If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(News 13 Orlando)   Brevard County businesses complaining about zombies harassing customers. No faces eaten yet   (mynews13.com) divider line 23
    More: Florida  
•       •       •

3579 clicks; posted to Main » on 13 Aug 2014 at 3:03 AM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



23 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-13 01:30:21 AM  
"They look like they are on drugs, like they're zombies, just walking around asking people for money,"

files.riffsy.com
 
2014-08-13 01:59:03 AM  
If they're looking for brains, they're gonna starve in Florida
 
2014-08-13 02:10:57 AM  
Good old Melbourne/Palm Bay.....between the hurricanes and zombies, my Grandmother is damn glad she moved up here in 2005.
 
2014-08-13 03:18:31 AM  
Good ol' Brevard County: The Florida of Florida™.
 
2014-08-13 03:22:38 AM  

benscarts.com
MPD Commander Vincent Price

 
2014-08-13 04:44:50 AM  

fusillade762: "They look like they are on drugs, like they're zombies, just walking around asking people for money,"

[files.riffsy.com image 480x360]


Excellent!

Now, if you can just replace Randy with President Obama, it will be perfect.
 
2014-08-13 04:52:43 AM  
Zombies DO exist by leeching off other people. Seems apt.
 
2014-08-13 05:25:13 AM  
God dammit... there's a really good Jersey Mike's there. Haven't been there in a while, though.


ds_4815: Good ol' Brevard County: The Florida of Florida™.


How dare y-- oh, who am I kidding, it's true. :(
 
2014-08-13 07:00:06 AM  
Wandering around like a zombie? Well, it's not like there's much else to do in Melbourne.

/or wasn't when I attended Florida Tech. in the late 90s. I assume no improvements
 
2014-08-13 07:11:36 AM  
I lived in Melbourne for a few months back in 1991. It was so weird down there I moved back to Jersey and haven't come within three states of Florida since then.

/lot of KKK down there
//biggest assholes I've ever met
 
2014-08-13 08:15:13 AM  
This is now the FARK story that holds the record for occurring closest to my home -- I live less than one mile from this shopping center.

There's a gas station across Sarno Road from Twin Oaks that's got a small wooded area behind it where the zombies hang out/sleep/whatever. You can see the tents and sleeping bags as you drive by. All MPD needs to do is take a military-grade flamethrower back there. Problem solved.
 
2014-08-13 08:19:05 AM  
It's the time of the season.
 
2014-08-13 08:20:47 AM  
They found a needle filled with heroin and K-2.

You really can inject the (synthetic) marijuanas, after all??

i0.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-08-13 09:38:09 AM  
Zombie trouble at the local mart? This calls for..............

theawesomer.com
 
2014-08-13 10:10:06 AM  

dpaul007: This is now the FARK story that holds the record for occurring closest to my home -- I live less than one mile from this shopping center.

There's a gas station across Sarno Road from Twin Oaks that's got a small wooded area behind it where the zombies hang out/sleep/whatever. You can see the tents and sleeping bags as you drive by. All MPD needs to do is take a military-grade flamethrower back there. Problem solved.


As long as they don't migrate to Eau Gallie and leave Kibo alone, all is good. Although you could probably herd them west from Wickham to the industrial park. Let them all wander around Hot Flixx.


/need to get up that way again and get me some food from Kibo
//[insert gyudon song here]
 
2014-08-13 10:22:44 AM  
Eat a brain, moran!
 
2014-08-13 12:23:32 PM  

dpaul007: This is now the FARK story that holds the record for occurring closest to my home -- I live less than one mile from this shopping center.

There's a gas station across Sarno Road from Twin Oaks that's got a small wooded area behind it where the zombies hang out/sleep/whatever. You can see the tents and sleeping bags as you drive by. All MPD needs to do is take a military-grade flamethrower back there. Problem solved.


Military-Grade flamethrower?

/As opposed to a Second-Grade flamethrower?
//Super-soaker filled with gas?
///Nerf-gun incendiary?
 
2014-08-13 12:52:02 PM  
Or, put another way....

♫♪♪♫
All the zombies shufflin' through Melbourne
Move west down Sarno Boulevard
Gonna' meet up down at the Hot Flixx
Gonna' watch some porn for a while

And they're free, free roamin'
Yeah they're free, free roamin'
 
2014-08-13 01:20:32 PM  

mamoru: Wandering around like a zombie? Well, it's not like there's much else to do in Melbourne.

/or wasn't when I attended Florida Tech. in the late 90s. I assume no improvements


Historic downtown has some nice shops and bars. Other than that, the most fun thing to do is typically checking out the denizens of the Palm Bay Walmart after midnight.

/FIT '13
 
2014-08-13 01:27:24 PM  

ds_4815: Good ol' Brevard County: The Florida of Florida™.



Hahahahaha!
 
2014-08-13 07:11:49 PM  

How to deal with problem people


Zombies: Poster the neighborhood with signs advertising a Zombie bike ride or walk somewhere far away. Alternative: Zombie pub crawl through the worst honky-tonks in town.

Vampires:  Ultra thin silver wire strung from eave to eave throughout the neighborhood.

Werewolves:  Pass a poop-and-scoop law.

Wizards:  WiFi blocking.

Hobbits:  Salt the ground with magical rings of power.

Dwarves: All you can eat special fliers for Swedish restaurants that don't exist on the far side of town.

Basilisks. Mirrored glass balls everywhere. Polish your cars until you can read a newspaper with the help of a mirror.

Beggers: pick pockets.

Pick pockets: beggers. Natural enemies.

Those guys with I-am-deaf cards: Guys with I-am-blind cards.
 
2014-08-14 01:57:09 AM  

ds_4815: mamoru: Wandering around like a zombie? Well, it's not like there's much else to do in Melbourne.

/or wasn't when I attended Florida Tech. in the late 90s. I assume no improvements

Historic downtown has some nice shops and bars. Other than that, the most fun thing to do is typically checking out the denizens of the Palm Bay Walmart after midnight.

/FIT '13


So... yeah, nothing's changed.

/is the Sun Shoppe still open? Owner was a bit of a dick, but they had good coffee
 
2014-08-14 01:17:56 PM  
Starts w/ a little innocent spice consumption then you get gholas and face-dancers....
 
Displayed 23 of 23 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report