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(Guardian)   Lady runner runner uses GPS to 'draw run' pictures of penises, dogs and Space Invaders aliens on Nike+ map   (theguardian.com) divider line 89
    More: Amusing  
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14079 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Aug 2014 at 1:27 PM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-06 10:50:54 AM  
"Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?
 
2014-08-06 11:06:33 AM  

Theaetetus: "Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?


Because usually, only guys are immature enough in adulthood to draw dicks for fun?

/You keep on doing your thing, lady runner.  It's awesome.
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-08-06 11:35:54 AM  

Theaetetus: "Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?


The lady is a tramp.
 
2014-08-06 12:43:12 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-06 01:15:59 PM  

Theaetetus: "Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?


Because if this woman is, in fact, drawing enormous penises across a map using the course of her run as its outline, then what that really means on a fundamental level is that this woman is thinking about nothing but a giant penis for the entire duration of her run. With each breath she takes, with each bob of her ponytail, swing of her hands, swagger of her hips, she is thinking about it. Her breathing itself becomes the soft chant that is the only thing filling her mind, each inhale and exhale a separate syllable of the word: pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis. She is at once, paradoxically, bound to the penis even as she is creating it. For it is as Michelangelo said: Every city block has a penis inside it, and it is the task of the runner to discover it. And that is what she is doing: Discovering. Feeling, tracing, hugging every curve and ridge, puffing up in the inclines, memorizing its dimensions and shape. This woman has seen a thousand penises in her mind, ten thousand, and yet still she runs, still she searches, still she tries to find that one. The perfect ideal. The one true penis whose contours, mapped now by her own body's efforts, looks back at her as if to say, Yes. It is I. You have found me, at last. And now imagine, on that one, perfect day, as she finishes her run and stands panting beside her car in the parking lot to check the course upon her phone, that breathless moment when she realizes what she's finally achieved, the tears of joy and desperate rapture wetting her cheeks, and at that moment she looks up and sees subby standing there in front of her, his own penis in hand.  And it's the same penis.

I see beauty in such things.
 
2014-08-06 01:29:49 PM  
Big deal....

content.animalnewyork.com
 
2014-08-06 01:31:01 PM  

Theaetetus: "Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?


Subby

s.yimg.com
 
2014-08-06 01:32:57 PM  
static.guim.co.uk

The eyes are impressive.  To scale, she must have the jumping power of a flea.
 
2014-08-06 01:37:24 PM  
Lady runner runner does a great job. Must be thinking about me!

//probably not
 
2014-08-06 01:38:46 PM  
static.guim.co.uk
 
2014-08-06 01:39:32 PM  
I wish the whole drawing dicks thing would stop forever
 
2014-08-06 01:40:23 PM  
I think we have a lady runner with too much time and too little to think about.
 
2014-08-06 01:40:23 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x408]

The eyes are impressive.  To scale, she must have the jumping power of a flea.


Most running apps let you pause the tracking and let you resume at will. Left of the left eye you can see where she picked back up as she returned to the main path.
 
2014-08-06 01:43:03 PM  
static.guim.co.uk

I laughed.
 
2014-08-06 01:44:07 PM  
pbs.twimg.com

I like where this woman's mind is going.
 
2014-08-06 01:44:54 PM  
JackieRabbit: I think we have a lady runner runner with too much time and too little to think about.

Come on, get with the program program.
 
2014-08-06 01:45:17 PM  
I friend of mine has taken to posting his "runs" whenever he's doing something that involves walking around in circles like mowing his lawn and vacuuming.  In a Facebook world riddled with the mundane, I find them endlessly entertaining.
 
2014-08-06 01:46:12 PM  

moothemagiccow: I wish the whole drawing dicks thing would stop forever


img.fark.net
 
2014-08-06 01:46:43 PM  
I laughed.
 
2014-08-06 01:46:45 PM  

Pocket Ninja: Theaetetus: "Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?

Because if this woman is, in fact, drawing enormous penises across a map using the course of her run as its outline, then what that really means on a fundamental level is that this woman is thinking about nothing but a giant penis for the entire duration of her run. With each breath she takes, with each bob of her ponytail, swing of her hands, swagger of her hips, she is thinking about it. Her breathing itself becomes the soft chant that is the only thing filling her mind, each inhale and exhale a separate syllable of the word: pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis. She is at once, paradoxically, bound to the penis even as she is creating it. For it is as Michelangelo said: Every city block has a penis inside it, and it is the task of the runner to discover it. And that is what she is doing: Discovering. Feeling, tracing, hugging every curve and ridge, puffing up in the inclines, memorizing its dimensions and shape. This woman has seen a thousand penises in her mind, ten thousand, and yet still she runs, still she searches, still she tries to find that one. The perfect ideal. The one true penis whose contours, mapped now by her own body's efforts, looks back at her as if to say, Yes. It is I. You have found me, at last. And now imagine, on that one, perfect day, as she finishes her run and stands panting beside her car in the parking lot to check the course upon her phone, that breathless moment when she realizes what she's finally achieved, the tears of joy and desperate rapture wetting her cheeks, and at that moment she looks up and sees subby standing there in front of her, his own penis in hand.  And it's the same penis.

I see beauty in such things.


encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com

Throughout this post I kept imagining that scene from Wayne's World where Charlton Heston was reminiscing about an old girlfriend.
 
2014-08-06 01:46:49 PM  
I'm in love.
 
2014-08-06 01:47:56 PM  

Pocket Ninja: Theaetetus: "Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?

Because if this woman is, in fact, drawing enormous penises across a map using the course of her run as its outline, then what that really means on a fundamental level is that this woman is thinking about nothing but a giant penis for the entire duration of her run. With each breath she takes, with each bob of her ponytail, swing of her hands, swagger of her hips, she is thinking about it. Her breathing itself becomes the soft chant that is the only thing filling her mind, each inhale and exhale a separate syllable of the word: pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis. She is at once, paradoxically, bound to the penis even as she is creating it. For it is as Michelangelo said: Every city block has a penis inside it, and it is the task of the runner to discover it. And that is what she is doing: Discovering. Feeling, tracing, hugging every curve and ridge, puffing up in the <snip>


Actual.  Goosebumps.

/TY PN!
 
2014-08-06 01:49:44 PM  

SacriliciousBeerSwiller: Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x408]

The eyes are impressive.  To scale, she must have the jumping power of a flea.

Most running apps let you pause the tracking and let you resume at will. Left of the left eye you can see where she picked back up as she returned to the main path.


You keep your facts away from my flippant gags, you masher.
 
2014-08-06 01:55:31 PM  

brap: I friend of mine has taken to posting his "runs" whenever he's doing something that involves walking around in circles like mowing his lawn and vacuuming.  In a Facebook world riddled with the mundane, I find them endlessly entertaining.


I'm almost inspired enough to start running, just so I could do this... then my coworker suggested that I just use a car.  Brilliant!
 
2014-08-06 01:58:10 PM  

Theaetetus: "Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?


Unexpected direction? For you?
 
2014-08-06 01:58:55 PM  

pheelix: Pocket Ninja: Theaetetus: "Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?

Because if this woman is, in fact, drawing enormous penises across a map using the course of her run as its outline, then what that really means on a fundamental level is that this woman is thinking about nothing but a giant penis for the entire duration of her run. With each breath she takes, with each bob of her ponytail, swing of her hands, swagger of her hips, she is thinking about it. Her breathing itself becomes the soft chant that is the only thing filling her mind, each inhale and exhale a separate syllable of the word: pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis. She is at once, paradoxically, bound to the penis even as she is creating it. For it is as Michelangelo said: Every city block has a penis inside it, and it is the task of the runner to discover it. And that is what she is doing: Discovering. Feeling, tracing, hugging every curve and ridge, puffing up in the inclines, memorizing its dimensions and shape. This woman has seen a thousand penises in her mind, ten thousand, and yet still she runs, still she searches, still she tries to find that one. The perfect ideal. The one true penis whose contours, mapped now by her own body's efforts, looks back at her as if to say, Yes. It is I. You have found me, at last. And now imagine, on that one, perfect day, as she finishes her run and stands panting beside her car in the parking lot to check the course upon her phone, that breathless moment when she realizes what she's finally achieved, the tears of joy and desperate rapture wetting her cheeks, and at that moment she looks up and sees subby standing there in front of her, his own penis in hand.  And it's the same penis.

I see beauty in such things.

[encrypted-tbn3.gstatic.com image 259x194]

Throughout this post I kept imagining that scene from Wayne's World where Charlton Heston was reminiscing about an old girlfri ...


Gordon Street... That's uh, five blocks up, two over.
 
2014-08-06 02:02:10 PM  
Where's the article about the guy who draws boobs on his run?

OK, probably not as impressive.
 
2014-08-06 02:06:57 PM  
static.guim.co.uk

I wondered what made her decide to do the finger that day?

funnywebjokes.files.wordpress.com

Oh. Okay.
 
2014-08-06 02:08:03 PM  

Theaetetus: "Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?


c2.staticflickr.com

The way some runners dress, it's hard to tell.
 
2014-08-06 02:08:55 PM  

Pocket Ninja: Theaetetus: "Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?

Because if this woman is, in fact, drawing enormous penises across a map using the course of her run as its outline, then what that really means on a fundamental level is that this woman is thinking about nothing but a giant penis for the entire duration of her run. With each breath she takes, with each bob of her ponytail, swing of her hands, swagger of her hips, she is thinking about it. Her breathing itself becomes the soft chant that is the only thing filling her mind, each inhale and exhale a separate syllable of the word: pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis. She is at once, paradoxically, bound to the penis even as she is creating it. For it is as Michelangelo said: Every city block has a penis inside it, and it is the task of the runner to discover it. And that is what she is doing: Discovering. Feeling, tracing, hugging every curve and ridge, puffing up in the inclines, memorizing its dimensions and shape. This woman has seen a thousand penises in her mind, ten thousand, and yet still she runs, still she searches, still she tries to find that one. The perfect ideal. The one true penis whose contours, mapped now by her own body's efforts, looks back at her as if to say, Yes. It is I. You have found me, at last. And now imagine, on that one, perfect day, as she finishes her run and stands panting beside her car in the parking lot to check the course upon her phone, that breathless moment when she realizes what she's finally achieved, the tears of joy and desperate rapture wetting her cheeks, and at that moment she looks up and sees subby standing there in front of her, his own penis in hand.  And it's the same penis.

I see beauty in such things.


Truly a thing of beauty. It brought tears to my eye and a lump to my throat.

At least that's what she said.
 
2014-08-06 02:09:52 PM  

StrikitRich: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x392]

I laughed.


Must be a Stone Cold fan.
 
2014-08-06 02:15:32 PM  
Parallel lines are phallic?

G/F came up from TX, hadn't visited DC before. We hit the American History and Natural History museums. Then walked past the Washington Monument, WWII monument, visited the Vietnam War monument, then the Lincoln Memorial. then the Korean War memorial. Then we had lunch in the Ronald Reagan building and went back to the Lincoln Memorial and came back to the Washington Monument.

Our walk was a 6 mile long pecker with very fuzzy balls.

/ seriously, this is an article?
 
2014-08-06 02:17:19 PM  
If she ran around Boston streets, she'd wind up drawing a vagina.
 
2014-08-06 02:26:31 PM  

skinink: If she ran around Boston streets, she'd wind up drawing a vagina.


s3.amazonaws.com
 
2014-08-06 02:39:15 PM  

StrikitRich: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x392]

I laughed.


She must hate that Chinese restaurant.
 
2014-08-06 02:43:00 PM  
So I know she like penis. And now I now the routes she runs. Hmm...

/goodness look at the time
 
2014-08-06 02:49:51 PM  
I wonder if this will be made into a movie
i.perezhilton.com
 
2014-08-06 02:51:20 PM  
...it's not easy. first, you have to spend a lot of time looking for dicks on maps... countless hours of dick searching...

Usually, finding dicks isn't a problem for women.
 
2014-08-06 02:56:01 PM  

Pocket Ninja: Theaetetus: "Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?

Because if this woman is, in fact, drawing enormous penises across a map using the course of her run as its outline, then what that really means on a fundamental level is that this woman is thinking about nothing but a giant penis for the entire duration of her run. With each breath she takes, with each bob of her ponytail, swing of her hands, swagger of her hips, she is thinking about it. Her breathing itself becomes the soft chant that is the only thing filling her mind, each inhale and exhale a separate syllable of the word: pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis. She is at once, paradoxically, bound to the penis even as she is creating it. For it is as Michelangelo said: Every city block has a penis inside it, and it is the task of the runner to discover it. And that is what she is doing: Discovering. Feeling, tracing, hugging every curve and ridge, puffing up in the inclines, memorizing its dimensions and shape. This woman has seen a thousand penises in her mind, ten thousand, and yet still she runs, still she searches, still she tries to find that one. The perfect ideal. The one true penis whose contours, mapped now by her own body's efforts, looks back at her as if to say, Yes. It is I. You have found me, at last. And now imagine, on that one, perfect day, as she finishes her run and stands panting beside her car in the parking lot to check the course upon her phone, that breathless moment when she realizes what she's finally achieved, the tears of joy and desperate rapture wetting her cheeks, and at that moment she looks up and sees subby standing there in front of her, his own penis in hand.  And it's the same penis.

I see beauty in such things.


img.fark.net
 
2014-08-06 02:56:46 PM  
I know a lady runner that writes her initials or other small words with her GPS. This is a whole other level of awesome.
 
2014-08-06 03:04:14 PM  

moothemagiccow: I wish the whole drawing dicks thing would stop forever


It is childish. I am glad most of us have matured and have evulva-ed into sketching labia.
 
2014-08-06 03:07:37 PM  
Geocachers unimpressed.

media-cache-ak0.pinimg.commedia-cache-ec0.pinimg.commedia-cache-ak0.pinimg.com
img.geocaching.com
centraljerseygeocaching.net
bellmann.org
 
2014-08-06 03:12:32 PM  
starsmedia.ign.com

Approves approves of subby's headline headline.
 
2014-08-06 03:15:45 PM  
Some people are easily amused.


/How old is she, five?
 
2014-08-06 03:19:05 PM  
Some people really like running.
 
2014-08-06 03:22:03 PM  

Pocket Ninja: Theaetetus: "Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?

Because if this woman is, in fact, drawing enormous penises across a map using the course of her run as its outline, then what that really means on a fundamental level is that this woman is thinking about nothing but a giant penis for the entire duration of her run. With each breath she takes, with each bob of her ponytail, swing of her hands, swagger of her hips, she is thinking about it. Her breathing itself becomes the soft chant that is the only thing filling her mind, each inhale and exhale a separate syllable of the word: pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis. She is at once, paradoxically, bound to the penis even as she is creating it. For it is as Michelangelo said: Every city block has a penis inside it, and it is the task of the runner to discover it. And that is what she is doing: Discovering. Feeling, tracing, hugging every curve and ridge, puffing up in the inclines, memorizing its dimensions and shape. This woman has seen a thousand penises in her mind, ten thousand, and yet still she runs, still she searches, still she tries to find that one. The perfect ideal. The one true penis whose contours, mapped now by her own body's efforts, looks back at her as if to say, Yes. It is I. You have found me, at last. And now imagine, on that one, perfect day, as she finishes her run and stands panting beside her car in the parking lot to check the course upon her phone, that breathless moment when she realizes what she's finally achieved, the tears of joy and desperate rapture wetting her cheeks, and at that moment she looks up and sees subby standing there in front of her, his own penis in hand.  And it's the same penis.

I see beauty in such things.


Go on....
 
2014-08-06 03:24:41 PM  

Louisiana_Sitar_Club: [static.guim.co.uk image 460x408]

The eyes are impressive.  To scale, she must have the jumping power of a flea.


That, and the one of the middle finger were my favorites.
I thought it was a special nice touch that she turned off the tracker in order to make the eyes!!

This, is classic!!
 
2014-08-06 03:25:10 PM  

Pocket Ninja: Theaetetus: "Lady runner runner", Subby? I'll go in the unexpected direction and ask why you felt you had to emphasize that she's a lady?

Because if this woman is, in fact, drawing enormous penises across a map using the course of her run as its outline, then what that really means on a fundamental level is that this woman is thinking about nothing but a giant penis for the entire duration of her run. With each breath she takes, with each bob of her ponytail, swing of her hands, swagger of her hips, she is thinking about it. Her breathing itself becomes the soft chant that is the only thing filling her mind, each inhale and exhale a separate syllable of the word: pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis, pe-nis. She is at once, paradoxically, bound to the penis even as she is creating it. For it is as Michelangelo said: Every city block has a penis inside it, and it is the task of the runner to discover it. And that is what she is doing: Discovering. Feeling, tracing, hugging every curve and ridge, puffing up in the inclines, memorizing its dimensions and shape. This woman has seen a thousand penises in her mind, ten thousand, and yet still she runs, still she searches, still she tries to find that one. The perfect ideal. The one true penis whose contours, mapped now by her own body's efforts, looks back at her as if to say, Yes. It is I. You have found me, at last. And now imagine, on that one, perfect day, as she finishes her run and stands panting beside her car in the parking lot to check the course upon her phone, that breathless moment when she realizes what she's finally achieved, the tears of joy and desperate rapture wetting her cheeks, and at that moment she looks up and sees subby standing there in front of her, his own penis in hand.  And it's the same penis.

I see beauty in such things.


That was....
You've outdone yourself.  Seriously.  Even by your standards, superior effort.

Your prize (NSFW)
 
2014-08-06 03:27:54 PM  
It is exactly what a lady-runner runner would do.
 
2014-08-06 03:36:41 PM  

20/20: ...it's not easy. first, you have to spend a lot of time looking for dicks on maps... countless hours of dick searching...

Usually, finding dicks isn't a problem for women.


Yes, but most of them aren't big enough to show up on maps. Mine shows up on Google Street View. Don't ask me how I know.
 
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