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(Natural News)   I know you're worried about ebola and what it could do to you and your family. Luckily for you, homeopathy is on the case   ( blogs.naturalnews.com) divider line
    More: Sick, Ebola, homeopathies, flu epidemic, muscle pain, shortness of breath, Dr. J  
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4676 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2014 at 3:17 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-11 11:24:41 AM  
Yay!  Natural News.  The WND of health news!

I dare you to poke around their website.  DARE!

Muhahahaha (<- evil laugh)
 
2014-08-11 11:38:49 AM  
You guys are a bunch of homeophobes.
 
2014-08-11 12:02:36 PM  
Gonna take a lot of bee pollen and acai berries to help a guy shiatting out his liquified pancreas.
 
2014-08-11 12:27:52 PM  
Oh good god.
 
2014-08-11 12:35:29 PM  
Oh holy sh*t!
I'm one of those alternative healing junkies and even I think this is irresponsible. I've seen other hippie types calling him out for this already.
 
2014-08-11 02:37:45 PM  
The article is down. We're seriously through the looking glass: someone managed to write something that even Natural News had to admit was irresponsible and flat-out factually incorrect on every level.  Were they just trolling the site, or serious?
 
2014-08-11 03:20:57 PM  
I have a friend who thinks essential oils can cure anything and spends $40 for 10ml bottled of the shiat.

Whatever..
 
2014-08-11 03:21:01 PM  
Natural News was made aware of a blog post that seemed to recommend a highly questionable method related to Ebola prevention. The blog post has been removed pending further investigation, and the blogger is under review. Natural News does not condone any member of the public attempting to interact with Ebola, a very hazardous biological threat.

Dammit. I didn't even get a chance to read about homeopathy.

As I understand homeopathy involves reducing something into smaller and smaller amounts until it disappears. Like your money.
 
2014-08-11 03:21:09 PM  
From the comments:

Take... "An Ebola sample: some spit or other disease product, such as blood, from a person infected with Ebola".

Seriously?  That's what this idiot was recommending?  Holy shiat.
 
2014-08-11 03:21:27 PM  
Ebola is very hard to catch, and spreads in Africa only because they hand-wash corpses while taking zero antiseptic precautions.

/Much more concerned about lightning.
 
2014-08-11 03:22:22 PM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: Natural News was made aware of a blog post that seemed to recommend a highly questionable method related to Ebola prevention. The blog post has been removed pending further investigation, and the blogger is under review. Natural News does not condone any member of the public attempting to interact with Ebola, a very hazardous biological threat.

Dammit. I didn't even get a chance to read about homeopathy.

As I understand homeopathy involves reducing something into smaller and smaller amounts until it disappears. Like your money.


img.fark.net
 
2014-08-11 03:22:31 PM  
Like all things related to homeopathy that sound too good to be true, I'm going to take this with three ten thousandths of a grain of salt.
 
2014-08-11 03:22:50 PM  
Only cowards, morons and West Africans are worried about ebola
 
2014-08-11 03:23:27 PM  
Well that blog post didn't last long.  It's under review.
 
2014-08-11 03:24:08 PM  
We really shouldn't discourage homeopathy adherents from handling ebola samples.
 
2014-08-11 03:24:32 PM  
Chew cola nuts.
 
2014-08-11 03:24:48 PM  
I read it before it was pulled....It said that for you to develop a complete immunity to Ebola you have to find someone with Ebola and then have them stand on their head, naked and then you stand on one foot and then luck their butthole while doing the armpit fart thing, while you have a can of open sardines jammed in your ass,  twice a day, for a month and then you'd be cured for life.
 
2014-08-11 03:25:50 PM  
Oh great, more natural medicine nutballs. I had a friend post from the hospital recently about a near-fatal liver infection (that was being successfully treated by Big Pharma), and the Weeners was from one of his coworkers, a self-proclaimed "healer". Her comment was "Less chemicals, more natural elements - come see me and we will treat this."

He's still alive, needless to say he didn't take her up on the offer.
 
2014-08-11 03:26:17 PM  

styckx: I have a friend who thinks essential oils can cure anything and spends $40 for 10ml bottled of the shiat.

Whatever..


Hash oil?
 
2014-08-11 03:27:01 PM  
Wow... they actually admitted that homeopathy might not work?

But then, I've little sympathy for anyone who believes that sugar pills can have any effect, I just pity them.

The people who sell homeopathy, however, should be prosecuted without mercy, as they're remorseless scam artists who prey on the ignorant and desperate.
 
2014-08-11 03:27:15 PM  
It's almost like the Internet is full of uninformed and/or malicious attention whores.
 
2014-08-11 03:27:20 PM  
The only thing I know about homeopathy is that it should be be illegal to sell homeopathic remedies in the same aisle as real medicine. I hate when I go looking for a cold medicine and see a box and think "huh, that's new, wonder what it's..." and then BAM, homeopathic bulshiat. Right next to the farking Alka Seltzer.

Farking farkity fark fark fark.

/ Great, now I need a dilution of farks
 
2014-08-11 03:27:23 PM  

Jiro Dreams Of McRibs: As I understand homeopathy involves reducing something into smaller and smaller amounts until it disappears. Like your money.


That's exactly it.
 
2014-08-11 03:27:47 PM  

ChipNASA: I read it before it was pulled....It said that for you to develop a complete immunity to Ebola you have to find someone with Ebola and then have them stand on their head, naked and then you stand on one foot and then luck their butthole while doing the armpit fart thing, while you have a can of open sardines jammed in your ass,  twice a day, for a month and then you'd be cured for life.


I'm going to need a second opinion from PocketNinja before making any decisions on this
 
2014-08-11 03:27:53 PM  
JENNY APPROVED!!!

acandidworld.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-11 03:27:59 PM  
Does it involve putting things up your butt?
 
2014-08-11 03:28:31 PM  

ChipNASA: I read it before it was pulled....It said that for you to develop a complete immunity to Ebola you have to find someone with Ebola and then have them stand on their head, naked and then you stand on one foot and then luck their butthole while doing the armpit fart thing, while you have a can of open sardines jammed in your ass,  twice a day, for a month and then you'd be cured for life.



That's also called a TSA screening.
 
2014-08-11 03:28:32 PM  

styckx: I have a friend who thinks essential oils can cure anything and spends $40 for 10ml bottled of the shiat.

Whatever..


I have to try really hard not to ask my girlfriend if they make those in "snake"
 
2014-08-11 03:30:01 PM  

rustypouch: But then, I've little sympathy for anyone who believes that sugar pills can have any effect, I just pity them.


Well, I mean, sugar pills *CAN* have an effect. The Placebo effect is well doccumented (and culturally based, interestingly. In western cultures, a placebo shot  has a more noticeable effect than a placebo pill, whereas placebo 'herbal medicines' may work better in more less developed/tribal healer/etc type situations).

But yes homeopathy is bullshiat and basically just water.
 
2014-08-11 03:30:51 PM  
I went out and looked up the story that this one is talking about.  It involved using infected body fluids and rum, brandy, or whiskey.

One that made the rounds on FB over the weekend involved rectal suppositories of "essential oils and lemon juice."

Here's a good one:   http://essentialsurvival.org/essential-oils-more-to-combat-ebola-viru s /
 
2014-08-11 03:30:55 PM  
From another site which managed to grab the text:

You may think the following procedure-developed by the English homeopath Peter Chappell-is a crazy thing to do. But, if you or a loved one is sick with Ebola with the prospect of having one week to live, and no other help is available, you might consider it. Besides, Einstein said that if an idea didn't seem crazy, it wasn't worth anything.

This procedure is based on a form of therapy related to homeopathy called isopathy (curing a disease with the virulent agent of the same disease), which has proven successful for many ailments. You could check this out.

A curious and interesting use of isopathy is that, in some regions of Brazil, if a child is bitten by a snake, the mother will immediately hunt the snake down, cut its head off and apply the stump to the bite wound to cure the child.

How to Make Your Own Ebola Remedy

What you need:
1. A face mask and gloves
2. Two bottles (50 ml up to 500 ml glass or plastic bottles) with caps
3. Clean water (mineral or tap water)
4. An Ebola sample: some spit or other disease product, such as blood, from a person infected with Ebola, or who is suspected sick with it. Any small quantity will do, even a pinhead.
5. An alcoholic liquid, such as whisky, brandy, rum, etc.
6. Half an hour of your time.

Procedure:
1. Fill the bottle with water, leaving about 20% space at the top.
2. Place the Ebola sample in the water in the bottle.
3. Close the top of the bottle with the cap.
4. Hold the bottle and strike it hard against a solid surface, such as a large book, 40 times.
5. Pour out the contents of the bottle.
6. Refill the bottle with water (the fluid remaining on the inside surface of the bottle will serve as the next Ebola sample).
7. Repeat steps 3 to 6 a total of 30 times.

Storage:
1. Pour the bottle solution into another bottle-your stock bottle.
2. Add 10% by volume of the alcoholic liquid (whisky, brandy, etc.) as a preservative.
3. Store in a place away from sunlight and electronic equipment.

Using this stock bottle, you can supply the Ebola remedy to as many people you want. With one drop from the stock bottle as an Ebola sample you can produce another stock bottle to give to someone else. Instead of the original Ebola sample you used above to make the original stock bottle, you use a drop from the first stock bottle. This process can be carried out ad infinitum, supplying a whole city, etc., if needed.

Taking Your Home-Made Ebola Remedy

For prevention:
1. Place a teaspoonful of your Ebola remedy from the stock bottle into a cup filled with water.
2. Stir the water five times with a disposable spoon or stick.
3. Take a sip from the cup.
4. During the epidemic, take a sip once or twice a day, stirring five times before taking the sip.
5. Refill the cup as needed after striking the stock bottle against a hard surface five times.

If you are sick with Ebola:
1. Place a teaspoonful of the Ebola remedy from your stock bottle into a cup filled with water.
2. Stir the water five times with a disposable spoon or stick.
3. Take a sip every 15 minutes, stirring five times each time until you notice improvement, then stop.
4. On improving, you can ease off and take the remedy every hour or so, again stirring five times before taking the remedy each time.
5. Refill the cup as needed after striking the stock bottle against a hard surface five times.

Post treatment
Other problems may appear some time after being afflicted with Ebola. Among these are: testicle inflammation, joint pains, muscle pains, skin peeling, hair loss, light sensitivity, eye inflammation, even blindness.

Again, the best thing to do is find a homeopathic professional to treat you. Otherwise, the homeopathic remedy Mercurius Solubilis 200C can be useful for inflammations. You could take one pill a day for a few days and then stop.

For exhaustion you could take the remedy Carbo Vegetabilis 200C once. Arnica 200C once a day for some days will also be useful. Leave some hours between taking different homeopathic remedies.

Phosphorus 200C taken once a day for a few days can be useful for eye problems.
 
2014-08-11 03:31:01 PM  
I used to hope that fatal stupidity was a self-correcting problem.  Now I am sad.
 
2014-08-11 03:31:08 PM  

skozlaw: The only thing I know about homeopathy is that it should be be illegal to sell homeopathic remedies in the same aisle as real medicine. I hate when I go looking for a cold medicine and see a box and think "huh, that's new, wonder what it's..." and then BAM, homeopathic bulshiat. Right next to the farking Alka Seltzer.

Farking farkity fark fark fark.

/ Great, now I need a dilution of farks


b-b-but AirBorne was created by a school teacher!™
 
2014-08-11 03:32:05 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Oh great, more natural medicine nutballs. I had a friend post from the hospital recently about a near-fatal liver infection (that was being successfully treated by Big Pharma), and the Weeners was from one of his coworkers, a self-proclaimed "healer". Her comment was "Less chemicals, more natural elements - come see me and we will treat this."

He's still alive, needless to say he didn't take her up on the offer.


I would report that biatch to the authorities and wear a wire during my appointments with her.
 
2014-08-11 03:32:07 PM  

ChipNASA: I read it before it was pulled....It said that for you to develop a complete immunity to Ebola you have to find someone with Ebola and then have them stand on their head, naked and then you stand on one foot and then luck their butthole while doing the armpit fart thing, while you have a can of open sardines jammed in your ass,  twice a day, for a month and then you'd be cured for life.


someone must have a copy to post
 
2014-08-11 03:32:45 PM  
The author of the piece and the staff of Natural News should be taken out and shot for that "advice".
 
2014-08-11 03:34:47 PM  

serpent_sky: The article is down. We're seriously through the looking glass: someone managed to write something that even Natural News had to admit was irresponsible and flat-out factually incorrect on every level.  Were they just trolling the site, or serious?


In another article this blogger tells us about "geopathogenic zones" caused by "underground streams of water that throw up walls of microwaves and other types of radiation." http://blogs.naturalnews.com/geopathogenic-zones-would-you-sleep-with - a-poisonous-snake-in-your-bed/

I'd like to think that he's trolling Natural News to see just how absurd an article he can get them to publish, but I fear that he really believes the nonsense he's spouting.
 
2014-08-11 03:35:04 PM  

Lexx: I used to hope that fatal stupidity was a self-correcting problem.  Now I am sad.


I once believed in Hanlon's razor...
 
2014-08-11 03:35:06 PM  

styckx: I have a friend who thinks essential oils can cure anything and spends $40 for 10ml bottled of the shiat.

Whatever..


Worth every penny.  It won't cure what ails ya, but you will never have a smoother shave.

demandware.edgesuite.net
 
2014-08-11 03:35:36 PM  
Dr. Gail Derin studied the symptoms of Ebola Zaire, the most deadly of the three that can infect human beings. Dr. Vickie Menear, M.D. and homeopath, found that the remedy that most closely fit the symptoms of the 1914 "flu" virus, Crolatus horridus, also fits the Ebola virus nearly 95% symptom-wise! Thanks go to these doctors for coming up with the following remedies:
1. Crolatus horridus (rattlesnake venom) 2. Bothrops (yellow viper) 3. Lachesis (bushmaster snake) 4. Phosphorus 5. Merc. cor.
If you are not in the U.S., you must locate your closed homeopathic practitioner and ask him or her to order these remedies for you from Hahnemann Pharmacy, (510) 327-3003 (Albany, California, a suburb of Oakland). If your country's laws allow you to call a homeopathic pharmacy directly, do so. In any case be sure to find a homeopathic practitioner you can work with. Do not try to take care of yourself without the further education and experience that a homeopath can give you.
If you're not sure where to find your closest homeopath, call the National Center of Homeopathy, (703) 548-7790, Take this article with you and let a homeopath read it and instruct you on how to use the remedies.
During the Spanish influenza epidemic of 1918, eighty percent of the people treated with allopathic drugs died. Eighty percent of the people who took homeopathic remedies, mostly Crolatus horridus, survived. We are once again faced with a virus that is poised sweep our country.
_______________
This article appears in the forthcoming book by Dr. Eileen Nauman, "Poisons That Heal". Published by: Light Technology Publishing, P.O. Box 1526, Sedona, AZ 86339, (520) 282-6523 This reprint is provided as a service from: The San Francisco Medical Research Foundation 20 Sunnyside Avenue, Suite A-156 l Mill Valley, CA 94941 (415) 381-4061 l Fax: (415) 381-2645
Copyright © 1996. The Light Party.
 
2014-08-11 03:35:53 PM  
Here's another similar link.

http://blogs.naturalnews.com/ebola-protection-discovered-black-plagu e/

To there you have it.  You can take helichrysum oil and cayenne to stop the hemorrhaging, some peppermint oil to stop the diarrhea and lay some JuvaFlex and helichrysum rubber over your liver to keep it functioning.

These people are the western equivalent to African witch doctors...
 
2014-08-11 03:36:25 PM  
The comments on this article are priceless. Most of them are from people with actual common sense who know that using homeopathy is bull, but some comments try to defend homeopathy, despite the fact that it does not work:

"Homeopaths ARE in the 21st century. They use medicines based on quantum mechanics."

You wanna know how I can tell a person has NO IDEA what they're talking about? They don't have a physics degree but they'll happily throw "quantum mechanics" into any old argument, regardless of veracity.
 
2014-08-11 03:36:35 PM  

ChipNASA: I read it before it was pulled....It said that for you to develop a complete immunity to Ebola you have to find someone with Ebola and then have them stand on their head, naked and then you stand on one foot and then luck their butthole while doing the armpit fart thing, while you have a can of open sardines jammed in your ass,  twice a day, for a month and then you'd be cured for life.


That methodology only works in your home turf on fark island.  Off the island you have to use the contents of the can for your colon cleanse, after which you mash it into a paste that supplements your ear candling.  Something about the energy waves on-island versus off-island...
 
2014-08-11 03:37:39 PM  

abhorrent1: Does it involve putting things up your butt?


Yes, but it involves Pineapples and Grapefruit.
 
2014-08-11 03:37:58 PM  
I need to find a way to profit on stupidity. I think I will sell "homeopathy" cures, which will just be water.
 
2014-08-11 03:39:03 PM  

Wrong Trousers: serpent_sky: The article is down. We're seriously through the looking glass: someone managed to write something that even Natural News had to admit was irresponsible and flat-out factually incorrect on every level.  Were they just trolling the site, or serious?

In another article this blogger tells us about "geopathogenic zones" caused by "underground streams of water that throw up walls of microwaves and other types of radiation." http://blogs.naturalnews.com/geopathogenic-zones-would-you-sleep-with - a-poisonous-snake-in-your-bed/

I'd like to think that he's trolling Natural News to see just how absurd an article he can get them to publish, but I fear that he really believes the nonsense he's spouting.


@Chip, this is what I was talking about.  Your location requires different handling for the sardine suppository.
 
2014-08-11 03:40:15 PM  

Splish: Like all things related to homeopathy that sound too good to be true, I'm going to take this with three ten thousandths of a grain of salt.


Woah there!  Why so much?!
 
2014-08-11 03:41:03 PM  
Appropriate use of tag.
 
2014-08-11 03:41:46 PM  
Just baffling. I've known some otherwise very intelligent, very worldly people who recommended a homeopathic something-or-other for my kids, and swore that it worked on theirs. Just astonishing.
 
2014-08-11 03:41:49 PM  

skozlaw: The only thing I know about homeopathy is that it should be be illegal to sell homeopathic remedies in the same aisle as real medicine. I hate when I go looking for a cold medicine and see a box and think "huh, that's new, wonder what it's..." and then BAM, homeopathic bulshiat. Right next to the farking Alka Seltzer.

Farking farkity fark fark fark.

/ Great, now I need a dilution of farks


I accidentally bought some homeopathic eye drops that way. When I noticed the x10 dilution level on the label, I thought "Great, I just spent five bucks on a small bottle of salt water."
 
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