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(Slate)   "The woman who angrily dresses down a man for daring to open the door for her is the Bigfoot of feminism." Here's how to handle her   (slate.com) divider line 375
    More: Interesting, sexisms  
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15026 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2014 at 1:16 PM (9 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-11 08:31:45 AM  
You know, I've habitually held doors open for women since I was a child.  I'll even speed up in order to do it if they are ahead of me.  Just how I was raised.  So I've got something like 35 years of experience in this area.

I've never had any woman say anything other than "Thank you".

It could very well be that there are women out there that will snap at you for doing so, but I've yet to run across one, so they must be pretty rare.
 
2014-08-11 08:35:42 AM  
I open doors for men too; these days, it's just courtesy or all of us getting along, if you want.
 
2014-08-11 08:45:29 AM  
I enjoy having this done.
 
2014-08-11 08:58:49 AM  
You can usually tell you're first because the door is closed and there are no people between you and the door.

Neither Simmons nor the majority of the Fox News audience are quick enough on their feet to figure that out when it's go time.
 
2014-08-11 09:01:17 AM  
Don't tip your hat, bow, or call her "m'lady."

How are they supposed to know how nice I am?
 
2014-08-11 09:19:24 AM  
So here's how you know if you got yourself a good woman. You pull up right where she lives, right? Before you get outta the car, you lock both doors. Then, get outta the car, you walk over to her. You bring her over to the car. Dig out the key, put it in the lock and open the door for her. Then you let her get in. Then you close the door. Then you walk around the back of the car and look through the rear window. If she reaches over and lifts up that button so that you can get in: dump her

If she reaches over and lifts up that button so that you can get in, that means she thinks you are helpless. Does it seem to her like you can't open the door on your own? She just saw you open the door for her. It's not like you'd forget how to do it while you are walking around the car. Unless you were stupid. By opening the door lock for you, she's saying that you are both helpless and stupid. That farking whore. Here you are trying to take her on a nice date, you dress up, make reservations at a nice place and here you haven't even pulled out of her driveway and she's already putting you down. You oughta pull that broad out of the car by the hair and smack her with the back of your hand to teach her a lesson. Who's stupid and helpless now, biatch!  Who's stupid and helpless now! Stop trying to open the door for me or so help me...
 
2014-08-11 09:40:06 AM  
Still not answered: do I give up my bus or subway seat for a lady? When I moved to Boston after being raised in the deep South, I was offering my seat for any standing female. I got enough funny looks that I learned to offer only to the elderly and obviously pregnant.
 
2014-08-11 09:42:03 AM  

dittybopper: You know, I've habitually held doors open for women since I was a child.  I'll even speed up in order to do it if they are ahead of me.  Just how I was raised.  So I've got something like 35 years of experience in this area.

I've never had any woman say anything other than "Thank you".

It could very well be that there are women out there that will snap at you for doing so, but I've yet to run across one, so they must be pretty rare.


I had something like this happen to me.

I was getting on a bus at LaGuardia, and was standing next to a woman in a way that it was uncertain who was ahead of whom.

When I deferred and said, "After you", I got loudly rebuked: "I don't THINK so!"

Now I don't know her motivation was hyperactive feminism. But her offense at my suggestion was unmistakable. It was as if she thought I asked her to come home with me.

Hm. Maybe she misunderstood me.
 
2014-08-11 09:43:41 AM  
I hold the door for whoever's behind me.
 
2014-08-11 09:52:07 AM  

Shakespeare's Monkey: I open doors for men too; these days, it's just courtesy or all of us getting along, if you want.


My policy is to only hold the door if 1) It's for elderly folks or people with mobility issues, 2) my friends and family, 3) my neighbors and people who work in the same building or 4) if it doesn't really take any particular effort on my part to open the door for them.

I think people resent people who make a big production out of opening the door for someone. Or, one of those people who holds the door for someone else even though they are 15 feet away, forcing them to walk or run to the door.
 
2014-08-11 09:52:53 AM  
I go through the door and hold it shut from the other side.
 
2014-08-11 09:53:15 AM  
I open the door for anyone, male or female.  It's just basic manners, I think.  I mean, I don't want to be seen as the asshole who let the door shut in someone's face.
 
2014-08-11 10:00:19 AM  
Courtesy is now effrontery

/and don't make eye contact
 
2014-08-11 10:03:13 AM  
I throw sand in the eyes of anyone I pass by and make them walk into doors.
 
2014-08-11 10:11:07 AM  

dittybopper: You know, I've habitually held doors open for women since I was a child.  I'll even speed up in order to do it if they are ahead of me.  Just how I was raised.  So I've got something like 35 years of experience in this area.

I've never had any woman say anything other than "Thank you".

It could very well be that there are women out there that will snap at you for doing so, but I've yet to run across one, so they must be pretty rare.


Same here.  I always get a smile, at a minimum.
 
2014-08-11 10:41:17 AM  
"Bigfoot of feminism?"

Not only do I know how to handle her, I'm pretty sure I dated her.
 
2014-08-11 11:03:03 AM  
RexTalionis:
I think people resent people who make a big production out of opening the door for someone. Or, one of those people who holds the door for someone else even though they are 15 feet away, forcing them to walk or run to the door.

Yup. If they do this I choose a different door. I'd say I'm a pioneer, but my wife calls me an asshole.
 
2014-08-11 11:34:14 AM  
Bigfoot of feminism?

Here's a blurry photo

www.democracynow.org
 
2014-08-11 11:39:07 AM  
Gene Simmons is the poster boy for the MRA crowd.
 
2014-08-11 11:41:59 AM  

James!: Gene Simmons is the poster boy for the MRA crowd.


Which is odd, because he now looks like someone's grandmother.
 
2014-08-11 11:43:50 AM  

gilgigamesh: dittybopper: You know, I've habitually held doors open for women since I was a child.  I'll even speed up in order to do it if they are ahead of me.  Just how I was raised.  So I've got something like 35 years of experience in this area.

I've never had any woman say anything other than "Thank you".

It could very well be that there are women out there that will snap at you for doing so, but I've yet to run across one, so they must be pretty rare.

I had something like this happen to me.

I was getting on a bus at LaGuardia, and was standing next to a woman in a way that it was uncertain who was ahead of whom.

When I deferred and said, "After you", I got loudly rebuked: "I don't THINK so!"

Now I don't know her motivation was hyperactive feminism. But her offense at my suggestion was unmistakable. It was as if she thought I asked her to come home with me.

Hm. Maybe she misunderstood me.



I am in my mid-40's and I'm female. I have held open doors and had them held open for me. I've never gotten any sort of negative response nor given one.
 
2014-08-11 11:53:32 AM  

dittybopper: I've never had any woman say anything other than "Thank you".

It could very well be that there are women out there that will snap at you for doing so, but I've yet to run across one, so they must be pretty rare.


I concur.  The "bigfoot" analogy is apt... sure everyone's heard of it and definitely knows someone has seen it but it isn't like it is ubiquitous.

RexTalionis: My policy is to only hold the door if 1) It's for elderly folks or people with mobility issues, 2) my friends and family, 3) my neighbors and people who work in the same building or 4) if it doesn't really take any particular effort on my part to open the door for them.

I think people resent people who make a big production out of opening the door for someone. Or, one of those people who holds the door for someone else even though they are 15 feet away, forcing them to walk or run to the door.


That's good policy.  Don't make a show of it, because then you're just showing off and nobody likes that.

Doktor_Zhivago: Don't tip your hat, bow, or call her "m'lady."


We all know what kind of hat he's referring to, don't we?
 
2014-08-11 11:58:07 AM  
I've experienced this phenomenon perhaps twice in my entire life - once in college when the female student whom I opened the door for chewed me out about being able to open the door just fine on her own. I apologized and just told her she was in the South (she was clearly from somewhere in the northeast), and that we were raised to open doors for ladies, period, and she might want to prepare herself for that happening often and that none of us mean offense by it. It's a simple courtesy, nothing more.
 
2014-08-11 12:06:34 PM  

kayla-mcdonald.com

 
2014-08-11 12:17:27 PM  
I run about twenty feet as soon as I get through the door, and pretend I was always that far ahead when the next person comes in. It's so much less embarrassing.
 
2014-08-11 12:18:37 PM  
They're the Bigfoot of feminism because they don't exist outside of elderly clown-rockers imaginations.

I have held doors for men, women, children, cats, dogs, infants, motorcycles, well you get the point and have yet to have anyone flip out on me.  Granted if Gene Simmons held the door for me I might be afraid that he would somehow try to market the gesture.
 
2014-08-11 12:20:10 PM  

brap: They're the Bigfoot of feminism because they don't exist outside of elderly clown-rockers imaginations.

I have held doors for men, women, children, cats, dogs, infants, motorcycles, well you get the point and have yet to have anyone flip out on me.  Granted if Gene Simmons held the door for me I might be afraid that he would somehow try to market the gesture.


Plus, he would probably try to charge you a door holding fee.
 
2014-08-11 12:23:45 PM  

FirstNationalBastard: Plus, he would probably try to charge you a door holding fee.


If he held it with his ridiculous tongue I might toss a quarter in the bucket.
 
2014-08-11 12:23:56 PM  
The last time I recall that some fembot was annoyed at this, I wasn't actually opening the door for her. There was another woman behind her in a wheelchair and I stopped and opened the door for the wheelchair bound woman.

The fembot stopped and looked at me in the eye, outraged that I would open a door for her but then coming behind her, the wheelchair bound woman said "Excuse me."

After she went through the door, I walked through and the fembot was possibly humbled. (I don't know if they actually have emotions, it's hard to tell).
 
2014-08-11 12:25:23 PM  

brap: They're the Bigfoot of feminism because they don't exist outside of elderly clown-rockers imaginations.

I have held doors for men, women, children, cats, dogs, infants, motorcycles, well you get the point and have yet to have anyone flip out on me.  Granted if Gene Simmons held the door for me I might be afraid that he would somehow try to market the gesture.


The girl that chewed me out in college was pretty hairy because this was the beginning of the whole grunge thing, and wouldn't you know it, but I was in college during the height of the AIDS scare AND simultaneously when girls were ditching things like make-up and shaving and wearing baggy clothes. Anyway, she was pretty unkempt, but I think I'd stop short of calling her a Sasquatch.
 
2014-08-11 12:28:24 PM  

Nabb1: brap: They're the Bigfoot of feminism because they don't exist outside of elderly clown-rockers imaginations.

I have held doors for men, women, children, cats, dogs, infants, motorcycles, well you get the point and have yet to have anyone flip out on me.  Granted if Gene Simmons held the door for me I might be afraid that he would somehow try to market the gesture.

The girl that chewed me out in college was pretty hairy because this was the beginning of the whole grunge thing, and wouldn't you know it, but I was in college during the height of the AIDS scare AND simultaneously when girls were ditching things like make-up and shaving and wearing baggy clothes. Anyway, she was pretty unkempt, but I think I'd stop short of calling her a Sasquatch.



Sasquette?
 
2014-08-11 12:31:55 PM  
Like big foot all women who do this are actually some guy in a suit.
 
2014-08-11 12:35:07 PM  
I walk at a normal pace and give a token push to the door so it stay open a moment longer and let the other person, irrespective of gender, has the option to walk through or hold for the next human.  Or just use the nearby door less-traveled by, and that has made all the difference.
 
2014-08-11 12:42:32 PM  
In Massachusetts everybody holds the door for everybody. It can get annoying. My general rule is if I were to let the door close and somebody would reach the door before it was fully closed, I'll hold it open.

And it's not always an "after you" thing, sometimes you just reach back and keep the door open until somebody gets to it. Then they either walk through or reach for the door. When they grab the door you are relieved of duty, so to speak.
 
2014-08-11 01:01:04 PM  

James!: Like big foot all women who do this are actually some guy in a suit.


I don't care who you are that's funny right there.
 
2014-08-11 01:02:53 PM  
Nabb1: brap: They're the Bigfoot of feminism because they don't exist outside of elderly clown-rockers imaginations.

I have held doors for men, women, children, cats, dogs, infants, motorcycles, well you get the point and have yet to have anyone flip out on me.  Granted if Gene Simmons held the door for me I might be afraid that he would somehow try to market the gesture.

The girl that chewed me out in college was pretty hairy because this was the beginning of the whole grunge thing, and wouldn't you know it, but I was in college during the height of the AIDS scare AND simultaneously when girls were ditching things like make-up and shaving and wearing baggy clothes. Anyway, she was pretty unkempt, but I think I'd stop short of calling her a Sasquatch if I thought somebody would hear me..

/ftfm
 
2014-08-11 01:08:18 PM  

dittybopper: James!: Like big foot all women who do this are actually some guy in a suit.

I don't care who you are that's funny right there.


literatehousewife.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-11 01:16:57 PM  
I'm not holding the door for you, I'm just pausing to leave the remainder of this fart outside. You'd best hurry by now. uh huh, good day to you too.
 
2014-08-11 01:17:48 PM  
d3dsacqprgcsqh.cloudfront.net
 
2014-08-11 01:19:19 PM  
I open doors/hold open doors for all sorts of people. It's called being nice.
 
2014-08-11 01:19:55 PM  

Chris Ween: [kayla-mcdonald.com image 640x960]


Goddammit, that explains everything. I'm half Canadian, so I hold the door open at "awkward" for everyone.
 
2014-08-11 01:20:09 PM  
I am the wendigo of feminism.  True story.
 
2014-08-11 01:20:39 PM  
It's a white man's burden.
 
2014-08-11 01:20:49 PM  

Shakespeare's Monkey: I open doors for men too; these days, it's just courtesy or all of us getting along, if you want.


This.  I can't understand why someone would get their panties in a twist over common courtesy.  Whoever's first holds the door.  Doesn't matter if you have girl parts or boy parts.
 
2014-08-11 01:20:57 PM  
Is this seriously not understood in 2014?  I thought we had pretty much gotten past all of this nonsense.
 
2014-08-11 01:21:34 PM  

Lady Beryl Ersatz-Wendigo: I am the wendigo of feminism.  True story.


You leave behind victims screaming about flaming feet of fire?
 
2014-08-11 01:21:53 PM  
Kick her in the crotch, make the satanic horn symbol with one hand, and yell "Kiss rules!"?
 
2014-08-11 01:23:13 PM  
So do the women on Fark prefer to be called a Farkette, or Fun Bags?
 
2014-08-11 01:23:32 PM  
I like to rush to the door 1st, fart, then watch the faces as they walk through the cloud.
 
2014-08-11 01:23:50 PM  
Damn, contemporary American men sure are some insecure idiots.
 
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