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(Antimusic)   Move over Tony Robbins. Get out of the way Zig Ziglar. There's a new motivational speaker in town, and his name is.... Bret Michaels?   (antimusic.com) divider line 30
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2306 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2014 at 3:58 PM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



30 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-11 01:26:03 PM  
Well, I guess that's something to believe in.
 
2014-08-11 01:27:49 PM  
I'm guessing his advice involves a lot of headscarves to conceal male pattern baldness.
 
2014-08-11 02:38:53 PM  
I imagine anyone who ain't looking for nothing but a good time would be quite a positive speaker.
 
2014-08-11 04:00:10 PM  
Do his words not come out right?
 
2014-08-11 04:00:17 PM  
Look what the cat dragged in.
 
2014-08-11 04:02:29 PM  

dittybopper: Well, I guess that's something to believe in.


foo monkey: Do his words not come out right?


Gary-L: Look what the cat dragged in.


Someone get the lights on the way out
 
2014-08-11 04:03:15 PM  
He promised to live fast and die young.  I think we should still hold him to that.
 
2014-08-11 04:03:33 PM  
He became a motivational speaker because he's broke?

That's showing initiative
 
2014-08-11 04:03:41 PM  
He could raise a toast to all of us -- who are breaking our backs every day.
 
2014-08-11 04:07:38 PM  
Why is there nothing more to say after an unskinny bop? Me am confused by this.
 
2014-08-11 04:07:55 PM  
farm5.static.flickr.com

He was kinda hot in the 80s
 
2014-08-11 04:17:52 PM  
"And remember, people, when it looks like you're starting to do well in your career, in your love life...whatever the case...to be on your guard. Because every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn. And you've gotta cry tough when those down-times happen. You may want some...need some...but like a fallen angel, you've got to to look that problem in the face and say 'Let me go to the show!' Because you're nobody's fool, and fate is a fickle mistress even if she's only seventeen. You might cry out somebody save me, but in the still of the night the only person listening is you. But heaven isn't too far away, I'm here to tell you! We're closer to it every day! Thanks and goodnight Des Moines...I won't forget you!"
 
2014-08-11 04:20:50 PM  

Torchsong: "And remember, people, when it looks like you're starting to do well in your career, in your love life...whatever the case...to be on your guard. Because every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn. And you've gotta cry tough when those down-times happen. You may want some...need some...but like a fallen angel, you've got to to look that problem in the face and say 'Let me go to the show!' Because you're nobody's fool, and fate is a fickle mistress even if she's only seventeen. You might cry out somebody save me, but in the still of the night the only person listening is you. But heaven isn't too far away, I'm here to tell you! We're closer to it every day! Thanks and goodnight Des Moines...I won't forget you!"


Now we gotta fly to the angels.
 
2014-08-11 04:24:17 PM  

DMZ DEATH: Torchsong: "And remember, people, when it looks like you're starting to do well in your career, in your love life...whatever the case...to be on your guard. Because every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn. And you've gotta cry tough when those down-times happen. You may want some...need some...but like a fallen angel, you've got to to look that problem in the face and say 'Let me go to the show!' Because you're nobody's fool, and fate is a fickle mistress even if she's only seventeen. You might cry out somebody save me, but in the still of the night the only person listening is you. But heaven isn't too far away, I'm here to tell you! We're closer to it every day! Thanks and goodnight Des Moines...I won't forget you!"

Now we gotta fly to the angels.


Slaughter reference. Your post is invalid.
 
2014-08-11 04:26:44 PM  
It was in response to that masterpiece that even included a Winger reference.
 
2014-08-11 04:28:20 PM  
He is pulling more top notch tail than I am so he might have some sound advice.
 
2014-08-11 04:29:07 PM  
He got to fark Pamela Anderson when she was young, so maybe he's got advice with some value.


/"be a rock star"
//"don't not be one"
 
2014-08-11 04:29:07 PM  

uber humper: He became a motivational speaker because he's broke?

That's showing initiative


He's actually probably the only one from the band that isn't broke.

4NTLRZ: DMZ DEATH: Torchsong: "And remember, people, when it looks like you're starting to do well in your career, in your love life...whatever the case...to be on your guard. Because every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn. And you've gotta cry tough when those down-times happen. You may want some...need some...but like a fallen angel, you've got to to look that problem in the face and say 'Let me go to the show!' Because you're nobody's fool, and fate is a fickle mistress even if she's only seventeen. You might cry out somebody save me, but in the still of the night the only person listening is you. But heaven isn't too far away, I'm here to tell you! We're closer to it every day! Thanks and goodnight Des Moines...I won't forget you!"

Now we gotta fly to the angels.

Slaughter reference. Your post is invalid.


And Cinderella
 
2014-08-11 04:33:21 PM  

abhorrent1: uber humper: He became a motivational speaker because he's broke?

That's showing initiative

He's actually probably the only one from the band that isn't broke. 4NTLRZ: DMZ DEATH: Torchsong: "And remember, people, when it looks like you're starting to do well in your career, in your love life...whatever the case...to be on your guard. Because every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn. And you've gotta cry tough when those down-times happen. You may want some...need some...but like a fallen angel, you've got to to look that problem in the face and say 'Let me go to the show!' Because you're nobody's fool, and fate is a fickle mistress even if she's only seventeen. You might cry out somebody save me, but in the still of the night the only person listening is you. But heaven isn't too far away, I'm here to tell you! We're closer to it every day! Thanks and goodnight Des Moines...I won't forget you!"

Now we gotta fly to the angels.

Slaughter reference. Your post is invalid.

And Cinderella


and Whitesnake
 
2014-08-11 04:34:36 PM  
A few months ago I found a bunch of his Bret Michaels branded cat toys on super- closeout at PetSmart, so I snatched them up and sent them to friends as a joke. I guess he had to find something to do with all those leftover feathers from his 80s outfits?
 
2014-08-11 04:36:02 PM  
fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net
 
2014-08-11 04:47:13 PM  

HighZoolander: abhorrent1: uber humper: He became a motivational speaker because he's broke?

That's showing initiative

He's actually probably the only one from the band that isn't broke. 4NTLRZ: DMZ DEATH: Torchsong: "And remember, people, when it looks like you're starting to do well in your career, in your love life...whatever the case...to be on your guard. Because every rose has its thorn, just like every night has its dawn. And you've gotta cry tough when those down-times happen. You may want some...need some...but like a fallen angel, you've got to to look that problem in the face and say 'Let me go to the show!' Because you're nobody's fool, and fate is a fickle mistress even if she's only seventeen. You might cry out somebody save me, but in the still of the night the only person listening is you. But heaven isn't too far away, I'm here to tell you! We're closer to it every day! Thanks and goodnight Des Moines...I won't forget you!"

Now we gotta fly to the angels.

Slaughter reference. Your post is invalid.

And Cinderella

and Whitesnake


and Warrant
 
2014-08-11 04:56:08 PM  
Twas well put together.
 
2014-08-11 04:58:12 PM  

uber humper: [farm5.static.flickr.com image 240x227]

He was kinda hot in the 80s


spit my Pepsi
 
2014-08-11 05:00:05 PM  

gerbilpox: He got to fark Pamela Anderson when she was young, so maybe he's got advice with some value. Hep C.


FTFY
 
2014-08-11 05:21:58 PM  
It turns out he has a line of Bret Michaels cat toys.  They were in the bargain bin at the local pet store a couple of weeks ago, so I got one.  A plastic stick with five interchangeable feather/fringe/bells/chain toys that look like they're straight outta some 1980's hairstyle.

So far my cat has not been motivated by the toys.

img.fark.net
 
2014-08-11 05:23:11 PM  
juicemakesugar.files.wordpress.com
i1.wp.com
www.wwe.com
Oh mah gawd! Bret Michaels is motivating people left and right!
 
2014-08-11 05:47:21 PM  

reaperducer: So far my cats has are not been motivated by the toys anything.

 
2014-08-11 07:23:54 PM  
I hope his speaking doesn't involve talking dirty to me in hopes of some unskinny bop because I ain't into other dudes.
 
2014-08-11 08:44:33 PM  
It shouldn't be hard to displace Zig Zigler as a top motivational speaker since he's dead.
 
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