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(International Business Times)   For all you hypochondriacs out there: How to know if you've got ebola. Initial flu-like symptoms? Yeah, you're dead   ( ibtimes.co.in) divider line
    More: Scary  
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1338 clicks; posted to Geek » on 05 Aug 2014 at 7:02 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



29 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-08-05 05:49:31 PM  
i59.tinypic.comView Full Size
 
2014-08-05 06:04:09 PM  

fusillade762: [i59.tinypic.com image 600x641]


This needs to be made into a poster and be plastered all over the goddamn country.
 
2014-08-05 07:09:50 PM  
It's important to remember why ebola is scary and dangerous. The effects are incredibly scary because of the blood coming out of everything. It's pretty deadly, with something like an 80% mortality rate. It is not scary because of its contagious properties. Unless you're eating a diet of African fruit bats and the bodily fluids of ebola victims, you don't have anything to worry about.
 
2014-08-05 07:11:51 PM  

TheOmni: Unless you're eating a diet of African fruit bats and the bodily fluids of ebola victims, you don't have anything to worry about.


This should've been made clear before I started my African fruit bat and bodily fluids of Ebola victims diet.
 
2014-08-05 07:15:46 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: TheOmni: Unless you're eating a diet of African fruit bats and the bodily fluids of ebola victims, you don't have anything to worry about.

This should've been made clear before I started my African fruit bat and bodily fluids of Ebola victims diet.


Are we ok if we stick to either, or?
 
2014-08-05 07:19:07 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: TheOmni: Unless you're eating a diet of African fruit bats and the bodily fluids of ebola victims, you don't have anything to worry about.

This should've been made clear before I started my African fruit bat and bodily fluids of Ebola victims diet.


God damn it. That'll teach me to listen to my wife and her crazy weight loss ideas.
 
2014-08-05 07:19:13 PM  
I had a rough case of ebola last week, but I took some NyQuil and got better.
 
2014-08-05 07:22:40 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: TheOmni: Unless you're eating a diet of African fruit bats and the bodily fluids of ebola victims, you don't have anything to worry about.

This should've been made clear before I started my African fruit bat and bodily fluids of Ebola victims diet.


You should know that all these fad diets have a catch.
 
2014-08-05 07:25:07 PM  

TheOmni: Jaden Smith First of His Name: TheOmni: Unless you're eating a diet of African fruit bats and the bodily fluids of ebola victims, you don't have anything to worry about.

This should've been made clear before I started my African fruit bat and bodily fluids of Ebola victims diet.

You should know that all these fad diets have a catch.


At least it's better than "Paleo".
 
2014-08-05 07:28:06 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: TheOmni: Unless you're eating a diet of African fruit bats and the bodily fluids of ebola victims, you don't have anything to worry about.

This should've been made clear before I started my African fruit bat and bodily fluids of Ebola victims diet.


"One weird trick for  permanent weight loss works  60-90% of the time! Start seeing results in one to three weeks!  CDC hates this!"

Nope, nothing inaccurate here.
 
2014-08-05 07:36:16 PM  
Foolproof Ebola detection method:

Hold your breathe underwater for 18 minutes. If you can, you don't have Ebola.
 
2014-08-05 07:41:18 PM  
Every super-deadly disease starts with flu-like symptoms.

Just like every exotic animal tastes like chicken.
 
2014-08-05 07:41:52 PM  
If you think you have Ebola, eat lots of beets.
 
2014-08-05 07:41:56 PM  

Thudfark: Foolproof Ebola detection method:

Hold your breathe underwater for 18 minutes. If you can, you don't have Ebola.


But you'll still have to be burnt 'cuz you're a witch.
 
Oak
2014-08-05 07:42:07 PM  

BMFPitt: I had a rough case of ebola last week, but I took some NyQuil and got better.


I've stocked up on Robitussin, just in case I find myself licking Ebola corpses at some point.
 
2014-08-05 08:06:34 PM  
DONT TOUCH YOUR FRIEND!
 
2014-08-05 08:31:45 PM  

BMFPitt: I had a rough case of ebola last week, but I took some NyQuil and got better.


Robitussin cure everything
 
2014-08-05 08:39:26 PM  

Parthenogenetic: "One weird trick for permanent weight loss works 60-90% of the time! Start seeing results in one to three weeks! CDC hates this!"

Nope, nothing inaccurate here.


So they finally improved on the tapeworm diet!
 
2014-08-05 08:42:07 PM  
If you feel yourself coming down with a case of the Ebola, you merely need to consume the dried testicles of an albino virgin boy. They taste a bit nutty, and the ground up dried testicles of an albino virgin boy can be mixed with your favorite tea for a more invigorating experience. Remember to buy reputable brands of dried testicles of an albino virgin boy, such as Siemens or Tillicum dried testicles of an albino virgin boy.
 
2014-08-05 08:55:03 PM  

TheOmni: It's important to remember why ebola is scary and dangerous. The effects are incredibly scary because of the blood coming out of everything. It's pretty deadly, with something like an 80% mortality rate. It is not scary because of its contagious properties. Unless you're eating a diet of African fruit bats and the bodily fluids of ebola victims, you don't have anything to worry about.


But I'm on Atkins.
 
2014-08-05 09:13:27 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.comView Full Size
 
2014-08-05 10:10:40 PM  

baconbeard: TheOmni: Jaden Smith First of His Name: TheOmni: Unless you're eating a diet of African fruit bats and the bodily fluids of ebola victims, you don't have anything to worry about.

This should've been made clear before I started my African fruit bat and bodily fluids of Ebola victims diet.

You should know that all these fad diets have a catch.

At least it's better than "Paleo".


Technically, fruit bats and human flesh/fluids would have been on many a caveman's menu.
 
2014-08-05 10:33:40 PM  
While it's fun to start talking world ending pandemic / Walking Dead scenario / run for the hills, it's pretty damn amusing to watch people on Facebook taking this waaaay too seriously.  It's all ignorance and fear which makes it no different than the victims who are succumbing to it in Africa.

Alex Jones is really stirring up the pot on this.
 
2014-08-05 11:21:00 PM  

TheOmni: It's important to remember why ebola is scary and dangerous. The effects are incredibly scary because of the blood coming out of everything. It's pretty deadly, with something like an 80% mortality rate. It is not scary because of its contagious properties. Unless you're eating a diet of African fruit bats and the bodily fluids of ebola victims, you don't have anything to worry about.


Obviously you haven't been on Facebook.

Ebola is not only airborne, it's streaming across the border carried by legions of illegal children.
 
2014-08-06 06:23:02 AM  
games.torrentsnack.comView Full Size
 
2014-08-06 06:57:54 AM  

Somaticasual: Parthenogenetic: "One weird trick for permanent weight loss works 60-90% of the time! Start seeing results in one to three weeks! CDC hates this!"

Nope, nothing inaccurate here.

So they finally improved on the tapeworm diet!


The South Bronx diet is the only way to lose weight fast.
 
2014-08-06 07:32:46 AM  

TheOmni: Unless you're eating a diet of African fruit bats and the bodily fluids of ebola victims, you don't have anything to worry about.


While I'm not advocating the panic, this is over-simplistic and really not any more accurate than the claims of airborne diseases. You -can- contract through indirect contact with contaminated surfaces. Someone sneezes (it is transmitted through mucus membranes) and it can last on the surface where those disease up to 5 days at room temperature.

As long as proper protocol is followed we'll be fine. My slight concern is that this is the same CDC and Emory university that exposed people to live Anthrax not too long ago. Mistakes happen. It seems an unnecessary risk to take to bring a disease never known to the Western Hemisphere and bring it here. If shiat goes wrong, which is a big if, there's no putting the toothpaste back in the tube.
 
2014-08-06 12:49:13 PM  
Look are these Ebola corpses gonna reanimate? if not don't get my hopes up or waste my time
 
2014-08-06 03:59:46 PM  
It would appear ebola is the new disease-of-the-week favored by middle-schoolers as an excuse to
stay home.  (As were swine flu in 1976, Russian flu in 1978, SARS in 2003, MERS earlier this year,
and bird flu, Lyme disease, and West Nile virus anytime some dimwit TV news department feels
the need to scare people into watching.  "Is our water contaminated? Film at 11!" /
"Is our water contaminated?......No.")
 
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