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(Golf.com)   Dustin Johnson suspended from the PGA Tour after positive cocaine test. Apparently golf officials became suspicious after he finished a round in under five hours   (golf.com) divider line 40
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720 clicks; posted to Sports » on 04 Aug 2014 at 11:41 AM (19 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-08-04 09:56:58 AM  
Ok. This year he won once, has 2 second place finishes, 7 top 10 finishes, and has earned $4.2 milion.
Coke seems to work for him.
I heard there were 2 PGA wives he was banging. Not ethical, but it wasn't rape. The gold digging golf groupies are a dime a dozen.
Wait! He was also slamming Gretzky's hot daughter?
Where can I get some coke?
 
2014-08-04 11:49:32 AM  
Fark, please please please try to be current.  It isnt like the website takes the weekends off.
 
2014-08-04 11:57:55 AM  
Golf has drug testing? Why?
 
2014-08-04 11:59:25 AM  
Suspended!? Doug, kick him off the tour!
The Board felt that was premature, given that our ratings are *ahem* the highest we've ever had.
 
2014-08-04 12:14:08 PM  

wallywam1: Golf has drug testing? Why?


Because the World Anti-Doping Agency doesn't make exceptions. A golfer smoking a joint is, to them, just as bad as a cyclist on steroids.
 
2014-08-04 12:14:16 PM  

wallywam1: Golf has drug testing? Why?


Beta blockers and synthetic testosterone, mostly.
 
2014-08-04 12:14:24 PM  
He also enjoys skinny-skiing...going to bullfights on acid...
 
2014-08-04 12:16:06 PM  

strangeguitar: Ok. This year he won once, has 2 second place finishes, 7 top 10 finishes, and has earned $4.2 milion.
Coke seems to work for him.
I heard there were 2 PGA wives he was banging. Not ethical, but it wasn't rape. The gold digging golf groupies are a dime a dozen.
Wait! He was also slamming Gretzky's hot daughter?
Where can I get some coke?


I'm willing to bet he gets the coke from her.

I see Dustin out a lot slamming beers with Keegan, and he doesn't seem like the type of guy to go out and seek coke himself.

Paulina on the other hand looks like she's never seen a line she didn't like.
 
2014-08-04 12:17:44 PM  
FTFA:  After declining a Friday morning request to comment on the Johnson drug test results and his punishment, the PGA Tour released the following statement on Friday afternoon: "With regard to media reports that Dustin Johnson has been suspended by the PGA Tour, this is to clarify that Mr. Johnson has taken a voluntary leave of absence and is not under a suspension from the PGA Tour."

They go on to explain how this isn't them jumping the gun and how it's possible that he saw the writing on the wall and self-policed, but... the PGAT flat out said he wasn't suspended by them.
 
2014-08-04 12:21:24 PM  

strangeguitar: I heard there were 2 PGA wives he was banging.


Nightputting?

Yeah i heard this too.  wonder who the cuckolds are.  weid story all around.  the PGA says it is a voluntary leave of absence after it was widely reported that he was suspended.  and apparently the PGA is very tightlipped about its drug testing program, and i heard on dan patrick just this morning that johnson's former swing coach fired him, saying he [johnson] had too many off-course distractions.  some golf commentator was on and said there were rumors about him crushing some PGA wives.  nutty story.
 
2014-08-04 12:24:11 PM  

rickythepenguin: strangeguitar: I heard there were 2 PGA wives he was banging.

Nightputting?

Yeah i heard this too.  wonder who the cuckolds are.  weid story all around.  the PGA says it is a voluntary leave of absence after it was widely reported that he was suspended.  and apparently the PGA is very tightlipped about its drug testing program, and i heard on dan patrick just this morning that johnson's former swing coach fired him, saying he [johnson] had too many off-course distractions.  some golf commentator was on and said there were rumors about him crushing some PGA wives.  nutty story.


The rumor is that was Will MacKenzie's wife, Alli.

carolinagolftips.com

This was in 2010, I believe.
 
2014-08-04 12:26:27 PM  

Sirsky: They go on to explain how this isn't them jumping the gun and how it's possible that he saw the writing on the wall and self-policed, but... the PGAT flat out said he wasn't suspended by them.


What they didn't say is that his "voluntary" leave of absence was most likely negotiated with the PGA Tour, much like his "back injury" corresponded with a previous positive drug test.

He's not "suspended" but he's suspended.
 
2014-08-04 12:29:14 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: Sirsky: They go on to explain how this isn't them jumping the gun and how it's possible that he saw the writing on the wall and self-policed, but... the PGAT flat out said he wasn't suspended by them.

What they didn't say is that his "voluntary" leave of absence was most likely negotiated with the PGA Tour, much like his "back injury" corresponded with a previous positive drug test.

He's not "suspended" but he's suspended.


I think it is very interesting that he was allowed to lie about the first coke suspension.  Which came after a failed drug test for weed.
 
2014-08-04 12:29:27 PM  
Well, even if he wasn't officially suspended, I have a hard time believing a hard partyin' young golf pro would take a leave of absence from competition because he feels bad for banging a few married women. It just has to be substance-abuse related.
 
2014-08-04 12:29:53 PM  

Gunny Highway: The rumor is that was Will MacKenzie's wife, Alli.


huh.  gold star to whomever is housing that ass!

Yanks_RSJ: He's not "suspended" but he's suspended.


ahhhh, the ol' "David Stern vs. Michael Jordan in 1993" suspension!
 
2014-08-04 12:30:58 PM  

Gunny Highway: I think it is very interesting that he was allowed to lie about the first coke suspension.  Which came after a failed drug test for weed.


The PGA literally couldn't care less about drugs, the only reason they even have any drug policy is for Olympic consideration.
 
2014-08-04 12:34:09 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: Gunny Highway: I think it is very interesting that he was allowed to lie about the first coke suspension.  Which came after a failed drug test for weed.

The PGA literally couldn't care less about drugs, the only reason they even have any drug policy is for Olympic consideration.


Do lines on Monday and Tuesday, sleep Wednesday, play on Thursday through Sunday!

/coke will not make you a better golfer
 
2014-08-04 12:34:41 PM  
strangeguitar: Ok. This year he won once, has 2 second place finishes, 7 top 10 finishes, and has earned $4.2 milion. Coke seems to work for him.

Every stoner ever: "But I drive better when I'm high, I concentrate more".

/Never said that
//Nope, not ever
///Shut up shut up shut up shut up

strangeguitar: I heard there were 2 PGA wives he was banging.

The other one was allegedly Jimmy Walker's wife Erin:

i.cdn.turner.com
 
2014-08-04 12:36:42 PM  
Banging biatches, balls, and blow.  ALL WHITE, BABY!
 
2014-08-04 12:40:52 PM  

Henry Holland: strangeguitar: Ok. This year he won once, has 2 second place finishes, 7 top 10 finishes, and has earned $4.2 milion. Coke seems to work for him.

Every stoner ever: "But I drive better when I'm high, I concentrate more".

/Never said that
//Nope, not ever
///Shut up shut up shut up shut up

strangeguitar: I heard there were 2 PGA wives he was banging.

The other one was allegedly Jimmy Walker's wife Erin:

[i.cdn.turner.com image 314x236]


Looks like Dustin is into the carpenter's dream.
 
2014-08-04 12:41:41 PM  

Henry Holland: strangeguitar: Ok. This year he won once, has 2 second place finishes, 7 top 10 finishes, and has earned $4.2 milion. Coke seems to work for him.

Every stoner ever: "But I drive better when I'm high, I concentrate more".

/Never said that
//Nope, not ever
///Shut up shut up shut up shut up

strangeguitar: I heard there were 2 PGA wives he was banging.

The other one was allegedly Jimmy Walker's wife Erin:

[i.cdn.turner.com image 314x236]


And now Walker is having by far the best season of his career. Coincidence?
 
2014-08-04 12:47:07 PM  

strangeguitar: Ok. This year he won once, has 2 second place finishes, 7 top 10 finishes, and has earned $4.2 milion.
Coke seems to work for him.
I heard there were 2 PGA wives he was banging. Not ethical, but it wasn't rape. The gold digging golf groupies are a dime a dozen.
Wait! He was also slamming Gretzky's hot daughter?
Where can I get some coke?


Working on his own back nine?

Did he get design advice from Tiger?
 
2014-08-04 12:58:09 PM  

Bane of Broone: Henry Holland: strangeguitar: Ok. This year he won once, has 2 second place finishes, 7 top 10 finishes, and has earned $4.2 milion. Coke seems to work for him.

Every stoner ever: "But I drive better when I'm high, I concentrate more".

/Never said that
//Nope, not ever
///Shut up shut up shut up shut up

strangeguitar: I heard there were 2 PGA wives he was banging.

The other one was allegedly Jimmy Walker's wife Erin:

[i.cdn.turner.com image 314x236]

Looks like Dustin is into the carpenter's dream.


Carpenter's dream? Here's another photo of Erin:

1.bp.blogspot.com

source: http://www.golfbabes.club/2011/03/erin-walker.html
 
2014-08-04 01:00:51 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: Sirsky: They go on to explain how this isn't them jumping the gun and how it's possible that he saw the writing on the wall and self-policed, but... the PGAT flat out said he wasn't suspended by them.


What they didn't say is that his "voluntary" leave of absence was most likely negotiated with the PGA Tour, much like his "back injury" corresponded with a previous positive drug test.

He's not "suspended" but he's suspended.


Yeah, the PGAT statement isn't inconsistent with them telling him "you tested positive again, you need to take some time off" and him then doing it. PGAT can still say he's not suspended even if it was "voluntary" rather than actually voluntary. Plus it allows for him to come back earlier than six months if it's "voluntary" rather than a suspension.
 
2014-08-04 01:09:21 PM  

skrame: Bane of Broone: Henry Holland: strangeguitar: Ok. This year he won once, has 2 second place finishes, 7 top 10 finishes, and has earned $4.2 milion. Coke seems to work for him.

Every stoner ever: "But I drive better when I'm high, I concentrate more".

/Never said that
//Nope, not ever
///Shut up shut up shut up shut up

strangeguitar: I heard there were 2 PGA wives he was banging.

The other one was allegedly Jimmy Walker's wife Erin:

[i.cdn.turner.com image 314x236]

Looks like Dustin is into the carpenter's dream.

Carpenter's dream? Here's another photo of Erin:

[1.bp.blogspot.com image 251x400]

source: http://www.golfbabes.club/2011/03/erin-walker.html


Yup
 
2014-08-04 01:17:22 PM  
Why are these golf wives so trashy?  It's like the white people's version of Basketball Wives.
 
2014-08-04 01:43:26 PM  

Yanks_RSJ: Sirsky: They go on to explain how this isn't them jumping the gun and how it's possible that he saw the writing on the wall and self-policed, but... the PGAT flat out said he wasn't suspended by them.

What they didn't say is that his "voluntary" leave of absence was most likely negotiated with the PGA Tour, much like his "back injury" corresponded with a previous positive drug test.

He's not "suspended" but he's suspended.


He's double-super-secret suspended.

In other words, everybody got tired of his shiat and they told him to go away for a while. Trophy wives may be a dime a dozen, but they're still trophies.
 
2014-08-04 01:59:42 PM  
The guy just looks like a cock hound that goes around banging whatever is warm and wet, just because he can.

/mother farker can crush a golf ball though
 
2014-08-04 02:11:02 PM  
The Mackenzie woman has already said it wasn't her that Johnson's Johnson was putting into...and the Walker connection seems to have been grasped from thin air....

http://www.golfwrx.com/235931/recapping-the-reaction-to-dustin-johns on -news-and-rumors/

/golf gossip?  Really?
 
2014-08-04 02:17:10 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Why are these golf wives so trashy?  It's like the white people's version of Basketball Wives.


Every player #92 or better on the money list has already made a million bucks this year, but they're out of the house for about 20 weeks.

The lifestyle attracts a certain kind.
 
2014-08-04 02:31:26 PM  

Gonz: Every player #92 or better on the money list has already made a million bucks this year, but they're out of the house for about 20 weeks.


Do you really believe that all they do is play games for 20 weeks and sit inside the rest of the time?
 
2014-08-04 02:31:41 PM  
Gunny Highway:

/coke will not make you a better golfer

Nope, but booze sure will! :)
 
2014-08-04 02:41:47 PM  

chevydeuce: The Mackenzie woman has already said it wasn't her that Johnson's Johnson was putting into...and the Walker connection seems to have been grasped from thin air....

http://www.golfwrx.com/235931/recapping-the-reaction-to-dustin-johns on -news-and-rumors/

/golf gossip?  Really?


Oh, yeah. The hero worship around these guys is insane.
 
2014-08-04 03:29:58 PM  

Gonz: Rapmaster2000: Why are these golf wives so trashy?  It's like the white people's version of Basketball Wives.

Every player #92 or better on the money list has already made a million bucks this year, but they're out of the house for about 20 weeks.

The lifestyle attracts a certain kind.


I had this image in my head of more wholesome girls for some reason.
 
2014-08-04 03:34:53 PM  

wallywam1: Golf has drug testing? Why?


Did you see Mr. Woods when he came back after his first major injury?  His body was screaming "Hey, I'm roiding here!"
 
2014-08-04 03:46:10 PM  

2wolves: wallywam1: Golf has drug testing? Why?

Did you see Mr. Woods when he came back after his first major injury?  His body was screaming "Hey, I'm roiding here!"


Eldrick was screaming the loudest for testing, so that seems unlikely.
 
2014-08-04 03:48:27 PM  

MFAWG: 2wolves: wallywam1: Golf has drug testing? Why?

Did you see Mr. Woods when he came back after his first major injury?  His body was screaming "Hey, I'm roiding here!"

Eldrick was screaming the loudest for testing, so that seems unlikely.


`
I thought he was screaming loudest at people who have cameras that click?
 
2014-08-04 03:59:11 PM  

Gunny Highway: rickythepenguin: strangeguitar: I heard there were 2 PGA wives he was banging.

Nightputting?

Yeah i heard this too.  wonder who the cuckolds are.  weid story all around.  the PGA says it is a voluntary leave of absence after it was widely reported that he was suspended.  and apparently the PGA is very tightlipped about its drug testing program, and i heard on dan patrick just this morning that johnson's former swing coach fired him, saying he [johnson] had too many off-course distractions.  some golf commentator was on and said there were rumors about him crushing some PGA wives.  nutty story.

The rumor is that was Will MacKenzie's wife, Alli.

[carolinagolftips.com image 422x393]

This was in 2010, I believe.


GET IN THE HOLE!!
 
2014-08-04 06:00:24 PM  

chevydeuce: The Mackenzie woman has already said it wasn't her that Johnson's Johnson was putting into...and the Walker connection seems to have been grasped from thin air.


What she said was they were already separating when the "alleged night" happened. She was saying he didn't ruin their marriage, not that she didn't hook up with him.
 
2014-08-05 02:26:28 PM  
He also kept snorting up the line around the free-drop area.
 
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