Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Guardian)   Today's Fark ready police quote: "On a sliding scale we think we may be looking at an idiot rather than an international terrorist"   (theguardian.com) divider line 60
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

9271 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Aug 2014 at 1:23 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



60 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-08-06 12:00:09 AM  
In related news: Manchester police just discovered Hanlon's Razor.
 
2014-08-06 12:47:42 AM  
If there was a bomb on the plane, just WTF was a fighter going to do about it?
 
2014-08-06 01:29:11 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: If there was a bomb on the plane, just WTF was a fighter going to do about it?


Shoot down the plane, obviously.  It's like "You can't fire me!  I quit!"
 
2014-08-06 01:31:10 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: If there was a bomb on the plane, just WTF was a fighter going to do about it?


Force the pilot to keep his aircraft over an unpopulated area, so it doesn't rain Airbus parts over Manchester.
 
2014-08-06 01:31:32 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: If there was a bomb on the plane, just WTF was a fighter going to do about it?


The only thing I can think of is that it's a measure to prevent another 9/11 style attack in case terrorists take control of the plane.  Had it started to veer off towards a major landmark while refusing to answer radio calls I can imagine an order being given to just shoot it down over a field somewhere.
 
2014-08-06 01:32:39 AM  
Jiminy cricket, somebody please fix that abortionate headline.
 
2014-08-06 01:33:07 AM  
Wow. Somebody really doesn't want Qatar to have the 2022 World Cup.

I mean, besides generally everybody.
 
2014-08-06 01:52:07 AM  
Surely you can't be serious.
 
2014-08-06 01:53:19 AM  
www.trigonman3.com
 
2014-08-06 01:58:05 AM  
What's his fark handle?
 
2014-08-06 01:59:53 AM  

Kalashinator: MaudlinMutantMollusk: If there was a bomb on the plane, just WTF was a fighter going to do about it?

Force the pilot to keep his aircraft over an unpopulated area, so it doesn't rain Airbus parts over Manchester.


Yeah but if they drop it on Manchester, there's a good chance the pilot could get a two-fer.
 
2014-08-06 02:02:10 AM  

MustardTiger: Surely you can't be serious.


img.fark.net

/And don't call me Shirley
 
2014-08-06 02:06:39 AM  
I watched that plane being escorted to Manchester Airport. I live in Stockport. I wasn't sure WTF was going on. I'd just that moment, disembarked a bus in the town centre as the Qatar plane shot overhead lower than normal and it was being accompanied by an RAF typhoon - armed to the teeth and ready to bring a plane down - I kid you not. Its funny how much noise a jet fighter can generate... it was darting left & right, weaving as though to guide the plane in - one deviation from the flightpath and it could've ended up being such a different story.

Glad it ended in a positive way. My inner plane fanatic self realised  you've 'not been to any air shows for some considerable time'. I wouldn't know the difference between all these fighter planes without a guide book showing me what's what.
We're made of stronger stuff here. We carry on as normal until such time as is deemed right to panic. Some locals were scared but the rest of us, well, we stood up, brushed ourselves down and carried on. It's how we do things.
 
2014-08-06 02:10:52 AM  
Subby's headline is not READ for Prime Time.

/For the love of Gawd, Subby, if you are gonna call someone an idiot in your headline make sure you proof the thing before hitting publish.
 
2014-08-06 02:19:16 AM  
I'd imagine, the Manchester police think that a lot.
 
2014-08-06 02:23:51 AM  
He could be the stupidest terrorist on the face of the Earth. Perhaps they should shoot him.
 
2014-08-06 02:24:56 AM  
Why not both?

upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-08-06 02:28:16 AM  

quatchi: Subby's headline is not READ for Prime Time.

/For the love of Gawd, Subby, if you are gonna call someone an idiot in your headline make sure you proof the thing before hitting publish.


If you are going to criticize someone for their grammar, it's best to make sure you don't have any glaring typos in your correction.

/pet peeve
 
2014-08-06 02:34:24 AM  

Kalashinator: MaudlinMutantMollusk: If there was a bomb on the plane, just WTF was a fighter going to do about it?

Force the pilot to keep his aircraft over an unpopulated area, so it doesn't rain Airbus parts over Manchester.


I don't quite see how you can force the situation with a fighter jet vs. Jumbo.  If I was in the jumbo, I'd just keep my course, and if the fighter took me down, well that's where we crashed.
 
2014-08-06 02:37:36 AM  

gwenners: quatchi: Subby's headline is not READ for Prime Time.

/For the love of Gawd, Subby, if you are gonna call someone an idiot in your headline make sure you proof the thing before hitting publish.

If you are going to criticize someone for their grammar, it's best to make sure you don't have any glaring typos in your correction.

/pet peeve


Spelling isn't grammar and there aren't any typos in my post.

/Subby?
 
2014-08-06 02:37:37 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: Wow. Somebody really doesn't want Qatar to have the 2022 World Cup.

I mean, besides generally everybody.


Come on, who doesn't want to play/watch soccer in 100+ degree weather?
 
2014-08-06 02:43:22 AM  

quatchi: gwenners: quatchi: Subby's headline is not READ for Prime Time.

/For the love of Gawd, Subby, if you are gonna call someone an idiot in your headline make sure you proof the thing before hitting publish.

If you are going to criticize someone for their grammar, it's best to make sure you don't have any glaring typos in your correction.

/pet peeve

there aren't any typos in my post.

/Subby?


Are you sure you're *READY* to admit there might be a typo in there?

/nope
 
2014-08-06 02:44:32 AM  

CoRrUpTeDbUdGiE: We're made of stronger stuff here. We carry on as normal until such time as is deemed right to panic. Some locals were scared but the rest of us, well, we stood up, brushed ourselves down and carried on. It's how we do things.y


That is one thing I truly have to give to you brits (logical assumption). You essentially had a terrorist (by todays standards) civil war going on for 20+ years and acted like it was Thursday afternoon.

Cafe get blown up, stop, mourn, move on. Wash, rinse, repeat. (not being callous but stuff like that happened a lot)

We have one major terrorist attack and all of a sudden we want to turn two countries into glass.

I am not belittling the loss of live in either instance. Just the response was very different. If Texas tried to pull the stuff Ireland did, there would not be a whole lot left to mess with.
 
2014-08-06 02:46:37 AM  

gwenners: quatchi: Subby's headline is not READ for Prime Time.

/For the love of Gawd, Subby, if you are gonna call someone an idiot in your headline make sure you proof the thing before hitting publish.

If you are going to criticize someone for their grammar, it's best to make sure you don't have any glaring typos in your correction.

/pet peeve


If you're going to be pedantic enough to biatch about typos, at least use the British spelling of criticise in reflection of the origin of the article.
 
2014-08-06 02:51:35 AM  

gwenners: Are you sure you're *READY* to admit there might be a typo in there?


Are you saying spelling "ready" in caps to emphasize the mistake was a typo?

If so you are a very silly, petty, pedantic and incorrect person.
 
2014-08-06 02:56:09 AM  

quatchi: gwenners: quatchi: Subby's headline is not READ for Prime Time.

/For the love of Gawd, Subby, if you are gonna call someone an idiot in your headline make sure you proof the thing before hitting publish.

If you are going to criticize someone for their grammar, it's best to make sure you don't have any glaring typos in your correction.

/pet peeve

Spelling isn't grammar and there aren't any typos in my post.

/Subby?


spelling is part of grammar ... look it up

/was the headline fixed or is that the headline that people are QQing about ?
 
2014-08-06 02:57:12 AM  

gwenners: quatchi: gwenners: quatchi: Subby's headline is not READ for Prime Time.

/For the love of Gawd, Subby, if you are gonna call someone an idiot in your headline make sure you proof the thing before hitting publish.

If you are going to criticize someone for their grammar, it's best to make sure you don't have any glaring typos in your correction.

/pet peeve

there aren't any typos in my post.

/Subby?

Are you sure you're *READY* to admit there might be a typo in there?

/nope


Technically, "read" isn't misspelled.
 
2014-08-06 02:58:24 AM  

quatchi: gwenners: Are you sure you're *READY* to admit there might be a typo in there?

Are you saying spelling "ready" in caps to emphasize the mistake was a typo?

If so you are a very silly, petty, pedantic and incorrect person.


Y don't you READ it again.
 
2014-08-06 03:00:35 AM  
they have mistaken his cunning for weakness.
 
2014-08-06 03:07:51 AM  

namatad: spelling is part of grammar ... look it up


Spelling, grammar, and punctuation are three separate things.

/Yeah, Oxford comma.
//Wanna fight about it?


was the headline fixed or is that the headline that people are QQing about ?

Fixed now. Originally read "Fark read headline..."
 
2014-08-06 03:13:08 AM  
What exactly was the thing he did that raised alarms? He went to the toilet for 20 minutes then when he came back the air hostess said "you're very naughty, this is very serious", and he shuffled his feet and looked at them like a boy being told off?

If they can say to him "that's a criminal offence", but then walk off and leave him in his seat unattended until they land then he can't have been doing anything with any devices. So I'm guessing he did a massive poo.

When the story broke, with all the customary "breaking news" paraphernaelia that comes with this crap, the news people said "it was a credible threat, there was a genuine risk situation", so I assumed it was proper terrorists. Guess the news people were just trying to make it sound scarier than it was.
 
2014-08-06 03:29:58 AM  

Slaxl: What exactly was the thing he did that raised alarms?


Um...

the pilot on board flight QR23 from Doha to Manchester notified authorities he had been handed a note from a passenger about "a possible device on board".

Your welcome.

/have at thee, Grammar Nazis!
 
2014-08-06 03:31:44 AM  

quatchi: namatad: spelling is part of grammar ... look it up

Spelling, grammar, and punctuation are three separate things.

/Yeah, Oxford comma.
//Wanna fight about it?

was the headline fixed or is that the headline that people are QQing about ?

Fixed now. Originally read "Fark read headline..."


FFS - typos in headlines make farkers crazy ...
 
2014-08-06 03:42:06 AM  

namatad: FFS - typos in headlines make farkers crazy ...


Technically that would be "crazier".

But I get your point.
 
2014-08-06 04:06:38 AM  

fusillade762: Slaxl: What exactly was the thing he did that raised alarms?

Um...

the pilot on board flight QR23 from Doha to Manchester notified authorities he had been handed a note from a passenger about "a possible device on board".

Your welcome.

/have at thee, Grammar Nazis!


Ah. In my defence I'd only just woken up. Which is the defence I suggest this guy goes with.
 
2014-08-06 04:23:02 AM  
 
2014-08-06 04:30:47 AM  

Burchill: Update - He's been sectioned under the mental health act.

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/aug/06/qatar-airways-bomb-ho ax -suspect-sectioned-manchester-airport


"Sectioned" makes it sound like he's been peeled and cut apart like a grapefruit.
 
2014-08-06 04:36:07 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: Burchill: Update - He's been sectioned under the mental health act.

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/aug/06/qatar-airways-bomb-ho ax -suspect-sectioned-manchester-airport

"Sectioned" makes it sound like he's been peeled and cut apart like a grapefruit.


Well he will be getting a lobotomy shortly so part of him is being sectioned off.
 
2014-08-06 05:04:09 AM  

Boo_Guy: Danger Avoid Death: Burchill: Update - He's been sectioned under the mental health act.

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/aug/06/qatar-airways-bomb-ho ax -suspect-sectioned-manchester-airport

"Sectioned" makes it sound like he's been peeled and cut apart like a grapefruit.

Well he will be getting a lobotomy shortly so part of him is being sectioned off.


Do they still lobotomize people?
 
2014-08-06 05:18:29 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: Boo_Guy: Danger Avoid Death: Burchill: Update - He's been sectioned under the mental health act.

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/aug/06/qatar-airways-bomb-ho ax -suspect-sectioned-manchester-airport

"Sectioned" makes it sound like he's been peeled and cut apart like a grapefruit.

Well he will be getting a lobotomy shortly so part of him is being sectioned off.

Do they still lobotomize people?


I don't think it's done anywhere anymore, it was shown to be a BS practice. It started being banned all over in the 70's  heck even the soviet union said it was wrong and banned it.
 
2014-08-06 05:25:58 AM  

ski9600: Kalashinator: MaudlinMutantMollusk: If there was a bomb on the plane, just WTF was a fighter going to do about it?

Force the pilot to keep his aircraft over an unpopulated area, so it doesn't rain Airbus parts over Manchester.

I don't quite see how you can force the situation with a fighter jet vs. Jumbo.  If I was in the jumbo, I'd just keep my course, and if the fighter took me down, well that's where we crashed the Russian missiles took us down.


FTFY
 
2014-08-06 05:34:42 AM  

fusillade762: In related news: Manchester police just discovered Hanlon's Razor.


Is that like Occam's Razor except with stupid?
 
2014-08-06 06:03:21 AM  

gggoddammitt: fusillade762: In related news: Manchester police just discovered Hanlon's Razor.

Is that like Occam's Razor except with stupid?


Precisely. I assume your inability to look it up is due to your incompetence and not due to your attempt to annoy me.
 
2014-08-06 06:14:50 AM  

CoRrUpTeDbUdGiE: I watched that plane being escorted to Manchester Airport. I live in Stockport. I wasn't sure WTF was going on. I'd just that moment, disembarked a bus in the town centre as the Qatar plane shot overhead lower than normal and it was being accompanied by an RAF typhoon - armed to the teeth and ready to bring a plane down - I kid you not. Its funny how much noise a jet fighter can generate... it was darting left & right, weaving as though to guide the plane in - one deviation from the flightpath and it could've ended up being such a different story.

Glad it ended in a positive way. My inner plane fanatic self realised  you've 'not been to any air shows for some considerable time'. I wouldn't know the difference between all these fighter planes without a guide book showing me what's what.
We're made of stronger stuff here. We carry on as normal until such time as is deemed right to panic. Some locals were scared but the rest of us, well, we stood up, brushed ourselves down and carried on. It's how we do things.


You're so brave to stand up and carry on in the face of an idiot making empty threats.

/That started as snark, but I'm in the US...
 
2014-08-06 06:36:25 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: Burchill: Update - He's been sectioned under the mental health act.

http://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2014/aug/06/qatar-airways-bomb-ho ax -suspect-sectioned-manchester-airport

"Sectioned" makes it sound like he's been peeled and cut apart like a grapefruit.


Sectioned means being involuntarily committed to psychiatric care, from the authority granted under the mental health act - under section 2 of the law for assessment by professionals, which can be up to 4 weeks, or section 3 of that law (which is initally up to 6 months before it has to be reviewed (or in this case possibly section 35 or 36 which are the equivalent sections for people that are being investigated for serious crimes).
 
2014-08-06 06:42:51 AM  

fusillade762: gggoddammitt: fusillade762: In related news: Manchester police just discovered Hanlon's Razor.

Is that like Occam's Razor except with stupid?

Precisely. I assume your inability to look it up is due to your incompetence and not due to your attempt to annoy me.


My incompetence is completely unrelated to using google. Wanna hear a knock-knock joke?
 
2014-08-06 07:10:35 AM  
I hope he has to pay back every penny that the response cost. He's almost 50: that ought to keep him occupied for the rest of his life.


/jet fuel ain't cheap
/nor are new trousers for 200 passengers
 
2014-08-06 07:38:15 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: "Sectioned" makes it sound like he's been peeled and cut apart like a grapefruit.


It means he's off to the funny farm for evaluation. From his point of view it's probably a good thing too since it eventually means he'll be released without charges.
 
2014-08-06 07:42:11 AM  

gggoddammitt: fusillade762: In related news: Manchester police just discovered Hanlon's Razor.

Is that like Occam's Razor except with stupid?


It's like Occam's Razor but it has two blades.
 
2014-08-06 07:43:36 AM  
Well I got my laugh for the day, time to get a movin' along.
 
Displayed 50 of 60 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report