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(Discover)   Twenty facts you didn't know about cats, including the fact that they have their own day of the week now (not a slideshow)   (discovermagazine.com ) divider line 70
    More: Amusing, domesticated cat, oldest cat, Mittens, Hello Kitty  
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7688 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Aug 2014 at 4:12 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-04 02:52:19 PM  
FAIL.

How can cats be older than the planet?
 
2014-08-04 03:13:54 PM  
21.  You thought he was a goner.
 
2014-08-04 03:41:49 PM  
22.  While there may be numerous ways to skin a cat, few are recommended nor considered humane.
 
2014-08-04 04:15:54 PM  
23. Types of dipping sauce are completely up to the consumer.
 
2014-08-04 04:16:18 PM  
23) Tuxedo cats like a mixture of hardware and virtual synths. img.fark.net
 
2014-08-04 04:17:14 PM  

16. A different kind of merchant cat, the world's richest cat is arguably Japan's big-headed cartoon Hello Kitty, which earned more than $1 billion in sales and royalties in 2012.

17. According to several studies, psychologists believe Hello Kitty's appeal is based on kawaii, or cuteness. Hello Kitty's wide-set eyes and mouthless face convey the character is non-threatening and needs loving care.


*facepalm*

Don't pad the list. Remove a few other clunkers and cut it down to 15.
 
2014-08-04 04:17:50 PM  
24) Cats were never domesticated, they have trained humans to take care of them. This has been going on for so long, it's part of the Human Genetic Code.
 
2014-08-04 04:20:17 PM  
Facts about cats?  What about facts WITH cats:

sierraclub.typepad.com
 
2014-08-04 04:22:46 PM  
I assume, "Your cat is plotting to kill you" was too obvious for the list?
 
2014-08-04 04:23:23 PM  
Had no idea cats were nearsighted or farsighted.
 
2014-08-04 04:23:24 PM  
4. Nearsighted, but not close-sighted. Because their eyes are so large, cats can't focus on anything less than a foot in front of them - but their whiskers can swing forward to feel what they can't clearly see.

upload.wikimedia.org

Ha, so ceiling cat isn't watching me masturbate!

/or he thinks my penis is fuzzy
//yikes
 
2014-08-04 04:25:05 PM  
25.  CATS DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU.
 
2014-08-04 04:25:28 PM  
Fact: My cat just pissed all over a pile of freshly laundered socks sitting on the kitchen counter.
Fact: Cat owner not happy right now
 
2014-08-04 04:26:22 PM  
The head boop is the cat's acceptance that you're more than just a food source
 
2014-08-04 04:26:55 PM  
Not gonna read this article now. I'll wait for my magazine to be delivered
 
2014-08-04 04:27:07 PM  
25. Depending on how it is prepared, cat goes equally well with red and white wines.
 
2014-08-04 04:35:51 PM  
27. Cats keep a hairball reserve ready just in case you have company over.
 
2014-08-04 04:36:00 PM  
As someone who is being owned by a cat for 5 years I can add these to the list:

26. Cats sleep only 1 minute a day but they spend 23 hours a day pretending they are sleeping.
27. Indoor cats leave their hair everywhere in your house. On your kitchen table, on your bed, on your clothes, inside your PC, on your ass, on your food... You'll soon learn that if you can't find cat hair on your pizza it only means you didn't look hard enough.
 
2014-08-04 04:37:05 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: The head boop is the cat's acceptance that you're more than just a food source


When they hold their tales up stiffly and vibrate them, they're very very happy.
 
2014-08-04 04:43:37 PM  
Hey, enough about the feline filthbeasts, Caturday was two days ago.

theimpersonals.com
/Now it's Muttday.
//Where are my "Twenty Facts I Didn't Know About Dogs"?
 
2014-08-04 04:43:39 PM  
28. If your cat has recently died, for a small fee I will hide feces in all your potted plants and rub sand paper on your face while you sleep.

Probably says more about me than it does cats, but my offer still stands.
 
2014-08-04 04:43:48 PM  

jehovahs witness protection: 27. Cats keep a hairball reserve ready just in case you have company over.


My cat never threw up a hairball in the last 5 years. It throws up however when he is fed more than a spoonful of wet food at once.
 
2014-08-04 04:45:46 PM  

blatz514: /or he thinks my penis is fuzzy


Dude - clean that thing once and a while, will ya?
 
2014-08-04 04:46:06 PM  
If you want bleeding bite marks on your hand all you need to do is grab your cat's tail.
 
2014-08-04 04:46:46 PM  
A cat will take note of the exact time you get up to pee or get a drink of water and will puke or poop in your path.
 
2014-08-04 04:50:03 PM  
Cats are very smart. If they want to go outside they will sit by the door and mimic the sound of the door opening.
 
2014-08-04 04:51:08 PM  
As soon as I read #16, explaining the importance of "Hello Kitty" I knew the areticel was crap.  I probably should have known sooner, but that was a dead giveaway.

New flash for people writing articles like this - if you are going to print about actual facts, then stick to actual FACTS about the subject.  Marketing brand awareness has nothing to do with the subject at hand, you idiot.


//5 minutes of my life wasted.
///Plus another 3 writing this.
 
2014-08-04 04:56:44 PM  

traylor: jehovahs witness protection: 27. Cats keep a hairball reserve ready just in case you have company over.

My cat never threw up a hairball in the last 5 years. It throws up however when he is fed more than a spoonful of wet food at once.


Mine is on a dry food in the morning, wet food in the evening schedule. I noticed a substantial reduction in hairballs when I switched her to hairball control cat food. Worth trying if you have a cat with hairball problems.
 
2014-08-04 04:57:54 PM  

Diogenes: blatz514: /or he thinks my penis is fuzzy

Dude - clean that thing once and a while, will ya?


sorry
 
2014-08-04 05:03:12 PM  

Diogenes: FAIL.

How can cats be older than the planet?


9 lives
 
2014-08-04 05:03:30 PM  

the_end_is_rear: 23) Tuxedo cats like a mixture of hardware and virtual synths. [img.fark.net image 850x478]


And big orange manx-coons love half stacks.

img.fark.net
 
2014-08-04 05:05:28 PM  
29. Cats have two holes in their fur, placed precisely where their eyes are.

/Benny Hill
 
2014-08-04 05:09:30 PM  
The only alcohol cats enjoy are light American lagers/pilsners and your lighter variety of German and Czech beers.

/At least with my cat.
//He'll lick a little bit of foam, and that's enough for the day.
 
2014-08-04 05:10:18 PM  

neongoats: the_end_is_rear: 23) Tuxedo cats like a mixture of hardware and virtual synths. [img.fark.net image 850x478]

And big orange manx-coons love half stacks.

[img.fark.net image 480x640]


LOL Sweeeet!
 
2014-08-04 05:24:28 PM  
31. If you put lipstick on a cat's ass, you'll be able to tell if it touches the counter.
 
2014-08-04 05:25:05 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: The head boop is the cat's acceptance that you're more than just a food source


And he knows it's much more sanitary than the conventional handshake.
 
2014-08-04 05:25:28 PM  
21: A cat's penis is spiky and makes for painful love-making for the girl kitty.
22. It is spikey because cat reproduction needs both sperm and blood in the process. A boy cat's spikey dong manages to supply one and cause the other.
 
2014-08-04 05:29:42 PM  
99. Dont subscribe Drew to cat facts.
 
2014-08-04 05:29:54 PM  
32) Cats are jerks.

/cat owner
 
2014-08-04 05:37:37 PM  
30:If you have twin cats one WILL pretend to be the other to get double dinners.
31:No, you don't know what happened to the neighbours rabbit.
 
2014-08-04 05:42:59 PM  

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: 31. If you put lipstick on a cat's ass, you'll be able to tell if it touches the counter.


If you put lipstick on a cat's a$$, don't use that lipstick on your mouth anymore.

//the more you know
 
2014-08-04 05:45:29 PM  

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: 31. If you put lipstick on a cat's ass, you'll be able to tell if it touches the counter.


31. a. Don't tell your wife if you use her lipstick for this experiment.
 
2014-08-04 05:45:49 PM  
You can drive your cat crazy with making the sound of panting or sniffing.

WARNING your cat will tear your face off if you do this long enough.
 
2014-08-04 05:57:19 PM  

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: 31. If you put lipstick on a cat's ass, you'll be able to tell if it touches the counter.


Wait, I'm confused.  I thought that was a hockey mom.
 
2014-08-04 05:58:12 PM  

traylor: You can drive your cat crazy with making the sound of panting or sniffing.

WARNING your cat will tear your face off if you do this long enough.


Yeah, but so will anybody else within earshot.
 
2014-08-04 06:00:06 PM  

Billy Liar: Smeggy Smurf: The head boop is the cat's acceptance that you're more than just a food source

And he knows it's much more sanitary than the conventional handshake.


Any animal that licks it's own ass isn't concerned with sanitation
 
2014-08-04 06:01:54 PM  

blatz514: 4. Nearsighted, but not close-sighted. Because their eyes are so large, cats can't focus on anything less than a foot in front of them - but their whiskers can swing forward to feel what they can't clearly see.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 639x367]

Ha, so ceiling cat isn't watching me masturbate!

/or he thinks my penis is fuzzy
//yikes


I think you need to reread that and think about why you're getting your penis to within a foot of your cat.

2.bp.blogspot.com

"It's okay to love your pet. Just don't LOVE your pet."
 
2014-08-04 06:03:10 PM  

traylor: My cat never threw up a hairball in the last 5 years. It throws up however when he is fed more than a spoonful of wet food at once.


Give it a dab of Vaseline on the roof of it's mouth.
 
2014-08-04 06:06:07 PM  

Danger Avoid Death: blatz514: 4. Nearsighted, but not close-sighted. Because their eyes are so large, cats can't focus on anything less than a foot in front of them - but their whiskers can swing forward to feel what they can't clearly see.

[upload.wikimedia.org image 639x367]

Ha, so ceiling cat isn't watching me masturbate!

/or he thinks my penis is fuzzy
//yikes

I think you need to reread that and think about why you're getting your penis to within a foot of your cat.

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 320x212]

"It's okay to love your pet. Just don't LOVE your pet."


Also don't spend so much time in your lab you pervert
 
2014-08-04 06:22:38 PM  

traylor: Cats are very smart. If they want to go outside they will sit by the door and mimic the sound of the door opening.


Bullshiat. My cat will just use the handle to open the door and stroll on out. No, really. He does. That little bastard can open every door in the place, except for the microwave and laundry machines.
 
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