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(Huffington Post)   Meet the super hero for the modern day: Florida Man, whose powers include career prostitution, wearing women's underwear while driving drunk, and crashing into retirement homes   (huffingtonpost.com ) divider line
    More: Florida, couples, Rico Antwan Jones, retirement home, Tampa General Hospital, Bay News 9  
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4146 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Aug 2014 at 2:45 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2014-08-13 01:49:15 PM  
Degraded man, Florida Man.
 
2014-08-13 02:49:38 PM  
Whoopsies
 
2014-08-13 02:50:19 PM  
All that outfit needed was a large billowing pink cape with fuzzy fringe.  He may not be the hero Florida wants, but he definitely is the hero Florida deserves.
 
2014-08-13 02:51:35 PM  
 
2014-08-13 02:51:46 PM  
If that makes him a superhero, Fark posters must be gods.
 
2014-08-13 02:52:22 PM  
Quit reading after gaping hole.
 
2014-08-13 02:56:26 PM  
It's hard out there for a psimp!
 
2014-08-13 02:56:29 PM  
With apologies to Eddie Izzard: "It's not women's underwear. It's MY underwear. I didn't steal it, I bought it."
 
2014-08-13 02:56:52 PM  

SquiggsIN: At least he didn't eat anyone's face off.  (that we know of)


Week's not over yet!
 
2014-08-13 02:59:52 PM  
Hold on a sec.
He was getting pulled over before he wrecked, then miraculously found in drag down the street somewhere? How did they let him wander off?
 
2014-08-13 03:05:39 PM  
AKA:   republican candidate out on the town
 
2014-08-13 03:05:47 PM  
"Officers had reportedly tried to pull him over moments before he obliterated the senior center wall."
" When police responded to the wreck, they found a gaping hole, they also found Jones, down the street, wearing women's underwear, a bra and high heels."
 
2014-08-13 03:06:15 PM  
I make big holes, I wear high heels, pink panties and a bra,
I wish I were a girlie just like my dear papa!

I'm from Florida and I'm okay!
 
2014-08-13 03:11:03 PM  
Triangle Man wins.
 
2014-08-13 03:16:18 PM  
Florida Man, Florida Man. Florida Man hates Sanity Man. They have a fight,
 
2014-08-13 03:20:31 PM  
Who stole the "Guybrator" thread? That seemed like it might have had some humorous antecedotes.
 
2014-08-13 03:26:20 PM  

theguyyousaw: Hold on a sec.
He was getting pulled over before he wrecked, then miraculously found in drag down the street somewhere? How did they let him wander off?


Most likely, he escaped custody through the use of a clever gadget on his Florida Man Utility Garter Belt.
 
2014-08-13 03:38:02 PM  
Florida Man, Florida Man,
Florida Man hates Bama Man,
They get in a fight, Bama wins
Bama Man
 
2014-08-13 03:38:49 PM  
Diamond does sound like a superhero name.
 
2014-08-13 03:42:43 PM  
Needs an action figure like Alabama Man
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BrimMyOoEDA
 
2014-08-13 03:43:28 PM  
Because he's the hero Florida deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So we'll hunt him. Because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a drunk, a prostitute. A panty wearer.
 
2014-08-13 03:53:19 PM  
Dad?
 
2014-08-13 03:58:18 PM  

ChipNASA: http://www.gannett-cdn.com/-mm-/10d330ec5257309931739b9eb990b8f817e7f 7 ab/c=12-0-372-480&r=537&c=0-0-534-712/local/-/media/WTSP/WTSP/2014/08/ 12/1407853902000-Rico-Antwan-Jones-Bk-14033226.jpg


/I don't think he cleans up too good.


NTTAWWT but he's made a "career" out of giving head?  Who the hell is buying head from that?  Armless guys who can't fap?  BJ lips or no, I'll pass thanks.  No wonder Florida has it's own tag.
 
2014-08-13 03:59:03 PM  
Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?
 
2014-08-13 04:00:36 PM  
 
2014-08-13 04:02:59 PM  
Not touching this one. Not.....not.....not...not....not

Okay.

What so you call  a Floridan super hero?
A Guy Who can knock down 300 buildings with his vodka breath
who gets hit by a powerful locomotive

it's a bird, it's a plane
Oh flip it's a Floridian
Quick, get off the sidewalk he's careening your way.
 
2014-08-13 04:03:06 PM  
Dad?
 
2014-08-13 04:08:52 PM  

FL man! FL man!
Thinks he has a real fool-proof plan!
'Course he does: He is drunk
And swiped panties from Edna's bunk!
Stay sharp.....and nab that FL man!

 
2014-08-13 04:16:01 PM  

skinink: I make big holes, I wear high heels, pink panties and a bra,
I wish I were a girlie just like my dear papa!

I'm from Florida and I'm okay!


So that's what happened to Dexter!

i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-13 04:28:36 PM  
i62.tinypic.com
 
2014-08-13 04:49:18 PM  
Career prostitution... I guess that doesn't translate to free agent?
 
2014-08-13 04:56:08 PM  
 
2014-08-13 05:20:54 PM  
www.baynews9.com
career prostitute, ladies and gentlemen
 
2014-08-13 06:01:22 PM  
If he did all that on a Tuesday night his weekends must be wild.
 
2014-08-13 06:07:11 PM  
I went to a stripclub locally a week ago, its in one of the most run down areas of Florida (hillsborough county).... There was guy dressed as a woman in drag, I mean the whole 9 yards - bra and wig; I had to ask the waitress what his deal was - He's apparently a "woman" trapped in a mans body and loves women, but haven't had any surgery as it was to expensive, I finished my drink and left when the first pregnant dancer came out on stage.

/What the fark florida? oh and tuesday nights is jello wrestling with a guy named "Dave the Dwarf".
 
2014-08-13 06:18:40 PM  

thy crotch: [www.baynews9.com image 720x480]
career prostitute, ladies and gentlemen


I always thought of that as more of a job than a career. It's not like there's a lot of opportunity for promotion.
 
2014-08-13 06:21:27 PM  

Misconduc: I went to a stripclub locally a week ago, its in one of the most run down areas of Florida (hillsborough county).... There was guy dressed as a woman in drag, I mean the whole 9 yards - bra and wig; I had to ask the waitress what his deal was - He's apparently a "woman" trapped in a mans body and loves women, but haven't had any surgery as it was to expensive, I finished my drink and left when the first pregnant dancer came out on stage.

/What the fark florida? oh and tuesday nights is jello wrestling with a guy named "Dave the Dwarf".


You go to a strip club in a rundown part of town pretty much anywhere in the world, and you're going to meet a few freak show alumni. It's called the demimonde. In Atlanta, there's a club like that called the Clermont Lounge that is pretty much a must-visit for celebrities who are in town filming stuff.
 
2014-08-13 06:25:41 PM  

LazyMedia: Misconduc: I went to a stripclub locally a week ago, its in one of the most run down areas of Florida (hillsborough county).... There was guy dressed as a woman in drag, I mean the whole 9 yards - bra and wig; I had to ask the waitress what his deal was - He's apparently a "woman" trapped in a mans body and loves women, but haven't had any surgery as it was to expensive, I finished my drink and left when the first pregnant dancer came out on stage.

/What the fark florida? oh and tuesday nights is jello wrestling with a guy named "Dave the Dwarf".

You go to a strip club in a rundown part of town pretty much anywhere in the world, and you're going to meet a few freak show alumni. It's called the demimonde. In Atlanta, there's a club like that called the Clermont Lounge that is pretty much a must-visit for celebrities who are in town filming stuff.


Good to know, I just wish I had a photo of the prego stripper when she lite up a cigarette; but she bailed from the "floor" to go into the backroom before I could; that would of been a fark worthy photo.
 
2014-08-13 10:46:13 PM  
I was wondering if the gaping hole was his ass for a second.
 
2014-08-14 01:51:19 AM  
img.fark.net
 
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