Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Metro)   A vibrator stuck up your butt is no way to die from embarrassment (Not safe for work)   (metro.co.uk) divider line 103
    More: Weird  
•       •       •

14733 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2014 at 2:22 PM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



103 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-08-12 12:03:44 PM  
And because he actually died, the media can publish his name, and his mom can die from embarrassment.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-08-12 12:14:17 PM  
If I recall correctly, the protagonist of Iain Banks' novel Complicity did somebody in this way.
 
2014-08-12 01:01:08 PM  
www.obscurecraft.net
 
2014-08-12 01:11:37 PM  
Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.
 
2014-08-12 01:15:40 PM  

iron de havilland: Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.


But I don't OWN a d-
 
2014-08-12 01:18:45 PM  
He died doing what he loved.
 
2014-08-12 01:20:35 PM  
Whew, I thought this was another Robin Williams thread
 
2014-08-12 01:23:35 PM  

Rev. Skarekroe: iron de havilland: Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

But I don't OWN a d-


You don't now.

Dead men don't own dildos. It would pass to his next of kin, or whomever he left it to in his will.
 
2014-08-12 02:08:12 PM  
He did it on his terms.
 
2014-08-12 02:11:03 PM  
Did he have a Ukranian girlfriend named Helena?
 
2014-08-12 02:13:03 PM  
How long did it take for them to get the smile off his face?
 
2014-08-12 02:25:10 PM  

Chris Ween: How long did it take for them to get the smile off his face?



www.weakstream.us
 
2014-08-12 02:25:50 PM  
Hey, whats shakin?
 
2014-08-12 02:26:02 PM  
first documented case of death by butthurt
 
gja
2014-08-12 02:26:23 PM  
www.myconfinedspace.com
 
2014-08-12 02:27:01 PM  
Wut, wut?
 
2014-08-12 02:30:14 PM  

abhorrent1: Wut, wut?


In da butt
 
2014-08-12 02:31:10 PM  
Oh crap, I have that very same vibrator in the picture stuck up my anus right now!
 
2014-08-12 02:31:12 PM  
The thought alone of simply going five days without being able to take a comfortable, relaxing poo sounds horrifying...dildo-stuck-in-ass or not.
 
2014-08-12 02:31:17 PM  
I don't think it was a legitimate vibrator. If it's a legitimate vibrator, the male anus has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.
 
2014-08-12 02:32:02 PM  

Lord_Baull: Oh crap, I have that very same vibrator in the picture stuck up my anus right now!


I was quite glad they included a helpful picture of what a dildo might look like.
 
2014-08-12 02:32:42 PM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: I don't think it was a legitimate vibrator. If it's a legitimate vibrator, the male anus has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.


Hi Todd!
 
2014-08-12 02:33:33 PM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: I don't think it was a legitimate vibrator. If it's a legitimate vibrator, the male anus has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.



He would be alive today if he just put an aspirin between his moobs.
 
2014-08-12 02:33:54 PM  
I'm pretty sure no matter what you've managed to get stuck up your butt, someone has topped it.
 
2014-08-12 02:34:12 PM  
I wonder what color it was. Because if his mom and friends aren't embarrassed enough, the news of it being a 12 inch big black dildo should do the trick.
 
2014-08-12 02:34:16 PM  

ZAZ: If I recall correctly, the protagonist of Iain Banks' novel Complicity did somebody in this way.


And harlie Stross' Rule 34 opens with a spammer dead of a Viagra overdose with a dildo up his 'cutter.
 
2014-08-12 02:34:36 PM  
I like where this thread is going...


oh, wait...
 
2014-08-12 02:34:51 PM  
Pardon my honesty, but it sounds like he was farked from when he rolled into the hospital.
 
2014-08-12 02:34:58 PM  
Is the NSFW really necessary? Shouldn't that be implied by the headline?
 
2014-08-12 02:35:04 PM  
i586.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-12 02:35:43 PM  
<calin> we had a guy at school that wore black lipstick.. and was all gothy.. and then one day we caught him buying an assvibrator 
<ecoli> ew.
<ecoli> wait, you "caught" him?
<ecoli> like, you were behind him in line at the assvibrator store?
<Aero> he doesnt answer
*** Quits: calin (No route to host)


http://bash.org/?1578

/came to mind
 
2014-08-12 02:36:28 PM  
What a buzz-kill.
 
2014-08-12 02:37:02 PM  
Please be Dick Cheney, please be Dick Cheney, please be Dick Chaney...

...damnit.
 
2014-08-12 02:39:52 PM  
How long did the batteries last?
 
2014-08-12 02:40:27 PM  

RPT1964: And because he actually died, the media can publish his name, and his mom can die from embarrassment.


CSB
I spent some time in Waterloo, Iowa.  In one Sunday newspaper crime report, there was mention of a local who had been apprehended, crimson-fisted, (and otherwise), having sexual relations with a ewe, in the husbandry barn of the local community college.  The ewe was reported to have been wearing a ladies' undergarment at the time of arrest of her paramour.

The perpetrator of this travesty had a distinctive surname.  His family was forced to withdraw from their little lives in that little town, and relocate.  Post-haste.
/CSB

/animal husbandry
//heh heh
 
2014-08-12 02:40:38 PM  
he did not leave it in his will.....he left it in his butt
 
2014-08-12 02:42:10 PM  

RPT1964: And because he actually died, the media can publish his name, and his mom can die from embarrassment.


i586.photobucket.com
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2014-08-12 02:42:20 PM  
anuran: Stross' Rule 34 opens with a spammer dead of a Viagra overdose with a dildo up his 'cutter.

I heard Stross mention some connection to Complicity, like he used to live/work/get drunk where Banks lived/worked/got drunk while writing the novel. Possibly it's a deliberate homage.
 
2014-08-12 02:42:47 PM  

farkin_Gary: I like where this thread is going...


oh, wait...


macross87: abhorrent1: Wut, wut?

In da butt


media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-12 02:43:21 PM  

GRCooper: How long did the batteries last?


If it was longer than four hours, he shoulda called a doctor.
 
2014-08-12 02:43:35 PM  
Ted Nugent???
 
2014-08-12 02:44:15 PM  
Thanks God for that helpful picture of what the cause of death may have been.

/didn't see any skid marks on it
 
2014-08-12 02:45:15 PM  
Apparently, Nigel had other plans.
 
2014-08-12 02:45:52 PM  

Torgo_of_Manos: Whew, I thought this was another Robin Williams thread


Not soon enough.
 
2014-08-12 02:48:10 PM  

iron de havilland: Rev. Skarekroe: iron de havilland: Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

But I don't OWN a d-

You don't now.

Dead men don't own dildos. It would pass to his next of kin, or whomever he left it to in his will.


Or, it is thrown casually in the bayou on a foggy evening, if he discovers me dead before anyone else does.

Along with other paraphernalia, or course.

Thanks, bro.
 
2014-08-12 02:48:16 PM  

Plant Rights Activist: first documented case of death by butthurt


you clearly have never seen Mr. Hands
 
2014-08-12 02:48:36 PM  
Rectum?  Shiat it killed him!
 
2014-08-12 02:48:50 PM  

MooseBayou: iron de havilland: Rev. Skarekroe: iron de havilland: Of course it's company policy never to, imply ownership in the event of a dildo... always use the indefinite article a dildo, never your dildo.

But I don't OWN a d-

You don't now.

Dead men don't own dildos. It would pass to his next of kin, or whomever he left it to in his will.

Or, it is thrown casually in the bayou on a foggy evening, if he discovers me dead before anyone else does.

Along with other paraphernalia, or course.

Thanks, bro.


(In advance, of course ...)
 
2014-08-12 02:49:41 PM  
How long do batteries last in those things? Maybe he didnt want it out for a few days
 
2014-08-12 02:51:04 PM  
it took Nigel Willis five days to muster the courage to get help after accidentally lodging a dildo inside himself last year.

Mr Willis, who lived in Forest Hill with his mother,


Damn, poor guy. He should have asked his Mom for help.
 
Displayed 50 of 103 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report