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(CBC)   It's not easy to score 21 points by yourself in a game. Especially when it's a soccer game. Bonus: knocked the opposing team completely out of the league   (cbc.ca) divider line 33
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2333 clicks; posted to Sports » on 14 Aug 2014 at 12:46 AM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-13 11:50:22 PM  
What? That's only three touchdowns.
 
2014-08-14 12:58:49 AM  
Wow, what a loser. An ex-pro who never really made it running up the score in the SEVENTH division of Swedish soccer.
 
2014-08-14 01:13:56 AM  
Yanick Djouzi Manzizila broke a 60-year-old Swedish scoring record with 21 goals in a game between Kongo United and Balrog Botkyrka Sodertaelje.

You lose one fight to Gandalf, and before you know it, you're getting stomped 30-0 by a bunch of humans with no special powers.

/he told them "You shall not pass! For I will steal the ball and score on your shiatty goalkeeper"
 
2014-08-14 01:28:32 AM  
Before you know it he'll have a gap-toothed son named Joakim that wins a NCAA baseball championship and goes on to have a respectable but unspectacular career with the Chicago White Sox.
 
2014-08-14 02:15:08 AM  

dave2198: Yanick Djouzi Manzizila broke a 60-year-old Swedish scoring record with 21 goals in a game between Kongo United and Balrog Botkyrka Sodertaelje.

You lose one fight to Gandalf, and before you know it, you're getting stomped 30-0 by a bunch of humans with no special powers.

/he told them "You shall not pass! For I will steal the ball and score on your shiatty goalkeeper"


Balrog might have lost to Gandalf, at least Gandalf died in the process.

This soccer match was the equivalent of an early-80s WWF squash match, and the Balrog team was Conquistador Uno.
 
2014-08-14 06:03:05 AM  
Seventh division.  Is that the equivalent of pew-wee American football
 
2014-08-14 06:18:17 AM  

tennesseemike: Seventh division.  Is that the equivalent of pew-wee American football


It's the equivalent of middle-aged Mexicans in old Chivas shirts playing games in the park.
 
2014-08-14 06:45:56 AM  

Lifeless: tennesseemike: Seventh division.  Is that the equivalent of pew-wee American football

It's the equivalent of middle-aged Mexicans in old Chivas shirts playing games in the park.


That's sixth division.

Salvadorians are seventh division . . .
 
2014-08-14 07:12:50 AM  
So if I got this straight...

Step 1:
a-j-s-boom-boom-room.2299399.n4.nabble.com
 Step 2: Lose by 30


Step 3: Don't insert a coin


i.ytimg.com
 
2014-08-14 07:29:16 AM  
Balrog was so distraught that they quit the league after the match. It meant that Manzizila's goals won't count towards his season stats.

Well that's BS. They should still count.
Kind of like every time I'm winning in Madden "The connection to your peer has been lost".  Oh right, you got "disconnected".

/the win still counts for me and the loss for you
//suck it, sore losers
 
2014-08-14 07:40:22 AM  

tennesseemike: Seventh division.  Is that the equivalent of pew-wee American football


Have you seen those touring amateur baseball leagues? Not the semi pro ones, the actual amateurs? It's like that.
 
2014-08-14 09:02:48 AM  

SmackLT: What? That's only three touchdowns.


Well technically it's actually more than three touchdowns...

/extra point
//extra slash
 
2014-08-14 09:15:04 AM  
I don't know Swedish soccer (I imagine the ball goes "bork!" every time it's kicked) so I'm not sure whether this is an unsportsmanlike douchebag ringer running up the score and kicking an opponent who's down, or a shiatty team getting their ass kicked for trying to play in the wrong league or getting what they deserve for foul play that earned them 3 red cards in a game, but my guess is "all of the above."
 
2014-08-14 09:38:37 AM  
Before this article, I didn't know anything about Swedish soccer.  Now I know they have pretty awesome club names:  Kongo v. Balrog.

Awesome.
 
2014-08-14 10:30:52 AM  
American Samoa is very disappointed, Balrog. They lost harder internationally and you don't see them disbanding.
 
2014-08-14 10:56:03 AM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: I don't know Swedish soccer (I imagine the ball goes "bork!" every time it's kicked) so I'm not sure whether this is an unsportsmanlike douchebag ringer running up the score and kicking an opponent who's down, or a shiatty team getting their ass kicked for trying to play in the wrong league or getting what they deserve for foul play that earned them 3 red cards in a game, but my guess is "all of the above."


Goals count in the league, if there's a tie on points then goals scored can be a tie-breaker. It's entirely justified, and indeed encouraged, to score as many goals as you can. Also there are records to break. It's entirely a dick move by this team to pull out so the goals don't count.
 
2014-08-14 12:01:21 PM  
Monkeyfark Ridiculous
I don't know Swedish soccer (I imagine the ball goes "bork!" every time it's kicked) so I'm not sure whether this is an unsportsmanlike douchebag ringer running up the score and kicking an opponent who's down, or a shiatty team getting their ass kicked for trying to play in the wrong league or getting what they deserve for foul play that earned them 3 red cards in a game, but my guess is "all of the above."


As someone who plays in an amateur (students) league which is organized by a local university and has ~60 teams in a four-tiered league:
there's also the very real possibility that they didn't have enough players from the start and the ones who were playing weren't necessarily on the team, didn't know the names of the guys next to them (much less their strengths and weaknesses) or weren't even soccer players at all, because to have enough people (8) on the pitch at kick-off to not get punished for not showing up, someone brought his little brother, a roommate or whoever else they could round up.


For example, for my team it can be very hard to find 11 players when you have to deal with the wrong (read: not best, but most reliable and willing) people being injured (popular soccer stuff like torn muscles or torn ligaments in the ankle or knee can knock out amateurs for months), players out-of-town for the weekend, exams/finals, players with little kids having less time, weekend classes, hangovers (think about a team of mostly college students and a kick-off at 8:30 am) and work schedules (matches on Saturday are really difficult for us).

And if you have 11 people who aren't pro athletes playing on dry astroturf, it isn't unlikely that you'll have to replace a couple of people who pulled a muscle, had a bad collision or fall or twisted their ankle during the game, so 11 people with no subs often aren't enough.
Add to that, that even if you have 11 people, you will have to work with whoever shows up, so one weekend you might have only one defender and no goalkeeper and the next weekend there's no striker but 3 potential goalkeepers.


If I had to bet, I would project my own 15+ years of experience of organizing a team/herding cats and say:
the organizers and the core of the "team" who take the team serious enough to (re)schedule weekend appointments with the game in mind etc ("will schedule or join $thing an hour later because match" vs. "won't come to match because of $thing") were finally tired of running after people each week and fed up with getting slaughtered or starting with fewer than 11 folks.
So they took that demolition as the straw that broke the camel's back, realized that it didn't make sense to continue, resigned the "team" from the league and either quit playing altogether or joined another team that could use 4-5 reliable people because they were in a similar position.
 
2014-08-14 12:43:19 PM  
For more hard-hitting journalism, check the article off to the side:

Canada's U-20 women must be judged by results
 
2014-08-14 12:48:21 PM  
The transfer window is still open, Mr. Wenger!
 
2014-08-14 12:49:48 PM  
In 1995 I was stationed in Italy. Our crappy base team setup a match with a semi-pro Italian team as part of the entertainment for a base family day. None of us on the base team had much experience. We were doing it because we were bored and they needed players. We even got one member of the Italian team to join our team to help balance the talent. Well, needless to say, they had all the talent, and beat us 26-4. The Italian player on our team scored 3 of our goals, otherwise I am sure it would have been 30+ to 0. Oh well, we all had beers afterwards and it was fun as hell.
 
2014-08-14 01:19:37 PM  

wruley: In 1995 I was stationed in Italy. Our crappy base team setup a match with a semi-pro Italian team as part of the entertainment for a base family day. None of us on the base team had much experience. We were doing it because we were bored and they needed players. We even got one member of the Italian team to join our team to help balance the talent. Well, needless to say, they had all the talent, and beat us 26-4. The Italian player on our team scored 3 of our goals, otherwise I am sure it would have been 30+ to 0. Oh well, we all had beers afterwards and it was fun as hell.


Was it 25, or '6 to 4?
 
2014-08-14 01:48:20 PM  
Some professional sports teams should be expelled from their respective leagues for misrepresenting
themselves as professional.  (The Chicago Cubs, the Detroit Lions, the Jacksonville Jaguars, for
openers.)
 
2014-08-14 02:06:10 PM  

wruley: In 1995 I was stationed in Italy. Our crappy base team setup a match with a semi-pro Italian team as part of the entertainment for a base family day. None of us on the base team had much experience. We were doing it because we were bored and they needed players. We even got one member of the Italian team to join our team to help balance the talent. Well, needless to say, they had all the talent, and beat us 26-4. The Italian player on our team scored 3 of our goals, otherwise I am sure it would have been 30+ to 0. Oh well, we all had beers afterwards and it was fun as hell.


Michelin has several factories in upstate S.C.  Many many years ago I was on a YMCA 13/14 y/o team and we played the Michelin 11-12 year-old team, all tiny little French kids.  They beat us 15-2, and of course no beers were had afterwards.
 
2014-08-14 03:44:27 PM  

keypusher: wruley: In 1995 I was stationed in Italy. Our crappy base team setup a match with a semi-pro Italian team as part of the entertainment for a base family day. None of us on the base team had much experience. We were doing it because we were bored and they needed players. We even got one member of the Italian team to join our team to help balance the talent. Well, needless to say, they had all the talent, and beat us 26-4. The Italian player on our team scored 3 of our goals, otherwise I am sure it would have been 30+ to 0. Oh well, we all had beers afterwards and it was fun as hell.

Michelin has several factories in upstate S.C.  Many many years ago I was on a YMCA 13/14 y/o team and we played the Michelin 11-12 year-old team, all tiny little French kids.  They beat us 15-2, and of course no beers were had afterwards.


I have seen AYSO Boys U-10 teams beat the snot out of regular U-14 teams, boys or girls.  They were Extra teams, but still.  And of course, with referee present, otherwise the U-10s would have been bullied into submission by half time.
 
2014-08-14 03:47:22 PM  

The Voice of Doom: Monkeyfark Ridiculous
I don't know Swedish soccer (I imagine the ball goes "bork!" every time it's kicked) so I'm not sure whether this is an unsportsmanlike douchebag ringer running up the score and kicking an opponent who's down, or a shiatty team getting their ass kicked for trying to play in the wrong league or getting what they deserve for foul play that earned them 3 red cards in a game, but my guess is "all of the above."

As someone who plays in an amateur (students) league which is organized by a local university and has ~60 teams in a four-tiered league:
there's also the very real possibility that they didn't have enough players from the start and the ones who were playing weren't necessarily on the team, didn't know the names of the guys next to them (much less their strengths and weaknesses) or weren't even soccer players at all, because to have enough people (8) on the pitch at kick-off to not get punished for not showing up, someone brought his little brother, a roommate or whoever else they could round up.


For example, for my team it can be very hard to find 11 players when you have to deal with the wrong (read: not best, but most reliable and willing) people being injured (popular soccer stuff like torn muscles or torn ligaments in the ankle or knee can knock out amateurs for months), players out-of-town for the weekend, exams/finals, players with little kids having less time, weekend classes, hangovers (think about a team of mostly college students and a kick-off at 8:30 am) and work schedules (matches on Saturday are really difficult for us).

And if you have 11 people who aren't pro athletes playing on dry astroturf, it isn't unlikely that you'll have to replace a couple of people who pulled a muscle, had a bad collision or fall or twisted their ankle during the game, so 11 people with no subs often aren't enough.
Add to that, that even if you have 11 people, you will have to work with whoever shows up, so one weekend you might have only one ...


What?  They only had 8 at the end, because 3 got sent off with red cards.  They didn't start at 8, they started at 11.
 
2014-08-14 03:57:00 PM  

The Voice of Doom: Monkeyfark Ridiculous
I don't know Swedish soccer (I imagine the ball goes "bork!" every time it's kicked) so I'm not sure whether this is an unsportsmanlike douchebag ringer running up the score and kicking an opponent who's down, or a shiatty team getting their ass kicked for trying to play in the wrong league or getting what they deserve for foul play that earned them 3 red cards in a game, but my guess is "all of the above."

As someone who plays in an amateur (students) league which is organized by a local university and has ~60 teams in a four-tiered league:
there's also the very real possibility that they didn't have enough players from the start and the ones who were playing weren't necessarily on the team, didn't know the names of the guys next to them (much less their strengths and weaknesses) or weren't even soccer players at all, because to have enough people (8) on the pitch at kick-off to not get punished for not showing up, someone brought his little brother, a roommate or whoever else they could round up.


For example, for my team it can be very hard to find 11 players when you have to deal with the wrong (read: not best, but most reliable and willing) people being injured (popular soccer stuff like torn muscles or torn ligaments in the ankle or knee can knock out amateurs for months), players out-of-town for the weekend, exams/finals, players with little kids having less time, weekend classes, hangovers (think about a team of mostly college students and a kick-off at 8:30 am) and work schedules (matches on Saturday are really difficult for us).

And if you have 11 people who aren't pro athletes playing on dry astroturf, it isn't unlikely that you'll have to replace a couple of people who pulled a muscle, had a bad collision or fall or twisted their ankle during the game, so 11 people with no subs often aren't enough.
Add to that, that even if you have 11 people, you will have to work with whoever shows up, so one weekend you might have only one ...


Add in the fact that this is Sweden, with a population of under 10 million. There's over 700 teams playing at levels 1-6.
 
2014-08-14 04:31:12 PM  
Get ready to say goodbye to Crystal Palace's stay in the Premier League: Tony Pulis has left the club.
 
2014-08-14 04:59:58 PM  

Princip's Sandwich: Get ready to say goodbye to Crystal Palace's stay in the Premier League: Tony Pulis has left the club.


*Facepalm* Please change your relegation predictions accordingly.  http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/28797071
 
2014-08-14 06:27:34 PM  
squegeebooo
What? They only had 8 at the end, because 3 got sent off with red cards. They didn't start at 8, they started at 11.


There's no mention of red cards in the article or with how many players they started, only that they finished with 8 players.

While you obviously want to, you don't have to have 11 players:
for example, FIFA rules require only 7 players at kick off, but that number can vary depending on the competition.
I don't know about that Swedish league, but the German soccer association also uses the FIFA minimum of 7 while our not-associated university league requires 7 plus goalie IIRC.


/ finished at least 4 games with only 10 players since July (f*cking long-term injuries (5 players), holiday season and end-of-term finals) and the only red card was against one of the other teams:
two of those four games we started with 10 and 9 players respectively, the other two were simply cases of one injury more than players on the bench (which isn't too difficult if you only have 1 or 2 guys on the bench)
 
2014-08-14 07:17:57 PM  

The Voice of Doom: As someone who plays in an amateur (students) league which is organized by a local university and has ~60 teams in a four-tiered league:
there's also the very real possibility that they didn't have enough players from the start and the ones who were playing weren't necessarily on the team, didn't know the names of the guys next to them (much less their strengths and weaknesses) or weren't even soccer players at all, because to have enough people (8) on the pitch at kick-off to not get punished for not showing up, someone brought his little brother, a roommate or whoever else they could round up.


Yeah, good point, I've played on one of those teams myself.
 
2014-08-14 08:27:17 PM  

The Voice of Doom: squegeebooo
What? They only had 8 at the end, because 3 got sent off with red cards. They didn't start at 8, they started at 11.

There's no mention of red cards in the article or with how many players they started, only that they finished with 8 players.

While you obviously want to, you don't have to have 11 players:
for example, FIFA rules require only 7 players at kick off, but that number can vary depending on the competition.
I don't know about that Swedish league, but the German soccer association also uses the FIFA minimum of 7 while our not-associated university league requires 7 plus goalie IIRC.


/ finished at least 4 games with only 10 players since July (f*cking long-term injuries (5 players), holiday season and end-of-term finals) and the only red card was against one of the other teams:
two of those four games we started with 10 and 9 players respectively, the other two were simply cases of one injury more than players on the bench (which isn't too difficult if you only have 1 or 2 guys on the bench)


Reading how does it work?
The 25-year-old forward and his teammates scored at will as Balrog had three players sent off in the 30-0 loss.

I don't know where you play soccer, but that's a pretty universal term for getting a red card.
 
2014-08-14 09:21:26 PM  

dikkcor28: Lifeless: tennesseemike: Seventh division.  Is that the equivalent of pew-wee American football

It's the equivalent of middle-aged Mexicans in old Chivas shirts playing games in the park.

That's sixth division.

Salvadorians are seventh division . . .


So, is this even "semi-pro"... have never heard of a team "quit" a league after an embarrassing loss.... plenty of teams that fold because it is some minor league in the U.S. and the team isn't selling tickets, but, never because of an on the field issue.
 
2014-08-15 11:15:12 AM  
squegeebooo

Reading how does it work?
The 25-year-old forward and his teammates scored at will as Balrog had three players sent off in the 30-0 loss.



That sentence obviously escaped my attention; I remembered the "finished with 8" (obviously) and going back I probably just skimmed the article for "red".


-----

I did some digging and while they've removed the team's matches from the website, you can get at the match report by modifying the URL:
0:30

Looks like the team was run by a family with anger management issues:
the three players who were sent off all have the same last name and two of them are/were also the captain and the official contact person(s) of the team.
Given how two of them collected 3 yellows/2yellow-reds in two minutes and the other team didn't get one, I bet they were either biatching at the ref or at each other (I once played against at team where a couple wanna-be star players were constantly criticizing and biatching at their "team"mates until one of them stormed off the field, telling the others to go f*ck themselves).

And I guess those two teams don't like each other much:
their first match had 3 straight reds - only this time, the winning side got two of them and won 17:0 while finishing the game 9 against 10.

/probably not too far off with the player situation, given that the quitters only had 12 people on the roster for the 0:17 and on the rosters for both games they had four players with the same last name
 
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