Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Short List)   Stop throwing things at the Hollywood sign, here are seven upcoming remakes that might actually work   (shortlist.com) divider line 143
    More: Interesting  
•       •       •

7167 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Aug 2014 at 1:11 PM (23 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



143 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-08-12 11:54:33 AM  
One movie that they could remake, and update it for modern times, is Videodrome.

It would totally work with Max Renn as the owner of an online porn site looking for the next big thing.
 
2014-08-12 12:13:43 PM  
There is no need to remake Poltergeist. even the VFX hold up for the most part.
 
2014-08-12 12:45:39 PM  
So, the idea behind the Weird Science remake is to just make it edgier? I bet that will kill half the jokes, and the other half will just have cuss words in them.

The reason that movie worked is because it's an 80s film. You can't pull that plotline off today.
 
2014-08-12 01:17:05 PM  

Mugato: There is no need to remake Poltergeist. even the VFX hold up for the most part.


Not to mention they'll probably fark it up by using some kind of found-footage/shaky-cam/baby monitor video bullshiat or something.
 
2014-08-12 01:19:52 PM  
None of those sound interesting.
 
2014-08-12 01:20:09 PM  

dr.zaeus: Mugato: There is no need to remake Poltergeist. even the VFX hold up for the most part.

Not to mention they'll probably fark it up by using some kind of found-footage/shaky-cam/baby monitor video bullshiat or something.


That, and it'll star a bunch of 30-something models with no real charisma/presence, and it will have that awful over-produced "shiny" look that most modern horror-films have.

I still say that, with VERY few exceptions, all the best horror films were made before 1989. They were gritty and grainy back then, and for horror, that is the perfect look.
 
2014-08-12 01:22:14 PM  

Saborlas: You can't pull that plotline off today.


She'll be 3D printed in this one.
 
2014-08-12 01:25:04 PM  
A Fletch remake?

This particular remake has been a long time coming...

i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-08-12 01:25:38 PM  

dittybopper: One movie that they could remake, and update it for modern times, is Videodrome.

It would totally work with Max Renn as the owner of an online porn site looking for the next big thing.


I re-watched that movie last fall and had the same thought.  We should do lunch, have your people call my people.

Videodrome and Repo Man are two great movies that capture a bit of the 80's birth of cyberpunk as a fiction genre.  Only one of those was billed as a horror movie.

/first I have to hire some people.
 
2014-08-12 01:25:50 PM  
"Weird Science." "... edgier R-rated take ..." will get watered down to PG-13 shortly before release, because studio executives aren't about to take risks with their money. When the "Robocop" remake went over budget, the first thing they did is pull the rating back to PG-13. In their estimation it was the only way to recoup that budget. Instead we got a watered-down PG-13 mess that nobody wanted to see. And behind closed doors they still probably blamed the director, because nothing's ever the production company's fault.

I could stand to see a modern and/or Westernized take on some of these properties. Others should remain memories. For instance, somebody has been trying to make a sequel or remake of "Fletch" for ages. Kevin Smith wanted to make "Fletch Won" with Jason Lee as the title character back in the late nineties. If a property has been in development hell for that long, it's probably going to come out overcooked. I'd actually love to be wrong. I'd love this new "Fletch" flick to come out and be amazing. But I'm running out of faith in the remake machine.
 
2014-08-12 01:27:09 PM  
Looks at the remakes:

"Weird Science":  Fark the author 'cause Kelly Brock in the eighties was damn hot.  They better come up with someone that kills it dead.
"Poltergeist":  ....already I'm loving this shill job.
"Fletch":  ...okay, fark this shiat.  Not reading anymore of this crap
 
2014-08-12 01:29:05 PM  
Slate takes a bad idea and makes a crappy list. Yet again.
Let's hear it for remakes. woo.
 
2014-08-12 01:29:10 PM  
In reference to Amityville, the author has this to say "  and coupled with the fact that the original, well, isn't that great to begin with... ." I have this to say to the author

i149.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-12 01:30:05 PM  
To the entire list, I says this:
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-12 01:30:15 PM  

Polartank13: In reference to Amityville, the author has this to say "  and coupled with the fact that the original, well, isn't that great to begin with... ." I have this to say to the author

[i149.photobucket.com image 205x246]


This right here.
 
2014-08-12 01:30:31 PM  
I can't see Weird Science.  People in 2014 won't even entertain the idea that you can make a chick from a computer.  Computers are far too familiar now.  Teenagers don't relate to cars in 2014 the way they did in 1985 so the Ferrari/Porsche scenes won't resonate the same as they did in the 80s when exotic cars covered every teens bedroom.  The Pershing missile gag doesn't work either.  Nuclear annihilation isn't as big a part of our lives as it was back then.

On the plus side, I suppose you could use characters from the new Mad Max to bust up the party.
 
2014-08-12 01:31:20 PM  
Didn't they already remake Amityville Horror?

/No interest in remakes unless it's a really old movie I've never seen that can be modernized or with a different spin put on it.  None of the ones in TFA fulfill that criteria for me.
 
2014-08-12 01:31:32 PM  
"Logan's Run" needs an update.
Great story, but the effects almost ruined it.

It would be difficut to find someone better than Jenny Agutter for the part, though
 
2014-08-12 01:32:02 PM  

dr.zaeus: Mugato: There is no need to remake Poltergeist. even the VFX hold up for the most part.

Not to mention they'll probably fark it up by using some kind of found-footage/shaky-cam/baby monitor video bullshiat or something.


Well I don't know if you already knew this or you're a prophet but they're remaking Friday the 13th again (to be fair, it was about time, the last reboot was way back in 2009) and it's going to be found footage.

Poltergeist made me want to get into VFX, even more so than Star Wars. When I read about the model house that they painstakingly built, only to suck it through an industrial vacuum in obviously one take, I thought doing FX looked like so much fun. Of course what I do is all ones and zeros. But time marches on.

realmolo: I still say that, with VERY few exceptions, all the best horror films were made before 1989. They were gritty and grainy back then, and for horror, that is the perfect look.


I liked the Scream trilogy a lot but that wasn't exactly a horror franchise. Some of the Japanese horror films are good.

Hellraiser, that's a horror film I'd like to see remade, only because creator Clive Barker wasn't happy with what he was able to do the first time around.
 
2014-08-12 01:36:20 PM  
I maintain that the only remake that was both a good movie and better than the original in the last 20 years is Dredd. And that's only because the Stalone version was absolutely terrible.

I would have given Piranha 3D a nod here, but it's not really a "good movie" so much as it's a "fun to watch movie" because it's so intentionally and conspicuously bad.
 
2014-08-12 01:36:33 PM  
i.ebayimg.com

What watching a crappy remake feels like
 
2014-08-12 01:36:38 PM  
I really think Weird Science could make a decent reboot. They have to cast the female lead just right, but that movie could really benefit from an R rating and some updates.
 
2014-08-12 01:37:15 PM  
I heard they were doing a remake of one of the Transformers movies. Or, maybe it was a whole new movie. I'm not sure, it just involved fighting robots and explosions.
 
2014-08-12 01:38:05 PM  

give me doughnuts: "Logan's Run" needs an update.
Great story, but the effects almost ruined it.

It would be difficut to find someone better than Jenny Agutter for the part, though


A PG rated movie where boobies were plentiful. Never see that again.
 
2014-08-12 01:38:13 PM  

give me doughnuts: "Logan's Run" needs an update.
Great story, but the effects almost ruined it.

It would be difficut to find someone better than Jenny Agutter for the part, though


I was going to say, "Maybe she has a daughter."  But according to Wiki, only a son.
 
2014-08-12 01:39:07 PM  

realmolo: dr.zaeus: Mugato: There is no need to remake Poltergeist. even the VFX hold up for the most part.

Not to mention they'll probably fark it up by using some kind of found-footage/shaky-cam/baby monitor video bullshiat or something.

That, and it'll star a bunch of 30-something models with no real charisma/presence, and it will have that awful over-produced "shiny" look that most modern horror-films have.

I still say that, with VERY few exceptions, all the best horror films were made before 1989. They were gritty and grainy back then, and for horror, that is the perfect look.



I've avoided most of the horror remakes after a couple of bad experiences. One of the ones I gave a chance was Last House on the Left. the original was really disturbing because of the low budget... it almost seemed like you were filming or watching a home made tape of all the awful things that were happening. There was a voyeuristic quality to it that the new one didn't have. And that's just one of the many things that went wrong with that remake.
 
2014-08-12 01:39:33 PM  
I remember seeing Flatliners in the theater and thinking...what an awesome idea for a story (four friends slowly tear friendships apart as they essentially become addicted to the near death experience, each challenging themselves to staying dangerously longer in the near death experience than the previous one). But then the last half of the movie chickens out and just becomes a "stop the supernatural killer" kind of movie.
 
2014-08-12 01:41:27 PM  
Nope, nope, nope, maybe but probably not, nope nope, Amytiville?

Oh fark you - hasn't that been remade about a dozen times already?
 
2014-08-12 01:41:37 PM  
Suicide Kings, please.

/Hollywood...they make great sequels...
 
2014-08-12 01:43:20 PM  

snowshovel: I remember seeing Flatliners in the theater and thinking...what an awesome idea for a story (four friends slowly tear friendships apart as they essentially become addicted to the near death experience, each challenging themselves to staying dangerously longer in the near death experience than the previous one). But then the last half of the movie chickens out and just becomes a "stop the supernatural killer" kind of movie.


Well it was directed by Joel Schumacher, who unlike his Two-Face in Batman Forever, has two different personalities. One can direct and one is a fark up. The coin comes up on the scarred side more often than not.
 
2014-08-12 01:43:41 PM  
I read that they are remaking Spring Breakers with Ariel Winter, Peyton List, and Joey King.
 
2014-08-12 01:44:25 PM  

Rapmaster2000: I can't see Weird Science.  People in 2014 won't even entertain the idea that you can make a chick from a computer.  Computers are far too familiar now.  Teenagers don't relate to cars in 2014 the way they did in 1985 so the Ferrari/Porsche scenes won't resonate the same as they did in the 80s when exotic cars covered every teens bedroom.  The Pershing missile gag doesn't work either.  Nuclear annihilation isn't as big a part of our lives as it was back then.

On the plus side, I suppose you could use characters from the new Mad Max to bust up the party


That's why it has to throw all that out to be a good remake. The title is Weird Science. Combine the computer stuff with genetic sequencing, nanotech, cloning and whatever. New things for the teens to covet, new gags. All you need to keep is the lead lady and two teens who don't fit in.
 
2014-08-12 01:45:11 PM  

kbronsito: One of the ones I gave a chance was Last House on the Left. the original was really disturbing because of the low budget... it almost seemed like you were filming or watching a home made tape of all the awful things that were happening. There was a voyeuristic quality to it that the new one didn't have. And that's just one of the many things that went wrong with that remake.


Hmm. I rather liked it; to me, it had more of a real feel than the predecessor. So, the exact opposite of you. Interesting.
 
2014-08-12 01:48:43 PM  
FTA: It's also produced by American Horror Story's Ryan Murphy, who knows a few things about the genre.

He also knows how to fark things up completely. See also: Damon Lindelof.
/Glee
//LOST
 
2014-08-12 01:49:04 PM  

snowshovel: But then the last half of the movie chickens out and just becomes a "stop the supernatural killer" kind of movie.


I don't see how they thought they were ever going to put the "hallucinations" angle to film without making it cheesy and stupid. It has to be incredibly difficult to portray a person's hallucinatory torment to a third party through a movie screen.

I think it actually would have been MORE tolerable if it had just gone a more formulaic "brought back an angry dead thing" route instead of the stupid guilty conscience thing they wound up with. At least then it would have been a forgettable movie instead of a regrettable one.

Another movie that could benefit from remaking the bad ending out of it: Insidious. First half is decent. Second half suddenly turns face and becomes an idiotic farce. I swear to god the only more brazen middle finger a filmmaker ever gave the audience was the ending to Crank 2. And that was literal.
 
2014-08-12 01:52:55 PM  
The one the remake:
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-12 01:54:08 PM  
Wake me when they remake this.

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-08-12 01:54:46 PM  

Rapmaster2000: People in 2014 won't even entertain the idea that you can make a chick from a computer.  Computers are far too familiar now.


I'd assume they'd use a 3D printer this time around.
 
2014-08-12 01:57:01 PM  

Kangaroo_Ralph: Wake me when they remake this.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 318x494]


I thought they already did that in 2001 with  Rat Race. As if I saw it.
 
2014-08-12 01:58:22 PM  

swahnhennessy: Kangaroo_Ralph: Wake me when they remake this.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 318x494]

I thought they already did that in 2001 with  Rat Race. As if I saw it.


Oh, Rickyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.
 
2014-08-12 02:03:13 PM  
img.fark.net

Now there's a movie remake waiting to happen.
 
2014-08-12 02:04:08 PM  

give me doughnuts: "Logan's Run" needs an update.
Great story, but the effects almost ruined it.

It would be difficut to find someone better than Jenny Agutter for the part, though


You didn't see "The Island"?

Pretty sure an actual remake has been in the works for years.
 
2014-08-12 02:05:12 PM  

Kangaroo_Ralph: Wake me when they remake this.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 318x494]


Who would they get to play Captain Chaos?
 
2014-08-12 02:09:16 PM  

StrikitRich: give me doughnuts: "Logan's Run" needs an update.
Great story, but the effects almost ruined it.

It would be difficut to find someone better than Jenny Agutter for the part, though

You didn't see "The Island"?

Pretty sure an actual remake has been in the works for years.


It didn't count without the orgy room.
 
2014-08-12 02:09:57 PM  
There's no way a Death Note movie could do the series justice.

The only anime I'd seen was DBZ when I was a kid, but a few months back decided to give it another try since I was out of decent TV shows to watch. Death Note was the 3rd anime on my list, and it was every bit of the hype. Really excellent TV; at least the first 2/3rds.

Check it out.
 
2014-08-12 02:10:13 PM  
I'm still waiting for them to make a proper movie out of I Am Legend.

They've made several movies that kinda-sorta referenced it, but nothing that actually followed the plot or got the point of the book.
 
2014-08-12 02:11:29 PM  
Looks like a list that can bypass major release as well as Netflix and just go straight to delete.   Damn, people.  Amityville was based on a scam.  Time to let it go.   At least remake some movies with plots and stories.   Remake "The Beachcomber" and revolve around Ebola.   Can anyone make a movie that is not Anime?
 
2014-08-12 02:13:13 PM  
Maybe for some awful, dystopian definition of the word "work".
 
2014-08-12 02:15:44 PM  

give me doughnuts: Kangaroo_Ralph: Wake me when they remake this.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 318x494]

Who would they get to play Captain Chaos?


Nathan Lane.

NEXT!
 
2014-08-12 02:16:41 PM  

Kangaroo_Ralph: Wake me when they remake this.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 318x494]


I'm not sure the current hollywood stars could pull off a movie like this, everyone is too worried about how they are viewed.
 
Displayed 50 of 143 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report