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(CBS News)   Parents paint peanut butter on their kids   ( divider line
    More: Asinine, paints, Jennifer Aniston, parents  
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20665 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Feb 2004 at 10:11 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

80 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-02-16 09:40:11 PM  
That's giving Darwin a post-dated check.
2004-02-16 10:13:50 PM  
Got Milk?

(didn't rtfa/)
2004-02-16 10:14:47 PM  
I guess that's one way to get the dog to play with you.
2004-02-16 10:15:23 PM  
had to RTFA just to get at what it was gettin' at.
2004-02-16 10:16:47 PM  
a few years ago when we were canoeing in boundry waters (bear country) one of the asshats I was with poured the grease out of the frying pan all around my tent.

I just about killed the farker, I didn't sleep one wink that night.

If I only had seen this story, I could have painted the bastard's face with peanut butter.
2004-02-16 10:16:49 PM  

is this about the parents having bears lick it off the kids?

/didnt rtfa either

2004-02-16 10:17:03 PM  
Oh how cute honey, the bear seems to really like little Jonny....OH DEAR LORD, what is he doing to our son's face!?!
/expected to see a scene like that
2004-02-16 10:17:07 PM  
Is it darwinism if your parents get a bear to kill you?
2004-02-16 10:18:11 PM  
davyt: Yes, because you're their offspring.
2004-02-16 10:20:11 PM  
i think the important thing to remember here... wait what the hell did they do?
2004-02-16 10:21:03 PM  
Really? Bears will come lick peanut butter off your face?

And all this time I was wasting it on my wang for the dog....
2004-02-16 10:21:08 PM  
BLAGHHHHH! Peanut Butter sucks!
2004-02-16 10:22:17 PM  
What's wrong with feeding your dog?
2004-02-16 10:22:23 PM  
Temptation: For some odd reason, I'm envisioning a PSA. You know... with the unedited camcorder footage, the screaming, the "The following is not a dramatization"...

I got the peanut butter... all I need is a camcorder and a kid...
2004-02-16 10:22:30 PM  

Does anyone care about perfect alliteration anymore?
2004-02-16 10:22:32 PM  
YEAGHHHHH! Peanut Butter rocks!
2004-02-16 10:23:01 PM  
Most worthless headline. Ever.
2004-02-16 10:23:33 PM  
Wait, you guys have bears?
2004-02-16 10:24:39 PM  
" many bears are dependent on human food that some are forgetting how to forage for food and have begun breaking into houses."
See, See, bears need a welfare to work program to stop being dependant on public assistance!
2004-02-16 10:26:12 PM  
The bear's breath smells of dead bunnies.

/Ralph Wiggum
2004-02-16 10:26:16 PM  
Peanut butter is only good for getting rid of hicups!
2004-02-16 10:29:19 PM  
I thought that the whole thing about people putting stuff on their kids faces to get cute pics was an urban legend. Not to say I don't see that people can be that stupid, I just want proof.

So, please go feed the bears.

/my bear wants kid face
2004-02-16 10:30:07 PM  
the only cure for this country is mass executions followed by sterilization
2004-02-16 10:30:28 PM  

Consistent quality control concerning kids counts!
2004-02-16 10:31:23 PM  
Are you farking KIDDING me??!!

CPS should come in NOW.

"I'm sorry, you're kids fine now, but you're a dumass."
2004-02-16 10:32:39 PM  
Soft on the outside, crunchy on the inside with a smooth brainy center.

/Darwin wants steak
2004-02-16 10:35:29 PM  
be warned, do not do the peanut butter on your balls thing with a bear, it is NOT WORTH IT
2004-02-16 10:36:14 PM  
That damn Quizno thing haunts me everywhere I go. It looks like a retarded chicken nugget.
2004-02-16 10:39:30 PM  
Just confirms my suspicion that the majority of human beings are simply a waste of perfectly good oxygen. This is what you get when brain-dead urbanites get enough money to "move the the country".
2004-02-16 10:41:04 PM  
I love those freaking Spongmonkeys!
2004-02-16 10:44:08 PM  
I don't know what's worse. That we have to make laws to protect people against their own stupid behavior like this, or that we make laws to protect people against their own stupid behavior.
They should just make a law against this and say the punishment is getting eaten by a bear.
2004-02-16 10:52:33 PM  
Let the bears pay the bear tax......i pay the Homer tax!!
2004-02-16 10:54:23 PM  
ha... that's so funny I forgot to laugh... excluding that first "ha".

The only time it's funny when parents smear peanut butter on kids is when there's allergies involved.

am I going to hell for finding that funny?
2004-02-16 10:56:03 PM  
Awesome quote:
Experts say when celebrities are shown cuddling up to bears, it reinforces the idea that bears and people belong together.

And damn you, b0rg9, for using the banana guy already...

Peanutbuttajelly, Peanutbuttajelly, Peanutbuttajellywithabaseballbat!
2004-02-16 10:56:16 PM  
Those Quizno's commercials rock.


And damn good sammiches, too.
2004-02-16 10:59:37 PM  
Screw peanut butter....use honey. Bears love kids with honey on their faces. Go up and give em a big hug. They love honey-head kids.


Hey Gentle Ben, where's Bobby?

*burp* I dunno, I think he scampered off that way. He was scamperrin...
2004-02-16 11:03:41 PM  

Yogi Bear: "Hey Boo Boo, they have their kids in our peanut butter !"

Boo Boo: "Um, Yogi, they have our peanut butter on their kids."

Yogi: "Let's maul them."

Boo: "I don't think the Ranger will like it."

Two great taste that taste great together.

2004-02-16 11:04:47 PM  
I'm surprised there isn't a Snopes entry on this. I've been hearing that 'parents spread peanut butter on kid's face to get cute picture of bear licking him - kid proceeds to get mauled' story since the 70's.
2004-02-16 11:06:11 PM  
[We have had people who have painted peanut butter on kids faces so the bear will come up and lick the peanut butter off the child's face and get a picture of it," says Bryant.]


If I ever saw someone doing that to thier kids I'd report them to child services in a heartbeat! And I utterly loath child service people to the core of my being. Any parent that uses thier kid as friggin' BAIT for a photo op should be shot.
2004-02-16 11:07:16 PM  
Your bear wants kid.
2004-02-16 11:08:40 PM  
Parents paint peanut putty on progeny.
2004-02-16 11:10:34 PM  
This is what you get when brain-dead urbanites get enough money to "move the the country".

Yes...the good news is that they don't tend to stay long.

The bad news is, they do tend to insist that the bear be hunted down and killed, it's a vicious, vicious animal!
2004-02-16 11:17:05 PM  
These are the same idiots who walk up to bison in Yellowstone, plunk little Johnny down onto one, and are surprised when goring and/or trampling ensue
2004-02-16 11:19:58 PM  
thank god it was thier face[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-16 11:20:13 PM  
personally, I despise Nature. I'm a techie, I love central air and i'm addicted to the internet. My deal with Mother Nature is pretty simple - she stays the hell out of my living room and I don't strip mine North America.

So far things have worked out well, all things considered.
2004-02-16 11:21:42 PM  

The bad news is, they do tend to insist that the bear be hunted down and killed, it's a vicious, vicious animal!

That reminds me of a woman in Santa Cruz, CA that complained a couple of months ago to the city because her and her family were traumitized by seeing a hawk swoop down and grab a duckling out of the pond at the city park.
I mean what does she want the city to do? Sit around with shotguns and shoot the hawks?
2004-02-16 11:22:34 PM  
Steve Irwin ain't so crazy, now, IS HE?!?! IS HE?!?!?!
2004-02-16 11:24:53 PM  
is it just me or understood this article to be about bears, not about peanut butter.
2004-02-16 11:24:55 PM  
First of all...

It looks like a retarded chicken nugget.

Even though I'm getting tired of hearing about and seeing the spongemonkeys everywhere, that cracked me up. It does look like a retarded chicken nugget! My brain never would have gone there. Without medication.

But back to the topic: I think the park rangers should shoot rubber bullets at the people and retrain them. A friend of mine is a park ranger and came upon a group of tourists getting too close to a bear by the roadside, trying to get pictures. So he stopped his truck and strode angrily towards the scene, drawing out his bear spray and directing a blast towards the bear, to drive it off and hopefully put it off of hanging around people. But my friend failed to note the stiff breeze that was blowing and so instead of the bear, it was the group of tourists that got maced. But they didn't complain; they apologized profusely for approaching the bear, thinking that the spray was meant for them and that macing people was park policy.

So it all worked out in the end. Ever since he's seriously considered macing tourists who get too close to wildlife, but hasn't, because the bears are less likely to sue.
2004-02-16 11:28:11 PM  
Ok as a parent all I have to say is WTF. Now I know some people are dumb but come on. Awwww look Yogi likes peanut butter. Only Grizzly Adams can have sex I mean have a bear eat peanut butter off his ------. One, two, three, It only takes three licks to get to the tootsie center.
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