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(KTVZ Bend)   Woman breathes life into her bearded dragon. No, that's not a euphemism   (ktvz.com) divider line 26
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4979 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2014 at 12:57 AM (38 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



26 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-11 12:21:15 AM  
i1060.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-11 01:06:53 AM  
Get back to me when she breathes life into her bearded clam.
 
2014-08-11 01:08:30 AM  
one two punch to the thread. it's all over now.
 
2014-08-11 01:15:30 AM  
My bearded dragons are called Patty & Selma.
 
2014-08-11 01:15:56 AM  
Lucky she wasn't given an Angry Dragon.
 
2014-08-11 01:35:44 AM  

thetrenchcoat: Get back to me when she breathes life into her bearded clam.


That made me wonder if it was possible for a woman to do that, so of course I had to Google it. It turns out that autocunnilingus is a thing. Some of the image search results are unrelated, but all NSFW.
 
2014-08-11 01:54:28 AM  
Oh, but it should be, Subby.
 
2014-08-11 02:00:24 AM  
Move over caturday it's beardieday.
 
2014-08-11 02:04:01 AM  
FTFA: Sherrie Dolezal... calls herself the Reptile Rescuer... put her beloved Del Sol in his pool Tuesday she forgot to put rocks in so he could climb about

Sounds like the reptiles need rescuing from her.  If (against the odds) she has grandkids, don't let her give them a bath.
 
2014-08-11 02:05:37 AM  

cyberspacedout: thetrenchcoat: Get back to me when she breathes life into her bearded clam.

That made me wonder if it was possible for a woman to do that, so of course I had to Google it. It turns out that autocunnilingus is a thing. Some of the image search results are unrelated, but all NSFW.


A surprising number of MLP results in the GIS results. Bing, OTOH, is spot-on.

Realizing that Bing sucks, Microsoft's last strategy for search-engine relevance is optimized porn searching.
 
2014-08-11 02:20:35 AM  
img.4plebs.org
 
2014-08-11 02:55:06 AM  
Dafuq is she doing with an Australian native reptile, anyway?
 
2014-08-11 03:35:14 AM  

Jesus McSordid: Dafuq is she doing with an Australian native reptile, anyway?


Vulcan mind meld and some dirty stuff apparently.
 
2014-08-11 04:16:56 AM  
Are they not poisonous? Would chest compressions not have been a less icky but still effective way of saving the little critter?
 
2014-08-11 05:01:31 AM  

bekovich: Are they not poisonous?


No.
 
2014-08-11 05:10:50 AM  
Paula Poundstone?
 
2014-08-11 06:36:29 AM  
Salem?  She's a witch!  Burn her!  ....wait.....what?....the wrong state?....crap.  Nevermind.
 
2014-08-11 08:20:48 AM  

skinink: Lucky she wasn't given an Angry Dragon.


I'll need a picture of said woman before concurring with that my good sir.
 
2014-08-11 09:00:11 AM  
Unavailable for comment:
i.kinja-img.com
 
2014-08-11 09:17:30 AM  
It's not often you try to figure out how far away from this woman in the headline before you read the story. Not that there's anything wrong with blowing lizards.
 
2014-08-11 09:34:12 AM  

thetrenchcoat: Get back to me when she breathes life into her bearded clam.


Her own?
 
2014-08-11 10:03:04 AM  
Let me know when she's made her whisker biscuit rise.
 
2014-08-11 10:43:59 AM  
Why are we even hearing about this? Did she call the news to brag about how awesome she is at saving drowned lizards? Isn't anyone else wondering how the news got involved?
 
2014-08-11 11:42:33 AM  
How's her wolf monkey doing?
 
2014-08-11 02:21:04 PM  
[yourdragonisindeedformidable.jpg]
 
2014-08-12 08:48:26 AM  
Got votie for rescue!  She cares about her rescues, & demonstrated.  To her,
i.imgur.com  credit ohnonotfloridaagain & Smuuth on another (weekly) thread, save dates vanished into ozone. neither of them seen there for while
 
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