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(Salon)   "I took a virginity pledge at ten. And it nearly destroyed my life"   (salon.com) divider line 370
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19763 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Aug 2014 at 2:08 AM (5 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-11 12:04:00 AM
The church taught me that sex was for married people. Extramarital sex was sinful and dirty and I would go to Hell if I did it.

Gotta love those fairy tales.


For more than a decade, I wore my virginity like a badge of honor. My church encouraged me to do so, saying my testimony would inspire other young girls to follow suit. If the topic ever came up in conversation, I was happy to let people know that I had taken a pledge of purity.

So not only did the church screw her up for a long time it also made her an insufferable boor to everyone around her.
 
2014-08-11 12:05:49 AM
I'm now thoroughly convinced that the entire concept of virginity is used to control female sexuality.

www.bloodygoodhorror.com
 
2014-08-11 12:18:24 AM
Who the hell takes a pledge at 10 seriously?

Forced oaths ain't nothing.
 
2014-08-11 12:20:19 AM
Wow, someone's self involved.

/tl;dr
 
2014-08-11 12:24:18 AM
I didn't have to take a pledge

/it just sorta worked out that way
 
2014-08-11 12:31:14 AM

img.fark.netMaudlinMutantMollusk: I didn't have to take a pledge /it just sorta worked out that way

 
2014-08-11 12:39:33 AM
At ten I got a subscription to Model Railroader Magazine, which is essentially the same thing
 
2014-08-11 12:58:13 AM
She sounds loose.
 
2014-08-11 01:20:49 AM
It's stuff like this which makes me know exactly how a moderate Muslim feels when they see the extremists blowing up markets and launching terrorist attacks.There isn't any part of the Bible which says that you'll go to Hell if you have sex before marriage or any of the other nonsense mentioned in the article. If anything, the Bible is pretty clear in that you're going to mess up, you're going to make mistakes in life, and you'll do a bunch of things you shouldn't do but you'll end up doing anyway, and it's all OK because we believe that God has plenty of grace to go around for everyone.Please try to remember that not all Christians and Christian churches are like the one mentioned in the article. From what I see, most of the reasons given about avoiding sex before marriage are more along the lines of "You *really* don't want to fark up your lives with STDs or pregnancies while you're still a teenager" and less of what was mentioned in the article. And for those who do go out and do it, we still love them anyway and don't treat them any differently than we had before. We're not all living in the 11th century.
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-08-11 01:57:00 AM
TheXerox: It's stuff like this which makes me know exactly how a moderate Muslim feels when they see the extremists blowing up markets and launching terrorist attacks.There isn't any part of the Bible which says that you'll go to Hell if you have sex before marriage or any of the other nonsense mentioned in the article. If anything, the Bible is pretty clear in that you're going to mess up, you're going to make mistakes in life, and you'll do a bunch of things you shouldn't do but you'll end up doing anyway, and it's all OK because we believe that God has plenty of grace to go around for everyone.Please try to remember that not all Christians and Christian churches are like the one mentioned in the article. From what I see, most of the reasons given about avoiding sex before marriage are more along the lines of "You *really* don't want to fark up your lives with STDs or pregnancies while you're still a teenager" and less of what was mentioned in the article. And for those who do go out and do it, we still love them anyway and don't treat them any differently than we had before. We're not all living in the 11th century.

media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-11 02:05:37 AM
And on that note, where did my paragraphs and spacing go to?
 
2014-08-11 02:09:30 AM
Did she take it in the pooper?
 
2014-08-11 02:12:14 AM
All my life I've been good
Do what my mom and dad and God say I should
Go to church and Bible School
To live by God's rule

So whatever people tell me
That The Bible tells me
I will do

Walk the halls of high school with my purity ring
Unlike those other girls, I've got my morals in check
It was easy to do until I got a boyfriend
And pardon my French, but he's cute as heck

But I made a pact
To keep my hymen intact
And Jesus and I are tight

Never learned about the birds and the bees
I was taught to keep an aspirin in between my knees
Cause The Bible says premarital sex is wrong
But Jason says that guys can't wait that long

I don't want to lose him
To someone who'll do him
I need to figure something out

Well there's a loophole in The Scripture that works really well
So I can get him off without going to hell
It's my Hail Mary, full of grace
In Jesus' name we go to fifth base!

Oh, thank you for making me holy
And thank you for giving me holes to choose from
And since I'm not a godless whore
He'll have to come in the back door
Therefore

fark me in the ass...

/ sometimes you need to think outside the box

/Garfunkel & Oates, The Loophole, truncated
 
2014-08-11 02:13:44 AM
What is the confession of a Jonas Brother, Alex?

/slinks out of thread
 
2014-08-11 02:15:32 AM
"I took a virginity pledge at ten. And it nearly destroyed my life anus."
 
2014-08-11 02:18:35 AM

TheXerox: And on that note, where did my paragraphs and spacing go to?


They went to Hell for 

Fart_Machine: Did she take it in the pooper?


Teenage girls don't particularly care for that..neither do women, for that matter.
 
2014-08-11 02:21:30 AM

Harry_Seldon: Fart_Machine: Did she take it in the pooper?


Teenage girls don't particularly care for that..neither do women, for that matter.


Au contraire:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY
 
2014-08-11 02:21:53 AM

Harry_Seldon: TheXerox: And on that note, where did my paragraphs and spacing go to?

They went to Hell for  Fart_Machine: Did she take it in the pooper?

Teenage girls don't particularly care for that..neither do women, for that matter.


Lol. Don't generalize.
 
2014-08-11 02:22:52 AM
I look forward to the distant day when religious indoctrination of minors is considered child abuse punishable by a decade in prison.
 
2014-08-11 02:27:26 AM

Gonzee: Harry_Seldon: TheXerox: And on that note, where did my paragraphs and spacing go to?

They went to Hell for  Fart_Machine: Did she take it in the pooper?

Teenage girls don't particularly care for that..neither do women, for that matter.

Lol. Don't generalize.


Yeah.  With most girls/young women these days, anal is definitely on the menu.
 
2014-08-11 02:29:29 AM
Really? Maintaining your virginity nearly ruined your life? Perhaps if you had taken interest in something other than sex it might not have been a big deal.
 
2014-08-11 02:29:55 AM

Mrtraveler01: Harry_Seldon: Fart_Machine: Did she take it in the pooper?


Teenage girls don't particularly care for that..neither do women, for that matter.

Au contraire:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8ZF_R_j0OY


In jesus name, we go to 5th base!  gotta love it.
 
2014-08-11 02:29:59 AM

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Gonzee: Harry_Seldon: TheXerox: And on that note, where did my paragraphs and spacing go to?

They went to Hell for  Fart_Machine: Did she take it in the pooper?

Teenage girls don't particularly care for that..neither do women, for that matter.

Lol. Don't generalize.

Yeah.  With most girls/young women these days, anal is definitely on the menu.


I'm forty and it's always been on the menu since I started at fourteen.
 
2014-08-11 02:32:03 AM
 
2014-08-11 02:32:25 AM

Gonzee: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Gonzee: Harry_Seldon: TheXerox: And on that note, where did my paragraphs and spacing go to?

They went to Hell for  Fart_Machine: Did she take it in the pooper?

Teenage girls don't particularly care for that..neither do women, for that matter.

Lol. Don't generalize.

Yeah.  With most girls/young women these days, anal is definitely on the menu.

I'm forty and it's always been on the menu since I started at fourteen.


Hookers don't count. They'll do anything for enough money.
 
2014-08-11 02:34:03 AM
I'm a virgin not by choice, but it hasn't ruined my life yet... or maybe I'm just in denial lol!
 
2014-08-11 02:37:22 AM

Guilty_plea_bargain: Gonzee: Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Gonzee: Harry_Seldon: TheXerox: And on that note, where did my paragraphs and spacing go to?

They went to Hell for  Fart_Machine: Did she take it in the pooper?

Teenage girls don't particularly care for that..neither do women, for that matter.

Lol. Don't generalize.

Yeah.  With most girls/young women these days, anal is definitely on the menu.

I'm forty and it's always been on the menu since I started at fourteen.

Hookers don't count. They'll do anything for enough money.


Yeah, you shoulda seen the hookers I was banging in my teens. It was crazy.
 
2014-08-11 02:41:06 AM

TheXerox: And on that note, where did my paragraphs and spacing go to?


Since the site redesign Fark seems fond of eating line breaks sometimes. I make sure to preview every time I post now.
 
2014-08-11 02:42:59 AM

TheXerox: It's stuff like this which makes me know exactly how a moderate Muslim feels when they see the extremists blowing up markets and launching terrorist attacks.There isn't any part of the Bible which says that you'll go to Hell if you have sex before marriage or any of the other nonsense mentioned in the article. If anything, the Bible is pretty clear in that you're going to mess up, you're going to make mistakes in life, and you'll do a bunch of things you shouldn't do but you'll end up doing anyway, and it's all OK because we believe that God has plenty of grace to go around for everyone.Please try to remember that not all Christians and Christian churches are like the one mentioned in the article. From what I see, most of the reasons given about avoiding sex before marriage are more along the lines of "You *really* don't want to fark up your lives with STDs or pregnancies while you're still a teenager" and less of what was mentioned in the article. And for those who do go out and do it, we still love them anyway and don't treat them any differently than we had before. We're not all living in the 11th century.


You would be hard-pressed to identify "pre-marital sex" in the 11th century.  The vast majority of people didn't get married in a civil or church service - they pretty much just started living together.  So identifying the "pre-marital" part was pretty much impossible.  Add to that, casual boinking wasn't all that uncommon - and a woman who was proven to be able to pop out a kid became more desirable as a marriage partner - so telling an 11th century person "I will maintain my virginity until marriage" would have probably have made them think you were simple in the head.  Virginity at the wedding (and a proper wedding ceremony in and of itself) only mattered to the nobility; and not always to them - more than one man got whacked by his in-laws desperate to seal an alliance with another family via a woman of proven child-bearing ability (I can think of at least one case where a man's own family offed him to then turn around and marry his widow to another man).

Little hint for reading historical tracts: if someone is going on and on about how some behavior is inviolate and all persons of good character do it, it is actually not followed at all.  No scold prattles on about mores actually followed; they hammer the ones not being followed.  For instance, the Victorians whined about pretty much every even vaguely sexual think they could; yet the Victorian era was pretty much one giant Viagra-and X-fueled bang-a-thon.  Hell, Vickie had a plate attached to the bed at her favorite home, indicating the first and last dates she and Albert farked on it - not slept, mind you, but farked (she also bemoaned pregnancy because it took away from Albert-boning time, and made quite a bit of semi-public hay about this inconvenience her children had burdened her with vis-a-vis riding Albert like a jimsonweed-smoking cowgirl).  In the same way, despite various tracts extolling the honor and resoluteness of samurai in feudal Japan, bushido got ignored so often, it really ought to be translated as "The Rules 3 Samurai in Edo Followed for that One Particularly Sad Weekend in March 1634".
 
2014-08-11 02:43:15 AM

TheXerox: There isn't any part of the Bible which says that you'll go to Hell if you have sex before marriage


Sex before marriage is fornication, and fornication is a sin according to the Bible. And God sends souls to hell because of their sins. There's more than a dozen verses in the New Testament warning against the sin of fornicating. Here's one:

(1 Corinthians 6:18) "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body."
 
2014-08-11 02:43:33 AM

Harry_Seldon: Fart_Machine: Did she take it in the pooper?

Teenage girls don't particularly care for that..neither do women, for that matter.


Hurm.... My experiences must be a statistical anomaly then.

/I'm sure the alcohol had nothing to do with it
 
2014-08-11 02:45:16 AM
www.draftdaysuit.com
 
2014-08-11 02:48:22 AM
I heard TVtropes is bad, but I wouldn't call it a virginity pledge.
 
2014-08-11 02:49:07 AM

Mugato: Wow, someone's self involved.

/tl;dr


Adolf Oliver Nipples: Really? Maintaining your virginity nearly ruined your life? Perhaps if you had taken interest in something other than sex it might not have been a big deal.


m.mathblaster.com

/now get the fark off my planet you pricks
 
2014-08-11 02:51:17 AM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Really? Maintaining your virginity nearly ruined your life? Perhaps if you had taken interest in something other than sex it might not have been a big deal.


This x1000. Was it really virginity that ruined her life or her attention whoring? There are people who are virgins for a long time, some for life, and yet they remain happy. Most adult virgins aren't running around telling random strangers about it under the guise of do-goodery. Adult virgins usually have more important things to do like attending to their comic book collection or posting late night musings on social media sites.
 
2014-08-11 02:51:24 AM
Idk... they do the same thing to guys. Kids are taught that groins are packed with murderous STDs and a dick can impregnate you from 40 yards. 

I dont think teaching kids they shouldnt be having sex while young is a bad thing - it just ends up getting pushed too far. Kids are emotionally stunted idiots that cant legally be held 100% responsible for their actions. We dont want them having sex for the same reason we dont want them drinking or doing drugs. Its likely not going to kill them -- but their assholes with no legal responsibility or brains - what right do they have to go partake in the cool things that can fark up your life in a hurry?

By all means educate the little bastards -- I just dont think they should have sanction to partake in the adult party.
 
2014-08-11 02:52:17 AM

433: TheXerox: It's stuff like this which makes me know exactly how a moderate Muslim feels when they see the extremists blowing up markets and launching terrorist attacks.There isn't any part of the Bible which says that you'll go to Hell if you have sex before marriage or any of the other nonsense mentioned in the article. If anything, the Bible is pretty clear in that you're going to mess up, you're going to make mistakes in life, and you'll do a bunch of things you shouldn't do but you'll end up doing anyway, and it's all OK because we believe that God has plenty of grace to go around for everyone.Please try to remember that not all Christians and Christian churches are like the one mentioned in the article. From what I see, most of the reasons given about avoiding sex before marriage are more along the lines of "You *really* don't want to fark up your lives with STDs or pregnancies while you're still a teenager" and less of what was mentioned in the article. And for those who do go out and do it, we still love them anyway and don't treat them any differently than we had before. We're not all living in the 11th century.

[media.tumblr.com image 300x225]


Yeah, his interpretation of the Bible is pretty positive, too bad there's so much in it that's very easy to interpret negatively.
 
2014-08-11 02:52:30 AM

fusillade762: I'm now thoroughly convinced that the entire concept of virginity is used to control female sexuality.

[www.bloodygoodhorror.com image 758x429]


To be fair, when you've been indoctrinated that badly coming the the 'obvious' conclusion isn't so obvious.
 
2014-08-11 02:52:30 AM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Really? Maintaining your virginity nearly ruined your life? Perhaps if you had taken interest in something other than sex it might not have been a big deal.


s3.amazonaws.com

Did the point of that article go over your head?
 
2014-08-11 02:57:25 AM

worlddan: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Really? Maintaining your virginity nearly ruined your life? Perhaps if you had taken interest in something other than sex it might not have been a big deal.

This x1000. Was it really virginity that ruined her life or her attention whoring? There are people who are virgins for a long time, some for life, and yet they remain happy. Most adult virgins aren't running around telling random strangers about it under the guise of do-goodery. Adult virgins usually have more important things to do like attending to their comic book collection or posting late night musings on social media sites.


Shut up.

/whether you're trolling or not
//really, shut up, you've got nothing worth contributing
 
2014-08-11 02:59:06 AM
I dated a virgin preacher's daughter in Virginia for a few years. She held out for quite some time but boy did she like rolling around in the sack and eventually gave in. Loved a finger up her butt but would beg me not to do it because it was wrong. "No, don't!! It's dirty! (sound of uncontrolled thrashing and near continuous orgasms.)"
 
2014-08-11 02:59:22 AM

worlddan: Adolf Oliver Nipples: Really? Maintaining your virginity nearly ruined your life? Perhaps if you had taken interest in something other than sex it might not have been a big deal.

This x1000. Was it really virginity that ruined her life or her attention whoring? There are people who are virgins for a long time, some for life, and yet they remain happy. Most adult virgins aren't running around telling random strangers about it under the guise of do-goodery. Adult virgins usually have more important things to do like attending to their comic book collection or posting late night musings on social media sites.


It wasn't the virginity that she said ruined her life - it was the pledge she was made to take, and how her parents, guardians, and mentors all made her treat that pledge as a central part of her existence, and told her to bring attention to it.

Is it really fair to call someone an attention whore for activity they undertake at the urging of their parents and church, not to bring attention to themselves, but to the cult they had the misfortune of being born into?
 
2014-08-11 02:59:48 AM

netgamer7k: TheXerox: There isn't any part of the Bible which says that you'll go to Hell if you have sex before marriage

Sex before marriage is fornication, and fornication is a sin according to the Bible. And God sends souls to hell because of their sins. There's more than a dozen verses in the New Testament warning against the sin of fornicating. Here's one:

(1 Corinthians 6:18) "Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body, but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body."


Yeah, unfortunately the Bible wasn't written in English. The word fornication is used to translate the Greek word pornea which referred strictly to prostitution, adultery and incest.
 
2014-08-11 03:01:40 AM

worlddan: This x1000. Was it really virginity that ruined her life or her attention whoring? There are people who are virgins for a long time, some for life, and yet they remain happy.


You've entirely missed the point.

It wasn't simply being a virgin that was harmful, it was the fact that the church stressed it so much, the fact that everyone around her made it into a big deal, the fact that everyone around her praised her so highly for it and told her how important it was.  Virginity wasn't just something she happened to have, it was her state of being and her identity, and it was her church's emphasis on it (instead of her own) that steered her there.  Frankly I'm completely baffled how anyone could read that article and come away with the feeling that she was blaming her emotional troubles on her lack of sexual activity.  Her message wasn't that you shouldn't be a virgin, her message was that you should only be a virgin if you want to.  She stated that explicitly.

I mean, seriously.  WTF.  People either need to bone up on their reading skills or else read the article before writing some scathing and completely misguided criticism of it.
 
2014-08-11 03:01:41 AM

mikefinch: ... and a dick can impregnate you from 40 yards.


Mine can.
 
2014-08-11 03:02:44 AM
I spoke with a 30 year old virgin the other day and the main ideology behind her reason was "I'm not that kind of girl."

Coupled with getting training out of a cosmo magazine it made everything a farking nightmare.
 
2014-08-11 03:03:09 AM
I don't think it was the virginity pledge specifically that ruined her life so much as the religion in general and her own lack of any real damned problems to deal with, ever.

I mean, really?  Your sexual hangups are one of the central issues of your life, to the point where your virginity is a huge part of your identity?  That's not even first-world problems level shiat right there, it's so petty I'm not sure I can even make fun of it properly.  What this girl needed was less a reformation of the church and more a damned job or something.

// I think the Catholics actually tend to have a better attitude here; sure, whatever random thing is a sin, but everyone sins at some point, so you're in good company.  Confess and get over yourself, no reason to double down by adding false humility to the sin-pile until you're neurotic about it.
 
2014-08-11 03:06:23 AM
sucks to be her... I wonder if her parents know just how bad they (and the church) screwed her up.

Putting crap like that into the mind of a 10 year old? Sorry, that's just messed up.   Nothing wrong with dropping knowledge on a person/child but jesus... scaring the hell out of someone for 10 or 15 years because your sky wizard told you to?


What's funny is parents and the church will spew this crap all over the world, then turn around and diddle a few alter boys for fun.

Fact: humans are sexual, growing up all people go through the curious phase. You could lock a growing boy in a box for 15 years, guess what, he's still going to get boners and wet dreams, without ever laying eyes on a woman.  How and why someone hundreds of years ago though it should be hidden away, demonized, and seen as dirty,  ugh.


Just imagine how much father humans could have advanced had we not gone through the dark ages where fear and shame were the only thing known by most of the world. Thanks to the worldwide curse known as religion.
 
2014-08-11 03:06:47 AM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Really? Maintaining your virginity nearly ruined your life? Perhaps if you had taken interest in something other than sex it might not have been a big deal.


This.
 
2014-08-11 03:09:21 AM

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Really? Maintaining your virginity nearly ruined your life? Perhaps if you had taken interest in something other than sex it might not have been a big deal.


Did maintaining your virginity turn you into a sanctimonious crank?
 
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