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(Huffington Post)   21 foolproof pick-up lines   (huffingtonpost.com) divider line 286
    More: Spiffy, street harassment  
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14850 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Aug 2014 at 7:58 PM (10 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



286 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-10 04:55:15 PM  
1. Be attractive
2. Be rich
3. Don't be unattractive
 
2014-08-10 04:59:56 PM  
Some biatches are way too sensitive.
 
2014-08-10 05:03:03 PM  
The only foolproof pick-up line I ever discovered started with "Hello, Yellow Cab...?"
 
2014-08-10 05:09:21 PM  
Those morons who said those stupid things have obviously never been made aware of the power of negging.
 
2014-08-10 05:11:09 PM  
There's not a single mention of sugartits.  This has to be fake.
 
2014-08-10 05:13:06 PM  
"Hey honey, sit on my lap and let me guess your weight"
 
2014-08-10 05:13:10 PM  
"Smile!", "Do you have a boyfriend?", and, "Are you single?" are considered harassment?
 
2014-08-10 05:24:25 PM  
I LOL'd ...

i.huffpost.com
 
2014-08-10 05:27:07 PM  
All I can say, as the father of two girls, is that anyone uttering any of those truly gross, offensive lines should end up doubled over, grasping his groin brought on by a well-deserved kick to the 'nads.
 
2014-08-10 05:28:24 PM  
"Are you single?" is a harmless inquiry, not harassment. Certainly most of the other comments are rude and harassing but can we please focus on the real harassment and not just lump in the innocent, the maladroit and the tacky with it?
 
2014-08-10 05:35:40 PM  

mcmnky: 1. Be attractive
2. Be rich
3. Don't be unattractive


"Attractive" covers intangibles, but yeah.
 
2014-08-10 05:37:07 PM  
Girl I used to work with once told me she met a guy at a wedding who said to her "You have the most beautiful red hair. I bet it would look great on my black satin sheets".

She thought it was the most romantic thing she'd ever heard.
 
2014-08-10 05:37:39 PM  

stan unusual: "Are you single?" is a harmless inquiry, not harassment. Certainly most of the other comments are rude and harassing but can we please focus on the real harassment and not just lump in the innocent, the maladroit and the tacky with it?


Yeah, a few of those don't appear to rise to the level of harassment as the header of the piece seems to imply.  Some of them are pretty farking bad though.  Seriously, fark you with a jackhammer, or, can I put my dick your ass?  Who says that?
 
2014-08-10 05:40:03 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-10 05:40:29 PM  

Prey4reign: All I can say, as the father of two girls, is that anyone uttering any of those truly gross, offensive lines should end up doubled over, grasping his groin brought on by a well-deserved kick to the 'nads.


"Smile" gets a kick in the nuts ?
 
2014-08-10 05:42:20 PM  

Prey4reign: All I can say, as the father of two girls, is that anyone uttering any of those truly gross, offensive lines should end up doubled over, grasping his groin brought on by a well-deserved kick to the 'nads.


You would kick somebody in the nads for asking your daughter if they were single? That seems awfully extreme.
 
2014-08-10 05:49:45 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: stan unusual: "Are you single?" is a harmless inquiry, not harassment. Certainly most of the other comments are rude and harassing but can we please focus on the real harassment and not just lump in the innocent, the maladroit and the tacky with it?

Yeah, a few of those don't appear to rise to the level of harassment as the header of the piece seems to imply.  Some of them are pretty farking bad though.  Seriously, fark you with a jackhammer, or, can I put my dick your ass?  Who says that?


Yeah, 'put your thing on my thing' or 'I wanna put my thing in your thing' are pretty bad, but I'm guessing the real issue is the guy broke rule #2 and/or rule #3 above.

Seriously, is there anything an ugly poor guy can say to woman that doesn't equal harassment?   (Other than, please wait in the parlor.  My rich attractive boss will be down presently.  Can I get you a refreshment before retiring to my dungeon?)
 
2014-08-10 05:50:04 PM  
i.imgflip.com
 
2014-08-10 05:54:09 PM  
The Tony y Manny method:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TKpXTy-sCxg (nsfw)
 
2014-08-10 05:56:07 PM  
"Pardon me, Miss. I lost my puppy, my Bentley keys and my American Express Black Card - can you help me find them? I think they're all in this Newark rent-by-the-hour motel room."
 
2014-08-10 06:01:56 PM  
There really are some losers out there
 
2014-08-10 06:19:36 PM  

stan unusual: "Are you single?" is a harmless inquiry, not harassment. Certainly most of the other comments are rude and harassing but can we please focus on the real harassment and not just lump in the innocent, the maladroit and the tacky with it?


It's not as bad as most of the others on the list, I agree. But using it as an opening line is rude. The asker knows nothing about the woman other than what she looks like, and he's presuming that that's enough for him to know he wants to pursue a relationship with her. It reduces her to her looks, and it says that she's not worth talking to if she's already "taken."

It's a fair question to ask early on, but only after you've established some other connection. Is she carrying a book you like? Is she wearing a shirt with one of your favorite characters on it? Was there something, anything about her that you saw that pointed to an aspect of her personality beyond the fact that you found her nice to look at? Use any of those to start your conversation.
 
2014-08-10 06:25:55 PM  

Gecko Gingrich: "Smile!", "Do you have a boyfriend?", and, "Are you single?" are considered harassment?


I covered "Do you have a boyfriend?" and "Are you single?" above. As for "Smile!"--that's also rude. She might not be in the mood to smile, and that's nobody's business but her own. Telling her to smile isn't the same as asking what's wrong; it's not even saying, "Cheer up!" (though that's also rude, as it's another demand). It's telling her to be nicer to look at. It's for the speaker's benefit, not her own.
 
2014-08-10 06:27:01 PM  

Forty-Two: stan unusual: "Are you single?" is a harmless inquiry, not harassment. Certainly most of the other comments are rude and harassing but can we please focus on the real harassment and not just lump in the innocent, the maladroit and the tacky with it?

It's not as bad as most of the others on the list, I agree. But using it as an opening line is rude. The asker knows nothing about the woman other than what she looks like, and he's presuming that that's enough for him to know he wants to pursue a relationship with her. It reduces her to her looks, and it says that she's not worth talking to if she's already "taken."

It's a fair question to ask early on, but only after you've established some other connection. Is she carrying a book you like? Is she wearing a shirt with one of your favorite characters on it? Was there something, anything about her that you saw that pointed to an aspect of her personality beyond the fact that you found her nice to look at? Use any of those to start your conversation.


It's like the time I went to the grocery store looking for limes. I asked the produce guy if he liked Arcade Fire. Then I mentioned that I'm into French poetry. Finally, I asked if he had any limes.

He did not.
 
2014-08-10 06:31:12 PM  

Gecko Gingrich: It's like the time I went to the grocery store looking for limes. I asked the produce guy if he liked Arcade Fire. Then I mentioned that I'm into French poetry. Finally, I asked if he had any limes.

He did not.


You, I like. You're okay.
 
2014-08-10 06:32:37 PM  

Forty-Two: Gecko Gingrich: "Smile!", "Do you have a boyfriend?", and, "Are you single?" are considered harassment?

I covered "Do you have a boyfriend?" and "Are you single?" above. As for "Smile!"--that's also rude. She might not be in the mood to smile, and that's nobody's business but her own. Telling her to smile isn't the same as asking what's wrong; it's not even saying, "Cheer up!" (though that's also rude, as it's another demand). It's telling her to be nicer to look at. It's for the speaker's benefit, not her own.


I'll agree that those are all too blunt, but being rude is different from harassing someone.  You can be rude without rising to the level of harassment.
 
2014-08-10 06:36:13 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: Forty-Two: Gecko Gingrich: "Smile!", "Do you have a boyfriend?", and, "Are you single?" are considered harassment?

I covered "Do you have a boyfriend?" and "Are you single?" above. As for "Smile!"--that's also rude. She might not be in the mood to smile, and that's nobody's business but her own. Telling her to smile isn't the same as asking what's wrong; it's not even saying, "Cheer up!" (though that's also rude, as it's another demand). It's telling her to be nicer to look at. It's for the speaker's benefit, not her own.

I'll agree that those are all too blunt, but being rude is different from harassing someone.  You can be rude without rising to the level of harassment.


I'll agree to that. It's rude, but not nearly as bad as the jackhammer comment.
 
2014-08-10 06:45:39 PM  

stan unusual: "Are you single?" is a harmless inquiry, not harassment. Certainly most of the other comments are rude and harassing but can we please focus on the real harassment and not just lump in the innocent, the maladroit and the tacky with it?


Actually it's intrusive. My relationship status is none of your damn business.
 
2014-08-10 06:46:03 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-10 06:47:40 PM  
Fool proof pick up lines.

As in, if you use these pick up lines, it's proof you're a fool.
 
2014-08-10 06:50:17 PM  

make me some tea: stan unusual: "Are you single?" is a harmless inquiry, not harassment. Certainly most of the other comments are rude and harassing but can we please focus on the real harassment and not just lump in the innocent, the maladroit and the tacky with it?

Actually it's intrusive. My relationship status is none of your damn business.


Being intrusive isn't harassment.  If I go up to you and ask 'Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?' that's intrusive but not harassment.
 
2014-08-10 06:50:23 PM  
Actually the "Smile" thing is really creepy.  You see it on the subway a lot, generally it's said to someone that is minding their own business, sometimes they are sad for reasons that are really their own business or worse, they are just reading a book and in no way look like they are ready or seeking to strike up a conversation or perform "mime that emotion" for the first random jag-off that barks a suggestion at them.

If the first thing you say to someone is "Smile" yes, you deserve to have your nuts punted.
 
2014-08-10 06:53:15 PM  

Because People in power are Stupid: [img.fark.net image 850x456]


Sorry, can't control. You owe me a new everything.

I walked into Packo's with my son years ago and a guy had a cartoony shirt on with the words pussy or c*nt or some such. He asked me what it said. The guy looked at us with a grin, "it says, 'I'm a douche'." Problem solved.
 
2014-08-10 06:55:11 PM  

TuteTibiImperes: make me some tea: stan unusual: "Are you single?" is a harmless inquiry, not harassment. Certainly most of the other comments are rude and harassing but can we please focus on the real harassment and not just lump in the innocent, the maladroit and the tacky with it?

Actually it's intrusive. My relationship status is none of your damn business.

Being intrusive isn't harassment.  If I go up to you and ask 'Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your lord and savior?' that's intrusive but not harassment.


I disagree, that's also harrassment.
 
2014-08-10 07:08:00 PM  

make me some tea: stan unusual: "Are you single?" is a harmless inquiry, not harassment. Certainly most of the other comments are rude and harassing but can we please focus on the real harassment and not just lump in the innocent, the maladroit and the tacky with it?

Actually it's intrusive. My relationship status is none of your damn business.


It is if I'm trying to be part of you not being single.
 
2014-08-10 07:13:43 PM  
Meh, some people don't know how to act in public.

Some people are easily offended.

/news at 11:00
 
2014-08-10 07:20:04 PM  
Awful lot of bunched-up panties in here. Smile! We're going to P.F. Chang's! Then I'll take you behind a middle school and get you pregnant!
 
2014-08-10 07:28:11 PM  
List fails with out the 'Worm do" line.
 
jbc [TotalFark]
2014-08-10 07:45:24 PM  
www.tvornottv.net
 
2014-08-10 07:59:24 PM  
"Do you know how you would look good?"

"How?"

"With my balls hanging out of your mouth."
 
2014-08-10 08:04:44 PM  
My favorite is "Wanna go halves on a bastard?"
 
2014-08-10 08:05:34 PM  

Gecko Gingrich: "Smile!", "Do you have a boyfriend?", and, "Are you single?" are considered harassment?


Only if you don't follow the three steps of the Boobies.
 
2014-08-10 08:05:52 PM  

Prey4reign: as the father of two girls, is that anyone uttering any of those truly gross, offensive lines should end up doubled over, grasping his groin


Krav Maga.

Every girl should take Krav Maga lessons. It's advanced ball-kicking class.

/ You don't know me!
 
2014-08-10 08:06:32 PM  
I think "smile" is OK as long as it's not followed up by some revolting second comment.
 
2014-08-10 08:07:11 PM  
does this smell like chloroform to you?
 
2014-08-10 08:07:49 PM  

Forty-Two: stan unusual: "Are you single?" is a harmless inquiry, not harassment. Certainly most of the other comments are rude and harassing but can we please focus on the real harassment and not just lump in the innocent, the maladroit and the tacky with it?

It's not as bad as most of the others on the list, I agree. But using it as an opening line is rude. The asker knows nothing about the woman other than what she looks like, and he's presuming that that's enough for him to know he wants to pursue a relationship with her. It reduces her to her looks, and it says that she's not worth talking to if she's already "taken."

It's a fair question to ask early on, but only after you've established some other connection. Is she carrying a book you like? Is she wearing a shirt with one of your favorite characters on it? Was there something, anything about her that you saw that pointed to an aspect of her personality beyond the fact that you found her nice to look at? Use any of those to start your conversation.


Found the feminist.
 
2014-08-10 08:07:49 PM  
This one is foolproof:  When encountering a woman pushing a baby carriage say, "Hey mother, want another?"
 
2014-08-10 08:07:58 PM  
The 'smile' comment makes me want to land a direct hit to the nasal bone. I'm not smiling because I'm forced to be in your company, jackass. Seriously, how farking hard is it to look over, smile, make an offhand comment about an article of clothing or the weather or whatever, and then introduce yourself?
 
2014-08-10 08:08:55 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-10 08:09:02 PM  
"Does this smell like chloroform?"
 
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