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(When On Earth)   Attention tourists: If you're visiting the United States there are some things you can do to blend in, including adding ice to every drink, call football soccer, and brag about being dumb   (whenonearth.net) divider line 331
    More: Obvious, strict rules  
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10748 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2014 at 7:23 AM (15 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-12 03:02:12 PM  

Snarcoleptic_Hoosier: I want a Parisian hipster - beret, Marcel Marceau-style striped shirt, comically large cigarette, and maybe a Monty Python-esque french accent.


I used to work with French folks and that's pretty much what I came up with but I would add that they spend their free time painting the Eiffel Tower
 
2014-08-12 03:14:34 PM  

gfid: Drug dealers are ahead of the game when it comes to the metric system. We may buy pot by the ounce or half ounce - I do anyway, but they measure that shiat in grams. Look motherfarker - there are 28.3495 grams to an ounce, not 28. Stop ripping me off!


They pull the same sort of trick on us booze-hounds: our "fifths of a gallon" are now 750 milliliters, when they should be about 757; our "half gallons" are now 1.75 liters, when they should be about 1.89...
 
2014-08-12 03:29:14 PM  

joeshill: 6. Only include American teams in the World Series.
Baseball was invented in the United States.


Modern baseball, as played in the US, was developed in the US, but it evolved from older bat and ball games, some of which were known as baseball, and shared many of its features, in much the same way that American football shares much of its history with other football codes.

upload.wikimedia.org

More here.
 
Ant
2014-08-12 03:35:54 PM  

FullMetalPanda: Only retards ask for ice in their drink.

You paying for ice instead of the drink.  I don't farking care how hot it is outside, no ICE.  I paid for the drink not half the drink and the rest ice.


Only cheapskates of the highest order would even worry about such a thing.
 
Ant
2014-08-12 03:40:07 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Ant: All warm beer tastes like shiat, in my opinion.

That's because you drink swill.


It doesn't matter what beer it is. Show me a beer I should drink warm.
 
Ant
2014-08-12 03:54:06 PM  

Maud Dib: Burr: LaurenAguilera: Having spent the weekend at an amusement park, I would also add "not wearing a bra if you are obese, definitely wearing tank tops and bathing suit tops if you are obese, lycra shorts are OK even if your shirt does not cover your ass."

Holy hell, America.

It is fair (state and county) season.  Good lord the people you see on the midway.  It is embarrassing

He_Hate_Me: .  It's only recently that places like Wisconsin are bringing some of that "hey, let's do more than just sit and watch" spirit to American stadiums.

Got to a Texas A&M game.  They stand through the entire thing, since at least 2000 (probably longer then that, I have just know about it since 2000)

[eye-on-college-football.blogs.cbssports.com image 512x341]

Don't forget the "Squeezin' o' the Nuts".

I'm not kidding.

[i224.photobucket.com image 804x599]


WTF is that?
 
2014-08-12 04:02:22 PM  

Ant: Lando Lincoln: Ant: All warm beer tastes like shiat, in my opinion.

That's because you drink swill.

It doesn't matter what beer it is. Show me a beer I should drink warm.


Define "warm."

Very Cold: 35-40 degrees
American Adjunct Lagers ("Macros")
Malt Liquors
Light or low alcohol beers

Cold: 40-45 degrees
Pilsner
Light-bodied lagers
Kolsch
Belgian Wit
Hefeweizen
Berliner weisse
American Wheat

Cool: 45-50 degrees
American Pale Ales
Medium-bodied lagers
India Pale Ale (IPA)
Porters
Alt
Irish Stouts
Sweet Stout

Cellar Temp: 50-55 degrees
Sour Ales
Lambic/Gueuze
English Bitter
Strong Ales
Baltic Porters
Bocks
Scotch Ales
Belgian Ales
Trappist Ales

Warm: 55-60 degrees
Imperial Stouts
Belgian Quads
Belgian Strong Ales
Barley Wines
Old Ales
Dopplebock
Eisbock
 
Ant
2014-08-12 04:04:31 PM  

The_Sponge: I live in the Seattle area, and I loathe Starbucks.


Have you tried Vivace? They're farking awesome.
 
2014-08-12 04:07:38 PM  

rwdavis: The mile is quite literally defined as 1000 paces in its origins (millenium has the same root), the fact that the American system of measurement no longer has the pace as a unit doesn't change that.



From mille passuum, or 1000 paces with the pace being two steps. The army would put sticks in the ground every 1000 paces along its line of march to measure the miles.
It got standardized to 5000 Roman feet because the more tired the army got, the shorter its miles got.
 
Ant
2014-08-12 04:10:51 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Ant: Lando Lincoln: Ant: All warm beer tastes like shiat, in my opinion.

That's because you drink swill.

It doesn't matter what beer it is. Show me a beer I should drink warm.

Define "warm."

Very Cold: 35-40 degrees
American Adjunct Lagers ("Macros")
Malt Liquors
Light or low alcohol beers

Cold: 40-45 degrees
Pilsner
Light-bodied lagers
Kolsch
Belgian Wit
Hefeweizen
Berliner weisse
American Wheat

Cool: 45-50 degrees
American Pale Ales
Medium-bodied lagers
India Pale Ale (IPA)
Porters
Alt
Irish Stouts
Sweet Stout

Cellar Temp: 50-55 degrees
Sour Ales
Lambic/Gueuze
English Bitter
Strong Ales
Baltic Porters
Bocks
Scotch Ales
Belgian Ales
Trappist Ales

Warm: 55-60 degrees
Imperial Stouts
Belgian Quads
Belgian Strong Ales
Barley Wines
Old Ales
Dopplebock
Eisbock


I usually drink non-macro light-bodied lager. I don't think I like beer quite as much as other people do.
 
2014-08-12 04:15:24 PM  

Lando Lincoln: Define "warm."



I like to use Normal Temperature and Pressure as a starting point.

Normal (a/k/a ambient temperature) is 21C, so for me "warm" is at least 25C.
 
2014-08-12 04:29:07 PM  

Ant: I usually drink non-macro light-bodied lager. I don't think I like beer quite as much as other people do.


I didn't either, five years ago. Now I think I've tried about 70% of the styles brewed today. There's a giant universe of beer out there. Go out and explore.
 
2014-08-12 04:38:39 PM  

rwdavis: LazyMedia: rwdavis: A mile is 1000 paces. Your move metric.

No, it isn't. A mile is 1,760 yards. Unless you can stride 5 and a quarter feet with each pace.

English measurements ARE very useful in construction, because you can divide feet and yards by 4 and 3, and use awesome tools like a speed square to easily scale things with even units. This is one reason why 100-second metric minutes never caught on (the French tried it during the Revolution); there are vast advantages in terms of dividing time to a 60-minute hour. This also applies to English cooking measurements; it's a heck of a lot easier to divide a recipe by a factor of three or four with cups and teaspoons than with ccs.

Other great things about English measurement includes: a track around 120-yard football field is a quarter-mile, or 440 yards, roughly the longest distance that can be run at a moderate sprinting pace, while a furlong (220 yards, 1/8 mile) is the farthest you can sprint flat out. A foot is, as said, a foot. A man's thumb is about one inch wide. A yard is the length of an average stride, and is about the length of your arm from nose to fingertips (a cubit is half that length). A pint of water (or beer!) weighs a pound, as does a standard loaf of bread.

An acre, btw, is 660 feet (one furlong) on a side. A square mile is 64 acres. Again, nicely divisible by 2 and 4. Try that with hectares.

The mile is quite literally defined as 1000 paces in its origins (millenium has the same root), the fact that the American system of measurement no longer has the pace as a unit doesn't change that.


They must have counted two strides as a pace. Nobody has 5-foot strides, but little stubby Romans might have 2.5-foot strides. ::checks wiki:: Yup, the Roman pace was two marching steps, and a thousand paces made up a Roman mile. So it makes sense.
 
2014-08-12 04:42:59 PM  

mike_d85: Fark_Guy_Rob: I live in Europe.

This is how it works.
1.)  Europeans mock American's for X
2.)  5-10 years or so (sometimes more, sometimes less) x slowly becomes popular in Europe
3.)  Europeans mock American's for X while X is incredibly common in Europe

Obesity and fast food jump to the top of the list.  'Haha!  Fat American's eating at McDonald's!  Drinking their Starbucks!'.  Meanwhile, Europe is experiencing the same obesity epidemic and McDonald's and Starbucks are on every corner.

People are the same.

Hell, Americans do that to each other.

"Those drinks at starbucks are stupid"
"I guess since I'm AT starbucks I'll have a mocha-chino-chai-vanilla-latte..."

I do it.  I can't drink their coffee, it's awful if it doesn't have half a glass of milk and a shot of sugary syrup covering the flavor.


Starbucks doesn't sell coffee; they sell milkshakes. You get better black coffee at the Quik-E-Mart.
 
2014-08-12 04:49:48 PM  

Ant: Lando Lincoln: Ant: All warm beer tastes like shiat, in my opinion.

That's because you drink swill.

It doesn't matter what beer it is. Show me a beer I should drink warm.


Warm in terms of beer is a misnomer. What people refer to as warm beer is actually cask ale at cellar temperature, 54-47 degrees. It's not actually warm, just warmer than the 40-degree lager that most people are used to.
 
2014-08-12 04:59:55 PM  

LazyMedia: rwdavis: LazyMedia: rwdavis: A mile is 1000 paces. Your move metric.

No, it isn't. A mile is 1,760 yards. Unless you can stride 5 and a quarter feet with each pace.

English measurements ARE very useful in construction, because you can divide feet and yards by 4 and 3, and use awesome tools like a speed square to easily scale things with even units. This is one reason why 100-second metric minutes never caught on (the French tried it during the Revolution); there are vast advantages in terms of dividing time to a 60-minute hour. This also applies to English cooking measurements; it's a heck of a lot easier to divide a recipe by a factor of three or four with cups and teaspoons than with ccs.

Other great things about English measurement includes: a track around 120-yard football field is a quarter-mile, or 440 yards, roughly the longest distance that can be run at a moderate sprinting pace, while a furlong (220 yards, 1/8 mile) is the farthest you can sprint flat out. A foot is, as said, a foot. A man's thumb is about one inch wide. A yard is the length of an average stride, and is about the length of your arm from nose to fingertips (a cubit is half that length). A pint of water (or beer!) weighs a pound, as does a standard loaf of bread.

An acre, btw, is 660 feet (one furlong) on a side. A square mile is 64 acres. Again, nicely divisible by 2 and 4. Try that with hectares.

The mile is quite literally defined as 1000 paces in its origins (millenium has the same root), the fact that the American system of measurement no longer has the pace as a unit doesn't change that.

They must have counted two strides as a pace. Nobody has 5-foot strides, but little stubby Romans might have 2.5-foot strides. ::checks wiki:: Yup, the Roman pace was two marching steps, and a thousand paces made up a Roman mile. So it makes sense.


My personal favorite old-timey unit was the oxgang which measured the area of a farm by the number oxen needed to till the fields. Wonderfully nebulous but eminently practical.
 
2014-08-12 05:03:03 PM  

NakedDrummer: From all my travels, I found that every place prefers American tourists to European tourists, even in Europe.  When I was in Thailand the girls gushed over my muscular arms, chiseled chin, and fat wallet.  They pushed passed those pansy whiney Euro guys to get to me.


In my unscientific survey of waitstaff in Italy, the answers given most often included Russia and China. They said both groups were extremely rude, demanding, and unappreciative, condescending, argumentative, and cheap.

Americans were somewhere in the middle of the pack.

I guess it comes down to "new money" behavior, which was the Americans as they began traveling in the second half of the last century. I think many Americans are now both experienced with traveling and are aware of how to behave, its become a diminished problem. The Chinese and Russians are both still in the mode of thinking the world owes them something, like a kid with a new toy. It also doesn't help that they are both cultures where being pushy and rude anent considered character flaws.
 
2014-08-12 05:07:55 PM  

mike_d85: 3) I recognize this.  People complain about New Yorkers particularly too much.  I found them quite friendly.


their first question is always "what do you do?"

/ if I am asked this question within two sentences of a new conversation, i say, "what, are you from new york or something?"
// the answer, so far, has always been yes
/// I understand that i have not made truth preserving logical statements.  and I don't feel like re-writing it, so... uh, that's just where we are.
 
2014-08-12 07:09:58 PM  

traylor: OgreMagi: When I was in a Budapest McDonalds (not my choice, my fiancé's daughter wanted to go), they looked at me like I was insane when I asked for ice in my Coke.

That must have happened a long ago. If you don't ask otherwise you get ice in your Coke in the summer, no ice in the winter, and they always ask you if you want ice in the spring/autumn. I think it's a standard direction for them because whenever I go to MCD or BK this is what happens to me.


It was about 15 years ago.

Also, you don't need to ask anything to look insane.

Fair observation.
 
2014-08-12 07:21:54 PM  

The_Sponge: OgreMagi: When I was in a Budapest McDonalds (not my choice, my fiancé's daughter wanted to go), they looked at me like I was insane when I asked for ice in my Coke.


Was it the really large one that used to be a small train station, or something like that?  I was there when I was 12.

/CSB.


Nope.  It was a smaller one next to the Danu on the Pest side.  I don't remember the street.
 
2014-08-12 07:52:15 PM  

Flab: Also, saying a yard is one pace and 1760 yards is about 1000 paces is so retarded, he had to be trolling.


" A yard is (approx) an average walking pace. A Mile is (approx) 1000 marching paces."

Different things are different.
 
2014-08-12 08:45:08 PM  
 
2014-08-12 11:03:35 PM  

LazyMedia: rwdavis: A mile is 1000 paces. Your move metric.

No, it isn't. A mile is 1,760 yards. Unless you can stride 5 and a quarter feet with each pace.


A pace is 2 steps. Stand with feet together, step with left foot, then right foot. That's one pace. For most people, that's about 5 ft.
 
2014-08-12 11:32:43 PM  

OgreMagi: The_Sponge: OgreMagi: When I was in a Budapest McDonalds (not my choice, my fiancé's daughter wanted to go), they looked at me like I was insane when I asked for ice in my Coke.


Was it the really large one that used to be a small train station, or something like that?  I was there when I was 12.

/CSB.

Nope.  It was a smaller one next to the Danu on the Pest side.  I don't remember the street.


Ah...gotcha.

I was only guilty of visiting one Anerican chain restaurant in Prague.

/Hooters.
 
2014-08-13 05:00:12 AM  

cameroncrazy1984: Yanks_RSJ: Yeah our sports fans are out of control. Maybe we need a few massive stadium crushings mixed with a dash of vile racism to be sophisticated like our European superiors.

How about a take that's newer than 1985?


do you have to be a wet blanket in EVERY thread?  geez
 
2014-08-13 07:56:26 AM  
Here, have a nice refreshing glass of luke warm water......
 
2014-08-13 09:17:29 AM  

The_Sponge: Flab: The_Sponge: On the flip side, allow me to give advice on how to visit the Czech Republic:

Don't be a dick, and learn how to say hello, please, and thank you in Czech.

/That's it.

That's easy. "Prosim" means all of those.

Hey....you learn something new every day. I just used it when saying please.


I was mostly joking. Prosim means please and you're welcome. Thank you is, IIRC, djekujy. And I don't remember what hello was.
 
2014-08-13 09:25:45 AM  

Ant: Lando Lincoln: Ant: All warm beer tastes like shiat, in my opinion.

That's because you drink swill.

It doesn't matter what beer it is. Show me a beer I should drink warm.


A good beer should be drinkable - not good, but drinkable - at room temperature. If you have to serve it below the freezing point (e.g. Bud or Corona), it's not a good beer.
 
2014-08-13 11:23:20 AM  
"and brag about being dumb"...well, about a lot of things really. Inventing nuclear weapons, going to the moon, having the largest economy in human history. It's hard to pick just one.
 
2014-08-13 01:30:17 PM  

Flab: I was mostly joking. Prosim means please and you're welcome. Thank you is, IIRC, djekujy. And I don't remember what hello was.



1) Yes, it means thank you.

2) Hello is dobri den....IIRC, it means good day as well, but commonly used as hello.

/Want to go back to bad.
 
2014-08-13 01:31:07 PM  
^so bad, not to bad
 
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