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(Metro)   Burglar breaks into house by squeezing through dog flap in door, steals bicycle, discovers that he can't ride a bicycle   (metro.co.uk) divider line 28
    More: Dumbass, news feeds  
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2210 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Aug 2014 at 5:31 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



28 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-08-04 04:18:35 PM  
images.amcnetworks.com
www.80s.com
 
2014-08-04 05:36:48 PM  
How's he going to get the bike through the doggy door?
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-04 05:42:52 PM  
Done in duce.
 
2014-08-04 05:43:59 PM  
Whew.  Feel like I dodged a mentally scarring bullet there.

I don't think I've ever been happier to see the words "in door" in a headline.
 
2014-08-04 05:48:59 PM  
One time I locked myself out of the house on the way to work, and tried to get in through the doggy door.  I had on a full suit, etc.  I also got stuck halfway in past my shoulders but before my waist and my arms were over my head so I couldn't get to the phone in my pocket.  It was a few uncool minutes before I finally somehow forced myself though, I wasn't really ever scared as I wouldn't die there, I was more pissed off and embarrassed.

/not csb
 
2014-08-04 05:52:09 PM  

CruJones: One time I locked myself out of the house on the way to work, and tried to get in through the doggy door.  I had on a full suit, etc.  I also got stuck halfway in past my shoulders but before my waist and my arms were over my head so I couldn't get to the phone in my pocket.  It was a few uncool minutes before I finally somehow forced myself though, I wasn't really ever scared as I wouldn't die there, I was more pissed off and embarrassed.

/not csb


Did it look anything like this ...

assets.nydailynews.com

... minus the glass cutter nipples?
 
2014-08-04 05:52:57 PM  
"We got a call from our alarm company..."

Lucky bastards. My friend got his old house ransacked for DAYS and nothing happened. They were using the house to store some of their stuff while they were getting ready to sell the home, and someone broke in, cut the power and let the alarm battery die. The alarm company actually called the cops and told them it was a false alarm. A few weeks after that, he dropped by the house and found it trashed. They estimate the people were there for a week. They destroyed furniture, ripped up the floor and walls(He had some 'secret' storage areas), and stole everything that wasn't nailed down.
 
2014-08-04 05:54:03 PM  

CruJones: One time I locked myself out of the house on the way to work, and tried to get in through the doggy door.  I had on a full suit, etc.  I also got stuck halfway in past my shoulders but before my waist and my arms were over my head so I couldn't get to the phone in my pocket.  It was a few uncool minutes before I finally somehow forced myself though, I wasn't really ever scared as I wouldn't die there, I was more pissed off and embarrassed.

/not csb


Got into my buddy's house in high school that way when his parents left and he forgot the keys. It was a small farking doggy door, thank God I was skinny.
 
2014-08-04 05:56:19 PM  
Oh look, a black guy.

/I'm shocked.
//SHOCKED
///SHOCKED
 
2014-08-04 05:57:27 PM  
" I feel violated"

/facepalms,..seriously dude, you're making this far too easy.
 
2014-08-04 05:57:31 PM  
img.fark.net
www.blogcdn.com
 
2014-08-04 06:00:35 PM  
I don't want to break into a house with a dog flap big enough for an adult human man to crawl through. Bad call.
 
2014-08-04 06:03:50 PM  
Nice guard dogs ya got there.
 
2014-08-04 06:08:33 PM  

abhorrent1: Oh look, a black guy.

/I'm shocked.
//SHOCKED
///SHOCKED


/Easy there tiger, but i do commend you for saying what everyone else was thinking before they clicked. Might wanna get a bucket on your head though.  Farkers don't like it when you state the obvious, even if they were thinking it.
 
2014-08-04 06:11:49 PM  
There's a razor-thin line between audacity and abject stupidity-and this guy's stuck in it.
 
2014-08-04 06:56:07 PM  
Burglar breaks into house by squeezing through dog flap in door, steals bicycle, discovers that he can't ride a bicycle

Even if he came thorough the front door, he'd discover he couldn't ride Subby's mom.
 
2014-08-04 06:59:07 PM  

Mikey1969: "We got a call from our alarm company..."

Lucky bastards. My friend got his old house ransacked for DAYS and nothing happened. They were using the house to store some of their stuff while they were getting ready to sell the home, and someone broke in, cut the power and let the alarm battery die. The alarm company actually called the cops and told them it was a false alarm. A few weeks after that, he dropped by the house and found it trashed. They estimate the people were there for a week. They destroyed furniture, ripped up the floor and walls(He had some 'secret' storage areas), and stole everything that wasn't nailed down.


GF's house had the alarm service... panel was a buggy f'r.  Entered code and didn't accept it (would happen - just enter it again.. you have 60 seconds)  2nd time.. no go.. 3rd.. 4th then alarm went off.
Loud as hell and kept going for a good 10 minutes then turned off.  No call from alarm company.. no police showed up.. just apparently reset itself.
Sure.. nice way to scare the shiat out of a thief BUT there sure as hell wasn't anyone at the end of that monthly payment monitoring one damned thing! Walk in, bust it with a hammer or kill the power to it in the fuse box and done; free and clear.

/PS wasn't this posted a couple days ago?
 
2014-08-04 07:02:03 PM  
I figure a good defense against random bike theft is to leave your bike in the highest gear.  Somehow I don't see your typical bike thief knowing how to change gears to be able to start pedaling that from a dead stop.
 
2014-08-04 07:03:07 PM  

abhorrent1: Oh look, a black guy.

/I'm shocked.
//SHOCKED
///SHOCKED



And race is relevant to this article because...
 
2014-08-04 07:32:52 PM  

I Browse: abhorrent1: Oh look, a black guy.

/I'm shocked.
//SHOCKED
///SHOCKED


And race is relevant to this article because...


4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-08-04 07:33:30 PM  

I Browse: abhorrent1: Oh look, a black guy.

/I'm shocked.
//SHOCKED
///SHOCKED


And race is relevant to this article because...


Everyone knows that black people are runners not cyclists.
 
2014-08-04 08:06:30 PM  
i306.photobucket.com

heh
 
2014-08-04 08:59:32 PM  

abhorrent1: Oh look, a black guy.

/I'm shocked.
//SHOCKED
///SHOCKED


Shouln't you be spending less time being a douchenozzle and more time trying to sell the L.A. Clippers?
 
2014-08-04 09:15:40 PM  

Kenny B: [i306.photobucket.com image 320x180]

heh


What the hell was that about? Why did he just give up on the bike? I guess maybe there was an audible alarm and he got freaked out but still.
 
2014-08-04 11:51:24 PM  
 
2014-08-05 03:48:44 AM  

talkertopc: I Browse: abhorrent1: Oh look, a black guy.

/I'm shocked.
//SHOCKED
///SHOCKED


And race is relevant to this article because...

Everyone knows that black people are runners not cyclists.


It was a black person who invented the triathlon so I don't see why not.

/He walked to the pool and went home on a bike.
 
2014-08-05 12:19:22 PM  
 
2014-08-05 12:51:42 PM  
i can't post pics at work, but

chris-griffin-i-get-a-little-farther-each-time.jpg
 
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