Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(When On Earth)   Attention tourists: If you're visiting the United States there are some things you can do to blend in, including adding ice to every drink, call football soccer, and brag about being dumb   (whenonearth.net) divider line 331
    More: Obvious, strict rules  
•       •       •

10791 clicks; posted to Main » on 12 Aug 2014 at 7:23 AM (51 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



331 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-08-12 08:01:40 AM  
Water, soda, beer, they all have ice in them. Restaurants are able to save money this way because they can fill half the glass with nothing but ice while charging for refills.

Getting away from the absurdity of claiming we take ice in our beer, I'm unclear on where people get charged for water refills, and how adding ice would save the restaurant on...water costs?

People get ice because they like ice. I can accept that it's cultural, but it has nothing to do with mitigating cost.
 
2014-08-12 08:02:11 AM  
Hope you enjoyed your visit to the greatest country on the planet tourist. It doesn't take a mathematician to figure out your teeny tiny paycheck or a geometry major to know that your country sucks. Now go home to your crappy gun less 3rd world nation. Enjoy a kids meal menu portion at dinner. Sleep in your cramped 2 room flat (shared bathroom down the hall) with 4 generations of family members. Assume the straphanger position on your, only thing you can afford, public transportation mode of travel with the other unwashed masses. When you get to the meaningless job you can talk about your wonderful trip to America, and how you'd have more sports choices if your fellow countrymen could figure out different size balls.
 
2014-08-12 08:02:33 AM  

Gabrielmot: macadamnut: No way this wasn't written by an American. Word Series?

Yeah, that and while he's right that calling it a World Series (or Word Series) is a stretch... The Toronto Bluejays aren't from the US.

So, you know, it's a World Series in that the only two countries in the world that matter play in it.

Plus a good portion of the players aren't *from* the US.


That was my thought.  If you're going to troll us about the World Series, at least 1) spell it right and 2) get at least basic facts about it right.  There's plenty in it to troll, like the fact that teams play 162 games each year just to get to the playoffs, which adds up to about 12 minutes of total action in a season.
 
2014-08-12 08:02:51 AM  

Burr: LaurenAguilera: Having spent the weekend at an amusement park, I would also add "not wearing a bra if you are obese, definitely wearing tank tops and bathing suit tops if you are obese, lycra shorts are OK even if your shirt does not cover your ass."

Holy hell, America.

It is fair (state and county) season.  Good lord the people you see on the midway.  It is embarrassing

He_Hate_Me: .  It's only recently that places like Wisconsin are bringing some of that "hey, let's do more than just sit and watch" spirit to American stadiums.

Got to a Texas A&M game.  They stand through the entire thing, since at least 2000 (probably longer then that, I have just know about it since 2000)

[eye-on-college-football.blogs.cbssports.com image 512x341]


In all fairness, they are Aggies, so they don't have the spare brain cells to master sitting.
 
2014-08-12 08:03:13 AM  

cameroncrazy1984: Yanks_RSJ: Yeah our sports fans are out of control. Maybe we need a few massive stadium crushings mixed with a dash of vile racism to be sophisticated like our European superiors.

How about a take that's newer than 1985?


I guess I forgot racism was eradicated from European football long ago. Surely it doesn't still exist, and definitely not 3 months ago when a banana was thrown at Dani Alves.

Probably an isolated incident.
 
2014-08-12 08:03:22 AM  
Ohhhh. Now I get it. "WhenOnEarth.com" is a poorly written web site that publishes ridiculous stereotypes! Got it!
 
2014-08-12 08:03:40 AM  
Satire of the US?  It's been done.  And far funnier.

ecx.images-amazon.com
(clicky for Amazon)

www.modernhumorist.com
www.modernhumorist.com
http://www.modernhumorist.com/mh/0105/guide/
 
2014-08-12 08:04:21 AM  

Burr: Got to a Texas A&M game. They stand through the entire thing, since at least 2000 (probably longer then that, I have just know about it since 2000)


Well standing and cheering is one thing. They're not firing off flares, setting things on fire and, as far as I know, stadiums in the US don't need fenced in sections to keep people from killing each other,  players and refs.
 
2014-08-12 08:04:22 AM  
That's a shockingly judgemental and ignorant article. I'm guessing most people on this site are American, and you seem like an intelligent decent, all though somewhat drunken bunch.
 
2014-08-12 08:05:25 AM  
Next to baseball and apple pie, being outraged is one of the country's oldest traditions.

That's gold.
 
2014-08-12 08:06:07 AM  

cameroncrazy1984: Yanks_RSJ: Yeah our sports fans are out of control. Maybe we need a few massive stadium crushings mixed with a dash of vile racism to be sophisticated like our European superiors.

How about a take that's newer than 1985?



No hooligans, but a bunch of racism in 2014.  Notably fans throwing bananas at black players.  I'm sick to death of Our Betters In Europe calling US racist.  Those guys are racist as hell.  For the bonus point, go to Germany and say something nice about Turks to the first blue collar looking guy you see.  I'll wait.
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/world-cup-2014-racism-casts-shadow-over- so ccers-big-event/
 
2014-08-12 08:07:55 AM  

www.customu.com

static.planetminecraft.com

An "author" who tries to make a living trolling the internet is truly a sad sight.
 
2014-08-12 08:10:07 AM  
I ate lunch with a guy from India yesterday and he cracked himself up by ordering an "iced tea with no ice".
 
2014-08-12 08:10:11 AM  

fireclown: cameroncrazy1984: Yanks_RSJ: Yeah our sports fans are out of control. Maybe we need a few massive stadium crushings mixed with a dash of vile racism to be sophisticated like our European superiors.

How about a take that's newer than 1985?


No hooligans, but a bunch of racism in 2014.  Notably fans throwing bananas at black players.  I'm sick to death of Our Betters In Europe calling US racist.  Those guys are racist as hell.  For the bonus point, go to Germany and say something nice about Turks to the first blue collar looking guy you see.  I'll wait.
http://www.cbsnews.com/news/world-cup-2014-racism-casts-shadow-over- so ccers-big-event/


Turk?  Hell, ask him about the Walloons.

/Or the Jews.
 
2014-08-12 08:11:24 AM  

Rapmaster2000: Wendy's Chili: magus007: Here in Rome you can usually spot Americans they are generously proportioned people loudly shouting about how old everything is.  I have been to the US and never see these types... I was wondering if there was a place they were manufactured to export.

Indiana.

I've wondered if when airlines estimate the fuel they need if they choose average weight of passenger based on location. I thought of this at the airport in Indianapolis.


The FAA guideline used to be 250lbs (I think they uppped it to 300 or even more), but I know one at least one low-cost carrier who would ask passengers their weight at the check-in counter.

Attendant: how many pieces of luggage, ma'am?
Passenger: just one.
A: put it on the conveyor belt. Thank you.
A: how much do you weigh?
P: what?
A: it's for fuel calculations.
P: you don't fill the tanks on every flight?
A: no ma'am. We couldn't charge you 95$ for a flight from Newark to St-Petersburg if we did.
P: ok, then.. 195.
(Attendant looks at lady and types 300)
 
2014-08-12 08:11:46 AM  

Burr: macross87: Texas also knows how to throw a good bonfire!

Dude, my wife (not at the time of course) was almost involved in that (she got called into work at the last minute).


Is that a good thing? Hard to tell with Fark.
 
2014-08-12 08:13:02 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: Water, soda, beer, they all have ice in them. Restaurants are able to save money this way because they can fill half the glass with nothing but ice while charging for refills.

Getting away from the absurdity of claiming we take ice in our beer, I'm unclear on where people get charged for water refills, and how adding ice would save the restaurant on...water costs?

People get ice because they like ice. I can accept that it's cultural, but it has nothing to do with mitigating cost.


I DNRTFA, but... adding ice to fountain sodas could potentially reduce the cost per soda, on the syrup used ... but... I don't even think it would be by enough to count
 
2014-08-12 08:14:11 AM  

stoicjohn: I ate lunch with a guy from India yesterday and he cracked himself up by ordering an "iced tea with no ice".


I spent some time in India, on and off from about 1995 to 2010, and I was kind of surprised that the increase in affluence hasn't resulted in more ice.  The sunshine in India is fantastic, but it's flippin' hot.
 
2014-08-12 08:17:20 AM  

Lando Lincoln: GDubDub: Kind of funny.  Replace that with an article about the biggest stereotypes of a race or member of a religion, and it would have had limited distribution on hate-blogs.

...and though I am sure it has happened, somewhere, I've personally never seen anyone put ice in beer.

I think I've put ice in beer once. When I was young and foolish and didn't want to wait for a cold beer. But I was drinking nasty beer anyway, so ice really didn't really hurt the experience.


Go to Laos. Beers there are frequently accompanied by a bucket of ice. Not to chill the beer in, but to put into the glasses. I had a really nice dinner with a bunch of Laotians; they would pour me a beer after filling my glass to the top with ice cubes.
 
2014-08-12 08:17:50 AM  

ultradeeg: Miller lite... On the rocks...  USA USA USA


You put ice in your glass of yellow-tinted water?
 
2014-08-12 08:20:11 AM  

magus007:  I have been to the US and never see these types... I was wondering if there was a place they were manufactured to export to other countries who are more civilised than the US to annoy them.


They're from the "fly-over" states. Less likely to be visited by foreign tourists.
 
2014-08-12 08:21:24 AM  

Burr: I lived in southern France for three months.  I blended in the best I could, just didn't speak the language.  A pair of German tourists thought I was a local one time until I told them I wasn't.

It was pretty easy to do, but my conversation with non English speakers was limited to "Bonjour, Bonsoir, Merci, De Rien, S'il vous plaît" and "Baguette"


appelez-moi monsieur Crossanwich
 
2014-08-12 08:21:37 AM  

Voxper: Lando Lincoln: GDubDub: Kind of funny.  Replace that with an article about the biggest stereotypes of a race or member of a religion, and it would have had limited distribution on hate-blogs.

...and though I am sure it has happened, somewhere, I've personally never seen anyone put ice in beer.

I think I've put ice in beer once. When I was young and foolish and didn't want to wait for a cold beer. But I was drinking nasty beer anyway, so ice really didn't really hurt the experience.

Go to Laos. Beers there are frequently accompanied by a bucket of ice. Not to chill the beer in, but to put into the glasses. I had a really nice dinner with a bunch of Laotians; they would pour me a beer after filling my glass to the top with ice cubes.


They also eat giant spiders, worms and rats so that probably the least offensive thing they can do.
 
2014-08-12 08:21:45 AM  
Having 100 centimeters equal a meter, or 1,000 grams to a kilogram would be confusing.

No, the reason we stubbornly stick with the Imperial system is because we are intuitively familiar with it... We all know exactly how much a pound or gallon or foot is... We don't intuitively know that about the metric units, because we didn't grow up with them... So, we have to convert them to Imperial units first before we can really understand what they mean... If we just bit the bullet and started teaching kids to exclusively use metric units, this shiat would sort itself out in a generation, and just leave some old foggies biatching about the whippersnappers and their millimeters and centiliters...

Though, for some reason, we've been a lot more accepting of the liter as a native, intuitive measure, at least when it comes to beverages... Us booze-hounds have long accepted fifths of a gallon being replaced with 750 milliliters, and half gallons replaced with 1.75 liters... Soda has been sold in liters for ages... But, don't try to sell us gas by the liter! That's commie talk!

/You'd think we'd like the idea of gas by the liter...
//Wouldn't you love the see the prices at the pump cut by almost 1/4?!
///Sure, it would just be a psychological trick, but I think it would make people happy to see gas around $1 again...
 
2014-08-12 08:23:29 AM  

magus007: Here in Rome you can usually spot Americans they are generously proportioned people loudly shouting about how old everything is.  I have been to the US and never see these types... I was wondering if there was a place they were manufactured to export to other countries who are more civilised than the US to annoy them. It is not a bad idea, a lot of Europeans ignore America because they think it is populated by people with Hawaiian shirts who talk very loudly.


We have them in America, but as often as possible we try to send them over to Europe.
 
2014-08-12 08:23:52 AM  

Flab: Rapmaster2000: Wendy's Chili: magus007: Here in Rome you can usually spot Americans they are generously proportioned people loudly shouting about how old everything is.  I have been to the US and never see these types... I was wondering if there was a place they were manufactured to export.

Indiana.

I've wondered if when airlines estimate the fuel they need if they choose average weight of passenger based on location. I thought of this at the airport in Indianapolis.

The FAA guideline used to be 250lbs (I think they uppped it to 300 or even more), but I know one at least one low-cost carrier who would ask passengers their weight at the check-in counter.

Attendant: how many pieces of luggage, ma'am?
Passenger: just one.
A: put it on the conveyor belt. Thank you.
A: how much do you weigh?
P: what?
A: it's for fuel calculations.
P: you don't fill the tanks on every flight?
A: no ma'am. We couldn't charge you 95$ for a flight from Newark to St-Petersburg if we did.
P: ok, then.. 195.
(Attendant looks at lady and types 300)


Then why the fark did she bother asking in the first place.  I'm pretty sure that you could get your fuel calculations just about as accurate if you simply had a few categories.

Fat Person = 300 lb / 135 kg
Adult Male = 175 lb / 80 kg
Adult Female = 120 lb / 55 kg
Child = 55 lb / 25 kg

No need to ask a single person their weight.  More efficient, very nearly as accurate and at least 42% less assholery to go around.
 
2014-08-12 08:25:47 AM  
I guess these are the reasons why nobody is trying, by any means possible, under threat of possible death or enslavement or arrest, to leave their miserable countries and emigrate to America.

People are just dying to emigrate to Somalia or Indonesia.  Or, maybe even Greece or the Middle East - there's so much history there.
 
2014-08-12 08:26:31 AM  

LaurenAguilera: I DNRTFA, but... adding ice to fountain sodas could potentially reduce the cost per soda, on the syrup used ... but... I don't even think it would be by enough to count


I would think the energy expended creating ice would offset much of the gains.  Plus most restaurants offer free refills.
 
2014-08-12 08:26:43 AM  

RobSeace: Having 100 centimeters equal a meter, or 1,000 grams to a kilogram would be confusing.

No, the reason we stubbornly stick with the Imperial system is because we are intuitively familiar with it... We all know exactly how much a pound or gallon or foot is... We don't intuitively know that about the metric units, because we didn't grow up with them... So, we have to convert them to Imperial units first before we can really understand what they mean... If we just bit the bullet and started teaching kids to exclusively use metric units, this shiat would sort itself out in a generation, and just leave some old foggies biatching about the whippersnappers and their millimeters and centiliters...

Though, for some reason, we've been a lot more accepting of the liter as a native, intuitive measure, at least when it comes to beverages... Us booze-hounds have long accepted fifths of a gallon being replaced with 750 milliliters, and half gallons replaced with 1.75 liters... Soda has been sold in liters for ages... But, don't try to sell us gas by the liter! That's commie talk!

/You'd think we'd like the idea of gas by the liter...
//Wouldn't you love the see the prices at the pump cut by almost 1/4?!
///Sure, it would just be a psychological trick, but I think it would make people happy to see gas around $1 again...



Dimpus Burger Guy: Uhh, right. Beverage?
Farva: Gimme a litre o' cola.
Dimpus Burger Guy: What?
Farva: [Annoyed] A litre o' cola.
Dimpus Burger Guy: [into mic] Litrecola? Do we sell litrecola?
Thorny: Will you just order a large, Farva?
Farva: I don't want a large farva. I want a goddamn litre o' cola!
Dimpus Burger Guy: [to Farva] I don't know what that is!
Farva: [slowly starts shouting] Litre is French for...
[grabs burger kid by shirt]
Farva: ... give me my farkin' cola before I break VOUS farkIN' LIP!
 
2014-08-12 08:26:59 AM  

LaurenAguilera: HotWingConspiracy: Water, soda, beer, they all have ice in them. Restaurants are able to save money this way because they can fill half the glass with nothing but ice while charging for refills.

Getting away from the absurdity of claiming we take ice in our beer, I'm unclear on where people get charged for water refills, and how adding ice would save the restaurant on...water costs?

People get ice because they like ice. I can accept that it's cultural, but it has nothing to do with mitigating cost.

I DNRTFA, but... adding ice to fountain sodas could potentially reduce the cost per soda, on the syrup used ... but... I don't even think it would be by enough to count


It might matter if the US didn't have effectively unlimited free refills of drinks as a standard practice.  If your profit is big enough that it is the same price for 1 drink or 10 drinks, trying to shave corners off that with ice volume is borderline retarded.  On the other hand, when in England, they were charging me per drink and serving the drinks in glasses with less volume than an old fashioned tumbler while charging me more per glass than in the US.  If I had drank at dinner like I do in the US, it might have added up - to about 20p.  Maybe.  Though the charge-by-the-drink thing did result in me nursing Cokes in the US like a codger with incipient dementia for weeks after returning.
 
2014-08-12 08:27:17 AM  

Grandemadaca: magus007:  I have been to the US and never see these types... I was wondering if there was a place they were manufactured to export to other countries who are more civilised than the US to annoy them.

They're from the "fly-over" states. Less likely to be visited by foreign tourists.


Oh, yeah.  There are no fat people in New York or LA.  None.  They're all so beautiful.
 
2014-08-12 08:27:50 AM  

magus007: Here in Rome you can usually spot Americans they are generously proportioned people loudly shouting about how old everything is.  I have been to the US and never see these types... I was wondering if there was a place they were manufactured to export to other countries who are more civilised than the US to annoy them. It is not a bad idea, a lot of Europeans ignore America because they think it is populated by people with Hawaiian shirts who talk very loudly.


I am curious if this colored some of my interactions with Hotel workers in Rome.

I would normally have a quick chat with soemone at the front desk about what I planned on checking otu that day, and both times they were very insistant that I not walk to all the places I wanted to go. To this day I wonder if theyw ere liek that because they though americans don't liek to walk or they just thought it was a lot of walking for anybody.
 
2014-08-12 08:28:54 AM  

macross87: Burr: macross87: Texas also knows how to throw a good bonfire!

Dude, my wife (not at the time of course) was almost involved in that (she got called into work at the last minute).

Is that a good thing? Hard to tell with Fark.


It's a little bit of a sensitive subject with her. I try to to be offended by the jokes (like you said...Fark) but I still get a slight tinge of "fark off" when somebody pokes fun at it.
 
2014-08-12 08:29:09 AM  
1) In America 12 inches equals a foot, three feet equals a yard, and 1,760 yards equals a mile. Ask any American and they will tell you that this system is a lot simpler.

It is. A foot is (approx) the length of... lets see, what body part? Oh, yeah- a foot! A yard is (approx) an average walking pace. A Mile is (approx) 1000 marching paces. And so on. Real world measurements, for people who live in the real world, not a laboratory. In a laboratory, I'm sure it's very important to deal with "the length of the path travelled by light in vacuum during a time interval of 1/299,792,458 of a second", but in the real world, it's more handy to use actual items (feet, for example) to measure things, even if the outcome is only approximate. If you ask how big a room is, would you rather hear "10 feet by 20 feet", or "the length of the path travelled by light in vacuum during a time interval of 1/29,979,245.8 of a second", by "the length of the path travelled by light in vacuum during a time interval of 1/59958491.6 of a second"??

tl;dr- Real World measurements for Real World people!

2) While these places generally don't have very good food, Americans still flock to them. Paying $6.99 for endless servings of macaroni, chicken wings, and gravy is the epitome of fine dining.

Umm, no one thinks buffets are "fine dining".

3) Almost everyone in America owns their own car.

Yes. We are a BIG country. We have States bigger than some COUNTRIES. We need cars to get around.

4) However, most people will be more than happy to talk about how bad they are at math or geography.

Umm, what? I've Never seen anyone do this.

5) Americans love their ice. At bars and restaurants it is in almost every single beverage.

Many drinks taste better cold. So?

6) Only include American teams in the "Word Series."

Few other countries play baseball like we do. Who, exactly, are we supposed to include? (Okay, maybe the Japanese.)

7) While other countries are content with just having normal pets, Americans insist on treating animals like people. They give them nicknames....

OH, MY GOD! We name out pets!! We are soooo decadent!!

8) American football, a sport where men run around holding an egg-shaped object in their hands, is nothing like the game that every other country calls football.

Cute "'foot-ball', 'hand-egg'" picture. Now, find one of a soccer goalie using his hands (oops! I thought this was FOOT ball, not HAND ball!!), or a football being punted (you know, kicked. With a FOOT!)

9) If there's one sport that Americans love to ignore it's soccer. Most of them know nothing about it whatsoever.

Gee, really, we know little about a game that's played... little?? Next, you'll tell me the average American doesn't know much about, say, hurling.

10) No one under 21 can buy any type of alcohol.

Personally, I think this should be in line with other age requirements (18 to vote, etc). But at least we have some rules. And we need them, too, because drunk driving.

11) Have very few rules about guns.

We are proud of the fact that any able-bodied person can defend themselves (and Country) should they be needed to. (Oh, and there are some 20,000- Twenty Thousand!- laws, rules, and regulations concerning guns on our books. If that's "few"....)

12) School athletes are treated like national heroes.

Um, a bit of an exaggeration there (and all thru this list, but nevermind). Yes, athletes are treated well, and looked up to. They have abilities not everyone has. Can YOU make a touchdown? There is also the matter of visibility- athletes perform in front of hundreds/thousands of people, so naturally there will be talk about them. If " doctors and teachers" , "the science club or debate team" performed in a stadium with thousands watching them, they'd be talked about, too.

13) Next to baseball and apple pie, being outraged is one of the country's oldest traditions.

As opposed to... what? Rolling over and taking it?

14) Americans will often buy a book and carry it around with them in hopes that other Americans think that they are reading it.

Again, I've never seen this actually happen. I own many Hundreds of books, and have read every single one of them. Just because I (or anyone) put my book down for a moment to respond to a text doesn't mean I'm not reading the book.

15) People just want the biggest place they can find.

Not really. There is some 'size competition', as with all things, but many people just want a place that's big enough for them and their stuff.
 
2014-08-12 08:29:12 AM  

stoicjohn: I ate lunch with a guy from India yesterday and he cracked himself up by ordering an "iced tea with no ice".


back in the late 70s while my dad was in college he was friends with a Japanese exchange student and dad took him to Taco Bell where he cracked him self up because they were eating tacos with no tako.
 
2014-08-12 08:29:45 AM  

magus007: Here in Rome you can usually spot Americans they are generously proportioned people loudly shouting about how old everything is.  I have been to the US and never see these types... I was wondering if there was a place they were manufactured to export to other countries who are more civilised than the US to annoy them. It is not a bad idea, a lot of Europeans ignore America because they think it is populated by people with Hawaiian shirts who talk very loudly.


I think you may be on to something. I did the tourist thing in Italy a decade or so ago. We stayed at a tourist hotel in Rome. Almost everyone there was from North America with a few Europeans scattered in. Everyone seemed normal, then out he walks...

Actually we heard him before we saw him. Fat, sox with sandles, ugly shirt; it was as if someone dressed up as the Ugly American for a SNL skit. He was asking for a Styrofoam cup so he could take his coffee to go, but talking to someone who clearly didn't understand English. So of course he raised his voice which is like a universal translator.

Someone in our group took a picture of the guy because it was so damn funny. I think it was the first time I heard the phrase "ugly American".
 
2014-08-12 08:29:51 AM  

abhorrent1: They also eat giant spiders, worms and rats so that probably the least offensive thing they can do.


No.   Laos has some Aklo speakers.  It is FAR from the most offensive thing they can do.  Don't eat the paste.
 
2014-08-12 08:30:07 AM  

abhorrent1: The only thing that Americans love more than sports, politics, cars, and food is complaining about them. Visit any household or sports bar on a Sunday afternoon and watch as grown men scream and throw things while their favorite athlete tries to play a game.

Cause soccer fans around the world are so mature, civil and well behaved.


Or Aussie rules footballers in a bar, or cricket fans in a bar or...
 
2014-08-12 08:30:24 AM  
1. Use the English system for measurement.

Unless you are buying hard drugs or ammo.

2. Eat giant meals.

Unless you aren't at the Olive Garden or you aren't still sitting in your car.

3. Own lots of cars

Lichtenstein and Monaco have more cars per 1,000 people than the U.S. And those are countries I can completely walk across in an afternoon.

4. Brag about being dumb

This blog was written by an American


OK, I'm tired of doing this already.  Somebody else have a go.
 
2014-08-12 08:32:14 AM  

OgreMagi: When I was in a Budapest McDonalds (not my choice, my fiancé's daughter wanted to go), they looked at me like I was insane when I asked for ice in my Coke.


That must have happened a long ago. If you don't ask otherwise you get ice in your Coke in the summer, no ice in the winter, and they always ask you if you want ice in the spring/autumn. I think it's a standard direction for them because whenever I go to MCD or BK this is what happens to me.

Also, you don't need to ask anything to look insane.
 
2014-08-12 08:33:27 AM  

doublesecretprobation: [warosu.org image 593x338]


Done in three.
 
2014-08-12 08:34:47 AM  

fredklein: If you ask how big a room is, would you rather hear "10 feet by 20 feet", or "the length of the path travelled by light in vacuum during a time interval of 1/29,979,245.8 of a second", by "the length of the path travelled by light in vacuum during a time interval of 1/59958491.6 of a second"??


I think this may be a bit of a false choice.
 
2014-08-12 08:37:15 AM  

fireclown: abhorrent1: They also eat giant spiders, worms and rats so that probably the least offensive thing they can do.

No.   Laos has some Aklo speakers.  It is FAR from the most offensive thing they can do.  Don't eat the paste.


What's in the paste?
 
2014-08-12 08:38:58 AM  

LaurenAguilera: I DNRTFA, but... adding ice to fountain sodas could potentially reduce the cost per soda, on the syrup used ... but... I don't even think it would be by enough to count


I know for mcdonalds it is a speed thing.

Filling up an empty cup with just soda takes longer than jamming it full of ice and then filling it up.


/autometed fillers may be changing that.
 
2014-08-12 08:39:58 AM  

OgreMagi: When I was in a Budapest McDonalds (not my choice, my fiancé's daughter wanted to go), they looked at me like I was insane when I asked for ice in my Coke.


I stayed in Australia for six months or so a while back.  For some reason everywhere I went people thought I was Canadian. (Beats me, its faded but I still have a Texas accent.)  But then there was the ice.... It became a running joke with the friends I made there. They'd insist that waiters bring me a glass of nothing but ice to accompany my iced drink.  Anyway, the true moment of ignominy came when I was in a "Tex-Mex" restaurant and ordered a margarita.  I ask for it on the rocks. This turns into an Abbott and Costello routine but eventually the waiter understands I want ice in my margarita. So he comes back with a frozen margarita filled with chunks of ice.
 
2014-08-12 08:41:20 AM  

magus007: Here in Rome you can usually spot Americans they are generously proportioned people loudly shouting about how old everything is.  I have been to the US and never see these types... I was wondering if there was a place they were manufactured to export to other countries who are more civilised than the US to annoy them. It is not a bad idea, a lot of Europeans ignore America because they think it is populated by people with Hawaiian shirts who talk very loudly.


Florida?
 
2014-08-12 08:42:07 AM  

MooseBayou: Grandemadaca: magus007:  I have been to the US and never see these types... I was wondering if there was a place they were manufactured to export to other countries who are more civilised than the US to annoy them.

They're from the "fly-over" states. Less likely to be visited by foreign tourists.

Oh, yeah.  There are no fat people in New York or LA.  None.  They're all so beautiful.


And they're also open-minded and not bigoted at all.
 
2014-08-12 08:42:09 AM  
12. Treat school athletes like heroes.

We don't do this because they're school athletes.  We do this because we're way too big and populated to expect everyone to devote their sports fandom to one league of teams.  There are millions and millions of Americans who live farther away from a pro team than 99.9% of Europeans are from a first division team.
 
2014-08-12 08:43:27 AM  

cameroncrazy1984: Yanks_RSJ: Yeah our sports fans are out of control. Maybe we need a few massive stadium crushings mixed with a dash of vile racism to be sophisticated like our European superiors.

How about a take that's newer than 1985?


To be fair, Hillsborough happened in 89.

/pedant
 
2014-08-12 08:43:32 AM  

HotWingConspiracy: fredklein: If you ask how big a room is, would you rather hear "10 feet by 20 feet", or "the length of the path travelled by light in vacuum during a time interval of 1/29,979,245.8 of a second", by "the length of the path travelled by light in vacuum during a time interval of 1/59958491.6 of a second"??

I think this may be a bit of a false choice.


Agree.

It is worth noting though, that the Japanese refer to room/apartment size by how many tatani mats it fits.  This would be a comparison like "10 x 20 ft room" versus "13 mat apartment".

And that looking at London flat listings gets me no size information at all.  So for that comparison it would be "10 x 20 ft room" versus "room".
 
Displayed 50 of 331 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report