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(Some Guy)   50 Shades Generator (very Not safe for work): "The ectoplasm was oozing down my chin and onto my top bollocks. It was bliss having his mutton dagger probed inside me again; stuffing myself with a lightbulb just didn't get my stench trench gushing anymore"   (fiftyshadesgenerator.com) divider line 41
    More: Amusing  
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2348 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 08 Aug 2014 at 8:18 AM (33 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



41 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-08 02:22:25 AM  
I shared this with my friends.  I should be ashamed of myself for inflicting such silliness on them but I'm not.  Forgive me Father for I have sinned against common sense and Fark....
 
2014-08-08 02:38:58 AM  
Okay I'm not going there while I'm at work so....what input do you use to get the output?
 
2014-08-08 02:46:14 AM  
I actually laughed out loud at the headline.

I should get more work done...

Thisisnotabookmark.jpg
 
2014-08-08 02:48:38 AM  

Ambivalence: Okay I'm not going there while I'm at work so....what input do you use to get the output?


It's just generated for you. No input needed.

"I began sweating like a white mouse in a tampon factory."
 
2014-08-08 08:21:52 AM  
I seem to remember seeing this here before, but it is still pretty funny:

Inserting an antique doorknob into my sperm socket got me pouring pussy batter faster than greased shiat off a shiny shovel.
 
2014-08-08 08:28:05 AM  
My one slice toaster was trembling like Michael J. Fox licking a car battery.
 
2014-08-08 08:40:13 AM  

Ambivalence: what input do you use to get the output


When a Daddy and Mommy love each other very much there is a special hug where the Daddy provides an input to the Mommy.  After a couple of years of this special hug the Mommy has trouble reaching her Output so the Daddy has to use clothes pins and a few of his ties to help the mommy.
 
2014-08-08 08:51:41 AM  
"I can't wait to lap the cock custard from his tallywacker. I awoke the next morning with my shamevelope still leaking. I thought it was over but his throbbing quim dagger had other ideas."

/strangest boner
 
2014-08-08 09:21:35 AM  
"Quivering cod cavern". Being Portuguese I will now adopt this as my favorite vagina euphemism.
 
2014-08-08 09:47:01 AM  
media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
 
2014-08-08 10:16:14 AM  
Just a shameless bookmark
 
2014-08-08 10:37:00 AM  
"Is now the time to tell him I really need to pitch a stink pickle, I wondered?"

Timeless.
 
2014-08-08 10:47:08 AM  
There was penis pudding leaking from his ramrod and I was wetter than a spastic's chin. We were ready for more. The thrusting of my old dirt road was so vigorous, he soon found his man marbles joining his spunk-filled spam rocket deep in my vintage golf bag.

Sweet mother of god.
 
2014-08-08 11:25:34 AM  
Funniest thing I have read in a while...
 
2014-08-08 11:31:15 AM  
"The unrelenting orgasms from his cervix cigar farking my mound of love pudding made me come so hard, I began sweating like a gypsy near an unlocked shipping container. The mixture of colon cobra and Da Vinci load in my other vagina created the delicious porthole pudding that he was so fond of. If I don't fluff the muff to get my sex wee foaming from my calamari cockring, his love lollipop is going to leave my panty hamster resembling Terry Waite's allotment. The pounding makes me eject my vertical moisture all over his blind butler. Hours of plowing like this would leave any girl's flappy meal looking like a ripped out fireplace, and I was no different!"

So. many. euphemisms.
 
2014-08-08 11:31:45 AM  
"After having my soft-shelled tuna taco slammed, he then proceeded to hammer my rusty sherif's badge."
 
2014-08-08 11:48:54 AM  
"my panty hamster started to look like the bathroom door from The Shining"


nice
 
2014-08-08 11:52:05 AM  
I can't stop laughing subby. congrats and +1 or whatever it is we do around here.
 
2014-08-08 12:40:57 PM  
A lightbulb???? Bwaaahaaaaa..."stench trench.."  I'm f-ing DYING laughing over here.
 
2014-08-08 12:45:24 PM  

the_celt: "I can't wait to lap the cock custard from his tallywacker. I awoke the next morning with my shamevelope still leaking. I thought it was over but his throbbing quim dagger had other ideas."

/strangest boner


SHAMEVELOPE! Holy shiatballs. That is so funny. I would use that euphemism for my own vadge -- except I have no shame about getting down and dirty with my lovers.
 
2014-08-08 12:52:50 PM  

unfarkingbelievable: the_celt: "I can't wait to lap the cock custard from his tallywacker. I awoke the next morning with my shamevelope still leaking. I thought it was over but his throbbing quim dagger had other ideas."

/strangest boner

SHAMEVELOPE! Holy shiatballs. That is so funny. I would use that euphemism for my own vadge -- except I have no shame about getting down and dirty with my lovers.


Heh.. how you doin ;)
 
2014-08-08 12:57:31 PM  
"Now, I've seen more foreskins than a rabbi during a baby boom, but the sight of his chubstep made my tuna tunnel tears trickle like a slug in a salt mine. I can't wait to suck the gentleman's relish from his eight inches of throbbing pink jesus."

lost it at pink jesus
 
2014-08-08 01:35:44 PM  
oddly i read those lines in Leslie Neilsons voice
 
2014-08-08 01:49:27 PM  

Ambivalence: Okay I'm not going there while I'm at work so....what input do you use to get the output?


Exactly.
 
2014-08-08 01:58:54 PM  

sedric: oddly i read those lines in Leslie Neilsons voice


I read it in Elmer Fudd's voice.
 
2014-08-08 02:02:21 PM  
I read it in my generic, non-distinct inner dialog voice. Still got a chuckle.
 
2014-08-08 02:30:57 PM  
the stench trench

great band name, amirite?
 
2014-08-08 02:55:13 PM  
With his disco stick pounding deep into my whispering eye, the sensation of his purple beaver buster smashing my cervix made me quiver like Muhammad Ali on a tumble dryer.
 
2014-08-08 03:12:58 PM  

Pentaxian:  made me quiver like Muhammad Ali on a tumble dryer.


That is supremely farked up.

/I lolled
 
2014-08-08 03:16:00 PM  
I can't wait for the youtube video "Gilbert Gottfried Reads 50 Shades Generator".

oblig, and nsfw:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA
 
2014-08-08 03:16:25 PM  
With my panty hamster now much like a gutted trout, he thought it was time to start plunging my fudge factory. Is now the time to tell him I really need to extrude a footlong fudge bullet, I wondered?

That is a deep philosophical question
 
2014-08-08 03:47:28 PM  
LMAO!!!
But no input, no real fun!
 
2014-08-08 04:21:31 PM  
 the sensation of his blind butler smashing my cervix made me quake like Micheal J. Fox licking a car battery.
 
2014-08-08 04:58:44 PM  

Psychopusher: "The unrelenting orgasms from his cervix cigar farking my mound of love pudding made me come so hard, I began sweating like a gypsy near an unlocked shipping container. The mixture of colon cobra and Da Vinci load in my other vagina created the delicious porthole pudding that he was so fond of. If I don't fluff the muff to get my sex wee foaming from my calamari cockring, his love lollipop is going to leave my panty hamster resembling Terry Waite's allotment. The pounding makes me eject my vertical moisture all over his blind butler. Hours of plowing like this would leave any girl's flappy meal looking like a ripped out fireplace, and I was no different!"

So. many. euphemisms.


It's like a Dennis Miller monologue...
 
2014-08-08 05:02:04 PM  

E_Henry_Thripshaws_Disease: the stench trench

great band name, amirite?


I was thinking lesbian bar...
 
2014-08-08 05:08:10 PM  

NateAsbestos: Psychopusher: "The unrelenting orgasms from his cervix cigar farking my mound of love pudding made me come so hard, I began sweating like a gypsy near an unlocked shipping container. The mixture of colon cobra and Da Vinci load in my other vagina created the delicious porthole pudding that he was so fond of. If I don't fluff the muff to get my sex wee foaming from my calamari cockring, his love lollipop is going to leave my panty hamster resembling Terry Waite's allotment. The pounding makes me eject my vertical moisture all over his blind butler. Hours of plowing like this would leave any girl's flappy meal looking like a ripped out fireplace, and I was no different!"

So. many. euphemisms.

It's like a Dennis Miller monologue...


except it's funny...
 
2014-08-08 05:10:42 PM  

Medic Zero: except it's funny...


Well yeah, but--
Wait is Dennis Miller supposed to be funny!?
 
2014-08-08 05:13:36 PM  

NateAsbestos: Medic Zero: except it's funny...

Well yeah, but--
Wait is Dennis Miller supposed to be funny!?


I found him at least occasionally amusing until *that* day scared him so much that he shat out his spine.
 
2014-08-08 06:35:18 PM  

Candygram for Mongo: I can't wait for the youtube video "Gilbert Gottfried Reads 50 Shades Generator".

oblig, and nsfw:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K1RcKJVbHA


You just ruined it for me. I gotta go back...
 
2014-08-08 07:29:17 PM  
My slime hole was trembling like Muhammad Ali on a tumble dryer.

/spittake
 
2014-08-09 11:36:28 AM  
Some girls are happy just to play the clitar when they're alone, but I can't get off without having an antique doorknob in my south mouth and a barbie doll up my soft tight anus. With his coont plunger farking deep into my herring hole, the sensation of his all-beef thermometer smashing my cervix made me quake like an epileptic at a Pink Floyd concert.
 
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