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(When On Earth)   If you can't get laid on one of these beaches there's really no hope for you   (whenonearth.net ) divider line
    More: Spiffy, bright green  
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15167 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Aug 2014 at 8:47 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-09 03:35:00 AM  
Venice beach isn't even the nicest beaches in the immediate area
 
2014-08-09 08:53:28 AM  
The woodlawn beach in Buffalo didn't make the list?
 
2014-08-09 08:54:01 AM  
But I still have to bring my own girl?

Leaves, disappointed
 
2014-08-09 08:55:37 AM  
looks li a piece of advertising to me
 
2014-08-09 08:57:00 AM  
What. Not a slide. I want nothing to do with that list then.
 
2014-08-09 08:58:15 AM  
I didn't realize subby's mom's kitchen table was a beach.
 
2014-08-09 08:58:52 AM  
Got laid on the beach once.

www.penang-vacations.com
 
2014-08-09 08:59:50 AM  
challengeaccepted.jpg
 
2014-08-09 09:02:19 AM  

Lokkii: But I still have to bring my own girl?

Leaves, disappointed


Not only that, but what if you show up and you're a fat disgusting slob with bad body odor.

Is there no hope for fat disgusting slobs with bad body odor to get laid even on one of the world's most romantic beaches?
 
2014-08-09 09:04:38 AM  

johnryan51: The woodlawn beach in Buffalo didn't make the list?


Nothing gets by you.
 
2014-08-09 09:05:17 AM  
Reads like a middle school project.
 
2014-08-09 09:09:41 AM  

strangeluck: Lokkii: But I still have to bring my own girl?

Leaves, disappointed

Not only that, but what if you show up and you're a fat disgusting slob with bad body odor.

Is there no hope for fat disgusting slobs with bad body odor to get laid even on one of the world's most romantic beaches?


Untrue, if you can afford to travel to these beaches, you can afford to buy a trophy wife/escort.

True story, I was checking out a young topless lady on the beach in Turks and Cacaos, when I realized the guy she was cavorting with was a middle aged obese German dude.  I can only assume he brought her along, as I didn't see any place to rent her.
 
2014-08-09 09:11:08 AM  
Oh yeah, subby.  Well, getting laid isn't what I like best about a beach.  I like a nice, isolated beach with a bunch of annoying wankers mucking it up with their boogie boards and their mating rituals.  Therefore, the best beach in the world is one I won't identify.
 
2014-08-09 09:13:03 AM  

Prey4reign: Oh yeah, subby.  Well, getting laid isn't what I like best about a beach.  I like a nice, isolated beach with without a bunch of annoying wankers mucking it up with their boogie boards and their mating rituals.  Therefore, the best beach in the world is one I won't identify.


FTFM
 
2014-08-09 09:18:26 AM  

Ker_Thwap: True story, I was checking out a young topless lady on the beach in Turks and Cacaos, when I realized the guy she was cavorting with was a middle aged obese German dude.  I can only assume he brought her along, as I didn't see any place to rent her.


Chalkidiki, Greece.  Premier destination for some of the wealthiest Eastern Europeans, and the beach looked like a Bond movie cast screening with all the overweight hairy villains and hot, tanned, topless womens.

Angra Dos Reis lives up to its name in splendor - it translates to "King's Cove."

[Bob'squickguidetotheapostrophe.jpg]
 
2014-08-09 09:21:21 AM  

Podmore: Venice beach isn't even the nicest beaches in the immediate area


dude, when on earth is the worst site for any information regarding travel. It even says in another article that here in Sweden we drink our coffee with cheese in it. Finnish cheese, at that.
 
2014-08-09 09:21:25 AM  
Venice. Beach.

That has to be a joke.
 
2014-08-09 09:23:08 AM  

Prey4reign: I like a nice, isolated beach with a bunch of annoying wankers mucking it up with their boogie boards and their mating rituals.  Therefore, the best beach in the world is one I won't identify.


www.hawaiianphotos.net

1. The top of the path that leads to it is tucked away in a hidden location
2. The path gets somewhat steep and tricky in spots leading down the cliff ledge, causing most tourists to turn around.
3. Even one local told me "I never figured out how to get there." Though I imagine he might have been lying.
 
2014-08-09 09:23:47 AM  
Guess I won't be going to Tahiti.

/did not know only a couple of beaches there are accessible
//all privately-owned sounds like gringolandia
 
2014-08-09 09:24:39 AM  
Depends. Do I have to go with my wife or can I take a girlfriend?
 
2014-08-09 09:27:25 AM  
The appeal of Brazilian beaches cooled for me significantly when I read about the skyrocketing levels of fecal coliform bacteria in the waters after the world cup.

Apparently Brazil doesn't bother treating its raw sewage, and just discharges it into the ocean instead.

No thanks.
 
2014-08-09 09:29:43 AM  
According to the classic song, this beach is legendary, even enough to have nightclubs in America named after it. It's one of Rio's historical hotspots for visitors and is known for its beautiful sunbathers, as well as its parties and night life.

According to the "classic" song, the Copacabana is the hottest spot north of Havana. Which Rio de Janeiro isn't.
 
2014-08-09 09:33:21 AM  
I have a suspicion that most of those pictures were taken in the off season.
 
2014-08-09 09:33:25 AM  

Hoopy Frood: According to the classic song, this beach is legendary, even enough to have nightclubs in America named after it. It's one of Rio's historical hotspots for visitors and is known for its beautiful sunbathers, as well as its parties and night life.

According to the "classic" song, the Copacabana is the hottest spot north of Havana. Which Rio de Janeiro isn't.


No, but the nightclub that bears its name in the song is.
 
2014-08-09 09:34:02 AM  
List fail. Doesn't have Ocean City, MD, and the coolest bar ever: Seacrets.
 
2014-08-09 09:37:55 AM  

Ker_Thwap: strangeluck: Lokkii: But I still have to bring my own girl?

Leaves, disappointed

Not only that, but what if you show up and you're a fat disgusting slob with bad body odor.

Is there no hope for fat disgusting slobs with bad body odor to get laid even on one of the world's most romantic beaches?

Untrue, if you can afford to travel to these beaches, you can afford to buy a trophy wife/escort.

True story, I was checking out a young topless lady on the beach in Turks and Cacaos, when I realized the guy she was cavorting with was a middle aged obese German dude.  I can only assume he brought her along, as I didn't see any place to rent her.


Huh.  If I can afford to travel to Miami ($250 plane ticket) or LA ($350 plane ticket), I can afford a trophy wife?  I don't think you understand the concept of 'trophy wife'.
 
2014-08-09 09:40:56 AM  

RickN99: Ker_Thwap: strangeluck: Lokkii: But I still have to bring my own girl?

Leaves, disappointed

Not only that, but what if you show up and you're a fat disgusting slob with bad body odor.

Is there no hope for fat disgusting slobs with bad body odor to get laid even on one of the world's most romantic beaches?

Untrue, if you can afford to travel to these beaches, you can afford to buy a trophy wife/escort.

True story, I was checking out a young topless lady on the beach in Turks and Cacaos, when I realized the guy she was cavorting with was a middle aged obese German dude.  I can only assume he brought her along, as I didn't see any place to rent her.

Huh.  If I can afford to travel to Miami ($250 plane ticket) or LA ($350 plane ticket), I can afford a trophy wife?  I don't think you understand the concept of 'trophy wife'.


You think I read the article?  I assumed they were exotic beaches scattered across the world, not freaking Venice beach.
 
2014-08-09 09:46:03 AM  
Rocky River Beach missing.
 
2014-08-09 09:46:24 AM  
Venice Beach... LMFAO.
 
2014-08-09 09:59:52 AM  

Hoopy Frood: According to the classic song, this beach is legendary, even enough to have nightclubs in America named after it. It's one of Rio's historical hotspots for visitors and is known for its beautiful sunbathers, as well as its parties and night life.

According to the "classic" song, the Copacabana is the hottest spot north of Havana. Which Rio de Janeiro isn't.


The classic song about guys lusting for a thirteen year-old ?
 
2014-08-09 10:00:23 AM  

Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Hoopy Frood: According to the classic song, this beach is legendary, even enough to have nightclubs in America named after it. It's one of Rio's historical hotspots for visitors and is known for its beautiful sunbathers, as well as its parties and night life.

According to the "classic" song, the Copacabana is the hottest spot north of Havana. Which Rio de Janeiro isn't.

The classic song about guys lusting for a thirteen year-old ?


Sweet Caroline?
 
2014-08-09 10:07:46 AM  

Ker_Thwap: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Hoopy Frood: According to the classic song, this beach is legendary, even enough to have nightclubs in America named after it. It's one of Rio's historical hotspots for visitors and is known for its beautiful sunbathers, as well as its parties and night life.

According to the "classic" song, the Copacabana is the hottest spot north of Havana. Which Rio de Janeiro isn't.

The classic song about guys lusting for a thirteen year-old ?

Sweet Caroline?


I might be mistaken but I thought he was referencing The Girl from Impenda. It was inspired by a teenager.
 
2014-08-09 10:12:21 AM  

Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Ker_Thwap: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Hoopy Frood: According to the classic song, this beach is legendary, even enough to have nightclubs in America named after it. It's one of Rio's historical hotspots for visitors and is known for its beautiful sunbathers, as well as its parties and night life.

According to the "classic" song, the Copacabana is the hottest spot north of Havana. Which Rio de Janeiro isn't.

The classic song about guys lusting for a thirteen year-old ?

Sweet Caroline?

I might be mistaken but I thought he was referencing The Girl from Impenda. It was inspired by a teenager.


Yeah, sadly there are a few too many classic songs inspired by underage girls.
 
2014-08-09 10:14:36 AM  

Ker_Thwap: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Ker_Thwap: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Hoopy Frood: According to the classic song, this beach is legendary, even enough to have nightclubs in America named after it. It's one of Rio's historical hotspots for visitors and is known for its beautiful sunbathers, as well as its parties and night life.

According to the "classic" song, the Copacabana is the hottest spot north of Havana. Which Rio de Janeiro isn't.

The classic song about guys lusting for a thirteen year-old ?

Sweet Caroline?

I might be mistaken but I thought he was referencing The Girl from Impenda. It was inspired by a teenager.

Yeah, sadly there are a few too many classic songs inspired by underage girls.


Ain't that the truth brother.
 
2014-08-09 10:23:24 AM  

WinoRhino: Prey4reign: I like a nice, isolated beach with a bunch of annoying wankers mucking it up with their boogie boards and their mating rituals.  Therefore, the best beach in the world is one I won't identify.

[www.hawaiianphotos.net image 620x418]

1. The top of the path that leads to it is tucked away in a hidden location
2. The path gets somewhat steep and tricky in spots leading down the cliff ledge, causing most tourists to turn around.
3. Even one local told me "I never figured out how to get there." Though I imagine he might have been lying.


Looks like up from Tunnels
 
2014-08-09 10:23:29 AM  

RickN99: Ker_Thwap: strangeluck: Lokkii: But I still have to bring my own girl?

Leaves, disappointed

Not only that, but what if you show up and you're a fat disgusting slob with bad body odor.

Is there no hope for fat disgusting slobs with bad body odor to get laid even on one of the world's most romantic beaches?

Untrue, if you can afford to travel to these beaches, you can afford to buy a trophy wife/escort.

True story, I was checking out a young topless lady on the beach in Turks and Cacaos, when I realized the guy she was cavorting with was a middle aged obese German dude.  I can only assume he brought her along, as I didn't see any place to rent her.

Huh.  If I can afford to travel to Miami ($250 plane ticket) or LA ($350 plane ticket), I can afford a trophy wife?  I don't think you understand the concept of 'trophy wife'.


therealrevo.com
 
2014-08-09 10:24:48 AM  

abhorrent1: Depends. Do I have to go with my wife or can I take a girlfriend?

 
2014-08-09 10:33:03 AM  
Regarding # 13: Depends on where on the island you travel. It was used for decades as a naval gunnery practice range. A large section of the island has a festive selection of unexploded ordnance, for you treasure hunters out there.
 
2014-08-09 10:34:08 AM  
Ker_Thwap:

I might be mistaken but I thought he was referencing The Girl from Impenda. It was inspired by a teenager.

Yeah, sadly there are a few too many classic songs inspired by underage girls.


No, there are too few underage girls willing to inspire songs

Is that chair for me? I'll just take a seat
 
2014-08-09 10:34:59 AM  

Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Ker_Thwap: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Hoopy Frood: According to the classic song, this beach is legendary, even enough to have nightclubs in America named after it. It's one of Rio's historical hotspots for visitors and is known for its beautiful sunbathers, as well as its parties and night life.

According to the "classic" song, the Copacabana is the hottest spot north of Havana. Which Rio de Janeiro isn't.

The classic song about guys lusting for a thirteen year-old ?

Sweet Caroline?

I might be mistaken but I thought he was referencing The Girl from Impenda. It was inspired by a teenager.


Ipanema.
 
2014-08-09 10:36:28 AM  

cwheelie: Ker_Thwap:

I might be mistaken but I thought he was referencing The Girl from Impenda. It was inspired by a teenager.

Yeah, sadly there are a few too many classic songs inspired by underage girls.

No, there are too few underage girls willing to inspire songs

Is that chair for me? I'll just take a seat


Looking is free. Touching thou costs you twenty years*


* Unless your Ted Nugent.
 
2014-08-09 10:37:48 AM  

brimed03: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Ker_Thwap: Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: Hoopy Frood: According to the classic song, this beach is legendary, even enough to have nightclubs in America named after it. It's one of Rio's historical hotspots for visitors and is known for its beautiful sunbathers, as well as its parties and night life.

According to the "classic" song, the Copacabana is the hottest spot north of Havana. Which Rio de Janeiro isn't.

The classic song about guys lusting for a thirteen year-old ?

Sweet Caroline?

I might be mistaken but I thought he was referencing The Girl from Impenda. It was inspired by a teenager.

Ipanema.


My bad.
 
2014-08-09 10:54:43 AM  
Has anyone made fun of Venice beach yet?
 
2014-08-09 10:59:22 AM  

zulius: Has anyone made fun of Venice beach yet?


Only the people who have been there.
 
2014-08-09 10:59:51 AM  

WinoRhino: Hoopy Frood: According to the classic song, this beach is legendary, even enough to have nightclubs in America named after it. It's one of Rio's historical hotspots for visitors and is known for its beautiful sunbathers, as well as its parties and night life.

According to the "classic" song, the Copacabana is the hottest spot north of Havana. Which Rio de Janeiro isn't.

No, but the nightclub that bears its name in the song is.


But the beach isn't mentioned in the song, and that's the claim as written. The song doesn't mention America either. Maybe it's the club in New York, maybe it isn't, he just indicates it's just somewhere north of Havana. Point being, we're dealing with someone here who's overanxious to drop a Barry Manilow reference and flubs it.
 
2014-08-09 11:09:20 AM  

Hoopy Frood: But the beach isn't mentioned in the song, and that's the claim as written. The song doesn't mention America either. Maybe it's the club in New York, maybe it isn't, he just indicates it's just somewhere north of Havana. Point being, we're dealing with someone here who's overanxious to drop a Barry Manilow reference and flubs it.


Where's that Manilow guy from, anyway?
 
2014-08-09 11:24:45 AM  

gunsmack: Regarding # 13: Depends on where on the island you travel. It was used for decades as a naval gunnery practice range. A large section of the island has a festive selection of unexploded ordnance, for you treasure hunters out there.


Yup. Explains the "walk a mile or two" without seeing anyone.


/ headed to Bikini Atoll for that island vacay glow.
 
2014-08-09 11:40:43 AM  
It's been said there are Mountain people and Water people. Count me among the former. I just can't see the point of a beach that looks like the city.

i.dailymail.co.uk
 
2014-08-09 11:42:37 AM  

Land_of_the_Magic_Dragon: cwheelie: Ker_Thwap:

I might be mistaken but I thought he was referencing The Girl from Impenda. It was inspired by a teenager.

Yeah, sadly there are a few too many classic songs inspired by underage girls.

No, there are too few underage girls willing to inspire songs

Is that chair for me? I'll just take a seat

Looking is free. Touching thou costs you twenty years*


* Unless your Ted Nugent.


Or Jeffrey Epstein.
 
2014-08-09 11:48:18 AM  

strangeluck: Lokkii: But I still have to bring my own girl?

Leaves, disappointed

Not only that, but what if you show up and you're a fat disgusting slob with bad body odor.

Is there no hope for fat disgusting slobs with bad body odor to get laid even on one of the world's most romantic beaches?


Depends. Are they rich?
 
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