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(UPI)   Police respond to report of chicken crossing the road, taking too long to get to the other side   ( upi.com) divider line
    More: Amusing  
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1790 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Aug 2014 at 5:20 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



27 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-13 04:36:11 PM  
Officers who responded to the situation could not find the bird.

Found it.
i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-08-13 05:22:29 PM  
But the real question--what was his motive?
 
2014-08-13 05:24:08 PM  
At least he didn't get out of his car to help the chicken,  that can result in life in prison
 
2014-08-13 05:26:10 PM  
Boy, slow news day.
 
2014-08-13 05:28:10 PM  
What a stupid clucking story.
 
2014-08-13 05:28:46 PM  
I hope they capped his ass
 
2014-08-13 05:30:22 PM  
img.fark.net

memories.......
 
2014-08-13 05:32:16 PM  

Phineas: At least he didn't get out of his car to help the chicken,  that can result in life in prison


That's awful.  I didn't know you could get convicted of murder for stopping your car.  On top of that the ass-hat that died was speeding.  I remember seeing the headline on fark but didn't read the thread.

I stopped for some geese the other day, I'm sure I pissed off the people behind me but I wasn't going to drive over them.  I was wondering what the rule was.
 
2014-08-13 05:33:21 PM  

Splish: But the real question--what was his motive?


Poultry in motion.
 
2014-08-13 05:35:18 PM  
He wound up on a grill one way or the other.
 
2014-08-13 05:48:38 PM  
Terry Pratchett has dealt with this

Hollywood Chickens
 
2014-08-13 05:49:22 PM  

TheGogmagog: Phineas: At least he didn't get out of his car to help the chicken,  that can result in life in prison

That's awful.  I didn't know you could get convicted of murder for stopping your car.  On top of that the ass-hat that died was speeding.  I remember seeing the headline on fark but didn't read the thread.

I stopped for some geese the other day, I'm sure I pissed off the people behind me but I wasn't going to drive over them.  I was wondering what the rule was.


http://www.dmv.org/how-to-guides/wildlife.php
They suggest slowing to a crawl or slamming even 'lock the brakes'  (apparently the advice is from 1970's before antilock brakes).  I would be more cautious than that, but it seems stopping at a reasonable rate would be the proper thing to do.

Do everything you safely can do to avoid hitting an animal.
avoid hitting animals, debris, or other road hazards.

/The oncoming traffic didn't agree and kept going, the geese turned around and were discouraged back to the same side of the road.
 
2014-08-13 05:56:29 PM  
pbs.twimg.com
 
2014-08-13 06:09:29 PM  

TheGogmagog: Phineas: At least he didn't get out of his car to help the chicken,  that can result in life in prison

That's awful.  I didn't know you could get convicted of murder for stopping your car.  On top of that the ass-hat that died was speeding.  I remember seeing the headline on fark but didn't read the thread.

I stopped for some geese the other day, I'm sure I pissed off the people behind me but I wasn't going to drive over them.  I was wondering what the rule was.


Yea it is awful that a moron would come to a full stop in the fast lane of a major highway to help some farking ducks.
 
2014-08-13 06:09:52 PM  
Reminds me of the baby that crossed the road.

It was chained to someone's bumper
 
2014-08-13 06:15:51 PM  
Police responded to a chicken call? Time to begin the looting!
 
2014-08-13 06:16:37 PM  
media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-13 06:23:03 PM  
Even though jokes about chickens crossing roadways often gets cluckles


...............


cdn.wholenewmom.com

"Da bawwwwwwwk?"

/No evidence of fowl play, at least
 
2014-08-13 07:27:53 PM  
But did they find the dead baby?
 
2014-08-13 07:28:23 PM  


Git the road-scraping shovel, Brandine.

We is dining on canard à l'orange** to-nite*!


*Yes, he says things the way other ignent people can only spell them.
** This is funnier for French people and foodies than it is for you.
 
2014-08-13 07:32:37 PM  
Why did the chicken cross the road?

CLUNK!

Never mind.

Geraldinnnnnnnnne! Nooooooooooo! Ma petite poulette! Geraldine! Speak to me, Geraldine!
One buck for yes, two bucks for no!


Although we might be able to ask that little blue guy with the weird nose.
 
2014-08-13 07:33:22 PM  

Inflatable Rhetoric: Splish: But the real question--what was his motive?

Poultry in motion.


She blinded me with CHICKENS
 
2014-08-13 07:34:35 PM  

aintnuttintofarkwith: Reminds me of the baby that crossed the road.

It was chained to someone's bumper


Someone's being your mom, of course.
 
2014-08-13 07:40:45 PM  

TheGogmagog: TheGogmagog: Phineas: At least he didn't get out of his car to help the chicken,  that can result in life in prison

That's awful.  I didn't know you could get convicted of murder for stopping your car.  On top of that the ass-hat that died was speeding.  I remember seeing the headline on fark but didn't read the thread.

I stopped for some geese the other day, I'm sure I pissed off the people behind me but I wasn't going to drive over them.  I was wondering what the rule was.

http://www.dmv.org/how-to-guides/wildlife.php
They suggest slowing to a crawl or slamming even 'lock the brakes'  (apparently the advice is from 1970's before antilock brakes).  I would be more cautious than that, but it seems stopping at a reasonable rate would be the proper thing to do.

Do everything you safely can do to avoid hitting an animal.
avoid hitting animals, debris, or other road hazards.

/The oncoming traffic didn't agree and kept going, the geese turned around and were discouraged back to the same side of the road.

Look for reflecting eyes...


This can make all of the difference. Having lived where there were a LOT of Elk who wandered into town on a nightly basis, I figured this out. Often people in rural areas will mark a forest service road, their mailbox, the entry to their driveway, etc. with small round reflectors. These look exactly like the eyes of a deer or elk. And even though these animals seen to not see you when they jump in front of you, they hear and see you coming. As a result, you'll see what looks like one of those reflectors, but it will move, disappear for a second(When they blink), or just maybe be too high off of the ground to make sense. That's where a deer and/or elk is usually standing. Look for more reflections, on both sides, be prepared, slow down...

It was by far the best way to spot these animals.

Wildlife is most active during dusk, dawn, and night. Deer are most frequently hit during dusk and dawn, bears and moose at night.

With deer and elk, this is because they are moving from the woods where they are safe during the day, down to the creeks, streams, golf courses and back yards where they get their food. They don't have clocks, so it's based on sunlight for them, which can really suck in the winter when the days are shorter. As an added bonus, twilight is a biatch of a time to make out differences in color and contrast.

Deer whistles are merely peace-of-mind placebos. Research remains inconclusive as to the advantages of these car-mounted devices.

I've never used these, but "placebo" would indicate that they were fake, as opposed to research being "inconclusive". Anyone I've met with them thinks they must work because they have never personally hit a deer, but I have no idea. You could test it pretty easy by driving between Jacob Lake and the North Rim of the Grand Canyon . Never seen so many farking deer by the side of the road, hundreds and hundreds. Every employee up there who had a car had either hit one or been in a vehicle with someone who had.
 
2014-08-13 08:31:30 PM  
fc09.deviantart.net
 
2014-08-14 06:24:01 AM  
My favorite from kid-days was:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To see a man laying bricks.


/it was the mental image that always cracked me up
 
2014-08-14 01:28:28 PM  
Quote from the Muppet Show, as the Swedish Chef chased one of Gonzo's chickens:

Fozzie: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Kermit:  "Because an angry Swede was chasing him with a hatchet!"
 
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