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(Daily Mail)   That roar of laughter you heard rippling across the Atlantic was merely the chuckling of common English folk laughing at the government's suggestion that they take a day off of drinking every other night   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 45
    More: Unlikely  
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4132 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Aug 2014 at 9:42 AM (37 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



45 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-10 08:10:36 AM  
The roar of laughter was merely chuckling of common folk laughing?

How much have you been drinking, Subby?
 
2014-08-10 09:45:28 AM  
Everyone could stand to benefit from a diet like that, not just the English.
 
2014-08-10 09:47:07 AM  
I thought 2 or 3 drinks a day was good?
 
2014-08-10 09:56:27 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-10 09:56:30 AM  
Once a week is plenty.
 
2014-08-10 10:08:28 AM  
On non-drinking days Fark page views would go to shiat
 
2014-08-10 10:08:31 AM  
Want to cut down the alcohol consumption of humans?
Let them eat pot.
 
2014-08-10 10:12:37 AM  
But sober, they'll realize they're living in Britain.


/There Is No Alternative
 
2014-08-10 10:13:18 AM  
Since I have no friends who use quango in speech, swearing, or headlines. I highlighted the word, and right clicked. To my amazement, the drop down list included "translate into English."

One of the all time tests for alcoholism is to try to stop drinking for a day or two. If it's rough, it's called detox.  A surefire method to help stay off the booze is to double or triple the time spent masturbating.

The downside to that is that it's ten times harder to quit masturbating for two days that to stop drinking for that period.

For this reason, never follow a quango dictate alone, always include a friend. Here's my friend Mango, for help with the quango. Never Quango without Mango.

www.fashiongonerogue.com
 
2014-08-10 10:27:34 AM  
Honestly I can agree with this and in my own personal life I have taken it a step father. If I am out and at the bar having a white wine and I see someone overindulging, I will "accidentally" knock their drink out of their hand. If at all possible I will try to knock it on the floor so as not to cause a scene or get anyone wet but it has probably saved people a lot of aggravation in the long run. My support group has helped me to stop drinking in the fashion I used to and as a group we have taken a more "hands-on" approach to helping other people cut down as well. I always apologize or at least try to act as if I was myself pushed but I can usually see the look of appreciation from others for doing it.
 
2014-08-10 10:29:58 AM  

Fizics: Honestly I can agree with this and in my own personal life I have taken it a step father. If I am out and at the bar having a white wine and I see someone overindulging, I will "accidentally" knock their drink out of their hand. If at all possible I will try to knock it on the floor so as not to cause a scene or get anyone wet but it has probably saved people a lot of aggravation in the long run. My support group has helped me to stop drinking in the fashion I used to and as a group we have taken a more "hands-on" approach to helping other people cut down as well. I always apologize or at least try to act as if I was myself pushed but I can usually see the look of appreciation from others for doing it.


Are you one of those people who asks to bum a smoke, then break it in two in front of the smoker, and consider it a lesson learned?
 
2014-08-10 10:34:10 AM  
Mjeck:

Are you one of those people who asks to bum a smoke, then break it in two in front of the smoker, and consider it a lesson learned?

I would never touch a cigarette, we have terrible troubles with smokers trying to smoke outside of our building and it's a disgusting habit. Years ago, I would keep a small spray bottle of fox urine in my car and if I saw a smoker in the same spot more than three times I would give them a spray as I walked by. The smell is awful and it gives them an idea of what it is like for non-smokers.
 
2014-08-10 10:36:32 AM  

Fizics: Mjeck:

Are you one of those people who asks to bum a smoke, then break it in two in front of the smoker, and consider it a lesson learned?

I would never touch a cigarette, we have terrible troubles with smokers trying to smoke outside of our building and it's a disgusting habit. Years ago, I would keep a small spray bottle of fox urine in my car and if I saw a smoker in the same spot more than three times I would give them a spray as I walked by. The smell is awful and it gives them an idea of what it is like for non-smokers.


How do you get people to exercise and eat a balanced diet?

Inducing heart attacks, or perhaps faking blood test results.
 
2014-08-10 10:36:38 AM  

Fizics: Honestly I can agree with this and in my own personal life I have taken it a step father. If I am out and at the bar having a white wine and I see someone overindulging, I will "accidentally" knock their drink out of their hand. If at all possible I will try to knock it on the floor so as not to cause a scene or get anyone wet but it has probably saved people a lot of aggravation in the long run. My support group has helped me to stop drinking in the fashion I used to and as a group we have taken a more "hands-on" approach to helping other people cut down as well. I always apologize or at least try to act as if I was myself pushed but I can usually see the look of appreciation from others for doing it.


Buy some life insurance.
Lots of life insurance.
BTW, need a beneficiary? We could meet at a bar down the block.

/better than my other retirement plan
 
2014-08-10 10:38:52 AM  

Fizics: Honestly I can agree with this and in my own personal life I have taken it a step father. If I am out and at the bar having a white wine and I see someone overindulging, I will "accidentally" knock their drink out of their hand. If at all possible I will try to knock it on the floor so as not to cause a scene or get anyone wet but it has probably saved people a lot of aggravation in the long run. My support group has helped me to stop drinking in the fashion I used to and as a group we have taken a more "hands-on" approach to helping other people cut down as well. I always apologize or at least try to act as if I was myself pushed but I can usually see the look of appreciation from others for doing it.


Enjoy your hospital stay(s)
 
2014-08-10 10:38:57 AM  

Mjeck: Are you one of those people who asks to bum a smoke, then break it in two in front of the smoker, and consider it a lesson learned?


Only if it's weed, and in Colorado.
 
2014-08-10 10:41:38 AM  

Fizics: Honestly I can agree with this and in my own personal life I have taken it a step father. If I am out and at the bar having a white wine and I see someone overindulging, I will "accidentally" knock their drink out of their hand. If at all possible I will try to knock it on the floor so as not to cause a scene or get anyone wet but it has probably saved people a lot of aggravation in the long run. My support group has helped me to stop drinking in the fashion I used to and as a group we have taken a more "hands-on" approach to helping other people cut down as well. I always apologize or at least try to act as if I was myself pushed but I can usually see the look of appreciation from others for doing it.


Flaw in your troll post: a white wine drinker would return home from the bar post on his blog about how he was thinking about knocking over the drink.
 
2014-08-10 10:45:43 AM  
I can understand people not agreeing with spilling someone else's drink but if you think about the effects in the long run, my spilling their drink saves lives. Does your way save lives? Thinking about the drunk driving accidents I have prevented makes me feel pretty OK with it.
 
2014-08-10 10:47:37 AM  

Fizics: I can understand people not agreeing with spilling someone else's drink but if you think about the effects in the long run, my spilling their drink saves lives. Does your way save lives? Thinking about the drunk driving accidents I have prevented makes me feel pretty OK with it.


At first I was doubtful, but I went and spilled my gin all over myself and now feel a lot better, thank you
 
2014-08-10 10:49:49 AM  

Fizics: I can understand people not agreeing with spilling someone else's drink but if you think about the effects in the long run, my spilling their drink saves lives. Does your way save lives? Thinking about the drunk driving accidents I have prevented makes me feel pretty OK with it.


Your cunning plan has been done.
It did not end well.

farking humans, so touchy
 
2014-08-10 11:00:03 AM  

Mjeck: Fizics: I can understand people not agreeing with spilling someone else's drink but if you think about the effects in the long run, my spilling their drink saves lives. Does your way save lives? Thinking about the drunk driving accidents I have prevented makes me feel pretty OK with it.

At first I was doubtful, but I went and spilled my gin all over myself and now feel a lot better, thank you


Is this like self-deporting for dipsomaniacs? I can't say I approve of wasting gin but most white wine deserves to end up on the floor.
 
2014-08-10 11:11:12 AM  
living in California means we thankfully have avocados for most of the year

Um, as far as I know, avocados are available everywhere year-round now.
 
2014-08-10 11:23:15 AM  
I went 2 weeks, just to see if I could do it.  It was a goal, but you know what?  Life is kinda boring without a little boozing in it.
 
2014-08-10 11:28:22 AM  

BitwiseShift: Since I have no friends who use quango in speech, swearing, or headlines. I highlighted the word, and right clicked. To my amazement, the drop down list included "translate into English."

One of the all time tests for alcoholism is to try to stop drinking for a day or two. If it's rough, it's called detox.  A surefire method to help stay off the booze is to double or triple the time spent masturbating.

The downside to that is that it's ten times harder to quit masturbating for two days that to stop drinking for that period.

For this reason, never follow a quango dictate alone, always include a friend. Here's my friend Mango, for help with the quango. Never Quango without Mango.


Wtf.
 
2014-08-10 11:44:20 AM  

BitwiseShift: Since I have no friends who use quango in speech, swearing, or headlines. I highlighted the word, and right clicked. To my amazement, the drop down list included "translate into English."

One of the all time tests for alcoholism is to try to stop drinking for a day or two. If it's rough, it's called detox.  A surefire method to help stay off the booze is to double or triple the time spent masturbating.

The downside to that is that it's ten times harder to quit masturbating for two days that to stop drinking for that period.

For this reason, never follow a quango dictate alone, always include a friend. Here's my friend Mango, for help with the quango. Never Quango without Mango.

[www.fashiongonerogue.com image 400x225]


I tried to Quango Tango once, but I just ended up all farked up on tequila.
 
2014-08-10 11:48:34 AM  
How about a compromise?

I won't drink when I'm asleep.
 
2014-08-10 12:05:41 PM  
How the hell are they going to eat English food sober?
 
2014-08-10 12:13:40 PM  
If they did that, how could the UK maintain its reputation as the Florida of Europe?
 
2014-08-10 12:40:02 PM  

Piizzadude: On non-drinking days Fark page views would go to shiat


The drunks are a big part of the charm.
 
2014-08-10 12:41:05 PM  

brap: How about a compromise?

I won't drink when I'm asleep.


I like that. It's up there with, I only smoke when I have a cigarette.
 
2014-08-10 12:43:46 PM  

Fizics: Honestly I can agree with this and in my own personal life I have taken it a step father. If I am out and at the bar having a white wine and I see someone overindulging, I will "accidentally" knock their drink out of their hand. If at all possible I will try to knock it on the floor so as not to cause a scene or get anyone wet but it has probably saved people a lot of aggravation in the long run. My support group has helped me to stop drinking in the fashion I used to and as a group we have taken a more "hands-on" approach to helping other people cut down as well. I always apologize or at least try to act as if I was myself pushed but I can usually see the look of appreciation from others for doing it.


I hope you pay for their drink while you're at it, because that stuff is expensive. If I had a drink that I paid more than $2-3 for I'd be pretty pissed at you.
 
2014-08-10 01:28:54 PM  

SDRR: I like that. It's up there with, I only smoke when I have a cigarette.


I never smoke.

(The cigarettes do all the smoking for me, I just do the inhaling.)
 
2014-08-10 01:34:39 PM  

brap: SDRR: I like that. It's up there with, I only smoke when I have a cigarette.

I never smoke.

(The cigarettes do all the smoking for me, I just do the inhaling.)


Exactly

cheers!
 
2014-08-10 01:41:40 PM  
One day on, one day off -- sounds sensible.
I can keep drinking every NIGHT, though, right?
 
2014-08-10 01:51:33 PM  

BitwiseShift: Since I have no friends who use quango in speech, swearing, or headlines. I highlighted the word, and right clicked. To my amazement, the drop down list included "translate into English."


According to Partridge, "Quango"  is Quasi Non Government Organization.
He says it's from 1975 or so --  guessing it's more British English than American
 
2014-08-10 02:09:49 PM  

Fizics: Mjeck:

Are you one of those people who asks to bum a smoke, then break it in two in front of the smoker, and consider it a lesson learned?

I would never touch a cigarette, we have terrible troubles with smokers trying to smoke outside of our building and it's a disgusting habit. Years ago, I would keep a small spray bottle of fox urine in my car and if I saw a smoker in the same spot more than three times I would give them a spray as I walked by. The smell is awful and it gives them an idea of what it is like for non-smokers.


i.ytimg.com
 
2014-08-10 03:29:21 PM  
Sure, what's next? No fap day?
 
2014-08-10 03:54:57 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-10 04:53:49 PM  

Fizics: Honestly I can agree with this and in my own personal life I have taken it a step father. If I am out and at the bar having a white wine and I see someone overindulging, I will "accidentally" knock their drink out of their hand. If at all possible I will try to knock it on the floor so as not to cause a scene or get anyone wet but it has probably saved people a lot of aggravation in the long run. My support group has helped me to stop drinking in the fashion I used to and as a group we have taken a more "hands-on" approach to helping other people cut down as well. I always apologize or at least try to act as if I was myself pushed but I can usually see the look of appreciation from others for doing it.


You must be a laugh riot at parties.
 
2014-08-10 06:58:45 PM  

make me some tea: living in California means we thankfully have avocados for most of the year

Um, as far as I know, avocados are available everywhere year-round now.


World travelers with better conditions than economy and they don't get manhandled by TSA.
 
2014-08-10 08:37:35 PM  

Fizics: I can understand people not agreeing with spilling someone else's drink but if you think about the effects in the long run, my spilling their drink saves lives. Does your way save lives? Thinking about the drunk driving accidents I have prevented makes me feel pretty OK with it.


This is an excellent argument for cock-blocking. Imagine all the Hilters you prevent being born. The savings in lives is incalculable, really.
 
2014-08-10 08:55:51 PM  
I'm no expert but...: Fizics: Honestly I can agree with this and in my own personal life I have taken it a step father. If I am out and at the bar having a white wine and I see someone overindulging, I will "accidentally" knock their drink out of their hand. If at all possible I will try to knock it on the floor so as not to cause a scene or get anyone wet but it has probably saved people a lot of aggravation in the long run. My support group has helped me to stop drinking in the fashion I used to and as a group we have taken a more "hands-on" approach to helping other people cut down as well. I always apologize or at least try to act as if I was myself pushed but I can usually see the look of appreciation from others for doing it.

You must be a laugh riot  flaming douchenozzle with delusions of adequacyat parties.

/Fizics? Dude? The only thing you're doing is making more money for the bar and nothing else, so screw you
 
2014-08-11 01:03:33 AM  
insert jpeg of Shane MacGowan
 
2014-08-11 12:03:22 PM  
So what am I supposed to do on the non-drinking days?  Certainly not work.
 
2014-08-11 04:50:32 PM  

dascott: So what am I supposed to do on the non-drinking days?  Certainly not work.


you can always make a real good case of beer
 
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