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(WWE)   Is the announce table still out to get Randy Orton's back? Does Bo Dallas still BOlieve in himself? Will Stephanie McMahon cry on TV again? Can Y2J even the odds against the Wyatts? Find out on WWE Raw (8pm ET, USA/WWE network). Pre-show   (wwe.com) divider line 1533
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225 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 04 Aug 2014 at 6:30 PM (11 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-04 10:07:25 AM  
Apparently there will be no Cena, Lesnar or Heyman on TV tonight. So we're going to set the O/U on the rating at 2.5.

Place your bets.
 
2014-08-04 10:23:57 AM  
Re-posting this from last week, in case Ms. Nolan is able to join us this week...

The #FWC Welcome Wagon


Recently,  Katie Nolan, the host of 'No Filter' for FoxSports.com, expressed interest in watching WWE with fans that could explain to her what's going on (and why).  I, and a number of other folks chimed in and invited her to hop into the thread and join in the fun. We extended an invitation to her last week, but she was already committed to another event, and was unable to make it.  But, she did ask for a raincheck, so I'm borrowing Pinkie Pie's welcome wagon again this week, in case Ms. Nolan is able to cruise by the thread and/or participate.

With that in mind, I'd like to officially roll out the red carpet for Ms. Nolan, and welcome her to the weekly Fark Wrestling Community's WWE thread!


Thanks to some help from Ben C. from our FB group, we've compiled a Cliff Notes summary of the main players that you might see on TV tonight, and their current feuds (also called 'angles' in the wrestling world).

John Cena/Brock Lesnar -- At least according to WWE, this is the top feud in the company at the moment.  Cena won the championship for the 15th time at the recent Money in the Bank PPV.  Lesnar is a part-time WWE guy who made his name in the UFC ring.  Lesnar will wrestle Cena for the belt at the next PPV, Summerslam.  You likely won't see Lesnar on TV though, as he only makes sporadic appearances.  If you do see him, it's also unlike y that he'll talk.  His "manager", Paul Heyman, does the talking for Lesnar.

Jericho/Wyatt -- Chris Jericho is a part time guy too, but with a long career in WWE and elsewhere.  He comes back to WWE in-between tours of his band, Fozzy.  He's currently feuding with Bray Wyatt, the leader of the Wyatt Family trio

Usos/Wyatt Family -- Jimmy & Jay Uso are the current tag team champs, and are feuding with the other two members of the Wyatt family, Luke and Rowan

AJ/Paige -- AJ Lee is the current Divas champion.  She recently returned from a hiatus (where she legit married CM Punk) and swiped the belt back from Paige, who is a recent call up from WWE's 'monir league', NXT.  The two women are feuding over the title.

Nikki/Authority -- Nikki Bella is one-half of the Bella Twins tag team with her (real) twin sister, Brie (who recently married Daniel Bryan and is on hiatus).  Nikki is currently feuding with "The Authority", which consists of Triple H and Stephanie McMahon (who are legit married)

All other Divas -- Random matches with random divas.  Only a few of them have real in-ring skills, which will become apparent if you see any of their matches

Fandango/Random (Summer/Layla) -- Fandango is feuding with two of the dancers who normally accompany him to the ring - Summer and Layla.  The girls are exacting revenge on him by costing him matches week after week.

Sheamus/? -- Tough guy with an Irish gimmick.  Pretty cool overall, but his gimmick is kind of stale.  We like to call him the Irish Cena.

Damien Sandow -- A sad story if there ever was one.  Talented guy currently stuck in a gimmick of cosplaying as someone new each week and losing his matches.

Miz/Dolph Ziggler -- Feud between two Cleveland natives.  Miz iz the current Intercontinental Champ, after gaining a sneak victory over Dolph at the most recent PPV, Battleground.  Dolph is the fan favortite by far, though Miz has a few fans in the FWC too.  :)

Rusev/Swagger -- A re-hash of the US/Soviet angle that played out in the 80s between Hulk Hogan and Volkov/The Iron Sheik.  Rusev is escorted by Lana, who likes to extoll the virtue of Putin and make fun of America.  Swagger is escorted by Zeb Colter, who is essentially playing a rabid Tea Party guy amped up to 11. (though based on right-wing forums, they don't get that the jokes on them yet)

---------------------------------------
Some terms/phrases that you might hear us (orthe TV guys) use:

Face
-- A 'face' character is basically a good guy.  Fans are supposed to like them, though exceptions to occur (see Cena, John)

Heel -- Basically, these are supposed to be the bad guys, or villains.  Faces are always in conflict with heels, and we're supposed to boo the heels.  Again, exceptions do occur  (see Lesnar, Brock, and Cesaro)

"X is over"  -- Saying a character is "over" means that they are gaining popularity with the fans, who are buying into their gimmick and/or in-ring performances.

Buried -- A character is "buried" when they go on an inexplicable losing streak, or are stuck in dumb gimmicks with no momentum.  This usually occurs because management is not pushing their character forward, or is upset at the performer for some (usually trivial) reason).

Summerslam -- The next WWE PPV event, coming up in a few weeks.  Other major PPVs include Wrestlemania, Royal Rumble, and Survivor Series.  Other (more minor) PPVs occur through the year as well.

Smackdown -- This show airs on Syfy channel on Fridays, though WWE tapes it on Tuesdays.


---------------------------------------
Now, as for the FWC itself, I'll try to keep this short:

*The checklist
-- A running gag from the very beginning, we like to check off things that normally occur either on the show itself, or in the thread.

*Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gredunza -- This is a reference to an old Chris Jericho promo, which itself referenced a Dr. Seuss book.  In his promo, Jericho claimed he was the "Master of 1004 Holds", and named the Gredunza as hold #1004.  We created a championship belt to honor this idea, with the belt awarded weekly to the person that gets the 1004th comment in the thread and mentions gredunza in said post.

*Post 502 -- This is half of 1004, so for post 502, we award the "I am the tag team champions" belt to the person with post 502 (and who mentions the tag team belts, of course)

*Factions -- We have a few little mini-groups (factions) in the FWC, and we like to (humorously) give each other a hard time.  Our largest faction is the No Pony Order (NPO), which was formed to counter the influence of the Nexus faction, which consists mainly of folks who like WWE and a certain group of bright-colored cartoon ponies.  We also have a 'Legends' club on another board, which we refer to as FWC Japan.  These are some of the original members of the FWC, and they do pop in on occasion as well.
 
2014-08-04 10:25:06 AM  
Oh, and here's this week's checklist!  (might be time to update this too)


Weekly RAW Checklist(or for watching fark burn)

originally created by ManofPa, Dougie AXP, and hundreddollarman



1) Every 25th post is "ARMBAR!" & every 1004th post is "moss covered 3 handled family gredunza"
2) Karate Explosion, the weekly heel we deserve, asks why this isn't in the Entertainment tab
3) Pretty GM is stalked by KellyKellyKelly
4) "Never mind that shiat, here comes Mongo!"
5) Bah Gawd King, that's the nPo's music!
6) I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
7) NOPE!
8) Because Fark you, that's why
9) [REDACTED]
10) The Great and Powerful ShiningWizard appears
11) Dolph Ziggler's guide to selling and athletic sex
12) Mizark Appreciation Time
13) Out of nowhere, it's VINTAGE ORTON!
14) Where's Cena? Is someone talking about Cena? WHERE'S CENA?
15) It's best-ah for this business-ah!
16) YOU BLOW OUT AN ELECTRIC LAMP!
17) Screw it, you aren't even reading this one. ARMBRA! (link it NSFW)
18) Once a PPV cycle, just like Taker....the "It's Me" pic returns
19) JFSP shows up late and gives a full recap; posts Cena (ultra-rare quality item)
20) Last APP Reference Standing
21) "Bobby, what's that?"  "No worries, Gorilla, that's just Tony making his 'meh' face"
22) An FWC member loses their smile
23) BONUS: FWC member in the crowd and/or seen on TV
 
2014-08-04 11:32:23 AM  
Sigh...do I have to watch Raw tonight?  I'd only watch because this thread brings more entertainment than Raw does.
 
2014-08-04 12:11:19 PM  
With no Cena or Lesnar at least the mid card will get some attention. Lol who am I kidding, we will get video packages and more Stephanie and Bella drama. I hope they at least further the Kofi and Big E angle
 
2014-08-04 12:22:07 PM  
Long time reader of the threads, but never being able to watch live on Sun/Mon, I never get to participate. I always watch on Wednesdays and read the then closed thread on Thursdays. Always a fun read.

Anyways, I have 2 belts that I plan on putting on ebay and was wondering if any one here would have knowledge of the value of the belts?

I should be around here until 4pm ET, so after that I have an email listed at the site below to contact me.
Thanks for anyone who can help.

Pics and info here: https://sites.google.com/site/beltswwe/

img.fark.net
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-04 01:08:49 PM  

tnpir: Apparently there will be no Cena, Lesnar or Heyman on TV tonight. So we're going to set the O/U on the rating at 2.5.

Place your bets.


And the longest Jericho/Wyatt and whatever Ziggles is doing can be is like...30 minutes?  Oh boy.
 
2014-08-04 01:53:58 PM  

Rwa2play: Sigh...do I have to watch Raw tonight?  I'd only watch because this thread brings more entertainment than Raw does.


http://i.imgur.com/YfZit3u.gif
 
2014-08-04 01:59:07 PM  
As I will be working my 4th straight 13 hour day protecting you bastards, I will not be in the thread much tonight. Welcome lady from foxsports. Also if you are current with #fwcafterdark on twitter, a new member joined the group named Nexus Trixie (IDK what that even is) so follow him or her or it or whatever it is.

UPDATED #fWc TWITTER LIST 08/04/2014

Bobby_and_The_Gorilla - @BobbyandGorilla
bluorangefyre - @bluorangefyre
CapnPlaty - @ChrisCarlisle
Cheezitmojo - @TheBusyGuy
clintster - @clintster
cman - @q64ceo
Corteran - @Corteran
CyberKultist - @CyberKultist
cynicalminion - @CynicalMinion
Dagrin - @DagrinRDM
Daquin - @ThePecoraro
dm26tg1 - @dm26tg1
Dougie AXP - @Dougie_AXP
DrunkenGator - @DrunkenGator
dyertek - @dyertek
eagles95 - @marksimundza
Eddie T. Head - @MatthewJans
Eddievercetti - @eddievercetti
FingFangFark - @FingFangFark
Fisty Bum - @mrbryane
globalwarmingpraiser - @gwpfarker
Grand_Moff_Joseph - @Grand_Moff_Joseph
Gunny Highway - @Ixepex
hachimaki2234 - @superdonjuanson
hobblekitty - @hobblekitty
Hospitaller - @doug_ellsworth
hundreddollarman - @FakeEmmanuel
IAmTheTagTeamChampions - @NXJ13
Igor Jakovsky - @TCGator97
Irishman4 - @mike1238
Jetskimoo - @coffeesnob42
Jim from Saint Paul - @Jim_from_SP
JiMHaT - @jim4stek
Jsam21 - @coach_Sampson21
Karate Explosion - @x_prozak_x
LoR75 - @LoR1975
LucklessWonder - @lost_limey
Machoprogrammer - @WrestlingMark2
MagSeven - @magseven27
My Lip Balm Addiction - @UWBushtit
Mztlplx - @tinfoil_fedora
nathanjr - @DC_Gardener
Nexus Trixie - @NexusTrixie
Nick el Ass - @realnickelass
Nug - @Nug13
Otackle72 - @rebelsot72
P-Money All $tar - @FiveDollarFreak
Rated-Mk17 - @Rated_MK17
Representative of the Unwashed Masses - @Canada_Smartass
Rhames - @BlitzerRhames
robertus - @sublimeidealist
Russ Feingold's Brass Balls - @khabi715
Rwa2play - @Rwa2play
Sallyjuneabigailmay - @PlayerIchi
Sarahlh3 - @Sarahlh3EsqLite
Sbdolan - @sbdolan
Shining Wizard - @SlicedBread02
Supercampion - @alexaitis
tbaughm - @blkholesun
Tenor Reaper - @darksaiyajin_26
The Buzzards - @FTBuzzards
Triple Oak - @hulkpez
Vebaltoxin - @JDGannonWriter
Vorral @Vorral
Wellbred Hillbilly - @ViennaFire
WippitGuud - @wippitguud


Anyone else, add yourself, if you're in a faction and I'll update. You follow us, we'll follow you!
When using Twitter use #fWc To view current list click on my fark name Supercampion
 
2014-08-04 02:02:07 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-08-04 04:24:27 PM  

Supercampion: a new member joined the group named Nexus Trixie (IDK what that even is) so follow him or her or it or whatever it is.


I get the feeling Nexus Trixie is either going to be my hero or is supposed to be my doppelganger, lulz

Sounds like Jet and GMJ have been up to some shenanigans!
 
2014-08-04 04:53:39 PM  

Supercampion: Nexus Trixie (IDK what that even is) so follow him or her or it or whatever it is.


I can tell you that this account is a she, and she hails from a small town in Poland.  She's new to social media, but trust me, you've seen her around here for a long, long time.

ShiningWizard: Sounds like Jet and GMJ have been up to some shenanigans!


I can neither confirm nor deny that any objects in our house have become self-aware and have found the internet.  <.<  >.>
 
2014-08-04 05:44:50 PM  

ShiningWizard: I get the feeling Nexus Trixie is either going to be my hero or is supposed to be my doppelganger


Maybe a bit of both?  After all, she does reside at the 'Smark Announce Table'...  XD

img.fark.net
 
2014-08-04 06:34:20 PM  
Really early green tonight?

Also -- How many other people in this thread watch the JBL and Cole Show weekly. Some of their jokes are basically tropes of this thread.
 
2014-08-04 06:35:56 PM  

Grand_Moff_Joseph: ShiningWizard: I get the feeling Nexus Trixie is either going to be my hero or is supposed to be my doppelganger

Maybe a bit of both?  After all, she does reside at the 'Smark Announce Table'...  XD

[img.fark.net image 540x380]


I'm pretty sure she's actually Nexus Zecora in disguise based off of the potion conjuring mentioned
 
2014-08-04 06:36:14 PM  
THEN

NOW

LAST MONDAY BEFORE FOOTBALL!!!!!
 
2014-08-04 06:39:48 PM  

Amigos,


last week, we lost a friend...a friend so dear to us, we doubt he can be replaced...


Richardo Rodriguez was cut from the roster last week, we'll miss his corny behavior, the fact he was more over than ADR, his commentary, his wrestling in NXT.


We'll miss you RR.


i.imgur.com

 
2014-08-04 06:40:09 PM  
D'oh.. I lied -- only one MNF game during the preseason. Might be a college game or two though.
 
2014-08-04 06:44:22 PM  
Other notable terms GMJ missed

To Orton/Ortoning - A match/angle/move that was exceptionally crappy. This pays homage to the fact that Randy Orton allegedly defecated in the gym bag of one of the divas.

Dolph Ziggler Sells X to Y - A recurring trope theme based on the fact that Dolph Ziggler is extremely proficient at making his opponents look good. Specifically, the way he sells a move (making the opponents move seem real) are good enough that many of this threads readers will assume he's actually hurt from time to time. Example: Dolph Ziggler could sell ice to an eskimo.

Bork Laser - Brock Lesnar, as said by Brock Lesnar

Barack Lesnar - Brock Lesnar, as said by Paul Heyman. Also our 44th President of the United States

Gagne - Triple H. This is a reference to old-timey wrestler Verne Gagne, who was notable for booking himself to win many matches, particularly at an advanced age. For a better explanation, I'll defer to verbaltoxin on this one.
 
2014-08-04 06:45:06 PM  

Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: D'oh.. I lied -- only one MNF game during the preseason. Might be a college game or two though.


Preseason football isn't real foot...oh. I see what you did there.
 
2014-08-04 06:46:48 PM  
Super early. And really, no Cena/Brock? Because that's the only thing in the info section for tonight's show.
 
2014-08-04 06:49:45 PM  

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Oh, and here's this week's checklist!  (might be time to update this too)


Weekly RAW Checklist(or for watching fark burn)originally created by ManofPa, Dougie AXP, and hundreddollarman

1) Every 25th post is "ARMBAR!" & every 1004th post is "moss covered 3 handled family gredunza"
2) Karate Explosion, the weekly heel we deserve, asks why this isn't in the Entertainment tab
3) Pretty GM is stalked by KellyKellyKelly
4) "Never mind that shiat, here comes Mongo!"
5) Bah Gawd King, that's the nPo's music!
6) I AM THE TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS!
7) NOPE!
8) Because Fark you, that's why
9) [REDACTED]
10) The Great and Powerful ShiningWizard appears
11) Dolph Ziggler's guide to selling and athletic sex
12) Mizark Appreciation Time
13) Out of nowhere, it's VINTAGE ORTON!
14) Where's Cena? Is someone talking about Cena? WHERE'S CENA?
15) It's best-ah for this business-ah!
16) YOU BLOW OUT AN ELECTRIC LAMP!
17) Screw it, you aren't even reading this one. ARMBRA! (link it NSFW)
18) Once a PPV cycle, just like Taker....the "It's Me" pic returns
19) JFSP shows up late and gives a full recap; posts Cena (ultra-rare quality item)
20) Last APP Reference Standing
21) "Bobby, what's that?"  "No worries, Gorilla, that's just Tony making his 'meh' face"
22) An FWC member loses their smile
23) BONUS: FWC member in the crowd and/or seen on TV


I am in Canada on business...Checklist Item #22 is satisfied!!

/London, Ont
//Working at the University (Western)
///Lonely in London is the name of my Rush Cover Band
 
2014-08-04 07:00:06 PM  
Crap, early start is my fault. I got my timezones messed up and asked the mods to bump it up.

My fault on the time botch. Sorry, mods! :(
 
2014-08-04 07:07:12 PM  
All I have to say is the WWE needs to grow a pair of balls and either let Cena lose at Summerslam or let Rollins cash in.

Bottom line: We can't take this program seriously if Cena gets stomped into a crater at the Staples Center and still comes back to win legit.
 
2014-08-04 07:09:57 PM  

tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: D'oh.. I lied -- only one MNF game during the preseason. Might be a college game or two though.

Preseason football isn't real foot...oh. I see what you did there.


HAHA.. Wasn't going for that angle, but I'll take it by accident! And I'm sure as hell excited for our not real first game on Saturday.

/Arizona Cardinals season ticket holder
//Save your not real football jokes - we probably went to a Super Bowl more recently than your team
 
2014-08-04 07:09:57 PM  

Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: THEN

NOW

LAST MONDAY BEFORE FOOTBALL!!!!!


Then Vince has his 4 month excuse for crap ratings
 
2014-08-04 07:09:59 PM  
heelbook.com
 
2014-08-04 07:10:37 PM  

LegacyDL: All I have to say is the WWE needs to grow a pair of balls and either let Cena lose at Summerslam or let Rollins cash in.

Bottom line: We can't take this program seriously if Cena gets stomped into a crater at the Staples Center and still comes back to win legit.


I'm okay with Cena winning IF it's booked right. We've laid out why it's the best long term move a couple of times in these threads, however in order for it to make sense, Cena has to look strong against Lesnar. He can't get beat down for 95% of the match, then go SuperCenaTM and win. If he's booked well and inflicts a lot of damage against Lesnar (easier done in a hardcore match), most people won't have a problem.
 
2014-08-04 07:11:12 PM  

Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: D'oh.. I lied -- only one MNF game during the preseason. Might be a college game or two though.

Preseason football isn't real foot...oh. I see what you did there.

HAHA.. Wasn't going for that angle, but I'll take it by accident! And I'm sure as hell excited for our not real first game on Saturday.

/Arizona Cardinals season ticket holder
//Save your not real football jokes - we probably went to a Super Bowl more recently than your team


False. Defending Super Bowl champions.
 
2014-08-04 07:13:34 PM  

tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: D'oh.. I lied -- only one MNF game during the preseason. Might be a college game or two though.

Preseason football isn't real foot...oh. I see what you did there.

HAHA.. Wasn't going for that angle, but I'll take it by accident! And I'm sure as hell excited for our not real first game on Saturday.

/Arizona Cardinals season ticket holder
//Save your not real football jokes - we probably went to a Super Bowl more recently than your team

False. Defending Super Bowl champions.


Seadderall... home to the second best cornerback in the NFL!
 
2014-08-04 07:15:40 PM  

KellyKellyKelly: [heelbook.com image 423x1500]


That is unBOlieveably funny! The SSR one is spot on too!
 
2014-08-04 07:15:45 PM  

Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: D'oh.. I lied -- only one MNF game during the preseason. Might be a college game or two though.

Preseason football isn't real foot...oh. I see what you did there.

HAHA.. Wasn't going for that angle, but I'll take it by accident! And I'm sure as hell excited for our not real first game on Saturday.

/Arizona Cardinals season ticket holder
//Save your not real football jokes - we probably went to a Super Bowl more recently than your team

False. Defending Super Bowl champions.

Seadderall... home to the second best cornerback in the NFL!


I wouldn't go that far. Byron Maxwell is good, however I'd say he's a far cry from being second to Sherman. If anything he's behind Joe Haden.
 
2014-08-04 07:17:11 PM  

KellyKellyKelly: [heelbook.com image 423x1500]


RIP JTG
 
2014-08-04 07:17:39 PM  

tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: D'oh.. I lied -- only one MNF game during the preseason. Might be a college game or two though.

Preseason football isn't real foot...oh. I see what you did there.

HAHA.. Wasn't going for that angle, but I'll take it by accident! And I'm sure as hell excited for our not real first game on Saturday.

/Arizona Cardinals season ticket holder
//Save your not real football jokes - we probably went to a Super Bowl more recently than your team

False. Defending Super Bowl champions.

Seadderall... home to the second best cornerback in the NFL!

I wouldn't go that far. Byron Maxwell is good, however I'd say he's a far cry from being second to Sherman. If anything he's behind Joe Haden.


$14.01/mil a year... the money don't lie!! :-D
 
2014-08-04 07:20:00 PM  

tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: D'oh.. I lied -- only one MNF game during the preseason. Might be a college game or two though.

Preseason football isn't real foot...oh. I see what you did there.

HAHA.. Wasn't going for that angle, but I'll take it by accident! And I'm sure as hell excited for our not real first game on Saturday.

/Arizona Cardinals season ticket holder
//Save your not real football jokes - we probably went to a Super Bowl more recently than your team

False. Defending Super Bowl champions.

Seadderall... home to the second best cornerback in the NFL!

I wouldn't go that far. Byron Maxwell is good, however I'd say he's a far cry from being second to Sherman. If anything he's behind Joe Haden.


Everyone's behind Joe Haden.  Unlike Richard Sherman, he can actually cover you without defensive holding.
 
2014-08-04 07:20:12 PM  

tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: D'oh.. I lied -- only one MNF game during the preseason. Might be a college game or two though.

Preseason football isn't real foot...oh. I see what you did there.

HAHA.. Wasn't going for that angle, but I'll take it by accident! And I'm sure as hell excited for our not real first game on Saturday.

/Arizona Cardinals season ticket holder
//Save your not real football jokes - we probably went to a Super Bowl more recently than your team

False. Defending Super Bowl champions.


My cousin lives near you (Parma, OH) and has an old Seahawks hat someone gave him. He doesn't care about football at all but he always wears a hat. He told us over Easter that he was standing in line at a bank in Cleveland wearing it and some Browns fan waiting near him just looked at his hat and said, "Must be nice" in what he described as the most dejected voice he had ever heard. Must be tough being a Cleveland fan I guess
 
2014-08-04 07:23:52 PM  

Grand_Moff_Joseph: Re-posting this from last week, in case Ms. Nolan is able to join us this week...

The #FWC Welcome Wagon
Recently,  Katie Nolan, the host of 'No Filter' for FoxSports.com, expressed interest in watching WWE with fans that could explain to her what's going on (and why).  I, and a number of other folks chimed in and invited her to hop into the thread and join in the fun. We extended an invitation to her last week, but she was already committed to another event, and was unable to make it.  But, she did ask for a raincheck, so I'm borrowing Pinkie Pie's welcome wagon again this week, in case Ms. Nolan is able to cruise by the thread and/or participate.

With that in mind, I'd like to officially roll out the red carpet for Ms. Nolan, and welcome her to the weekly Fark Wrestling Community's WWE thread!


Thanks to some help from Ben C. from our FB group, we've compiled a Cliff Notes summary of the main players that you might see on TV tonight, and their current feuds (also called 'angles' in the wrestling world).

John Cena/Brock Lesnar -- At least according to WWE, this is the top feud in the company at the moment.  Cena won the championship for the 15th time at the recent Money in the Bank PPV.  Lesnar is a part-time WWE guy who made his name in the UFC ring.  Lesnar will wrestle Cena for the belt at the next PPV, Summerslam.  You likely won't see Lesnar on TV though, as he only makes sporadic appearances.  If you do see him, it's also unlike y that he'll talk.  His "manager", Paul Heyman, does the talking for Lesnar.

Jericho/Wyatt -- Chris Jericho is a part time guy too, but with a long career in WWE and elsewhere.  He comes back to WWE in-between tours of his band, Fozzy.  He's currently feuding with Bray Wyatt, the leader of the Wyatt Family trio

Usos/Wyatt Family -- Jimmy & Jay Uso are the current tag team champs, and are feuding with the other two members of the Wyatt family, Luke and Rowan

AJ/Paige -- AJ Lee is the current Divas champion.  She recently returned from a hiatus (where she legit married CM Punk) and swiped the belt back from Paige, who is a recent call up from WWE's 'monir league', NXT.  The two women are feuding over the title.

Nikki/Authority -- Nikki Bella is one-half of the Bella Twins tag team with her (real) twin sister, Brie (who recently married Daniel Bryan and is on hiatus).  Nikki is currently feuding with "The Authority", which consists of Triple H and Stephanie McMahon (who are legit married)

All other Divas -- Random matches with random divas.  Only a few of them have real in-ring skills, which will become apparent if you see any of their matches

Fandango/Random (Summer/Layla) -- Fandango is feuding with two of the dancers who normally accompany him to the ring - Summer and Layla.  The girls are exacting revenge on him by costing him matches week after week.

Sheamus/? -- Tough guy with an Irish gimmick.  Pretty cool overall, but his gimmick is kind of stale.  We like to call him the Irish Cena.

Damien Sandow -- A sad story if there ever was one.  Talented guy currently stuck in a gimmick of cosplaying as someone new each week and losing his matches.

Miz/Dolph Ziggler -- Feud between two Cleveland natives.  Miz iz the current Intercontinental Champ, after gaining a sneak victory over Dolph at the most recent PPV, Battleground.  Dolph is the fan favortite by far, though Miz has a few fans in the FWC too.  :)

Rusev/Swagger -- A re-hash of the US/Soviet angle that played out in the 80s between Hulk Hogan and Volkov/The Iron Sheik.  Rusev is escorted by Lana, who likes to extoll the virtue of Putin and make fun of America.  Swagger is escorted by Zeb Colter, who is essentially playing a rabid Tea Party guy amped up to 11. (though based on right-wing forums, they don't get that the jokes on them yet)

---------------------------------------
Some terms/phrases that you might hear us (orthe TV guys) use:

Face -- A 'face' character is basically a good guy.  Fans are supposed to like them, though exceptions to occur (see Cena, John)

Heel -- Basically, these are supposed to be the bad guys, or villains.  Faces are always in conflict with heels, and we're supposed to boo the heels.  Again, exceptions do occur  (see Lesnar, Brock, and Cesaro)

"X is over"  -- Saying a character is "over" means that they are gaining popularity with the fans, who are buying into their gimmick and/or in-ring performances.

Buried -- A character is "buried" when they go on an inexplicable losing streak, or are stuck in dumb gimmicks with no momentum.  This usually occurs because management is not pushing their character forward, or is upset at the performer for some (usually trivial) reason).

Summerslam -- The next WWE PPV event, coming up in a few weeks.  Other major PPVs include Wrestlemania, Royal Rumble, and Survivor Series.  Other (more minor) PPVs occur through the year as well.

Smackdown -- This show airs on Syfy channel on Fridays, though WWE tapes it on Tuesdays.


---------------------------------------
Now, as for the FWC itself, I'll try to keep this short:

*The checklist -- A running gag from the very beginning, we like to check off things that normally occur either on the show itself, or in the thread.

*Moss Covered Three Handled Family Gredunza -- This is a reference to an old Chris Jericho promo, which itself referenced a Dr. Seuss book.  In his promo, Jericho claimed he was the "Master of 1004 Holds", and named the Gredunza as hold #1004.  We created a championship belt to honor this idea, with the belt awarded weekly to the person that gets the 1004th comment in the thread and mentions gredunza in said post.

*Post 502 -- This is half of 1004, so for post 502, we award the "I am the tag team champions" belt to the person with post 502 (and who mentions the tag team belts, of course)

*Factions -- We have a few little mini-groups (factions) in the FWC, and we like to (humorously) give each other a hard time.  Our largest faction is the No Pony Order (NPO), which was formed to counter the influence of the Nexus faction, which consists mainly of folks who like WWE and a certain group of bright-colored cartoon ponies.  We also have a 'Legends' club on another board, which we refer to as FWC Japan.  These are some of the original members of the FWC, and they do pop in on occasion as well.


YOU FORGOT THE BEST ONE, YOU DOLT!

Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins Formerly teammates (alongside Roman Reigns) know as The Shield, until Rollins betrayed them to side with The Authority. As reward for doing so, he was assisted in winning the Money in the Bank match at the PPV by the same name. The briefcase contains a contract he can "cash in" at any time for a WWE World Heavyweight Title match. Ambrose has dedicated himself to preventing this as a measure of revenge, landing himself in several unfair matches as a result.
 
2014-08-04 07:24:37 PM  

The_Y2P_Problem: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: D'oh.. I lied -- only one MNF game during the preseason. Might be a college game or two though.

Preseason football isn't real foot...oh. I see what you did there.

HAHA.. Wasn't going for that angle, but I'll take it by accident! And I'm sure as hell excited for our not real first game on Saturday.

/Arizona Cardinals season ticket holder
//Save your not real football jokes - we probably went to a Super Bowl more recently than your team

False. Defending Super Bowl champions.

Seadderall... home to the second best cornerback in the NFL!

I wouldn't go that far. Byron Maxwell is good, however I'd say he's a far cry from being second to Sherman. If anything he's behind Joe Haden.

Everyone's behind Joe Haden.  Unlike Richard Sherman, he can actually cover you without defensive holding.


If memory serves, Joe Haden led the league in defensive holding penalties last year. He had three and one declined alone in the game I went to last year (Chicago)
 
2014-08-04 07:25:25 PM  
 
2014-08-04 07:25:48 PM  

ShiningWizard: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: D'oh.. I lied -- only one MNF game during the preseason. Might be a college game or two though.

Preseason football isn't real foot...oh. I see what you did there.

HAHA.. Wasn't going for that angle, but I'll take it by accident! And I'm sure as hell excited for our not real first game on Saturday.

/Arizona Cardinals season ticket holder
//Save your not real football jokes - we probably went to a Super Bowl more recently than your team

False. Defending Super Bowl champions.

My cousin lives near you (Parma, OH) and has an old Seahawks hat someone gave him. He doesn't care about football at all but he always wears a hat. He told us over Easter that he was standing in line at a bank in Cleveland wearing it and some Browns fan waiting near him just looked at his hat and said, "Must be nice" in what he described as the most dejected voice he had ever heard. Must be tough being a Cleveland fan I guess


I was just in a wedding for someone born in Parma. He swears up and down that he had never met another Seahawks fan in the world until he met me. We're in Ohio, we're just not overbearing assholes like Ohio State fans.
 
2014-08-04 07:28:48 PM  

ShiningWizard: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: D'oh.. I lied -- only one MNF game during the preseason. Might be a college game or two though.

Preseason football isn't real foot...oh. I see what you did there.

HAHA.. Wasn't going for that angle, but I'll take it by accident! And I'm sure as hell excited for our not real first game on Saturday.

/Arizona Cardinals season ticket holder
//Save your not real football jokes - we probably went to a Super Bowl more recently than your team

False. Defending Super Bowl champions.

My cousin lives near you (Parma, OH) and has an old Seahawks hat someone gave him. He doesn't care about football at all but he always wears a hat. He told us over Easter that he was standing in line at a bank in Cleveland wearing it and some Browns fan waiting near him just looked at his hat and said, "Must be nice" in what he described as the most dejected voice he had ever heard. Must be tough being a Cleveland fan I guess


You have no farking clue.
 
2014-08-04 07:31:53 PM  
For the record, growing up a fan of Cleveland sports teams is one of the primary reasons I'm an atheist.
 
2014-08-04 07:32:51 PM  
The Oak is here!

And with a gift, courtesy of SW, my first ever gredunza belt! This look really pretty on my new monitor (rest of computer build finishing this week hopefully).

img.fark.net
 
2014-08-04 07:33:28 PM  

The_Y2P_Problem: For the record, growing up a fan of Cleveland sports teams is one of the primary reasons I'm an atheist.


LOL I am agnostic. Grew up a Philly fan and at least the 2008 Phillies gave me a World Series title.
 
2014-08-04 07:34:29 PM  
OK, all cried out, kitteh is like Undertaker's parents, and I'm ready to snark once AGAYNE!
img.fark.net
 
2014-08-04 07:35:01 PM  
http://espn.go.com/mma/story/_/id/11308903/jon-jones-daniel-cormier-b r awl-news-conference

Brawl at the UFC press conference. IT'S STILL REAL TO ME DAMMIT!
 
2014-08-04 07:37:53 PM  

The_Y2P_Problem: ShiningWizard: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: tbaughm: Its Still Real to Me Damnit!: D'oh.. I lied -- only one MNF game during the preseason. Might be a college game or two though.

Preseason football isn't real foot...oh. I see what you did there.

HAHA.. Wasn't going for that angle, but I'll take it by accident! And I'm sure as hell excited for our not real first game on Saturday.

/Arizona Cardinals season ticket holder
//Save your not real football jokes - we probably went to a Super Bowl more recently than your team

False. Defending Super Bowl champions.

My cousin lives near you (Parma, OH) and has an old Seahawks hat someone gave him. He doesn't care about football at all but he always wears a hat. He told us over Easter that he was standing in line at a bank in Cleveland wearing it and some Browns fan waiting near him just looked at his hat and said, "Must be nice" in what he described as the most dejected voice he had ever heard. Must be tough being a Cleveland fan I guess

You have no farking clue.


Wow! Well they did get LeBron back didn't they?
 
2014-08-04 07:38:50 PM  
Hi Guys! I'm here to watch the thread and possibly the show. Racing the Chocobo trainer in FFX: HD is impossible. XD;

(Update for the ones who don't care: I did end up dodging 200 lightning strikes, and have 4 of the 7 celestial weapons. That may stay that way XD)
 
2014-08-04 07:40:02 PM  

Triple Oak: The Oak is here!

And with a gift, courtesy of SW, my first ever gredunza belt! This look really pretty on my new monitor (rest of computer build finishing this week hopefully).

[img.fark.net image 740x404]


Another work of art. Well Done SW & Oak
 
2014-08-04 07:40:38 PM  

clintster: OK, all cried out, kitteh is like Undertaker's parents, and I'm ready to snark once AGAYNE!
[img.fark.net image 320x180]


Sorry to hear that dear. Glad you're back though!

*SW hugs clintster*
 
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