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(io9)   Mark Wahlberg rumored to be Steve Austin in the Six Million Dollar Man remake. Now all they need is a 5'10" actor to play Bigfoot   (io9.com) divider line 70
    More: Misc, Six Million Dollar Man, Mark Wahlberg, Jim Carrey, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kevin Smith, Bryan Singer  
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1143 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 05 Aug 2014 at 3:46 AM (52 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



70 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-05 02:41:28 AM  
Yeah, but who will replace Flip Wilson as a Soviet-controlled killer robot?

/jumped the megaladon with that one
 
2014-08-05 02:49:59 AM  
Probably rebuild him with Legos, too

/snapsnapsnapsnapsnapsnap
 
2014-08-05 03:57:08 AM  
Who's playing Brock Sampson?
 
2014-08-05 04:00:49 AM  
Hey Masketron, Telly your mother I said hi!
 
2014-08-05 04:09:33 AM  
Just give the part to Tom Hardy. He makes any film watchable, except when you cover half his face with a breathing mask.
 
2014-08-05 04:14:55 AM  
Hi Sasquatch. You're a yeti, that's very interesting. I produced Entourage.
 
2014-08-05 04:25:00 AM  
Keep it closer to the original novel (Martin Caidin's Cyborg), and this could be pretty good.
 
2014-08-05 04:26:38 AM  
Bionic, huh? Let's see *how* bionic Link
 
2014-08-05 04:57:56 AM  
I bet that dude who got his eye punched out him wishes he had received a bionic eye.
 
2014-08-05 05:04:56 AM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: Probably rebuild him with Legos, too

/snapsnapsnapsnapsnapsnap


With the price of Lego now, it would cost a lot more than six million dollars.
 
2014-08-05 05:42:15 AM  
Will they also bring back the bionic German Shepherd?
 
2014-08-05 06:03:23 AM  
Yeah , and who's going to play Oscar Goldman?
upload.wikimedia.org

You don't find a forehead like that every day, you know.
 
2014-08-05 06:13:13 AM  

Snapper Carr: Who's playing Brock Sampson?


www.wwehunks.com
 
2014-08-05 06:19:14 AM  

skinink: Just give the part to Tom Hardy. He makes any film watchable, except when you cover half his face with a breathing mask.


Or when he's Patrick Stewart's clone.
 
2014-08-05 07:29:39 AM  

eas81: Snapper Carr: Who's playing Brock Sampson?

[www.wwehunks.com image 630x630]


I don't think they'll let Paul Heyman read his lines for him.
 
2014-08-05 07:39:25 AM  
6 million? Don't think they can rebuilt him at that cost, wouldn't be consider 6 billion now?
 
2014-08-05 07:45:12 AM  

LonMead: Yeah , and who's going to play Oscar Goldman?
[upload.wikimedia.org image 463x599]

You don't find a forehead like that every day, you know.


Tom Cruise?

/In my defence, I am due for an eye test.
 
2014-08-05 07:58:59 AM  
static.tvgcdn.net
 
2014-08-05 08:09:01 AM  

LonMead: Yeah , and who's going to play Oscar Goldman?
[upload.wikimedia.org image 463x599]

You don't find a forehead like that every day, you know.


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-05 08:28:29 AM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: LonMead: Yeah , and who's going to play Oscar Goldman?
[upload.wikimedia.org image 463x599]

You don't find a forehead like that every day, you know.


Good call
 
2014-08-05 08:29:18 AM  
 
2014-08-05 08:45:56 AM  
Steve Austin, a frikkin astronaut, can you believe it? A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology and stuff. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Bettah, strongah, fastah, wicked farkin awesome.
 
2014-08-05 08:49:39 AM  
mantiseye.com

Is it a love story?
 
2014-08-05 08:50:10 AM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: LonMead: Yeah , and who's going to play Oscar Goldman?
[upload.wikimedia.org image 463x599]

You don't find a forehead like that every day, you know.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 347x527]


Particularly with the way Goldman was originally presented (Darren McGavin in the pilot, and he had another name... Oliver something).

Now we need Dr. Wells.
 
2014-08-05 08:50:59 AM  
How tall is the ugly Kardashian?

/no, the other one
 
2014-08-05 08:53:49 AM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: LonMead: Yeah , and who's going to play Oscar Goldman?
[upload.wikimedia.org image 463x599]

You don't find a forehead like that every day, you know.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 347x527]


I love that he played Sven the gay hotel clerk in Fear and Loathing:

i11.photobucket.com
 
2014-08-05 09:05:48 AM  
No.

Just....

No.

To emphasize my point, here's a picture of Jamie Sommers dressed as a nun:

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-05 09:14:23 AM  

knowledgedigest.files.wordpress.comBeerBear: 6 million? Don't think they can rebuilt him at that cost, wouldn't be consider 6 billion now?


It could be done.
 
2014-08-05 09:19:18 AM  
And of course to make it "hip" they'll replace veteran, wizened doctor Rudy Wells with a young Doogie Howser type geek/hacker.
 
2014-08-05 09:19:39 AM  

tricycleracer: Monkeyfark Ridiculous: LonMead: Yeah , and who's going to play Oscar Goldman?
[upload.wikimedia.org image 463x599]

You don't find a forehead like that every day, you know.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 347x527]

I love that he played Sven the gay hotel clerk in Fear and Loathing:

[i11.photobucket.com image 850x474]


Freakshow in Harold and Kumar Go To Whitecastle too...
i11.photobucket.com

The guy has range.
 
2014-08-05 09:34:33 AM  
The obvious choice for Bigfoot would then be Dwayne Johnson.
 
2014-08-05 09:35:48 AM  

skinink: Just give the part to Tom Hardy. He makes any film watchable, except when you cover half his face with a breathing mask.


No one cared who he was until he put on the mask.
 
2014-08-05 09:37:07 AM  
If they rewrite the story to make him a complete cyborg I might find Wahlberg's acting to be believable.
 
2014-08-05 09:40:12 AM  
Wahlberg is at his best when he plays a total idiot. Pain and Gain was WAY better than I expected it to be.
 
2014-08-05 09:41:24 AM  
Adam Sandler as Bigfoot. If you ever wanted to know how funny a retarded Bigfoot would be in a movie you can find out in next summer's blockbuster Happy Bigfoot
 
2014-08-05 09:54:56 AM  

DjangoStonereaver: No.

Just....

No.

To emphasize my point, here's a picture of Jamie Sommers dressed as a nun:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 361x481]


To not emphasize any point whatsoever, here's a picture of Kate Upton as a nun
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-05 09:57:30 AM  

Orgasmatron138: Wahlberg is at his best when he plays a total idiot.

img.youtube.com


"WORD!"
 
2014-08-05 09:58:44 AM  

Snapper Carr: Who's playing Brock Sampson?



Mark Wahlberg as Steve Austin.
Dirk Diggler as Brock Landers as Brock Sampson...

25.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-08-05 10:00:26 AM  
They should cast stone Cold as Steve Austin.
 
2014-08-05 10:01:10 AM  
Mark Wahlberg? Why would they pick a hack like that when they could have Matt Damon or Ben Affleck?
 
2014-08-05 10:16:37 AM  
Who will be his unknown stuntman?
 
2014-08-05 10:30:26 AM  
Death Probe FTW
 
2014-08-05 10:35:31 AM  

BeerBear: 6 million? Don't think they can rebuilt him at that cost, wouldn't be consider 6 billion now?


I think I would be more inclined to see it if they made it a comedy where he's constantly breaking down and falling apart.
 
2014-08-05 10:36:00 AM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: LonMead: Yeah , and who's going to play Oscar Goldman?
[upload.wikimedia.org image 463x599]

You don't find a forehead like that every day, you know.

[4.bp.blogspot.com image 347x527]


Actually...that's perfect.
 
2014-08-05 10:41:38 AM  

LucklessWonder: They should cast stone Cold as Steve Austin.


WHAT?!
 
2014-08-05 10:43:04 AM  

Tom_Slick: Who will be his unknown stuntman?


I see what you did there.

/ remake that instead.
 
2014-08-05 10:47:21 AM  
Prediction: Whoever ends up staring in this movie, it will somehow cost $200 million to make and be completely awful.
 
2014-08-05 10:49:53 AM  
Steve Austin, a frikkin astronaut, can you believe it? A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology and stuff. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic man. Steve Austin will be that man. Better than he was before. Bettah, strongah, fastah, wicked farkin awesome.

LOL
 
2014-08-05 10:50:49 AM  

thornhill: Prediction: Whoever ends up staring in this movie, it will somehow cost $200 million to make and be completely awful.


I get the feeling Wahlberg will do a lot of staring... Probably with his jaw hanging open.
 
2014-08-05 10:52:15 AM  

MaxTigar: Tom_Slick: Who will be his unknown stuntman?

I see what you did there.

/ remake that instead.


With Kate Upton replacing Heather Thomas and Jennifer Lawrence replacing Markie Post. Though I don't think JL is top heavy enough to replace Markie Post.
 
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