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(Frederick News Post)   "Can you tell us anything that might help us identify your attacker?"   (fredericknewspost.com) divider line 56
    More: Dumbass  
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12523 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2014 at 3:22 PM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



56 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-12 01:27:40 PM  
"Yes, he has a history of making poor life decisions."
 
2014-08-12 03:24:17 PM  
When you name your kid from a handful of random Scrabble tile this is what happens.
 
2014-08-12 03:24:22 PM  
How much would something like that cost? Rendering yourself unemployable has to be pretty expensive.
 
2014-08-12 03:25:21 PM  
He was hatless?
 
2014-08-12 03:26:30 PM  
encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com
 
2014-08-12 03:27:07 PM  
Bwahahahaha. You win today subby
 
2014-08-12 03:28:13 PM  
As soon as the tattoo gun touched skin, his mostly predetermined lot in life was crystallized. Kill him and put him out of everybodies misery.  He will never be anything resembling a useful human being.
 
2014-08-12 03:28:56 PM  
The I Love $ tat on guy #2 was quality
 
2014-08-12 03:29:05 PM  
He look-a like a man.
 
2014-08-12 03:29:10 PM  
infographicality.com
/oblig
 
2014-08-12 03:29:36 PM  
that's a lot of cranial accesories
 
2014-08-12 03:31:53 PM  

gopher321: "Yes, he has a history of making poor life decisions."


I was going to go with "He had 'poor impulse control' emblazoned across his face!" but yours works too
 
2014-08-12 03:32:39 PM  

redsquid: When you name your kid from a handful of random Scrabble tile this is what happens.


"David Harris" really isn't that weird of a name where I come from.
 
2014-08-12 03:33:08 PM  
Dude...you've got a little something on your face...
 
2014-08-12 03:33:19 PM  

relaxitsjustme: Bwahahahaha. You win today subby


Thanks. It's a rare day when the local news is interesting. If you're into comments, everything removed was either a) "thanks to Affirmative Action we'd have had to hire him anyway" or b) "if the Obamas had a son, this is what he would look like." It took them quite a while to moderate that. Also, this is probably the most commented article I've ever seen on the site.
 
2014-08-12 03:34:01 PM  
"Yes... he was left-handed."
 
2014-08-12 03:34:25 PM  

Sin_City_Superhero: Dude...you've got a little something on your face...


I wonder if his Mom licks her finger and just RUBS RUBS RUBS.
 
2014-08-12 03:34:50 PM  

Gonz: redsquid: When you name your kid from a handful of random Scrabble tile this is what happens.

"David Harris" really isn't that weird of a name where I come from.


Gene Masseth on the other hand...
 
2014-08-12 03:35:46 PM  
img.fark.net

                                                                    WANTED FOR QUESTIONING
 
2014-08-12 03:36:56 PM  
"Daontae Kennen Diggs "

And he wasn't even supposed to be there that day!

images-mediawiki-sites.thefullwiki.org
 
2014-08-12 03:38:05 PM  
The entire tribe was there.
 
2014-08-12 03:42:08 PM  
Tax Boy:
/oblig

I always wonder why that guy has lobster hands.

Maybe those would be useful in prison.
 
2014-08-12 03:45:11 PM  
Jewel Quasha Montaisha Bowie
Qualin Javon Benjamin,
Daontae Kennen Diggs

Pretty much sums it up.
I'm no numerology expert, but I'm guessing alphabet soup was hard on their childhoods.
accent on the hood.

yeah, that makes me racist because I don't have a made up culture.
 
2014-08-12 03:46:05 PM  
It almost looks like he's got the entire treasure map from The Goonies tattoo'd on his head.
 
2014-08-12 03:49:16 PM  
Hey now he's important and will have lawyers and judges giving him a lot of attention and will have his name in the paper and will have his bed and board paid for by the state

He got what he wanted
 
2014-08-12 03:49:49 PM  
www.virals.eu
 
2014-08-12 03:50:58 PM  

Plant Rights Activist: that's a lot of cranial accesories


and for the dumb crowds?
 
2014-08-12 03:51:26 PM  
It seems oddly recursive to get a skull tattooed on your head.
 
2014-08-12 03:55:44 PM  

Heamer: It seems oddly recursive to get a skull tattooed on your head.


Yo dog, I heard you liked skulls...
 
2014-08-12 03:56:48 PM  

Heamer: It seems oddly recursive to get a skull tattooed on your head.


He should get a tattoo of a butt with a butt-shaped tattoo on it, on his butt.
i18.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-12 04:01:47 PM  
i10.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-12 04:03:58 PM  
I hate this terrible profiling of tattooed people.
 
2014-08-12 04:08:39 PM  

jaggspb: Plant Rights Activist: that's a lot of cranial accesories

and for the dumb crowds?


He's got a lot of shiat on his head.
 
2014-08-12 04:11:21 PM  

vudukungfu: yeah, that makes me racist because I don't have a made up culture.



Just curious...how exactly do you think your culture came about?
 
2014-08-12 04:14:39 PM  
When my girlfriend got her third tattoo, I told her she was officially white trash.  I have no idea what to make of this dude...
 
2014-08-12 04:17:45 PM  

Gonz: jaggspb: Plant Rights Activist: that's a lot of cranial accesories

and for the dumb crowds?

He's got a lot of shiat on his head.


i.ytimg.com
It's chocolate!
 
2014-08-12 04:20:33 PM  

p the boiler: The I Love $ tat on guy #2 was quality


I'm no expert (as yet, untattooed), but that looks like the work of a scratcher to me.

// something about the thin lines looks like pics of home-tattoos my friend (a reputable tattoo artist) puts up
// she does this to warn her friends (many of whom might try to save a buck by going to an amateur)
 
2014-08-12 04:25:16 PM  

CheekyMonkey: When my girlfriend got her third tattoo, I told her she was officially white trash.  I have no idea what to make of this dude...


I wouldn't rush to judge. That might just be one tattoo.
 
2014-08-12 04:36:19 PM  

farkingismybusiness: He was hatless?


I repeat, hatless.
 
2014-08-12 04:38:38 PM  

StarshipAngel: It almost looks like he's got the entire treasure map from The Goonies tattoo'd on his head.


That's good, because in jail he's likely to be spending a lot of time with one-eyed willy.
 
2014-08-12 04:40:44 PM  
"He was kinda funny-looking, funnier than most, even."
 
2014-08-12 05:14:32 PM  

Heamer: It seems oddly recursive to get a skull tattooed on your head.


i1.dailyrecord.co.uk

"Some say he has a life-size tattoo of his face, on his face."
 
2014-08-12 05:28:25 PM  
Should be a 1000% tax on facial tattoos. Down payment on the cost of your incarceration.
 
2014-08-12 05:46:38 PM  

derpes_simplex: [img.fark.net image 850x478]

                                                                    WANTED FOR QUESTIONING


gifatron.com
 
2014-08-12 06:17:32 PM  
img.fark.net

Now hold on fellers, this guy apparently loves money.  I like money too, maybe me and him can hang out some time.

/Starbucks anyone?
 
2014-08-12 06:53:27 PM  
Rule #2 of having face tattoos: don't attract any more attention than you already do just from having a face tattoo

/Rule #1 is don't get a face tattoo
 
2014-08-12 06:54:59 PM  

CJHardin: [img.fark.net image 300x372]

Now hold on fellers, this guy apparently loves money.  I like money too, maybe me and him can hang out some time.

/Starbucks anyone?


Hell no. Look at those zits- he's one heavy yawn away from giving you extra creamer.
 
2014-08-12 09:05:13 PM  
What happens if his lawyer demands a line up?

I don't think Office Max has enough black Sharpies.
 
2014-08-12 10:22:58 PM  

StarshipAngel: It almost looks like he's got the entire treasure map from The Goonies tattoo'd on his head.


I was going to go with the back of a children's menu but you're probably closer.
 
2014-08-12 10:47:56 PM  
CSB

My girlfriend's coworker came in to work a couple of months back giggling like a mental patient.  She'd stopped for coffee at a gas station on the way in and had noticed the clerk's name badge which read "La-da". By way of making chitchat while her coffee was being rung up, she asked her how her name was pronounced and was told, "It's Ladashda.  You pronounce the dash."

/CSB
 
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