-08-14 08:39:03 AM  
A catalog with a porn mag? That's nothing, I'm waiting for a followup to Abercrombie & Fitch's 2003 catalog + porn mag.
money.cnn.com
 
2014-08-14 08:40:30 AM  

Mr. Coffee Nerves: 14 years old in the age of the internet.

Sorry, Mom, but that kid is already burned out on seeing Albanian midgets give a Peruvian Axe Handle to a transsexual Gil Gerard impersonator while a live-action Trevi Fountain of horse urine rains down upon them and everyone else at that Denny's, he doesn't have the time to take out a jeweler's loupe and go over a GQ cover like it's the Zapruder film in search of a hint of areola


I see we have the save Albanian midget porn fetish.

*fist bump*
 
2014-08-14 08:49:33 AM  

DrunkenYodaZen: So how long did the son disturbingly masturbate to the cover photo i ask?


He's 14.  He moved onto hardcore porn a couple years back.
 
2014-08-14 08:52:05 AM  

dookdookdook: women and girls are posed by pornographers soliciting sex from everyone, everywhere, eye pupils dilated, intimate body parts and lips reddened, often bent over, rump up, to imitate primate females in "heat."


gbatemp.net
 
2014-08-14 08:54:27 AM  

Yaw String: Meh, prudes.

 
2014-08-14 09:02:23 AM  
I'm guessing mom never got on the Victoria's Secret mailing list.

Poor kid.
 
2014-08-14 09:32:38 AM  
Start getting catalogs from Delia*s. It is much more age-appropriate spanking material.

assets.shopcoffeetable.com4e2c4a75b45f91d165b8-f1343ecef75bfbb5129598191530262e.r38.cf2.rackcdn.com

 
2014-08-14 09:34:44 AM  
Your  14-year old son is "disturbed" by the picture of a hot nearly-naked woman on a  magazine cover.

This is the result of one of three possibilities:

1. You caught him gawking at the cover model, and he made up some bullshiat about being 'disturbed' so you wouldn't be mad at him.

2. He's gay.

3.  You've so completely farked up his perceptions of the world with your uber-christian guilt trips that he thinks natural female anatomy, and any feelings of being attracted to a naked woman, also a completely natural response, is somehow abnormal and 'disturbing.'  Congratulations, you created life-long psychological problems for your son.
 
2014-08-14 09:43:55 AM  

Dhusk: 3. You've so completely farked up his perceptions of the world with your uber-christian guilt trips that he thinks natural female anatomy, and any feelings of being attracted to a naked woman, also a completely natural response, is somehow abnormal and 'disturbing.' Congratulations, you created life-long psychological problems for your son.


Hot naked psychologists is the only answer. A bouncer with a HIPPA NDA qualification would be necessary, but at $500 an hour *everyone* wins.
 
2014-08-14 09:44:12 AM  
Remember that Fark link about the third grade class who *all* knew the terms for some peculiar sex kinks?  Like 'nugget' for a quadruple amputee doing porn?  (Which came as a surprise to me; I'd forgotten rule 34.)

I think that your average 14-year-old has gone way beyond that.  Perhaps all the way to necro porn or porn with artificial, plastic women like this:

img.fark.net

(Nancy Pfotenhauer, if you're interested.  One of the most shallow, vapid women ever to come out of the University of Georgia, and that's saying a lot.)

So, yeah, I wouldn't get my panties in a wad over the Lands' End catalog or GQ.
 
2014-08-14 09:52:37 AM  
""My 14-year-old son brought in the mail today & was quite disturbed & fascinated by a 'gift' Lands' End sent us - a copy of GQ magazine with an absolutely OBSCENE cover!!!," wrote one mother"

Welp. Looks like he's a lost cause now. One look at semi-nudity and he's a ravenous sex rapist for life. May as well put him down and fill out the paperwork for a new Russian orphan baby.
 
2014-08-14 09:54:07 AM  

jayfurr: [img.fark.net image 400x399]

(Nancy Pfotenhauer, if you're interested.  One of the most shallow, vapid women ever to come out of the University of Georgia, and that's saying a lot.)


That's GOT to be an android!
 
2014-08-14 09:55:23 AM  
I think mom misspelled turgid.
 
2014-08-14 09:56:40 AM  
Posting this on Facebook won't embarrass your son at all, mom.
 
2014-08-14 09:58:42 AM  
I thought GQ was for gay dudes who wanted to drool over well dressed men pretending to be hetero.
 
2014-08-14 09:59:08 AM  
He was probably so upset that he couldn't play COD so he watched some R rated movies instead.
 
2014-08-14 10:08:38 AM  
I think anybody who uses a word like "horrified" to describe a situation in which no violence has occurred should have to spend some time in an area like South Sudan until they've gained some goddamn perspective.
 
2014-08-14 10:11:02 AM  

TV's Vinnie: jayfurr: [img.fark.net image 400x399]

(Nancy Pfotenhauer, if you're interested.  One of the most shallow, vapid women ever to come out of the University of Georgia, and that's saying a lot.)

That's GOT to be an android!


Yeah.  Kinda fails the uncanny valley test, doesn't she?
 
2014-08-14 10:16:36 AM  

SecretAgentWoman: And I just gave my son advice today how to download pr0n without getting viruses or malware.



I had to have the same talk with my dad after some ransomware infected his PC.
Awkward.
 
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