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(Mother Nature Network)   Here's a recipe for the world's best vegan guacamole. As opposed to all the meat-based guac out there   (mnn.com) divider line 136
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3643 clicks; posted to Main » on 10 Aug 2014 at 8:33 AM (5 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-10 10:16:31 AM

Jimmy's getting angry: Make sure you use the "hot variety" jalapenos.


For the love of all that's tasty, THIS. Why do we have to have neutered jalapenos? Years ago I ruined a batch of salsa because I didn't know there were such things as non-hot jalapenos. Now, I always taste a bit of each pepper.
 
2014-08-10 10:17:34 AM
4 avocados
1 lg mango (half cut; half pureéd)
2 limes; juiced
1 diced red onion
1/3c diced cilantro
1/4c wildflower honey
salt to taste

coarsely mix with potato masher

You're welcome
 
2014-08-10 10:18:03 AM
i599.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-10 10:25:01 AM

Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: abhorrent1: WTF is in regular guacamole that's not vegan? Farking stupid.

I'm not vegan and not a big guac fan so I don't pay that much attention to it, but I'm guessing some store bought guacamole may contain animal based gelatin or other animal based additives to act as preservatives and stabilizing agents.

And based on a quick google search, some people add Worchester sauce in their homemade version, which would also not be vegan.


This.  Pretty much every store bought sauce mix has some sort of gelatin.

mike_d85: I don't know about guacamole, but I know a great brand of gluten free rice.


I know you're joking, but check out any boxed rice mix.  They normally add some sort of wheat product.
 
2014-08-10 10:27:33 AM

Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: theknuckler_33: meh... I use fresh serrano peppers instead of pickled jalapenos. I also add a clove or two of fresh garlic depending on the size of the cloves. Sometimes I'll substitute a few tablespoons of store bought mild salsa for the fresh tomatoes.

It's pretty hard to make a bad guacomole if you have good avocados.

This might sound crazy but Walmart always seems to have nicest avocados. That and bananas.


I don't know that that says much of anything about Walmart considering avocados and bananas continue to ripen once picked. You could probably get a good banana and avocado at a gas station if they had them.
 
2014-08-10 10:43:07 AM

ChubbyTiger: abhorrent1: WTF is in regular guacamole that's not vegan? Farking stupid.

Well, I sometimes add the blood of innocents, but it's not really a necessity.


I love you.
 
2014-08-10 10:44:37 AM

mutterfark: Jimmy's getting angry: Make sure you use the "hot variety" jalapenos.

For the love of all that's tasty, THIS. Why do we have to have neutered jalapenos? Years ago I ruined a batch of salsa because I didn't know there were such things as non-hot jalapenos. Now, I always taste a bit of each pepper.


Really? Because I was being facetious.
Those exist? That's an abomination. If you want sweet pepper, just use a bell pepper.
That being said, I use cayenne for heat in guacamole.
 
2014-08-10 10:47:27 AM

megarian: What, do they add cage free, free range, gluten free, cruelty free, organic, local, artisan smug-sh*t to it to make Officially Vegan?

I don't even think sh*t is vegan.

This recipe is a lie.


Please don't throw all vegans into one big pile as if we are all arrogant assholes. I know some are. So are some meat-eaters.
 
2014-08-10 10:56:08 AM

Fank: megarian: What, do they add cage free, free range, gluten free, cruelty free, organic, local, artisan smug-sh*t to it to make Officially Vegan?

I don't even think sh*t is vegan.

This recipe is a lie.

Please don't throw all vegans into one big pile as if we are all arrogant assholes. I know some are. So are some meat-eaters.


I understand that. That's why threw the cage free/free range/artsian/ stuff in there. None of that has to do with veganism.

It's all good, but when people start being twats about it, they're going to be made fun of.
 
2014-08-10 10:57:46 AM

sycraft: Dear vegans: Shut up.

Seriously, if you know so little about your diet that you need people to tell you something is specially vegan, then you are doing it wrong. You don't need a vegan guacamole recipe, it is vegan by default. If you don't know that, and/or don't know what additives would make it not vegan then why the fark are you vegan?

I hate it when people pretend to be on some restrictive diet or another for trendy reasons. You wanna be vegan, fine, but it isn't farking hard. The rules, no animal flesh or products, are pretty damn simple.


Don't lug us all on one pile please. I know there are obnoxious in-your-face vegans, address them as such.
 
2014-08-10 10:58:16 AM

Fank: megarian: What, do they add cage free, free range, gluten free, cruelty free, organic, local, artisan smug-sh*t to it to make Officially Vegan?

I don't even think sh*t is vegan.

This recipe is a lie.

Please don't throw all vegans into one big pile as if we are all arrogant assholes. I know some

Fank: megarian: What, do they add cage free, free range, gluten free, cruelty free, organic, local, artisan smug-sh*t to it to make Officially Vegan?

I don't even think sh*t is vegan.

This recipe is a lie.

Please don't throw all vegans into one big pile as if we are all arrogant assholes.


Too late.  I live in a very crunchy area of my city and EVERY SINGLE VEGAN broadcasts his/her status.   If you don't, enjoy your singularity.

/you're not saving the planet, stop believing that you are
//the animals you think you're saving would devour you in a heartbeat
///return the favor and make sure to slather them in the condiment of your choice
 
2014-08-10 11:00:45 AM
Huh. There really is gluten free toilet bowl cleaner.
 
2014-08-10 11:07:00 AM

Jimmy's getting angry: mutterfark: Jimmy's getting angry: Make sure you use the "hot variety" jalapenos.

For the love of all that's tasty, THIS. Why do we have to have neutered jalapenos? Years ago I ruined a batch of salsa because I didn't know there were such things as non-hot jalapenos. Now, I always taste a bit of each pepper.

Really? Because I was being facetious.
Those exist? That's an abomination. If you want sweet pepper, just use a bell pepper.
That being said, I use cayenne for heat in guacamole.


They definitely exist(although they may just be accidental), and the various methods of telling them apart that I have been told about, have always failed. Hence the taste test now. I have had several friends have the same experience of peppers with the flavor of a jalapeno, but zero kick.
May as well put ketchup on a taco. Bleecchh!
 
2014-08-10 11:16:01 AM

tzzhc4: pickled jalapeños

[img.fark.net image 250x272]


Ugh.  Yeah, no excuse for that.  Pickled jalapenos have very few uses - they go on pizza and hot dogs.  I can't think of another case where they would be a good idea.  And no, NOT hamburgers, use fresh.
 
2014-08-10 11:17:26 AM

mutterfark: Jimmy's getting angry: mutterfark: Jimmy's getting angry: Make sure you use the "hot variety" jalapenos.

For the love of all that's tasty, THIS. Why do we have to have neutered jalapenos? Years ago I ruined a batch of salsa because I didn't know there were such things as non-hot jalapenos. Now, I always taste a bit of each pepper.

Really? Because I was being facetious.
Those exist? That's an abomination. If you want sweet pepper, just use a bell pepper.
That being said, I use cayenne for heat in guacamole.

They definitely exist(although they may just be accidental), and the various methods of telling them apart that I have been told about, have always failed. Hence the taste test now. I have had several friends have the same experience of peppers with the flavor of a jalapeno, but zero kick.
May as well put ketchup on a taco. Bleecchh!


Any variety of jalapeno can be a scorching hot. The key is very hot weather. The hotter the temperature the better. Don't over water either. Just enough to keep the plants going. Hot peppers love miserable weather.
 
2014-08-10 11:18:11 AM

mutterfark: Jimmy's getting angry: mutterfark: Jimmy's getting angry: Make sure you use the "hot variety" jalapenos.

For the love of all that's tasty, THIS. Why do we have to have neutered jalapenos? Years ago I ruined a batch of salsa because I didn't know there were such things as non-hot jalapenos. Now, I always taste a bit of each pepper.

Really? Because I was being facetious.
Those exist? That's an abomination. If you want sweet pepper, just use a bell pepper.
That being said, I use cayenne for heat in guacamole.

They definitely exist(although they may just be accidental), and the various methods of telling them apart that I have been told about, have always failed. Hence the taste test now. I have had several friends have the same experience of peppers with the flavor of a jalapeno, but zero kick.
May as well put ketchup on a taco. Bleecchh!


Any variety of jalapeno can be scorching hot. The key is very hot weather. The hotter the temperature the better. Don't over water either. Just enough to keep the plants going. Hot peppers love miserable weather.
 
2014-08-10 11:19:26 AM

mutterfark: Jimmy's getting angry: mutterfark: Jimmy's getting angry: Make sure you use the "hot variety" jalapenos.

For the love of all that's tasty, THIS. Why do we have to have neutered jalapenos? Years ago I ruined a batch of salsa because I didn't know there were such things as non-hot jalapenos. Now, I always taste a bit of each pepper.

Really? Because I was being facetious.
Those exist? That's an abomination. If you want sweet pepper, just use a bell pepper.
That being said, I use cayenne for heat in guacamole.

They definitely exist(although they may just be accidental), and the various methods of telling them apart that I have been told about, have always failed. Hence the taste test now. I have had several friends have the same experience of peppers with the flavor of a jalapeno, but zero kick.
May as well put ketchup on a taco. Bleecchh!


They're sometimes accidental, just a natural variation in the pepper.  But they are also intentionally bred to be mild now, blame the jalapeno popper for that abomination.
 
2014-08-10 11:22:20 AM
Fark. It's 10am on a Sunday and now I want some guacamole.
 
2014-08-10 11:27:58 AM

Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Any variety of jalapeno can be scorching hot. The key is very hot weather. The hotter the temperature the better. Don't over water either. Just enough to keep the plants going. Hot peppers love miserable weather


Good to know, thanks. My girlfriend has started gardening, but frankly I've always had a purple thumb. I used to try growing vegetables, but I grew tired of slowly torturing them to death.;p

She's had good luck with the little she's done, so I'll get her to add peppers to the list.

DarkVader: They're sometimes accidental, just a natural variation in the pepper.  But they are also intentionally bred to be mild now, blame the jalapeno popper for that abomination.


My 'not always PC' Hispanic friends call them "white people peppers". ;p
 
2014-08-10 11:28:06 AM

Jimmy's getting angry: Really? Because I was being facetious.
Those exist? That's an abomination. If you want sweet pepper, just use a bell pepper.
That being said, I use cayenne for heat in guacamole.


And put them in the fridge (as well as onions or garlic) for a day or three if you want them to go sweet. This works with Jalapenos or any other pepper just as well. All of the flavor with less heat. Not popular with the scoville  masochists but if you want the flavor that's the way to go.
 
2014-08-10 11:33:11 AM

mutterfark: My 'not always PC' Hispanic friends call them "white people peppers". ;p


Mine too.

But I get that some people don't like heat. I don't like fishy smelling or tasting meals. I like fish but not all of them. I've had some great fish, head on so you knew it was a fish but I've also had some fish that I wouldn't give to my worst (well, second worst anyway) enemy.
 
2014-08-10 11:35:04 AM

JoieD'Zen: I thought all guac was vegan,


Some people put mayo in it to bulk it up.  Yep, that's disgusting.
 
2014-08-10 11:35:12 AM

Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: abhorrent1: WTF is in regular guacamole that's not vegan? Farking stupid.

I'm not vegan and not a big guac fan so I don't pay that much attention to it, but I'm guessing some store bought guacamole may contain animal based gelatin or other animal based additives to act as preservatives and stabilizing agents.

And based on a quick google search, some people add Worchester sauce in their homemade version, which would also not be vegan.


Jeezus, Americans can find a way to ruin any ethnic dish. Worchester sauce? Sour cream? It's a simple snack, leave it alone.
 
2014-08-10 11:37:02 AM
If you're going to hate on a group of people, it helps to be educated enough about them to make cogent points that don't make you look like an ignorant fool.

Is it really so difficult to understand that a lot of foods, even foods that are primarily plant based, might still contain certain ingredients that come from animals (any animals, yes that includes insects). Or is it that you simply don't know that there's a significant difference between vegetarians (generally means you don't eat meat, but other animal products are fine) and vegans (no non-human animal products)? Oh, I get it, you're just too cool to give a crap.


Sorry, I had to take a moment to let my eyes stop rolling.
 
2014-08-10 11:39:19 AM

MrHappyRotter: If you're going to hate on a group of people, it helps to be educated enough about them to make cogent points that don't make you look like an ignorant fool.

Is it really so difficult to understand that a lot of foods, even foods that are primarily plant based, might still contain certain ingredients that come from animals (any animals, yes that includes insects). Or is it that you simply don't know that there's a significant difference between vegetarians (generally means you don't eat meat, but other animal products are fine) and vegans (no non-human animal products)? Oh, I get it, you're just too cool to give a crap.


Sorry, I had to take a moment to let my eyes stop rolling.


The important thing is that you've found a way to feel superior to them.
 
2014-08-10 11:39:42 AM

mutterfark: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Any variety of jalapeno can be scorching hot. The key is very hot weather. The hotter the temperature the better. Don't over water either. Just enough to keep the plants going. Hot peppers love miserable weather

Good to know, thanks. My girlfriend has started gardening, but frankly I've always had a purple thumb. I used to try growing vegetables, but I grew tired of slowly torturing them to death.;p

She's had good luck with the little she's done, so I'll get her to add peppers to the list.

DarkVader: They're sometimes accidental, just a natural variation in the pepper.  But they are also intentionally bred to be mild now, blame the jalapeno popper for that abomination.

My 'not always PC' Hispanic friends call them "white people peppers". ;p


One more key to pepper production. Don't over fertilize. To much nitrogen and you get a big bush with no peppers. A bag of fertilizer will say 20-20-20, 10-10-10 or something similar. The first number is nitrogen. Use it sparingly.
 
2014-08-10 11:41:50 AM

rga184: Rising_Zan_Samurai_Gunman: abhorrent1: WTF is in regular guacamole that's not vegan? Farking stupid.

I'm not vegan and not a big guac fan so I don't pay that much attention to it, but I'm guessing some store bought guacamole may contain animal based gelatin or other animal based additives to act as preservatives and stabilizing agents.

And based on a quick google search, some people add Worchester sauce in their homemade version, which would also not be vegan.

Jeezus, Americans can find a way to ruin any ethnic dish. Worchester sauce? Sour cream? It's a simple snack, leave it alone.


Worchester sauce is common in Mexican kitchens.
 
2014-08-10 11:43:59 AM

Radioactive Ass: mutterfark: My 'not always PC' Hispanic friends call them "white people peppers". ;p

Mine too.

But I get that some people don't like heat. I don't like fishy smelling or tasting meals. I like fish but not all of them. I've had some great fish, head on so you knew it was a fish but I've also had some fish that I wouldn't give to my worst (well, second worst anyway) enemy.


Kids, especially the younger ones usually can't take the heat either, so there always has to be something that's toned down.

Jalapenos are about as hot as I ever go these days. I'll let the teenagers impress each other with their scorched tongues.
 
2014-08-10 11:44:05 AM

DarkVader: mutterfark: Jimmy's getting angry: mutterfark: Jimmy's getting angry: Make sure you use the "hot variety" jalapenos.

For the love of all that's tasty, THIS. Why do we have to have neutered jalapenos? Years ago I ruined a batch of salsa because I didn't know there were such things as non-hot jalapenos. Now, I always taste a bit of each pepper.

Really? Because I was being facetious.
Those exist? That's an abomination. If you want sweet pepper, just use a bell pepper.
That being said, I use cayenne for heat in guacamole.

They definitely exist(although they may just be accidental), and the various methods of telling them apart that I have been told about, have always failed. Hence the taste test now. I have had several friends have the same experience of peppers with the flavor of a jalapeno, but zero kick.
May as well put ketchup on a taco. Bleecchh!

They're sometimes accidental, just a natural variation in the pepper.  But they are also intentionally bred to be mild now, blame the jalapeno popper for that abomination.


I have seen jars of "Non-Hot Jalapeños" at our local Smith's. My question is "Why?".
 
2014-08-10 12:06:44 PM
living in California means we thankfully have avocados for most of the year

Um, as far as I know, avocados are available everywhere year-round now.
 
2014-08-10 12:09:04 PM
I actually do put Japanese powdered fish broth in my guac....
 
2014-08-10 12:10:15 PM
Gah... pickled jalapenos. :| Also, for a little more depth, a pinch of chili powder and powdered garlic per 2 servings does the trick. I personally use fresh garlic, but some people find it overpowering.
 
2014-08-10 12:30:29 PM

Jimmy's getting angry: mutterfark: Jimmy's getting angry: Make sure you use the "hot variety" jalapenos.

For the love of all that's tasty, THIS. Why do we have to have neutered jalapenos? Years ago I ruined a batch of salsa because I didn't know there were such things as non-hot jalapenos. Now, I always taste a bit of each pepper.

Really? Because I was being facetious.
Those exist? That's an abomination. If you want sweet pepper, just use a bell pepper.
That being said, I use cayenne for heat in guacamole.


Yup. Some bastard bred a heat-free version years ago, and now it's hard to find a good jalapeno popper anywhere.
 
2014-08-10 12:33:43 PM

Marisyana: Too late. I live in a very crunchy area of my city and EVERY SINGLE VEGAN broadcasts his/her status. If you don't, enjoy your singularity


This.

Pro-tip to all vegans: If someone asks you if you want to have a hamburger, the correct answer is "no thank you".  After asking a couple times and seeing you eat no meat, dairy, etc, we'll figure it out.  Also acceptable is a simple "I don't eat meat".  That statement will probably keep us from asking you about foods in general because we will realize you have a limited range of culinary preferences.

The moment you loudly and proudly proclaim your veganism, look at me in disgust while I eat, openly criticize what I am eating, or become militant about meat being murder, you are my adversary.  I don't care what you eat, why would you care what I eat?

For those of you who don't act like this, I apologize.  Better have a talk with your contemporaries though, because they are not helping.
 
2014-08-10 12:38:13 PM
 
2014-08-10 12:52:39 PM

megarian: Huh. There really is gluten free toilet bowl cleaner.


Link or it doesn't happen.

/please?
 
2014-08-10 12:57:35 PM

AngryDragon: Marisyana: Too late. I live in a very crunchy area of my city and EVERY SINGLE VEGAN broadcasts his/her status. If you don't, enjoy your singularity

This.

Pro-tip to all vegans: If someone asks you if you want to have a hamburger, the correct answer is "no thank you".  After asking a couple times and seeing you eat no meat, dairy, etc, we'll figure it out.  Also acceptable is a simple "I don't eat meat".  That statement will probably keep us from asking you about foods in general because we will realize you have a limited range of culinary preferences.

The moment you loudly and proudly proclaim your veganism, look at me in disgust while I eat, openly criticize what I am eating, or become militant about meat being murder, you are my adversary.  I don't care what you eat, why would you care what I eat?

For those of you who don't act like this, I apologize.  Better have a talk with your contemporaries though, because they are not helping.


Non-asshole vegans are like non-flaming homosexuals.  You see them every day, but you don't realize it because they look and act just like everyone else.
 
2014-08-10 01:04:05 PM

Mister Peejay: megarian: Huh. There really is gluten free toilet bowl cleaner.

Link or it doesn't happen.

/please?


img.photobucket.com

And I just did a google search. There's quite a few of them. So that's nice. I'm glad my toilet won't get wheat belly.
 
2014-08-10 01:06:47 PM
That was a craptastic picture. Here:

img.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-10 01:15:43 PM

megarian: Huh. There really is gluten free toilet bowl cleaner.


Yep. I work across the street from a "gluten free" shop. They sell stamps, so I go in every so often. You can't believe the products that have jumped on that "gluten free" slogan. Gluten-free pet food. Gluten-free household cleaners. Gluten-free children's building blocks. Gluten-free Halloween toys, not the candy, decorations.

Frankly, I thought it was absurd. I asked a young shopper what was so attractive about gluten-free. She said, "It's not GMO based."
 
2014-08-10 01:16:24 PM

DarkVader: tzzhc4: pickled jalapeños

[img.fark.net image 250x272]

Ugh.  Yeah, no excuse for that.  Pickled jalapenos have very few uses - they go on pizza and hot dogs.  I can't think of another case where they would be a good idea.  And no, NOT hamburgers, use fresh.


Nachos and cheese fries are acceptable uses.
 
2014-08-10 01:18:15 PM
I do not like green eggs and ham
I do not like them Sam-I-am

And calling them guacamole doesn't help either because I think guacamole is a waste of perfectly good avocados.
 
2014-08-10 01:20:28 PM

Delay: megarian: Huh. There really is gluten free toilet bowl cleaner.

Yep. I work across the street from a "gluten free" shop. They sell stamps, so I go in every so often. You can't believe the products that have jumped on that "gluten free" slogan. Gluten-free pet food. Gluten-free household cleaners. Gluten-free children's building blocks. Gluten-free Halloween toys, not the candy, decorations.

Frankly, I thought it was absurd. I asked a young shopper what was so attractive about gluten-free. She said, "It's not GMO based."


Ugh. The GMO people.

I mean, alright I understand people have serious issues with gluten. And it can be awful for them. But stamps? You don't even have to lick stamps anymore (unless you want to for funsies). I do understand some cleaning products for people with extreme sensitivity. Alright. That's fine.

But I really, really do not understand the toilet bowl cleaner.
 
2014-08-10 01:33:26 PM

Ima4nic8or: I saw a similarly funny vegan claim a few weeks ago when my vagina and I were visiting her parents in Weed, CA.  I decided to pick up a bottle of local beer called Lumerian Ale.  After marveling at the hippy dippy story on the label about beings made of light, called lumerians, that are rumored to inhabit Mt. Shasta I saw a few words at the bottle of the label that make me break down laughing: "vegan" and something along the lines of "no animal testing was performed in the making of this product."  Of course we all know that most beer is full of meat products and has to be tested on fluffy bunnies before being sold.


Wow, you are farking dumb.
 
2014-08-10 01:35:29 PM

mutterfark: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Any variety of jalapeno can be scorching hot. The key is very hot weather. The hotter the temperature the better. Don't over water either. Just enough to keep the plants going. Hot peppers love miserable weather

Good to know, thanks. My girlfriend has started gardening, but frankly I've always had a purple thumb. I used to try growing vegetables, but I grew tired of slowly torturing them to death.;p

She's had good luck with the little she's done, so I'll get her to add peppers to the list.

DarkVader: They're sometimes accidental, just a natural variation in the pepper.  But they are also intentionally bred to be mild now, blame the jalapeno popper for that abomination.

My 'not always PC' Hispanic friends call them "white people peppers". ;p


i grew some "neutered" jalapenos once. on purpose because I just wanted to see what the deal was. can't remember the variety name but it said on the plant tag something like tastes like a jalapeno without the heat. so make sure you don't get those. I also grew regular thai peppers, those are always hot, but hard to roast when you want that roasted jalapeno flavor.
 
2014-08-10 01:41:00 PM
Technically regular guacamole doesn't have animal products, but it's just not the same if you aren't torturing a horse to death while you make it. That's how we always do it at my place, and trust me, we make the best guacamole you've ever tasted.
 
2014-08-10 01:48:03 PM

Ima4nic8or: I saw a similarly funny vegan claim a few weeks ago when my vagina and I were visiting her parents in Weed, CA.  I decided to pick up a bottle of local beer called Lumerian Ale.  After marveling at the hippy dippy story on the label about beings made of light, called lumerians, that are rumored to inhabit Mt. Shasta I saw a few words at the bottle of the label that make me break down laughing: "vegan" and something along the lines of "no animal testing was performed in the making of this product."  Of course we all know that most beer is full of meat products and has to be tested on fluffy bunnies before being sold.


It's Lemurian. There is a really fun mountain bike event every year with the same name. The legend goes way back before any dippy hippies were around.

And if you couldn't detect the tongue-in-cheek tone of the label, either you're not very bright, or just not trying.
 
2014-08-10 01:53:16 PM
Simplest Guacamole:
Mashed Avocado
Add chunky picante sauce to taste
 
2014-08-10 02:07:02 PM

Mudboy: Simplest Guacamole:
Mashed Avocado
Add chunky picante sauce to taste



I used to do this but IMHO, this waters it down a bit too much.  Try some fresh pico de gallo which has the same veggies but less tomato sauce/paste/what-have-you.
 
2014-08-10 02:09:11 PM

MrEricSir: Technically regular guacamole doesn't have animal products, but it's just not the same if you aren't torturing a horse to death while you make it. That's how we always do it at my place, and trust me, we make the best guacamole you've ever tasted.


I use the blood of baby endangered animals* (which I normally save for The Blood God, but we all know blood for The Blood God has a short shelf life). And a little hot sauce, but that's redundant because I put hot sauce on everything.

*only the cute ones worth saving. No naked mole rats or something ridiculous.
 
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