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(Washington Post)   The newspaper that brought down a President publishes a self-absorbed column on motherhood featuring the words "powerful pregnancy crotch sweat." Somewhere Woodward and Bernstein are rolling over in their graves   (washingtonpost.com ) divider line
    More: Asinine, prenatal exposure  
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3948 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Aug 2014 at 2:53 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



110 Comments     (+0 »)
 
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2014-08-04 12:44:02 PM  
Woodward and Bernstein are both alive subby. I see your point though.
 
2014-08-04 01:08:39 PM  
Rolling over in their crotch sweat.
 
2014-08-04 01:12:54 PM  
The author is very annoying. If I were her kid, I would make a like a fetus and head out.
 
2014-08-04 01:41:50 PM  
1. You can eat whatever you want.  This is advice from before the days when the average woman was already a fat f*ck before getting pregnant.
2. You'll glow.  Lots of women do.  Not this one, though.
3. Take it easy! See #1.
4. You'll want sex more.  This is more of a 2nd trimester thing.
5. It is natural and you'll get through it.  Well, she got pregnant and she's still here, so...
 
2014-08-04 02:10:52 PM  
l.wigflip.com
 
2014-08-04 02:46:00 PM  

rkiller1: The author is very annoying. If I were her kid, I would make a like a fetus and head out.


This kind of made me laugh:

This didn't happen only to me - I'm not a monster - it also happened to my friend. So, it's science.
 
2014-08-04 02:56:04 PM  
Did the Washington Post only do political reporting in the 70's?
 
2014-08-04 02:56:12 PM  
Before I got pregnant, I told my best friend: "I can't wait to be pregnant. I'm going to get so fat and not even care and take prenatal yoga, and it will be so easy, and I'm going to make a million pregnant friends."


That's the first sentence. fark off, lady.
 
2014-08-04 02:56:18 PM  
The Bezos Times: hey, at least we're not the Moonies!
 
2014-08-04 02:56:32 PM  
Your blog sucks!
 
2014-08-04 02:57:21 PM  
So we just need to parrot Sarah Palin to get a green light these days?
 
2014-08-04 02:59:16 PM  
Wait until she discovers "Cafe Mom".
 
2014-08-04 02:59:24 PM  

swingbozo: So we just need to parrot Sarah Palin to get a green light these days?


No. You need a parasailn' parrot to get green lights these days.
 
2014-08-04 03:00:00 PM  
Who is the article supposed to be speaking to and how is it supposed to help them?
 
2014-08-04 03:00:21 PM  
The Post today would have turned Woodward and Bernstein over to G. Gordon...
 
2014-08-04 03:00:36 PM  
Her mommy blog already sucks.
 
2014-08-04 03:01:11 PM  
"Pregnancy makes you have to buy all new underwear because you destroyed all the pairs you have with your powerful pregnancy crotch sweat."

From what I've seen on the internet and Japanese vending machines she could have a real nice secondary income by selling those.
 
2014-08-04 03:01:19 PM  
The pregnancy advice people promise cool stuff like getting fat and having swollen feet and craving pickles with ice cream and pork gravy. I never got fat, my feet did nothing magical, and all I craved was fresh fruit. farking liars.
 
2014-08-04 03:02:05 PM  
Who would even want a million pregnant friends? At any given time half of them would be crying and the other half screaming.
 
2014-08-04 03:03:04 PM  
She should have gone for the alliterative "powerful pregnancy pussy precipitation".
 
2014-08-04 03:05:01 PM  

drdank: She should have gone for the alliterative "powerful pregnancy pussy precipitation".


I think you can shorten that to "P-Funk."

record.ticro.com
 
2014-08-04 03:05:06 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: Who would even want a million pregnant friends? At any given time half of them would be crying and the other half screaming.


Or posting fake threads on TFD just to be a jerk. Or maybe that was just me.
 
2014-08-04 03:05:17 PM  

factoryconnection: 1. You can eat whatever you want.  This is advice from before the days when the average woman was already a fat f*ck before getting pregnant.
2. You'll glow.  Lots of women do.  Not this one, though.
3. Take it easy! See #1.
4. You'll want sex more.  This is more of a 2nd trimester thing.
5. It is natural and you'll get through it.  Well, she got pregnant and she's still here, so...


Regarding item #4. YMMV. Not every woman experiences that and not every pregnancy produces that. Let's not get anyone's hopes up.
 
2014-08-04 03:05:52 PM  
Ha Ha! Wow, she's really keepin' it real!
 
2014-08-04 03:05:55 PM  

Arkanaut: Did the Washington Post only do political reporting in the 70's?


Political reporting and quaaludes. Everyone was doing quaaludes in the 1970's. It was the law.
 
2014-08-04 03:06:31 PM  

Warthog: [l.wigflip.com image 850x566]


OMG that is hilarious!!  Thank you for that one.
 
2014-08-04 03:06:51 PM  

Boo_Guy: "Pregnancy makes you have to buy all new underwear because you destroyed all the pairs you have with your powerful pregnancy crotch sweat."

From what I've seen on the internet and Japanese vending machines she could have a real nice secondary income by selling those.


There goes my appetite.
 
2014-08-04 03:06:52 PM  

Arkanaut: Did the Washington Post only do political reporting in the 70's?


They barely did it then. Watergate is their one scoop, ever, about government malfeasance. Mainly, they build cozy relationships with politicos and go to the same cocktail parties. Most Washington scandals are broken by the Washington bureaus of out-of-town papers. Hardly any real scandals (other than sex gossip) are ever broken any more, because ubiquitous PR policies have pretty much eliminated news sources except for anonymous leakers with an ax to grind.

You've got two primary sources of breaking "news": press releases polished to a fine glow of self-congratulation or rationalized blame-denial, and accusatory supposition backed by no actual facts. One reason that conspiracy theories are so popular is that reporters can't just go talk to sources in the government and get the facts; they get slow-walked through PR departments.
 
2014-08-04 03:07:15 PM  

Jaden Smith First of His Name: Who would even want a million pregnant friends? At any given time half of them would be crying and the other half screaming.


Good way to give your pickles and ice cream business a shot in the arm, though.
 
2014-08-04 03:10:00 PM  
sex hole?

She's definitely not the sharpest knife on the rack, that's for sure.
 
2014-08-04 03:10:34 PM  
I can see where this is heading. When the kid goes to school she'll probably make him PB&J every day for lunch.
 
2014-08-04 03:13:23 PM  
www.whatsonningbo.com

You know they put out, and you're not worried about knocking them up.
 
2014-08-04 03:14:16 PM  
And by "newspaper", "publishes" and "column" you mean "website", "hosts" and "essentially a blog entry".

If you don't want to read nattering, inane twaddle don't go to the section of the paper's website specifically dedicated to hosting nattering, inane twaddle. That's like biatching about the letters to the editor in a traditional paper. So don't read them, farkwit.
 
2014-08-04 03:14:33 PM  
Remind me again of how rewarding an experience pregnancy is.
 
2014-08-04 03:16:46 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: [www.whatsonningbo.com image 634x419]

You know they put out, and you're not worried about knocking them up.


I have the overwhelming urge to play bongos all of the sudden.
 
2014-08-04 03:16:47 PM  

Warthog: drdank: She should have gone for the alliterative "powerful pregnancy pussy precipitation".

I think you can shorten that to "P-Funk."

[record.ticro.com image 500x500]


Yeah but you'd lose the alliteration.
 
2014-08-04 03:17:23 PM  
Re: #4

My guess is she's getting some on the side she doesn't want hubby to know about. It is very likely Bob Woodward or one of his assistants.
 
2014-08-04 03:17:28 PM  
biatch, I don't really care
I was being polite
Since you have no life now
That you're pregnant
 
2014-08-04 03:18:04 PM  

Marisyana: Remind me again of how rewarding an experience pregnancy is.


Ok, you get to double down on the groceries, Piss at all hours of the night, weird cravings, and then the puking at first and cramps later with the climax being you squirt a cantaloupe out of your babby shoot and now you have a crotchling to care and feed forever. And you can't train them to poo in the corner right off like a dog. And they like to stay up all night and scream.
But go ahead and skip that condom just once.
 
2014-08-04 03:19:01 PM  
In other news Courtney Love's new band, Powerful Pregnancy Crotch Sweat, is on tour.
 
2014-08-04 03:21:49 PM  

vudukungfu: Marisyana: Remind me again of how rewarding an experience pregnancy is.

Ok, you get to double down on the groceries, Piss at all hours of the night, weird cravings, and then the puking at first and cramps later with the climax being you squirt a cantaloupe out of your babby shoot and now you have a crotchling to care and feed forever. And you can't train them to poo in the corner right off like a dog. And they like to stay up all night and scream.
But go ahead and skip that condom just once.


Well, I'm convinced.

To be gay.
 
2014-08-04 03:22:04 PM  
Subby is a very lazy writer. You don't get to use cliches unless they apply. Woodward and Bernstein are not dead, hence you don't get to use the cliche "rolling in their graves". Exert yourself, try looking for something applicable, like, "choked on their pens" or "threw themselves into their mimeograph machines" or "burned their Leisure Suits"  or "their mod sideburns melted down" or somesuch.

Today is the first day of my retirement, and I am now free to constantly patrol the grammatical frontiers of Fark, bringing order to the Millennials half assed grasp of the English language...

Lesson One: Bat Shiat is NOT inherently crazy. The correct idiom is "crazy as a shiathouse bat", which is a reference to a bat driven mad as a consequence of living in a smelly outhouse.

Thus endth the lesson.

/Tomorrow: A lengthy treatise on why JJ Abrams should throw himself into a Bussard Collector for the abomination that is NuTrek
 
2014-08-04 03:22:59 PM  

Nabb1: Arkanaut: Did the Washington Post only do political reporting in the 70's?

Political reporting and quaaludes. Everyone was doing quaaludes in the 1970's. It was the law.


Don't forget the mountains of powdered cocaine.
 
2014-08-04 03:24:54 PM  
What a whiner. Her kid is gonna be a little ray of sunshine.
/also pregnant
 
2014-08-04 03:24:56 PM  
<reads article>

Oh good, I get to see my lunch again!
 
2014-08-04 03:25:20 PM  
Now, now...

Be nice to the Washington Post....

Their reporters have a lot of free time...

What with a Democrat in office.

www.movieposterskey.com
 
2014-08-04 03:25:58 PM  
Oh good lord. You'd think a harmless piece about pregnancy myths was the destruction of journalism as we know it. I swear, sometimes FARK is such a humorless wad of wet toilet paper clinging to the ass of smug self-congratulation.
 
2014-08-04 03:27:06 PM  
i512.photobucket.com

/not really relevant
 
2014-08-04 03:27:26 PM  
Mr. Woodward turned into a DC Villager and whored himself out to Mr. Reagan's, Mr. Bush the Elder's and Mr. Bush the Lesser's administrations.  Made a bunch of money and turned into a Republican.
 
2014-08-04 03:27:55 PM  

Prey4reign: In other news Courtney Love's new band, Powerful Pregnancy Crotch Sweat, is on tour.


i874.photobucket.com
 
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