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(USA Today)   Because hashtags can never go wrong, Florida State went with #askjameis today   (ftw.usatoday.com ) divider line
    More: Florida, Florida State, REAL ZACH MORRIS, American antiBritish, Jameis Winston, Heisman Trophy, FSU  
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2135 clicks; posted to Sports » on 10 Aug 2014 at 8:26 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



40 Comments   (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2014-08-10 05:38:43 PM  
What brand of alcohol do you prefer for plying women before having nonconsensual sexual intercourse with them? #askjameis
 
2014-08-10 06:34:52 PM  

Serious Black: What brand of alcohol do you prefer for plying women before having nonconsensual sexual intercourse with them? #askjameis


I expected something like this, not some crap about crab legs. I probably missed something....
 
2014-08-10 08:29:53 PM  
The best one was What sentence will you complete first?  One in English class or one in prison?
 
2014-08-10 08:35:21 PM  

Donnchadha: Serious Black: What brand of alcohol do you prefer for plying women before having nonconsensual sexual intercourse with them? #askjameis

I expected something like this, not some crap about crab legs. I probably missed something....


Yeah, I'm not getting the crabs legs thing either. Did he do a stint on that Alaskan crab fisherman show or something?
 
2014-08-10 08:38:55 PM  

quatchi: Donnchadha: Serious Black: What brand of alcohol do you prefer for plying women before having nonconsensual sexual intercourse with them? #askjameis

I expected something like this, not some crap about crab legs. I probably missed something....

Yeah, I'm not getting the crabs legs thing either. Did he do a stint on that Alaskan crab fisherman show or something?


He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.
 
2014-08-10 08:39:17 PM  

Donnchadha: Serious Black: What brand of alcohol do you prefer for plying women before having nonconsensual sexual intercourse with them? #askjameis

I expected something like this, not some crap about crab legs. I probably missed something....


Some people combined them:

"Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"
 
2014-08-10 08:43:50 PM  

user437: He stole crab legs from a grocery store, claiming that he forgot that he hadn't paid for them.


regindyn: He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.


Ah, thanks for that. Nothing is too obscure for Fark apparently.

sforce: "Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"


Okay, now that I have the back story, that *is* pretty funny.
 
2014-08-10 08:59:17 PM  

Serious Black: What brand of alcohol do you prefer for plying women before having nonconsensual sexual intercourse with them? #askjameis


Does this rag smell like chloroform to you? #askjameis
 
2014-08-10 09:31:09 PM  

quatchi: user437: He stole crab legs from a grocery store, claiming that he forgot that he hadn't paid for them.

regindyn: He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.

Ah, thanks for that. Nothing is too obscure for Fark apparently.

sforce: "Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"

Okay, now that I have the back story, that *is* pretty funny.


Made this at the time.

i1078.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-10 09:34:14 PM  

quatchi: user437: He stole crab legs from a grocery store, claiming that he forgot that he hadn't paid for them.

regindyn: He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.

Ah, thanks for that. Nothing is too obscure for Fark apparently.

sforce: "Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"

Okay, now that I have the back story, that *is* pretty funny.


I'm sure the girl he raped doesn't find it funny but to the rest of us it is.....

Someone at FSU is getting fired Monday, this was monumentally stupid.
 
2014-08-10 09:42:29 PM  

StRalphTheLiar: quatchi: user437: He stole crab legs from a grocery store, claiming that he forgot that he hadn't paid for them.

regindyn: He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.

Ah, thanks for that. Nothing is too obscure for Fark apparently.

sforce: "Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"

Okay, now that I have the back story, that *is* pretty funny.


Made this at the time.

[i1078.photobucket.com image 483x500]


Lawls! ^__^
 
2014-08-10 10:02:19 PM  

steamingpile: quatchi: user437: He stole crab legs from a grocery store, claiming that he forgot that he hadn't paid for them.

regindyn: He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.

Ah, thanks for that. Nothing is too obscure for Fark apparently.

sforce: "Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"

Okay, now that I have the back story, that *is* pretty funny.

I'm sure the girl he raped doesn't find it funny but to the rest of us it is.....

Someone at FSU is getting fired Monday, this was monumentally stupid.


I just don't understand how people with handlers who should know better keep doing this shiat.
 
2014-08-10 10:05:04 PM  

StRalphTheLiar: quatchi: user437: He stole crab legs from a grocery store, claiming that he forgot that he hadn't paid for them.

regindyn: He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.

Ah, thanks for that. Nothing is too obscure for Fark apparently.

sforce: "Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"

Okay, now that I have the back story, that *is* pretty funny.

Made this at the time.

[i1078.photobucket.com image 483x500]


BRILLIANTcigarguy.jpg
 
2014-08-10 10:24:10 PM  

NotoriousW.O.P: steamingpile: quatchi: user437: He stole crab legs from a grocery store, claiming that he forgot that he hadn't paid for them.

regindyn: He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.

Ah, thanks for that. Nothing is too obscure for Fark apparently.

sforce: "Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"

Okay, now that I have the back story, that *is* pretty funny.

I'm sure the girl he raped doesn't find it funny but to the rest of us it is.....

Someone at FSU is getting fired Monday, this was monumentally stupid.

I just don't understand how people with handlers who should know better keep doing this shiat.


Well I think this was FSU PR department doing this which boggles the mind about how they didn't know this would go sideways really quickly judging by his blasting a few months ago.

Outside of FSU the man is considered a spoiled brat who got away with rape, how a PR department was not cognizant of this shows lack of planning.
 
2014-08-10 11:08:49 PM  

steamingpile: NotoriousW.O.P: steamingpile: quatchi: user437: He stole crab legs from a grocery store, claiming that he forgot that he hadn't paid for them.

regindyn: He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.

Ah, thanks for that. Nothing is too obscure for Fark apparently.

sforce: "Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"

Okay, now that I have the back story, that *is* pretty funny.

I'm sure the girl he raped doesn't find it funny but to the rest of us it is.....

Someone at FSU is getting fired Monday, this was monumentally stupid.

I just don't understand how people with handlers who should know better keep doing this shiat.

Well I think this was FSU PR department doing this which boggles the mind about how they didn't know this would go sideways really quickly judging by his blasting a few months ago.

Outside of FSU the man is considered a spoiled brat who got away with rape, how a PR department was not cognizant of this shows lack of planning.


I graduated from an SEC school and worked at one briefly as well so ill use my anecdotal "evidence" to try to make sense of it. I did IT work for the PR/sports information office and the people in these offices are typical multi-generational grads of the school, got their masters there and occasionally their PHD as well. They are incredibly bright people but they have completely lost all objectivity and perspective. So to that guy at fsu who approved this I'm sure he was floored by this reaction. In his mind Jameis is a great guy who was setup by an attention whore girl and who was so busy signing autographs for kids at Publix that he forgot to pay for his crab legs. He just can't imagine anyone thinking anything else.
 
2014-08-10 11:27:03 PM  
Somebody did not think their cunning plan all the way through. They figured, no charges on the rape, suspension for the theft, nobody will remember that stuff.
 
2014-08-10 11:28:44 PM  

MaxSupernova: steamingpile: NotoriousW.O.P: steamingpile: quatchi: user437: He stole crab legs from a grocery store, claiming that he forgot that he hadn't paid for them.

regindyn: He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.

Ah, thanks for that. Nothing is too obscure for Fark apparently.

sforce: "Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"

Okay, now that I have the back story, that *is* pretty funny.

I'm sure the girl he raped doesn't find it funny but to the rest of us it is.....

Someone at FSU is getting fired Monday, this was monumentally stupid.

I just don't understand how people with handlers who should know better keep doing this shiat.

Well I think this was FSU PR department doing this which boggles the mind about how they didn't know this would go sideways really quickly judging by his blasting a few months ago.

Outside of FSU the man is considered a spoiled brat who got away with rape, how a PR department was not cognizant of this shows lack of planning.

I graduated from an SEC school and worked at one briefly as well so ill use my anecdotal "evidence" to try to make sense of it. I did IT work for the PR/sports information office and the people in these offices are typical multi-generational grads of the school, got their masters there and occasionally their PHD as well. They are incredibly bright people but they have completely lost all objectivity and perspective. So to that guy at fsu who approved this I'm sure he was floored by this reaction. In his mind Jameis is a great guy who was setup by an attention whore girl and who was so busy signing autographs for kids at Publix that he forgot to pay for his crab legs. He just can't imagine anyone thinking anything else.


Here's how to bring it full circle:

People like this staffer you talk about....at some point, end up running for public office. Let that sink in a minute and think about Congress and the House.
 
2014-08-10 11:49:44 PM  

Iowan73: Somebody did not think their cunning plan all the way through. They figured, no charges on the rape, suspension for the theft, nobody will remember that stuff.


the thing is that #ask[anyone] always goes wrong because twitter is mainly for hating and trolling.

/price check on crab legs #askjameis
 
2014-08-10 11:59:54 PM  

steamingpile: quatchi: user437: He stole crab legs from a grocery store, claiming that he forgot that he hadn't paid for them.

regindyn: He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.

Ah, thanks for that. Nothing is too obscure for Fark apparently.

sforce: "Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"

Okay, now that I have the back story, that *is* pretty funny.

I'm sure the girl he raped doesn't find it funny but to the rest of us it is.....

Someone at FSU is getting fired Monday, this was monumentally stupid.


I live in florida and I don't even know the full story; from what I've seen online is there are about 1000 different versions of what actually happened. First it wasn't reported; then reported - they investigated and then didn't investigate. it was consent then unconsent; there were people filming then there wasn't.

christ I lost count of the bullshiat surrounding this case; last time I checked a "Seminole police officer" did the investigation and cleared him of any wrong doing; DNA and semen was collected "as part of a rape" - but no charges were filed. Was she just drunk as skunk and a loose biatch?
 
2014-08-11 12:46:28 AM  

steamingpile: NotoriousW.O.P: steamingpile: quatchi: user437: He stole crab legs from a grocery store, claiming that he forgot that he hadn't paid for them.

regindyn: He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.

Ah, thanks for that. Nothing is too obscure for Fark apparently.

sforce: "Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"

Okay, now that I have the back story, that *is* pretty funny.

I'm sure the girl he raped doesn't find it funny but to the rest of us it is.....

Someone at FSU is getting fired Monday, this was monumentally stupid.

I just don't understand how people with handlers who should know better keep doing this shiat.

Well I think this was FSU PR department doing this which boggles the mind about how they didn't know this would go sideways really quickly judging by his blasting a few months ago.

Outside of FSU the man is considered a spoiled brat who got away with rape, how a PR department was not cognizant of this shows lack of planning.


I think it reflects how delusional and self absorbed the school is.

They'll probably write this off as the rantings of a few people who don't like football.
 
2014-08-11 06:57:51 AM  

Misconduc: steamingpile: quatchi: user437: He stole crab legs from a grocery store, claiming that he forgot that he hadn't paid for them.

regindyn: He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.

Ah, thanks for that. Nothing is too obscure for Fark apparently.

sforce: "Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"

Okay, now that I have the back story, that *is* pretty funny.

I'm sure the girl he raped doesn't find it funny but to the rest of us it is.....

Someone at FSU is getting fired Monday, this was monumentally stupid.

I live in florida and I don't even know the full story; from what I've seen online is there are about 1000 different versions of what actually happened. First it wasn't reported; then reported - they investigated and then didn't investigate. it was consent then unconsent; there were people filming then there wasn't.

christ I lost count of the bullshiat surrounding this case; last time I checked a "Seminole police officer" did the investigation and cleared him of any wrong doing; DNA and semen was collected "as part of a rape" - but no charges were filed. Was she just drunk as skunk and a loose biatch?


At the risk of going off the talking points here, I assume you know that "drunk as a skunk and a loose biatch" does not preclude "was raped." I would draw you a Venn diagram if I could, but I think you get the idea. Doesn't mean she necessarily was, but doesn't mean she wasn't. Oh, and then of course, blah-blah-blah victime shame/blame etc etc, all those true things too.

Also, am I imagining this detail, or did Jameis actually have the crab legs in his pants? Makes the whole "whoopsies, forgot to pay" a touch less believable.

ALSO I read something just this week about his getting caught off campus shooting BB guns at squirrels? This kid is only what, 20? He is making the stupid mistakes of a kid with wild entitlement issues. He doesn't belong in college football, he belongs in the NFL.
 
2014-08-11 07:22:01 AM  

steamingpile: Well I think this was FSU PR department doing this which boggles the mind about how they didn't know this would go sideways really quickly judging by his blasting a few months ago.

Outside of FSU the man is considered a spoiled brat who got away with rape, how a PR department was not cognizant of this shows lack of planning.


I think you grossly overestimate the competence of FSU's athletics department.  Down here we've just sort of learned to live with it.
 
2014-08-11 08:57:30 AM  

Misconduc: steamingpile: quatchi: user437: He stole crab legs from a grocery store, claiming that he forgot that he hadn't paid for them.

regindyn: He stole crab legs from a grocery store during baseball season.

Ah, thanks for that. Nothing is too obscure for Fark apparently.

sforce: "Which did you find harder to open, the legs of the crabs or the non-consenting women?"

Okay, now that I have the back story, that *is* pretty funny.

I'm sure the girl he raped doesn't find it funny but to the rest of us it is.....

Someone at FSU is getting fired Monday, this was monumentally stupid.

I live in florida and I don't even know the full story; from what I've seen online is there are about 1000 different versions of what actually happened. First it wasn't reported; then reported - they investigated and then didn't investigate. it was consent then unconsent; there were people filming then there wasn't.

christ I lost count of the bullshiat surrounding this case; last time I checked a "Seminole police officer" did the investigation and cleared him of any wrong doing; DNA and semen was collected "as part of a rape" - but no charges were filed. Was she just drunk as skunk and a loose biatch?


The story I believe is that she consented to a certain point then tried to break away and he pressed it then his buddies came in to try and get in on it when she said no so they filmed some of it. And she went as soon as someone told her that's considered rape then never dropped charges, that's the police saying that since her family was shocked charges were dropped since they never heard back from the detective.

I believe she was drunk, got in over her head to feel uncomfortable which is still rape, then the cops did a piss poor job pursuing the issue, and farked up any chance to get evidence. All around this was a clusterfark by Tallahassee PD and from what I have read the entire force seems incompetent.
 
2014-08-11 09:34:58 AM  
I was a friend of Jameis. Jameis taught me... that... when you rape... you get away with it.
 
2014-08-11 09:54:17 AM  
Wasn't Jameis Winston the guy who was falsely accused of rape?
 
2014-08-11 10:23:53 AM  

baufan2005: The best one was What sentence will you complete first?  One in English class or one in prison?


my fav thus far.
 
2014-08-11 10:49:20 AM  

machoprogrammer: Wasn't Jameis Winston the guy who was falsely accused of rape?


Good attempt. If you had gotten here earlier, it might have gotten a few bites.
 
2014-08-11 10:49:21 AM  
Oh, stop it, you.
 
2014-08-11 11:00:53 AM  

Courtney Love's Genital Warts: I was a friend of Jameis. Jameis taught me... that... when you rape... you get away with it.


Nerd humor doesn't work in the sports tab.
 
2014-08-11 11:56:08 AM  
My favorite

AskJameis Of all the coaches you have played for over the years, why did you steal those crab legs?
 
2014-08-11 12:12:40 PM  
It's not a "hashtag", goo-goo...it's a "pound sign".
 
2014-08-11 12:51:14 PM  

RickyWilliams'sBong: steamingpile: Well I think this was FSU PR department doing this which boggles the mind about how they didn't know this would go sideways really quickly judging by his blasting a few months ago.

Outside of FSU the man is considered a spoiled brat who got away with rape, how a PR department was not cognizant of this shows lack of planning.

I think you grossly overestimate the competence of FSU's athletics department.  Down here we've just sort of learned to live with it.


Ricky's pretty much nailed it. This was the athletics department PR bunch who are pretty much incompetent and without a single clue to share amongst themselves. They apparently thought it would be cute and fun and all that. They are the newest corollary to Murphy's Law -- if anyone can F it up, they will in the worst possible way at the worst possible time (and not understand what went wrong or how or why).

And do not write or call to try to explain it to them, as they are very hostile to those who tell them they screwed up.

They don't quite get the idea that there are a whole lot of people out there who are convinced that Jameis is the world's most vile and evil creature since Genghis Khan, Vlad Tepes, Stalin, Caligula, Mao, Hitler, binLaden, whatever. They also don't even have the ghost of a hint that maybe, just maybe there might be a few people who loathe, despise, and hate FSU for all sorts of fantastic and often surreal 'reasons' (Chinese whispers is real life), and that FSU is the catfish of the scholarly and academic world. Odd, though, that none of those people know jackshiat about the university and probably couldn't tell you where the place is (other than "Florida," and I doubt some of them even know that much). (For proof of these claims, please review all previous messages in this shiat pit of a thread.) Such folks seem unable to accept that there might just be some shiny wonderful things about FSU.

The really funny part is all the Penn State people who still believe Paterno was a saint do maintain that Bowden was Satan's right hand man and that the university is the acme of political and fiscal corruption. That one I just don't get.

People will believe whatever they want to believe, and once they've got that belief they are going to hold onto it like Gollum with the ring.

Oooh. that turned into a fairly nice metaphor, didn't it?
 
2014-08-11 12:52:16 PM  

steamingpile: The story I believe is that she consented to a certain point then tried to break away and he pressed it then his buddies came in to try and get in on it when she said no so they filmed some of it. And she went as soon as someone told her that's considered rape then never dropped charges, that's the police saying that since her family was shocked charges were dropped since they never heard back from the detective.

I believe she was drunk, got in over her head to feel uncomfortable which is still rape, then the cops did a piss poor job pursuing the issue, and farked up any chance to get evidence. All around this was a clusterfark by Tallahassee PD and from what I have read the entire force seems incompetent.


What did the cops do wrong, exactly?  You notice that there hasn't been a follow-up lawsuit to any of this, right?

And her story changed from "I was hit on the back of the head" (doctors found no evidence of head trauma) to "I was drugged" (doctors found no evidence of drugs) to "I was drunk" (BAC showed she might have been drunk at the time).

But it's been interesting to see everyone go all Emmitt Till on this kid.
 
2014-08-11 12:55:25 PM  

tacos4jesus: ALSO I read something just this week about his getting caught off campus shooting BB guns at squirrels? This kid is only what, 20? He is making the stupid mistakes of a kid with wild entitlement issues. He doesn't belong in college football, he belongs in th ...


He and some teammates were having a BB gun fight.

The kid's an idiot, but I don't see why jail would help him (or most other black kids his age that get locked up for bullshiat).
 
2014-08-11 01:04:35 PM  

FLMountainMan: tacos4jesus: ALSO I read something just this week about his getting caught off campus shooting BB guns at squirrels? This kid is only what, 20? He is making the stupid mistakes of a kid with wild entitlement issues. He doesn't belong in college football, he belongs in th ...

He and some teammates were having a BB gun fight.

The kid's an idiot, but I don't see why jail would help him (or most other black kids his age that get locked up for bullshiat).


Jail isn't to 'help' him, it's to keep him away from society, at least for a while.
 
2014-08-11 01:35:54 PM  

steamingpile: Well I think this was FSU PR department doing this which boggles the mind about how they didn't know this would go sideways really quickly judging by his blasting a few months ago.

Outside of FSU the man is considered a spoiled brat who got away with rape, how a PR department was not cognizant of this shows lack of planning.


Because universities, like every other institution large enough to have a PR department, almost exclusively hire vapid former sorority girls as "social media experts."
 
2014-08-11 02:08:13 PM  

Crewmannumber6: Jail isn't to 'help' him, it's to keep him away from society, at least for a while.


Jesus christ. Let's not open that can of worms, please?
 
2014-08-11 02:13:55 PM  

FLMountainMan: tacos4jesus: ALSO I read something just this week about his getting caught off campus shooting BB guns at squirrels? This kid is only what, 20? He is making the stupid mistakes of a kid with wild entitlement issues. He doesn't belong in college football, he belongs in th ...

He and some teammates were having a BB gun fight.

The kid's an idiot, but I don't see why jail would help him (or most other black kids his age that get locked up for bullshiat).


Didn't mean to suggest he should go to jail for that. Just to recognize a pattern of pisspoor decision making.
 
2014-08-11 02:14:02 PM  

FLMountainMan: steamingpile: The story I believe is that she consented to a certain point then tried to break away and he pressed it then his buddies came in to try and get in on it when she said no so they filmed some of it. And she went as soon as someone told her that's considered rape then never dropped charges, that's the police saying that since her family was shocked charges were dropped since they never heard back from the detective.

I believe she was drunk, got in over her head to feel uncomfortable which is still rape, then the cops did a piss poor job pursuing the issue, and farked up any chance to get evidence. All around this was a clusterfark by Tallahassee PD and from what I have read the entire force seems incompetent.

What did the cops do wrong, exactly?  You notice that there hasn't been a follow-up lawsuit to any of this, right?

And her story changed from "I was hit on the back of the head" (doctors found no evidence of head trauma) to "I was drugged" (doctors found no evidence of drugs) to "I was drunk" (BAC showed she might have been drunk at the time).

But it's been interesting to see everyone go all Emmitt Till on this kid.


Emmit till? Way to dramatize this bullshiat that is just a spoiled athlete.

They farked up by dropping the case while never informing the victim, hell just look up all the BS tpd has against them to see they're incompetent.
 
2014-08-11 04:16:41 PM  

steamingpile: FLMountainMan: steamingpile: The story I believe is that she consented to a certain point then tried to break away and he pressed it then his buddies came in to try and get in on it when she said no so they filmed some of it. And she went as soon as someone told her that's considered rape then never dropped charges, that's the police saying that since her family was shocked charges were dropped since they never heard back from the detective.

I believe she was drunk, got in over her head to feel uncomfortable which is still rape, then the cops did a piss poor job pursuing the issue, and farked up any chance to get evidence. All around this was a clusterfark by Tallahassee PD and from what I have read the entire force seems incompetent.

What did the cops do wrong, exactly?  You notice that there hasn't been a follow-up lawsuit to any of this, right?

And her story changed from "I was hit on the back of the head" (doctors found no evidence of head trauma) to "I was drugged" (doctors found no evidence of drugs) to "I was drunk" (BAC showed she might have been drunk at the time).

But it's been interesting to see everyone go all Emmitt Till on this kid.

Emmit till? Way to dramatize this bullshiat that is just a spoiled athlete.

They farked up by dropping the case while never informing the victim, hell just look up all the BS tpd has against them to see they're incompetent.


Just because the TPD farked up and is obviously bad doesn't make him guilty. Her story changed 3 times and even her friends testimony said it was consensual.

My theory: She went out, got drunk, farked Jameis and her boyfriend found out so she claimed rape.
 
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