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(News.com.au)   Tips for surviving a dingo attack: Cover your face, throat, stomach, and groin - not necessarily in that order   (news.com.au ) divider line
    More: PSA  
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2229 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2014 at 8:36 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-12 05:17:21 PM  
Does not approve:

i90.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-12 06:07:28 PM  
And hide your baby
 
2014-08-12 06:07:38 PM  
Don't be a baby, surprisingly absent.
 
2014-08-12 06:08:31 PM  
Just chuck a baby at it.
 
2014-08-12 06:10:55 PM  
Eat the dingo's babby.

www.farfrommoscow.com
 
2014-08-12 06:14:01 PM  
Tip #1 - Don't live where the dingoes are.
 
2014-08-12 08:08:09 PM  
Has anyone mentioned the...
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-12 08:40:16 PM  
Pretend its a cute lil doggy and pet it!
 
2014-08-12 08:41:35 PM  
Call Michael Vick?
 
2014-08-12 08:44:46 PM  
www.classroomtools.com

The Dingo wearer stabbed my child
 
2014-08-12 08:45:12 PM  
Two autoplay videos on one effing page?  NOPE.
 
2014-08-12 08:49:34 PM  
Dingoes aren't very intimidating - lightly-built little husky-size dogs. You wouldn't expect a couple of them to be so much trouble.
 
2014-08-12 08:51:06 PM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Dingoes aren't very intimidating - lightly-built little husky-size dogs. You wouldn't expect a couple of them to be so much trouble.


>:)

That is the plan.
 
2014-08-12 08:52:59 PM  
I daydream about what to do if a dog  attacks me when I'm running.

Poking the eyeballs out, with my thumbs, usually tops the list.
 
2014-08-12 08:54:15 PM  

JohnCarter: [www.classroomtools.com image 400x574]

The Dingo wearer stabbed my child


The Dingo wearer has a boot on his penis
 
2014-08-12 08:55:00 PM  
I misread the headline as Dildo.
 
2014-08-12 08:58:42 PM  
Hmm.. If I cover my face I'll keep my good looks but my dick will be shredded.

But it I cover my dick my face will be destroyed and I won't be able to get layed anymore.

Decisions decisions.
 
2014-08-12 08:59:06 PM  

uber humper: I daydream about what to do if a dog  attacks me when I'm running.

Poking the eyeballs out, with my thumbs, usually tops the list.


Weird! I daydream about running while I'm poking out dog eyeballs!!
 
2014-08-12 09:00:58 PM  

uber humper: I daydream about what to do if a dog  attacks me when I'm running.

Poking the eyeballs out, with my thumbs, usually tops the list.


That might make the dog think you were crazy enough not to fark with, but then you'd be blind and have a hard time finding your way home.
 
2014-08-12 09:03:07 PM  

Boo_Guy: Hmm.. If I cover my face I'll keep my good looks but my dick will be shredded.

But it I cover my dick my face will be destroyed and I won't be able to get layed anymore.

Decisions decisions.


Sometimes being a complete dickhead can be a real advantage.
 
2014-08-12 09:05:32 PM  

uber humper: I daydream about what to do if a dog  attacks me when I'm running.

Poking the eyeballs out, with my thumbs, usually tops the list.


It's a well known tactic: stick your finger up its ass and it'll be so scared it'll run away. Or becomes placid and docile waiting for your to lick its balls/vag.
 
2014-08-12 09:10:28 PM  

uber humper: I daydream about what to do if a dog  attacks me when I'm running.

Poking the eyeballs out, with my thumbs, usually tops the list.


Yup jab the vulnerable points, eyes, groin, throat, nose.
 
2014-08-12 09:10:58 PM  
Darwin, Australia  Coroner: "Ms. Chamberlain that whole trial accusing you of murdering your baby 32 years ago?" "Our bad, it looks like a dingo did in fact eat your baby.

/True story
 
2014-08-12 09:18:08 PM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: uber humper: I daydream about what to do if a dog  attacks me when I'm running.

Poking the eyeballs out, with my thumbs, usually tops the list.

That might make the dog think you were crazy enough not to fark with, but then you'd be blind and have a hard time finding your way home.


Funny you say that.  There was a second part of the post I deleted saying something to the effect that dogs can sense that I'm a little cray and keep their distance
 
2014-08-12 09:19:40 PM  

GungFu: uber humper: I daydream about what to do if a dog  attacks me when I'm running.

Poking the eyeballs out, with my thumbs, usually tops the list.

It's a well known tactic: stick your finger up its ass and it'll be so scared it'll run away. Or becomes placid and docile waiting for your to lick its balls/vag.


RFeminds me of the old joke: "how do you get a pitbull to stop humping your leg?"

You suck his dick.
 
2014-08-12 09:22:05 PM  
So the fetal position?

Don't forget to jam your heels into your butt.
 
2014-08-12 09:33:06 PM  
A dingo ate my balls
 
2014-08-12 09:38:01 PM  

uber humper: GungFu: uber humper: I daydream about what to do if a dog  attacks me when I'm running.

Poking the eyeballs out, with my thumbs, usually tops the list.

It's a well known tactic: stick your finger up its ass and it'll be so scared it'll run away. Or becomes placid and docile waiting for your to lick its balls/vag.

RFeminds me of the old joke: "how do you get a pitbull to stop humping your leg?"

You suck his dick.


Gives a whole other meaning to the time honored phrase, "puppy want a treat?"
 
2014-08-12 09:40:52 PM  

Tr0mBoNe: So the fetal position?

Don't forget to jam your heels into your butt.


That's what I was thinking.  That's a fetal position.  Personally, if I'm getting attacked by any animal that isn't more than half my body weight, I figure I'll just go all law-of-the-jungle on it's ass.  I'm a human.  I'm smarter than it is.  I can use tools, it can't.  The thing doesn't really stand a chance.

/yes, I know that most animals near half my body weight would royally fark me up
//Fetal position is plans B through Z.
 
2014-08-12 09:44:37 PM  
There is no plan.

You will not see it coming.
 
2014-08-12 09:50:55 PM  

symptomoftheuniverse: uber humper: I daydream about what to do if a dog  attacks me when I'm running.

Poking the eyeballs out, with my thumbs, usually tops the list.

Weird! I daydream about running while I'm poking out dog eyeballs!!


GIRL IS SO GROOVY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW!
 
2014-08-12 09:51:10 PM  

uber humper: I daydream about what to do if a dog  attacks me when I'm running.

Poking the eyeballs out, with my thumbs, usually tops the list.


If that's what you daydream about, maybe you need to see someone.
 
2014-08-12 09:51:45 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: And hide your baby


No, no, no, you want to toss your baby as hard as you can and then run in the other direction.
 
2014-08-12 09:53:47 PM  

abhorrent1: uber humper: I daydream about what to do if a dog  attacks me when I'm running.

Poking the eyeballs out, with my thumbs, usually tops the list.

If that's what you daydream about, maybe you need to see someone.


Glad someone else noticed this
 
2014-08-12 10:02:15 PM  
Cover the dingo instead.  With the front sight.  Then squeeze the trigger.
 
2014-08-12 10:02:19 PM  

theorellior: MaudlinMutantMollusk: And hide your baby

No, no, no, you want to toss your baby as hard as you can and then run in the other direction.


I thought you just needed to outrun the baby?
 
2014-08-12 10:19:22 PM  

abhorrent1: uber humper: I daydream about what to do if a dog  attacks me when I'm running.

Poking the eyeballs out, with my thumbs, usually tops the list.

If that's what you daydream about, maybe you need to see someone.


I run past a loose dog at least a couple times a month. It's worth considering.
 
2014-08-12 10:21:21 PM  

theorellior: symptomoftheuniverse: uber humper: I daydream about what to do if a dog  attacks me when I'm running.

Poking the eyeballs out, with my thumbs, usually tops the list.

Weird! I daydream about running while I'm poking out dog eyeballs!!

GIRL IS SO GROOVY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW!


False advertising, un chien andalou was a cow eyeball, no?
 
2014-08-12 10:49:09 PM  

dittybopper: Cover the dingo instead.  With the front sight.  Then squeeze the trigger.


I have no problem with this, but gun laws in Australia may limit that option for people...
 
2014-08-12 10:56:22 PM  
It's like that old children's song:


face, throat, stomach, and groin
stomach, and groin
face, throat, stomach, and groin
stomach, and groin
And eyes and ears
And mouth and nose
face, throat, stomach, and groin
stomach, and groin
 
2014-08-12 11:06:09 PM  

mooseyfate: That's what I was thinking. That's a fetal position. Personally, if I'm getting attacked by any animal that isn't more than half my body weight, I figure I'll just go all law-of-the-jungle on it's ass. I'm a human. I'm smarter than it is. I can use tools, it can't. The thing doesn't really stand a chance.


"I thought that playing my soothing, folksy music would work. it always has before. My bad--next time I kill them."

img.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-13 02:22:17 AM  
I don't think it would be that bad really. Most aren't that large and can't do a great deal of damage. I've seens some videos online though of girls handling MASSIVE ones that could cause serious harm of swung...

Oh, DINGOS! I read it as...well...nevermind.
 
2014-08-13 08:01:04 AM  

Forbidden Doughnut: dittybopper: Cover the dingo instead.  With the front sight.  Then squeeze the trigger.

I have no problem with this, but gun laws in Australia may limit that option for people...


Well then, maybe they should just hire Matthew Quigley.
 
2014-08-13 09:14:19 AM  

dittybopper: Forbidden Doughnut: dittybopper: Cover the dingo instead.  With the front sight.  Then squeeze the trigger.

I have no problem with this, but gun laws in Australia may limit that option for people...

Well then, maybe they should just hire Matthew Quigley.


I farking love that movie.
 
2014-08-13 04:12:59 PM  
reminds me of the Pepto Bismol dance...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XghJuH6GSCo
 
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