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(Time)   I don't want to live on this planet anymore   (time.com) divider line 104
    More: Stupid, Internet Explorer  
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12623 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 09 Aug 2014 at 12:00 AM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



104 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-08 10:18:21 PM  
"Who's the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him buys the book?"
 
2014-08-08 10:52:27 PM  
I just threw up in my mouth a little

/who was the f*cktard who decided this drove of attention whores should be celebrities?
 
2014-08-09 12:08:17 AM  
I do NOT want to see the back cover. No sir.
 
2014-08-09 12:08:20 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I just threw up in my mouth a little

/who was the f*cktard who decided this drove of attention whores should be celebrities?


Dissatisfied Housewives of America, LLC.
 
2014-08-09 12:11:10 AM  
Sad thing, this woman makes more in a month than most of us farkers in a year.
 
2014-08-09 12:11:14 AM  
I saw the headline of this story for about 5 seconds and I ran away. The submitter should be killed along with everyone named kardashian.
 
2014-08-09 12:13:16 AM  
"My name is Frank. That's not important. The important question is: who are you? America has become a cruel and vicious place. We reward the shallowest, the dumbest, the meanest and the loudest. We no longer have any common sense of decency. No sense of shame. There is no right and wrong. The worst qualities in people are looked up to and celebrated. Lying and spreading fear is fine as long as you make money doing it. We've become a nation of slogan-saying, bile-spewing hatemongers. We've lost our kindness. We've lost our soul. What have we become? We take the weakest in our society, we hold them up to be ridiculed, laughed at for our sport and entertainment. Laughed at to the point, where they would literally rather kill themselves than live with us anymore."
 
2014-08-09 12:16:13 AM  
We can only hope that every copy is possessed by a demon to drag anyone that opens the book directly into the pits of Hell.
 
2014-08-09 12:17:38 AM  
bulok: Sad thing, this woman makes more in a month day  than most of us farkers in a year.

Ftfy
 
2014-08-09 12:22:35 AM  
Either meritocracy is dead or the rules of the game have changed.
 
2014-08-09 12:25:39 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-09 12:29:13 AM  
You idiots keep submitting stories about her and keep talking about her and...you're shocked at this?
 
2014-08-09 12:30:41 AM  

chitownmike: bulok: Sad thing, this woman makes more in a month day second than most of us farkers in a year.

Ftfy


Ftfy
 
2014-08-09 12:31:02 AM  
AW ghost-writes memoir about AW-ing. Zero division achieved.
 
2014-08-09 12:32:42 AM  
For supposedly being such an idiot, she sure makes some genius moves.
 
2014-08-09 12:38:06 AM  
she does have a nice ass.
 
2014-08-09 12:39:19 AM  

umad: For supposedly being such an idiot, she sure makes some genius moves.


Quite true I shall admit with reluctance.  That family may not be mensa material but they do know how to capitalize.

Also the Obsidian Order is quite adept at cataloging everything that comes into its possession so I am not surprised that this book could come out with no difficulty
 
2014-08-09 12:45:19 AM  

umad: For supposedly being She's such an idiot, but she her management team sure makes some genius moves.


There you go.
 
2014-08-09 12:45:53 AM  

Bucky Katt: she does have a nice ass.


I think she's pretty hot, but her ass is weirdly out of proportion with her body. I think it's her worst feature. Would probably be attractive if she weighed a bit more but her bum didn't get bigger.

All that said, I think she's a vile attention whore and the less I see or hear of her the better.

/I was on a good 'no Kardashian intrusion into my life' run until subby didn't properly warn us.
//jerk. Some jokes hurt for real.
 
2014-08-09 12:48:35 AM  
I wish I had superpowers, so that I could exclusively use them to cull the herd. Celebutwunt publishes a "selfie book"? She's gone. Cop shoots someone's kid and gets administrative leave? He's gone. Politician kowtows to the corporation that put him in office? Yeah, he's gone. Overzealous school administrator kicks out a kid for biting a piece of bread into a vaguely gun-like shape? Yep, they're gone. Someone murders their kid because it was too much of a burden? You better believe they're gone. Idiot journalist stokes fear-fires over a non-issue that's based on a misquoted scientist from a decade ago? Gone with extreme prejudice. Kid on Xbox Live whose entire vocabulary is 4 of George Carlin's 7 words? He'd just disappear. That guy in the front row last night at Guardians who wouldn't put his phone away, despite me standing up and yelling "PUT THE GOD DAMN PHONE AWAY ASSHOLE" to the applause of nearby audience? He won't be making any calls anymore. Popular musical artist complains about how much their lifestyle of fame, excess, and luxury are too stressful? I'd bet being dog food would be less stressful. Administrators of a sports league...well, shiat. They don't really have to do anything to get on the list; they're already on it. CEO of a company institutes austerity measures while receiving a record bonus? How about a lead bonus? Financial executives laugh all the way to the bank while destroying their company and part of the economy in the process? In my world, they don't last long enough to go to prison. Media lawyers slap a grandma with a million dollar lawsuit for posting a video of her grandchild singing a copyrighted song? Ha, I'd feed them to each other. Tweet a photo of yourself in a Nirvana shirt while asking who this Kurt guy was and why was he such a big deal because you've never heard of him? Your parents will never find the body.

I'd do bad stuff too, like killing cartel capos. I guess that's frowned upon for some reason?
 
2014-08-09 12:51:32 AM  
Waitasecondwecanjustignoreher.jpg
 
2014-08-09 12:55:43 AM  
MaudlinMutantMollusk:

/who was the f*cktard who decided this drove of attention whores should be celebrities?

People who talk about them
/You
 
2014-08-09 12:59:38 AM  

I_Am_Weasel: "Who's the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him buys the book?"


I'm convinced that things like this are part of a complex sociogical experiment meant to weed out the incompetent.
 
2014-08-09 01:00:23 AM  
Her booty like TWO planets.
 
2014-08-09 01:01:51 AM  

DMZ DEATH: I_Am_Weasel: "Who's the more foolish, the fool, or the fool who follows him buys the book?"

I'm convinced that things like this are part of a complex sociogical experiment meant to weed out the incompetent.


* especially the ones who are drunk and make lots of grammatical errors.
 
2014-08-09 01:02:16 AM  

Representative of the unwashed masses: Quite true I shall admit with reluctance.  That family may not be mensa material but they do know how to capitalize.


Not really.  People know how to capitalize on them.  If it weren't for a few key breaks they got this Kim biatch would be pregnant with her 4th child living in a trailer and getting drunk every day.

Just like me....except I'm not pregnant and don't live in a trailer.

And I'm not drunk yet.  Give me time, I just woke up.
 
2014-08-09 01:02:48 AM  

grinding_journalist: I wish I had superpowers, so that I could exclusively use them to cull the herd. Celebutwunt publishes a "selfie book"? She's gone. Cop shoots someone's kid and gets administrative leave? He's gone. Politician kowtows to the corporation that put him in office? Yeah, he's gone. Overzealous school administrator kicks out a kid for biting a piece of bread into a vaguely gun-like shape? Yep, they're gone. Someone murders their kid because it was too much of a burden? You better believe they're gone. Idiot journalist stokes fear-fires over a non-issue that's based on a misquoted scientist from a decade ago? Gone with extreme prejudice. Kid on Xbox Live whose entire vocabulary is 4 of George Carlin's 7 words? He'd just disappear. That guy in the front row last night at Guardians who wouldn't put his phone away, despite me standing up and yelling "PUT THE GOD DAMN PHONE AWAY ASSHOLE" to the applause of nearby audience? He won't be making any calls anymore. Popular musical artist complains about how much their lifestyle of fame, excess, and luxury are too stressful? I'd bet being dog food would be less stressful. Administrators of a sports league...well, shiat. They don't really have to do anything to get on the list; they're already on it. CEO of a company institutes austerity measures while receiving a record bonus? How about a lead bonus? Financial executives laugh all the way to the bank while destroying their company and part of the economy in the process? In my world, they don't last long enough to go to prison. Media lawyers slap a grandma with a million dollar lawsuit for posting a video of her grandchild singing a copyrighted song? Ha, I'd feed them to each other. Tweet a photo of yourself in a Nirvana shirt while asking who this Kurt guy was and why was he such a big deal because you've never heard of him? Your parents will never find the body.

I'd do bad stuff too, like killing cartel capos. I guess that's frowned upon for some reason?


if you are going to act like an ITG at least try to be funny, there wasn't even a punchline, try harder next time
 
2014-08-09 01:09:51 AM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-09 01:21:08 AM  
352 pages? Maybe it's printed with 24pt type? So that would at least make it WHARGARBLLLLL
 
2014-08-09 01:21:13 AM  
A Polaroid??
 
2014-08-09 01:28:13 AM  
i can't diss this. it's too organic. it's a natural.
 
2014-08-09 01:32:02 AM  

Meat's dream: Her booty like TWO planets.


Ham sandwich!
 
2014-08-09 01:33:59 AM  
Krist!
 
2014-08-09 01:36:23 AM  

chitownmike: if you are going to act like an ITG at least try to be funny, there wasn't even a punchline, try harder next time


I'm not, I prefaced the entire statement with "I wish I had superpowers..." which should tip you off as to the seriousness of the following post. That said, where did you get that I was trying to be funny? It's not supposed to be funny, and apparently it wasn't, so mission accomplished?

ITG would be "I'm gonna go kill these people, I've had enough" or "What the fark did you say to me, you little biatch? I'll have you know I graduated at the top of my class at Marine Core Academee®..." etc. ITG also suggest that they could beat you in a fight, at any time, with any weapon. The whole point of me having superpowers is that it wouldn't be a fair fight, they wouldn't see it coming, and wouldn't be able to do anything about it. That's more of a sucker punch, something ITG pride themselves on not having to stoop to.

As an aside, it amuses me when people quote my posts to indicate disdain, but in the same sentence imply that they follow me on this site and look forward to my contributions in the future. So, thanks for that. It's good to know I have fans out there.
 
2014-08-09 01:36:40 AM  

LewDux: MaudlinMutantMollusk:

/who was the f*cktard who decided this drove of attention whores should be celebrities?

People who talk about them
/You


Excuse the f*ck out of me for expressing my derision, oh wise one
 
2014-08-09 01:39:57 AM  

grinding_journalist: I wish I had superpowers, so that I could exclusively use them to cull the herd. Celebutwunt publishes a "selfie book"? She's gone. Cop shoots someone's kid and gets administrative leave? He's gone. Politician kowtows to the corporation that put him in office? Yeah, he's gone. Overzealous school administrator kicks out a kid for biting a piece of bread into a vaguely gun-like shape? Yep, they're gone. Someone murders their kid because it was too much of a burden? You better believe they're gone. Idiot journalist stokes fear-fires over a non-issue that's based on a misquoted scientist from a decade ago? Gone with extreme prejudice. Kid on Xbox Live whose entire vocabulary is 4 of George Carlin's 7 words? He'd just disappear. That guy in the front row last night at Guardians who wouldn't put his phone away, despite me standing up and yelling "PUT THE GOD DAMN PHONE AWAY ASSHOLE" to the applause of nearby audience? He won't be making any calls anymore. Popular musical artist complains about how much their lifestyle of fame, excess, and luxury are too stressful? I'd bet being dog food would be less stressful. Administrators of a sports league...well, shiat. They don't really have to do anything to get on the list; they're already on it. CEO of a company institutes austerity measures while receiving a record bonus? How about a lead bonus? Financial executives laugh all the way to the bank while destroying their company and part of the economy in the process? In my world, they don't last long enough to go to prison. Media lawyers slap a grandma with a million dollar lawsuit for posting a video of her grandchild singing a copyrighted song? Ha, I'd feed them to each other. Tweet a photo of yourself in a Nirvana shirt while asking who this Kurt guy was and why was he such a big deal because you've never heard of him? Your parents will never find the body.

I'd do bad stuff too, like killing cartel capos. I guess that's frowned upon for some reason?


"I've got a little list/Of society offenders who never would be missed/ No, they never would be missed"...
 
2014-08-09 01:46:34 AM  

highwayrun: "I've got a little list/Of society offenders who never would be missed/ No, they never would be missed"...


You have no idea how pleased this makes me. Didn't occur, seems so obvious.
 
2014-08-09 01:50:36 AM  
Well THAT was a disappointing link. I thought someone had finally developed faster-than-light travel and was offering fun getaways to exotic new planets. That was supposed to be a regular thing in the 21st century, wasn't it? We're 14 years in and that's still not a regular thing?

/damn comic books lied to me.
//I bet those X-ray glasses I ordered won't work either.
 
2014-08-09 01:58:24 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: LewDux: MaudlinMutantMollusk:

/who was the f*cktard who decided this drove of attention whores should be celebrities?

People who talk about them
/You

Excuse the f*ck out of me for expressing my derision, oh wise one


Iuppiter iratus ergo nefas; se détendre , payer votre impôt sur le revenu
 
2014-08-09 02:12:33 AM  

grinding_journalist: chitownmike: if you are going to act like an ITG at least try to be funny, there wasn't even a punchline, try harder next time

I'm not, I prefaced the entire statement with "I wish I had superpowers..." which should tip you off as to the seriousness of the following post. That said, where did you get that I was trying to be funny? It's not supposed to be funny, and apparently it wasn't, so mission accomplished?

ITG would be "I'm gonna go kill these people, I've had enough" or "What the fark did you say to me, you little biatch? I'll have you know I graduated at the top of my class at Marine Core Academee®..." etc. ITG also suggest that they could beat you in a fight, at any time, with any weapon. The whole point of me having superpowers is that it wouldn't be a fair fight, they wouldn't see it coming, and wouldn't be able to do anything about it. That's more of a sucker punch, something ITG pride themselves on not having to stoop to.

As an aside, it amuses me when people quote my posts to indicate disdain, but in the same sentence imply that they follow me on this site and look forward to my contributions in the future. So, thanks for that. It's good to know I have fans out there.


you get validation from the strangest places.
 
2014-08-09 02:15:01 AM  

Meat's dream: Her booty like TWO planets.


No argument there:


images.wikia.com
 
ecl
2014-08-09 02:31:00 AM  

grinding_journalist: highwayrun: "I've got a little list/Of society offenders who never would be missed/ No, they never would be missed"...

You have no idea how pleased this makes me. Didn't occur, seems so obvious.


Stop whacking off while posting at least.
 
2014-08-09 02:45:40 AM  
it is a little interesting for someone to be so self absorbed that they feel the need to be the center of attention at all times and  everything she does is only for others to pay more attention. What a crazy way to live.

I understand people in entertainment are that way but this is way over the top.
 
2014-08-09 02:59:59 AM  

Raider_dad: it is a little interesting for someone to be so self absorbed that they feel the need to be the center of attention at all times and  everything she does is only for others to pay more attention. What a crazy way to live.

I understand people in entertainment are that way but this is way over the top.


She's also making a crap ton of money, which many seem to be either overlooking, or are insanely jealous about.

Anyhow, threads like these, as in most Fark threads, are always filled with whiny little biatches.

/welcome to fark.com
 
2014-08-09 03:00:33 AM  
So she is going to get people to pay for something they can get for free on the internet?
 
2014-08-09 03:02:00 AM  
It's to the point where I'm honestly impressed now: She's reached a goddamn virtuoso level of using fame without not talent.
 
2014-08-09 03:12:06 AM  
Mods, can we please institute a ban on any and all links that are Kardashian/Kanye related?

Please.  For the good of all mankind.
 
2014-08-09 03:20:43 AM  

highwayrun: grinding_journalist: I wish I had superpowers, so that I could exclusively use them to cull the herd. Celebutwunt publishes a "selfie book"? She's gone. Cop shoots someone's kid and gets administrative leave? He's gone. Politician kowtows to the corporation that put him in office? Yeah, he's gone. Overzealous school administrator kicks out a kid for biting a piece of bread into a vaguely gun-like shape? Yep, they're gone. Someone murders their kid because it was too much of a burden? You better believe they're gone. Idiot journalist stokes fear-fires over a non-issue that's based on a misquoted scientist from a decade ago? Gone with extreme prejudice. Kid on Xbox Live whose entire vocabulary is 4 of George Carlin's 7 words? He'd just disappear. That guy in the front row last night at Guardians who wouldn't put his phone away, despite me standing up and yelling "PUT THE GOD DAMN PHONE AWAY ASSHOLE" to the applause of nearby audience? He won't be making any calls anymore. Popular musical artist complains about how much their lifestyle of fame, excess, and luxury are too stressful? I'd bet being dog food would be less stressful. Administrators of a sports league...well, shiat. They don't really have to do anything to get on the list; they're already on it. CEO of a company institutes austerity measures while receiving a record bonus? How about a lead bonus? Financial executives laugh all the way to the bank while destroying their company and part of the economy in the process? In my world, they don't last long enough to go to prison. Media lawyers slap a grandma with a million dollar lawsuit for posting a video of her grandchild singing a copyrighted song? Ha, I'd feed them to each other. Tweet a photo of yourself in a Nirvana shirt while asking who this Kurt guy was and why was he such a big deal because you've never heard of him? Your parents will never find the body.

I'd do bad stuff too, like killing cartel capos. I guess that's frowned upon for some reason?

"I've got a little list/Of society offenders who never would be missed/ No, they never would be missed"...


content.ytmnd.com
 
2014-08-09 03:22:06 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-09 03:28:20 AM  
If you are tired of living on Earth, come to my home planet of Pluto. I'm not even sure if we are a planet anymore. Not only that,  but in regards to our religion... We have no 'divinity' (well, we do have the pecan candy kind).  Instead, we worship no God (but you are free (but only if you want) to hang up this picture ... (we really don't care either way)

www.thatcutesite.com

We have a completely functional democratic governing body that borders on being the first successful utopian society. We achieved this lofty goal because we base our rules and laws on altruism and really good chocolate. I'm serious, it is much better than Godiva or Villars.

We have no hang-ups about sex and believe that any expression of love or physical pleasure is encouraged... except rape. Rape will get you and your entire family kicked right off Pluto.
Our views on race are based on the universal truth that 'WE ARE ALL PINK INSIDE'

And the best part, No Kardashians. AND NO SELFIES!

Well that last part might not be 100% truthful. We DO let Stevie Wonder take selfies, but we always tell him he looks GREAT!

static.fjcdn.com
 
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