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(Mercury News)   Parents worried school's new sex ed book might tip kids off to what mom's back massager is really for and why dad always says "pomegranate" in the middle of the night   (mercurynews.com) divider line 119
    More: Asinine  
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9287 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2014 at 5:20 AM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-10 11:46:23 PM  
FTFA: "I flipped through it and saw sections that mentioned bondage with ropes and handcuffs," Topham said. "Not only does it have material that is too explicit and inappropriate, it doesn't meet their need for their ages.'"

If kids are tying each other up in full latex with handcuffs for a little but of nips, dips, chains, whips--they aren't ejaculating nakedly in each others' orifices. This seems very much like safer sex to me than movie--burger--backseat all the time.
 
2014-08-11 12:11:40 AM  

Somacandra: FTFA: "I flipped through it and saw sections that mentioned bondage with ropes and handcuffs," Topham said. "Not only does it have material that is too explicit and inappropriate, it doesn't meet their need for their ages.'"

If kids are tying each other up in full latex with handcuffs for a little but of nips, dips, chains, whips--they aren't ejaculating nakedly in each others' orifices. This seems very much like safer sex to me than movie--burger--backseat all the time.


I'm calling bullshiat on that claim. TFA already mentioned one woman who signed the petition without reading it, I'm betting Ms Topham (heh, "top" "ham", heh) is exaggerating for effect.  Of course if someone were to provide the text in question I would be ready to change my mind...
 
2014-08-11 12:55:28 AM  
"Chapter Nine: Getting her to give you a Guatemalan Otter Squat"
 
2014-08-11 01:35:03 AM  
I want to see this book
 
2014-08-11 02:00:26 AM  
Ah, Fremont - Silicon Valley's Kentucky.

Don't you ever change.
 
2014-08-11 02:26:46 AM  
1: High school girls, if  you don't know what Mom'shiatachi Magic Wand is REALLY for, you have an astoundingly lame sense of curiosity and/or an extraordinarily  low sex drive.

2. If Dad's safeword is "pomegranate"., and he's using it enough that the kids are hearing it, he's either a major pussy, or...no, no option.  He's a big pussy.
 
2014-08-11 02:30:07 AM  
GODDAMN filter, that would be MOM's  Magic Wand, made by Hitachi.
 
2014-08-11 05:28:36 AM  
We gave up trying to hide the fun box and they gave up looking under our bed....
 
2014-08-11 05:29:40 AM  
Oh no. The problem. The problem, Pansy! It's started again!  ... I must have fruit!
 
2014-08-11 05:31:19 AM  
img.fark.net

I found the flashlight!
 
2014-08-11 05:34:32 AM  

SquiggsIN: lar_m: We gave up trying to hide the fun box and they gave up looking under our bed....

invest in a box with locks?

/having no kids means we can leave fun box items out on the dresser, kitchen table, washing machine, etc...


That was the Readers' Digest Condensed version - of course the box had locks, but over the course of twenty years and four kids, "discoveries" and "realizations" are made.
 
2014-08-11 05:38:01 AM  
"There's a section that tells you how to talk to your prospective partners about your sexual history," said Asfia Ahmed, a parent and school district employee who said she may sue the district if it does not remove the book. "How does that relate to a 14-year-old kid? I don't see it at all."

Good point. It's way, way better for kids not to know these things ahead of time. And how many 14-year-olds ever even think about sex if adults don't bring up the subject? I mean, really. . . .
 
2014-08-11 05:42:20 AM  

dahmers love zombie: GODDAMN filter, that would be MOM's  Magic Wand, made by Hitachi.


For high school ages, sure. But I TOTALLY thought that the vibrating 4inch orange tube (with handy 70's-80's uber heavy handle and wall plug-in) under my mom's bed was an electric "massager" when I was under 13 yrs old. And I DO mean orange. 70's orange, like the old 70's spoiled orange color, but otherwise looked like a microwaved hotdog (ie: rubber splits like a hotdog, thanks to use, age, and drying out *shudder*).

I remember thinking my mom was a bit overprotective of the "massager" after I found it, but that was mostly just cringing when I borrowed it to use for neck and shoulder pains as a kid. When I realized why she cringed... well, I try not to think about it now. But now I understand.

And it's worse than walking in on your parents during their 'wrestling matches' in retrospect.

/Never walked in.
//They never called it wrestling.
///Does this count as rape? - Signed, Jack Handy
 
2014-08-11 05:45:58 AM  
o.0
 
2014-08-11 05:48:04 AM  

markfara: "There's a section that tells you how to talk to your prospective partners about your sexual history," said Asfia Ahmed, a parent and school district employee who said she may sue the district if it does not remove the book. "How does that relate to a 14-year-old kid? I don't see it at all."

Good point. It's way, way better for kids not to know these things ahead of time. And how many 14-year-olds ever even think about sex if adults don't bring up the subject? I mean, really. . . .


Seriously we were all raised with little knowledge because our parents didn't want to broach the subject and we turned out just fine... >.>
 
2014-08-11 05:50:13 AM  

minorshan: dahmers love zombie: GODDAMN filter, that would be MOM's  Magic Wand, made by Hitachi.

For high school ages, sure. But I TOTALLY thought that the vibrating 4inch orange tube (with handy 70's-80's uber heavy handle and wall plug-in) under my mom's bed was an electric "massager" when I was under 13 yrs old. And I DO mean orange. 70's orange, like the old 70's spoiled orange color, but otherwise looked like a microwaved hotdog (ie: rubber splits like a hotdog, thanks to use, age, and drying out *shudder*).

I remember thinking my mom was a bit overprotective of the "massager" after I found it, but that was mostly just cringing when I borrowed it to use for neck and shoulder pains as a kid. When I realized why she cringed... well, I try not to think about it now. But now I understand.

And it's worse than walking in on your parents during their 'wrestling matches' in retrospect.

/Never walked in.
//They never called it wrestling.
///Does this count as rape? - Signed, Jack Handy


My divorced mother was a child of the fifties. She had one of those stand-up vibrating-belt weight-loss things:

http://atomictoasters.com/2012/04/what-ever-became-of-vibrating-belt -w eight-loss-machines/

She'd never let me use it. Took me years to figure out why.
 
2014-08-11 06:07:37 AM  

Oneofthesedays: markfara: "There's a section that tells you how to talk to your prospective partners about your sexual history," said Asfia Ahmed, a parent and school district employee who said she may sue the district if it does not remove the book. "How does that relate to a 14-year-old kid? I don't see it at all."

Good point. It's way, way better for kids not to know these things ahead of time. And how many 14-year-olds ever even think about sex if adults don't bring up the subject? I mean, really. . . .

Seriously we were all raised with little knowledge because our parents didn't want to broach the subject and we turned out just fine... >.>


You might want to wash your hands. I think you've got a little AIDS on them.
 
2014-08-11 06:17:02 AM  

minorshan: And it's worse than walking in on your parents during their 'wrestling matches' in retrospect.


Our kids always wondered why we were so tired and had to take all those "naps" on the weekends. Until they got older.

lar_m: That was the Readers' Digest Condensed version - of course the box had locks, but over the course of twenty years and four kids, "discoveries" and "realizations" are made.


Four kids? That's crazy!

/yeah, me too
 
2014-08-11 06:19:00 AM  

mike_d85: Oneofthesedays: markfara: "There's a section that tells you how to talk to your prospective partners about your sexual history," said Asfia Ahmed, a parent and school district employee who said she may sue the district if it does not remove the book. "How does that relate to a 14-year-old kid? I don't see it at all."

Good point. It's way, way better for kids not to know these things ahead of time. And how many 14-year-olds ever even think about sex if adults don't bring up the subject? I mean, really. . . .

Seriously we were all raised with little knowledge because our parents didn't want to broach the subject and we turned out just fine... >.>

You might want to wash your hands. I think you've got a little AIDS on them.


One time my friend snuck a sperm in his sister's underpants, and she got pregnant.
 
2014-08-11 06:29:39 AM  

markfara: minorshan: dahmers love zombie: GODDAMN filter, that would be MOM's  Magic Wand, made by Hitachi.

For high school ages, sure. But I TOTALLY thought that the vibrating 4inch orange tube (with handy 70's-80's uber heavy handle and wall plug-in) under my mom's bed was an electric "massager" when I was under 13 yrs old. And I DO mean orange. 70's orange, like the old 70's spoiled orange color, but otherwise looked like a microwaved hotdog (ie: rubber splits like a hotdog, thanks to use, age, and drying out *shudder*).

I remember thinking my mom was a bit overprotective of the "massager" after I found it, but that was mostly just cringing when I borrowed it to use for neck and shoulder pains as a kid. When I realized why she cringed... well, I try not to think about it now. But now I understand.

And it's worse than walking in on your parents during their 'wrestling matches' in retrospect.

/Never walked in.
//They never called it wrestling.
///Does this count as rape? - Signed, Jack Handy

My divorced mother was a child of the fifties. She had one of those stand-up vibrating-belt weight-loss things:

http://atomictoasters.com/2012/04/what-ever-became-of-vibrating-belt -w eight-loss-machines/

She'd never let me use it. Took me years to figure out why.


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-11 06:30:48 AM  

markfara: "There's a section that tells you how to talk to your prospective partners about your sexual history," said Asfia Ahmed, a parent and school district employee who said she may sue the district if it does not remove the book. "How does that relate to a 14-year-old kid? I don't see it at all."

Good point. It's way, way better for kids not to know these things ahead of time. And how many 14-year-olds ever even think about sex if adults don't bring up the subject? I mean, really. . . .


Additionally, sexual history includes stuff besides actually having had sex. NOT having had sex is a sexual history. So are the things one has done to oneself on occasion.
 
2014-08-11 06:32:12 AM  
"How does that relate to a 14-year-old kid? I don't see it at all."

Trust me, your 14 year-old HAS seen it. And probably some things you didn't know existed.

/thanks 4chan!
 
2014-08-11 06:33:01 AM  
If we don't tell kids about sex, they won't have it. That's science.

/cinnamon, CINNAMON!!!
 
2014-08-11 06:42:54 AM  
Kids know waaaay more about sex than most parents think.  They may not have  experience but they know a lot of theory.

When I was in 7th grade, our school district started a new sex ed program.  It was expected to be pretty controversial so they found a parent who was a fully accredited teacher but was no longer teaching and didn't expect to ever want to do more that sub occasionally.  Just in case there was a lynching and they needed to provide a sacrifice.  Part of the curriculum included anonymous questions submitted by the students.  The administration promised us that Every. Single. Question. would be answered.  The questions would be submitted, taken home by the teacher and administrative staff, then answered the next day.  So it came to pass that Micha's mom uttered some of the most salacious things we kids had ever heard in our lives.  My contribution was to ask (written left-handed to avoid being caught by handwriting analysis) whether girls could get VD if they shared a dildo.  I thought for sure that would get censored.  Nope.  She stood in front of the 7th grade class, read the question, and answered, "If one of the girls already has a sexually transmitted disease, it is possible that the dildo could transmit the disease to the other girls."  And damn if I didn't learn something.  I hadn't considered that the carrier wouldn't need to be a live person.

And my question wasn't the raciest.  Near the top but it had lots of company.  This was long before the internet.  Heck, it was before most people had VCRs.  We got our ideas from nudie magazines stolen from the liquor store.  I expect today's kids would roll their eyes at the innocence of my generation.
 
2014-08-11 06:49:59 AM  
Be prepared to have your childhood memories tortured...

cdn2.screenjunkies.com
 
2014-08-11 07:00:03 AM  
Holy...9th grade? Seriously? I had sex-ed in 7th grade, and that was nearly 20 years ago. In Texas. In a town of 1,500 people. And nobody's parents said shiat. (Well, except the turbo-baptists who got their kid an exemption, but everyone already made fun of him anyway.)


Alleyoop: Be prepared to have your childhood memories tortured...


Part of my childhood memories, Yaddle is not. An EU character she was, later on introduced.
 
2014-08-11 07:02:37 AM  
You know, in farm communities they don't get hung up about kids learning about how reproduction works.
 
2014-08-11 07:04:39 AM  
www.marshalls.co.uk

What pommie granite might look like.
 
2014-08-11 07:09:17 AM  
So the complaint is what; that the Sex Ed book is teaching them too much about sex?
 
2014-08-11 07:25:19 AM  

Monkeyhouse Zendo: So the complaint is what; that the Sex Ed book is teaching them too much about sex?


Apparently. All of their children probably have access to the internet so it's a moot point anyway.

The only true way to protect your child from the world is to lock them in the closet until they die of natural causes. If they only knew...
 
2014-08-11 07:26:35 AM  
"Mine's Teacup."
 
2014-08-11 07:28:57 AM  

vharshyde: "Mine's Teacup."


Pineapples
 
2014-08-11 07:36:15 AM  

Somacandra: If kids are tying each other up in full latex with handcuffs for a little but of nips, dips, chains, whips--they aren't ejaculating nakedly in each others' orifices. This seems very much like safer sex to me than movie--burger--backseat all the time.


Yeah seriously. A lil S&M never hurt anyone.
 
2014-08-11 07:37:06 AM  
Pomegranate? I must be really dense.
Try saying Jermaine Jackson in the middle of sex, that will really cause confusion.
 
2014-08-11 07:41:41 AM  

berylman: Pomegranate? I must be really dense.
Try saying Jermaine Jackson in the middle of sex, that will really cause confusion.


I imagine especially so on orgy night. ;)
 
2014-08-11 07:47:40 AM  

dahmers love zombie: 2. If Dad's safeword is "pomegranate"., and he's using it enough that the kids are hearing it, he's either a major pussy, or...no, no option. He's a big pussy.


False.  A sub should never feel bad about using the safe word.  This would indicate poor communication about soft/hard limits between the sub and dom.  Safeword should be for uncommon situations where the dom inadvertently crosses a hard limit, or gets a little over-enthusiastic, or something's too tight/big/hard etc.

Also, "pomegranate" is a perfect safe word... unless your sex involves actual pomegranates.

Fremont parent Becky Bruno said she almost signed the petition asking the district to ban the book after getting emails from other parents before she had a look at it. But after she saw the book, she changed her mind.

Well that's a refreshing change.  Becky Bruno, you don't suck.  Sadly I bet most of the parents on the petition can't say the same thing.
 
2014-08-11 07:54:37 AM  

Oneofthesedays: vharshyde: "Mine's Teacup."

Pineapples


Mine is "Mahalo".

/Turns off lights.
 
2014-08-11 08:07:34 AM  
For Fark's sake, if parents won't talk to their kids about masturbation and sex toys, why are they up in arms about a textbook? Should they learn/hear about it from their friends? The local "adult novelty" shops? Is keeping kids in the dark a healthy alternative to educating them about various acts and fetishes? Chris Hansen reporting..."Where de underage white girls at?"
 
2014-08-11 08:10:15 AM  

Ryder79: For Fark's sake, if parents won't talk to their kids about masturbation and sex toys, why are they up in arms about a textbook? Should they learn/hear about it from their friends? The local "adult novelty" shops? Is keeping kids in the dark a healthy alternative to educating them about various acts and fetishes? Chris Hansen reporting..."Where de underage white girls at?"


It worked with marijuana... Wait, nvm...
 
2014-08-11 08:18:33 AM  
static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-08-11 08:23:53 AM  
Just make sure you remember the safety word unless you want to end up like that guy in Euro trip
 
2014-08-11 08:24:26 AM  

Capo Del Bandito: Somacandra: If kids are tying each other up in full latex with handcuffs for a little but of nips, dips, chains, whips--they aren't ejaculating nakedly in each others' orifices. This seems very much like safer sex to me than movie--burger--backseat all the time.

Yeah seriously. A lil S&M never hurt anyone.


And it also just happens, even with teenagers who don't even realize that's a thing.

I have a memory of being in high school, I was about 17, messing around in a basement and somehow, the cords to the video game system getting involved. Not that we had any idea what we were really doing, or that it was a thing, but it happened.
 
2014-08-11 08:36:55 AM  
I know it's just not liberal to be opposed to teaching 9th graders about bondage, but sorry, I'm not in favor.

Normal sex ed? Absolutely...safe sex, venereal disease, pregnancy, masturbation, hell teach them about the Gspot and oral. That's the kind of sex ed kids should get from school.

Bondage and fetish? Kink? Uh no, sorry that's not appropriate for 9th graders. Yeah they might be clumsily finger banging in the back of cars, but some parts of sexuality need to be developed over a lifetime experience and not lectured about by the weirdo gym teacher who teaches sex ed. Call me crazy, but schiesse porn and felching doesn't need to be part of sex ed to properly educate what are still children.

Children who are probably already prematurely ejaculating into each other yes, but still kids who will no doubt have plenty of time to experience of all sex's various forms in their lives without buying rubber masks and whips for prom.
 
2014-08-11 08:39:46 AM  
FTFA: "But I am a very liberal person, and, in spite of that, I still find the book shocking," Ahmed said.


No you're not.
 
2014-08-11 08:41:43 AM  
FTA: "There's a section that tells you how to talk to your prospective partners about your sexual history," said Asfia Ahmed, a parent and school district employee who said she may sue the district if it does not remove the book. "How does that relate to a 14-year-old kid? I don't see it at all."


He's going to tell Sally about Rosie Palms and those camping trips that Uncle Steve told him not to tell anyone about.
 
2014-08-11 08:51:22 AM  
Too much ads in sex education article.
 
2014-08-11 08:53:05 AM  

Jack Lambert's Missing Teeth: I know it's just not liberal to be opposed to teaching 9th graders about bondage, but sorry, I'm not in favor.

Normal sex ed? Absolutely...safe sex, venereal disease, pregnancy, masturbation, hell teach them about the Gspot and oral. That's the kind of sex ed kids should get from school.

Bondage and fetish? Kink? Uh no, sorry that's not appropriate for 9th graders. Yeah they might be clumsily finger banging in the back of cars, but some parts of sexuality need to be developed over a lifetime experience and not lectured about by the weirdo gym teacher who teaches sex ed. Call me crazy, but schiesse porn and felching doesn't need to be part of sex ed to properly educate what are still children.

Children who are probably already prematurely ejaculating into each other yes, but still kids who will no doubt have plenty of time to experience of all sex's various forms in their lives without buying rubber masks and whips for prom.


I don't know... maybe the idea is that they won't think they're freaks for imagining Betty Sue in a latex body suit penetrating them.  I'm pretty sure that isn't brought up in standard sex ed materials.  Sounds like the book went overboard though.  It should have provided a list of common fetishes with an academic explanation.

BD&SM - Bondage, Domination and Sadomasochism; The use of pain, physical restraints, and personal control in order to enhance sexual pleasures.  Often performed in leather or rubber costumes.
 
2014-08-11 08:53:10 AM  

Monkeyhouse Zendo: So the complaint is what; that the Sex Ed book is teaching them too much about sex?


How much is too much?
Peekaboo
 
2014-08-11 08:54:38 AM  
i clicked on the thing and tried to RTFA but it seems to be more javascript than text.
 
2014-08-11 09:00:08 AM  
I wonder how many of those households have the book fifty shades of gray, which they got at Costco
 
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