If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(The American Prospect)   Rick Perry, who in 2012 was the gun-totin'-est, God-fearin'-est candidate in the bunch, might be the most sober, responsible Republican candidate in 2016 Be afraid, very afraid   (prospect.org) divider line 140
    More: Interesting, GOP, action on climate change, political divisions  
•       •       •

1763 clicks; posted to Politics » on 09 Aug 2014 at 3:15 PM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



140 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-08-09 01:11:35 PM  
Sorry, Ricky, you're not fooling anyone with those sharp new glasses.
 
2014-08-09 01:51:00 PM  
Huckabee and RAND PAUL11!1!! both have flashes of lucidity at rates that seem comparable to Santorum's; and Chris Christie is looking more sober and responsible than any of them. (Bridgegate? Well, criminally responsible is a kind of responsible....) Rob Portman's name has also been discussed.
 
2014-08-09 01:59:58 PM  
I'm hoping if an idiot like that ends up in charge of the US, it'll really kick the Texas secessionist movement into gear.
 
2014-08-09 02:26:30 PM  
He wears horned-rimmed glasses, so he has to be smart. And he wears shoes. Shoes mean schoolin'.
 
2014-08-09 03:22:25 PM  
Michele Bachmann would like a word.
 
2014-08-09 03:24:06 PM  
He should just announce his candidacy at the family ranch, Riverhead.

Oh, it's not called Riverhead? So what's it called?

(Stunned silence)

Um, better not then.
 
2014-08-09 03:28:03 PM  
s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-08-09 03:30:38 PM  

Sirsky: Michele Bachmann would like a word.


In a bizarro, evil world where we would have to choose between Bachmann and Perry, I'd go with Perry any day.

Perry is just lawful evil. Michele Bachmann is insane.
 
2014-08-09 03:32:18 PM  

Demetrius: Sorry, Ricky, you're not fooling anyone with those sharp new glasses.


www.tylershores.com
 
2014-08-09 03:32:44 PM  
Lol like republicans have a chance in national elections ever again
 
2014-08-09 03:33:50 PM  

DeaH: He wears horned-rimmed glasses, so he has to be smart. And he wears shoes. Shoes mean schoolin'.


like these?

flipflopswholesale.org
 
2014-08-09 03:39:50 PM  
I'm really trying to picture the R debates, and I can't see how they'll be any better than last time.  And then I try to imagine any of the current batch of R's standing next to Hillary in a debate - they don't have a prayer.
 
2014-08-09 03:40:39 PM  
I'm pretty sure he will go down in flames if he tries.
 
2014-08-09 03:41:18 PM  

bujin: I'm really trying to picture the R debates, and I can't see how they'll be any better than last time.  And then I try to imagine any of the current batch of R's standing next to Hillary in a debate - they don't have a prayer.


Any Presidential challenger to Mrs. Clinton need only close their debate with the statement "Are you Benghazi now than you were four years ago?"
 
2014-08-09 03:44:34 PM  

Dimensio: bujin: I'm really trying to picture the R debates, and I can't see how they'll be any better than last time.  And then I try to imagine any of the current batch of R's standing next to Hillary in a debate - they don't have a prayer.

Any Presidential challenger to Mrs. Clinton need only close their debate with the statement "Are you Benghazi now than you were four years ago?"


Their convention is going to be an alternating montage of child immigrants and Bowe Bergdahl set to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.
 
2014-08-09 03:44:36 PM  

Dimensio: Any Presidential challenger to Mrs. Clinton need only close their debate with the statement "Are you Benghazi now than you were four years ago?"


You have to work more derp in there.

"Did you allow Benghazi to happen to distract the American people from the socialist agenda your gay evolutionist masters are trying to foist on America at the behest of the UN?
 
2014-08-09 03:45:08 PM  
He's no Reagan, but at least he looks the part.

img.fark.net

/I don't mind an evil president so long as he has a sense of purpose.
 
2014-08-09 03:48:34 PM  

bujin: I'm really trying to picture the R debates, and I can't see how they'll be any better than last time.  And then I try to imagine any of the current batch of R's standing next to Hillary in a debate - they don't have a prayer.


I see Rafael Cruz debating Perry into a mumbling mass of gelatinous blubbering idiocy quickly.

www.rawstory.com

Followed rapidly by reducing his fellow unnatural Cuban-American Marco Rubio to his patented deer-in-the-headlights look.

www.nationalmemo.com

And tying up the GOP nomination by Super Tuesday. Sweet dreams!
 
2014-08-09 03:48:40 PM  

Dimensio: bujin: I'm really trying to picture the R debates, and I can't see how they'll be any better than last time.  And then I try to imagine any of the current batch of R's standing next to Hillary in a debate - they don't have a prayer.

Any Presidential challenger to Mrs. Clinton need only close their debate with the statement "Are you Benghazi now than you were four years ago?"


Nah, they've hit her as hard on Benghazi as they can, and she's still mopping up the floor against all potential challengers.  That well has gone dry.
 
2014-08-09 03:50:23 PM  

Stone Meadow: bujin: I'm really trying to picture the R debates, and I can't see how they'll be any better than last time.  And then I try to imagine any of the current batch of R's standing next to Hillary in a debate - they don't have a prayer.

I see Rafael Cruz debating Perry into a mumbling mass of gelatinous blubbering idiocy quickly.

[www.rawstory.com image 615x345]

Followed rapidly by reducing his fellow unnatural Cuban-American Marco Rubio to his patented deer-in-the-headlights look.

[www.nationalmemo.com image 500x333]

And tying up the GOP nomination by Super Tuesday. Sweet dreams!


Maybe, because the base wants the most negative, red-meat-thrower possible.  But my money's on Rand getting the nomination.  Whichever it is, they're getting beat like a rented mule.
 
2014-08-09 03:51:34 PM  
It'll be rMoney again.  He'll stand up and say "I warned you 8 years ago and you didn't listen...I warned you FOUR years ago and you still didn't listen." until he's red in the face.  And people will buy it.
 
2014-08-09 03:52:23 PM  

way south: He's no Reagan, but at least he looks the part.



/I don't mind an evil president so long as he has a sense of purpose.


Coming to theaters in 2016, Rick Perry is "Full Metal Jackass."
 
2014-08-09 03:53:20 PM  
"Yee-praiseJeebus-Haw!!!"

media.giphy.com
 
2014-08-09 04:04:18 PM  

bujin: Stone Meadow: bujin: I'm really trying to picture the R debates, and I can't see how they'll be any better than last time.  And then I try to imagine any of the current batch of R's standing next to Hillary in a debate - they don't have a prayer.

I see Rafael Cruz ... tying up the GOP nomination by Super Tuesday. Sweet dreams!

Maybe, because the base wants the most negative, red-meat-thrower possible.  But my money's on Rand getting the nomination.  Whichever it is, they're getting beat like a rented mule.


LOL...you could be right. Paul is polling well. Almost as well as Mike Huckabee, while Cruz is still below the radar horizon in some national GOP polls. Still, he's a tiger and will not hesitate to go down and dirty if he actually throws in for '16.

OTOH, he might also be smart enough to sit this one out, hoping to become the heir-apparent when Hillary wipes the floor with the "last man standing" GOP nominee. I'm thinking "Reagan after Ford lost to Carter" heir apparent.
 
2014-08-09 04:12:57 PM  
Yeah Huckabee.. go with evangelical Santorum. .
 
2014-08-09 04:16:34 PM  
Well, to be fair, the Dems don't have anyone I'm all that excited about.  Between Perry and Clinton, I'd take a potted rutabega.
 
2014-08-09 04:17:17 PM  

worlddan: DeaH: He wears horned-rimmed glasses, so he has to be smart. And he wears shoes. Shoes mean schoolin'.

like these?

[flipflopswholesale.org image 850x850]


Love mine

Sometimes a guy just likes to feel pretty.
 
2014-08-09 04:19:30 PM  

Gergesa: I'm pretty sure he will go down in flames if he tries.


Coming out party?

img.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-09 04:21:34 PM  

fifthhorseman: Well, to be fair, the Dems don't have anyone I'm all that excited about.  Between Perry and Clinton, I'd take a potted rutabega.


Oh, C'mon. It's obvious, Turd Sandwich all the way!
dryislandcastaways.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-08-09 04:35:52 PM  

Gergesa: I'm pretty sure he will go down in flames if he tries.


Embers, maybe.
 
2014-08-09 04:39:00 PM  

fifthhorseman: Well, to be fair, the Dems don't have anyone I'm all that excited about.  Between Perry and Clinton, I'd take a potted rutabega.


I've never liked Hillary Clinton much, but if you wouldn't choose her for president over Rick Perry in a hot second, then you're a bit tetched.
 
2014-08-09 04:39:17 PM  

bujin: Dimensio: bujin: I'm really trying to picture the R debates, and I can't see how they'll be any better than last time.  And then I try to imagine any of the current batch of R's standing next to Hillary in a debate - they don't have a prayer.

Any Presidential challenger to Mrs. Clinton need only close their debate with the statement "Are you Benghazi now than you were four years ago?"

Nah, they've hit her as hard on Benghazi as they can, and she's still mopping up the floor against all potential challengers.  That well has gone dry.


If the well goes dry, that just means they have to dig deeper in to the conspiracy!
 
2014-08-09 04:40:35 PM  
It's funny what lessons they've learned.  Rick Perry learned the base boos gay soldiers, people dying from lack of health care, and any compassion towards illegal immigrants.  So now he's the most anti-immigrant hardass there is!  Look at him cruising the waterways on a gunboat to discourage those foreign hordes!  Watch as he calls the national guard out to act as daycare at the border!

Rand Paul learned to embrace the cognitive dissonance.  He'll give condescending speeches saying that minorities have a reason to flee the GOP - but not him!  Then he'll go on to give speeches to his base supporting every racist and xenophobic policy the minorities have been repulsed by.  He can't fully support the civil rights act of '64; but don't you dare call him against it!

Ted Cruz seems to think the GOP is enamored with the biggest dick they can find.
 
2014-08-09 04:43:10 PM  
So he's the skinniest kid at fat camp
 
2014-08-09 04:43:25 PM  

fifthhorseman: Between Perry and Clinton, I'd take a potted rutabega.


RAND PAUL!
 
2014-08-09 04:54:45 PM  

serial_crusher: I'm hoping if an idiot like that ends up in charge of the US, it'll really kick the Texas secessionist EXPULSIONIST movement into gear.


Is that a wyrd?
 
2014-08-09 04:57:04 PM  

DeaH: He wears horned-rimmed glasses, so he has to be smart. And he wears shoes. Shoes mean schoolin'.


Shoes mean schoolin'? Doesn't have that alliterative hook. Should it instead be "shoes mean shulin'"?

Wait. "Shul"? That's a Yiddish word for school!

IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!

//If it makes sense to you, please tell me
 
2014-08-09 04:57:50 PM  
You forgot rootin'-tootin'est.
 
2014-08-09 04:58:08 PM  

Phil McKraken: serial_crusher: I'm hoping if an idiot like that ends up in charge of the US, it'll really kick the Texas secessionist EXPULSIONIST movement into gear.

Is that a wyrd?


You are infringing on my rights as a MALE!
 
2014-08-09 04:59:36 PM  

bujin:    That well has gone dry.


around lunch time fox news was ranting about the IRS scandal. and how obama personally directed it. there is no well to dry for them.
 
2014-08-09 05:01:16 PM  
Rick Perry Texas A&M '72 Killed in Vietnam by his own troops 
1.bp.blogspot.com

His degree is in Animal Husbandry, I'm pretty sure he took his finals on Wii

1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-09 05:02:10 PM  
And apparently, Rick Perry wants to be the reasonable, business-minded conservative who knows how to get things done. It actually doesn't sound that crazy.

maybe not crazy but since he hasn't got shiat done it sounds illogical.
 
2014-08-09 05:10:42 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: heir convention is going to be an alternating montage of child immigrants and Bowe Bergdahl set to Beethoven's Ninth Symphony.


encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com
 
2014-08-09 05:14:36 PM  
"I'M the sanest!"
"No,you are not. I am"
"Both of you nuts are nuts. I'm the sanest person here"
"I have HAD it with the mutherfarking crazies in this mutherfarking debate!"
Samuel L. Jackson. POTAW.
President of the Ass Whippin'.
 
2014-08-09 05:15:53 PM  
The only thing I enjoy about the Republican primaries is God yanking their chains by telling at least four of them he wants them to run.
 
2014-08-09 05:16:04 PM  

Stone Meadow: Cruz is still below the radar horizon in some national GOP polls. Still, he's a tiger and will not hesitate to go down and dirty if he actually throws in for '16.


FTFY
 
2014-08-09 05:16:48 PM  
All I remember from his last go-round was not being able to name the three agencies he'd eliminate, being outraged that soldiers would be punished for pissing on corpses and not being man enough to back up his claims about Romney with $10000 cold cash. So, essentially the three things he proved were he's 1) galacticallly stupid 2) angrily ignorant 3) a lying coward. That ticks all the boxes: the perfect Republican
 
2014-08-09 05:18:18 PM  
Or we could elect another candidate with the best bumper sticker.

HOPE!!
 
2014-08-09 05:20:42 PM  

abb3w: Huckabee and RAND PAUL11!1!! both have flashes of lucidity at rates that seem comparable to Santorum's; and Chris Christie is looking more sober and responsible than any of them. (Bridgegate? Well, criminally responsible is a kind of responsible....) Rob Portman's name has also been discussed.


Chris Christie is an asshole, but he's not insane. It's probably his biggest disadvantage going into a primary.
 
2014-08-09 05:27:27 PM  

The_Forensicator: Or we could elect another candidate with the best bumper sticker.

HOPE!!


Still bummed that McCain/Palin lost eh?
 
Displayed 50 of 140 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report